I realized that an antidote to my perfectionism is to live in the eternal now.
That means getting out of my head and living more lightly, maybe even with some flow.
I will need to do this in baby steps, with much patience and gentleness.
Okay, so here goes.
This morning I went to mass at my old church. It was in honor of Pope Francis. I love to hear how simply he lived and how caring he was about people. He was the Pope for the people. As much as he was ill and his doctor’s wanted him to have rest he wanted to be out among the people. His life I find very insightful.
I head to visit my daughter tomorrow. May everyone have a great week. I come back very late on Friday my birthday. 65 yrs old!! Wow, I still can hardly believe it.
Happy birthday day Robin!
Birthdays come around pretty quickly, don’t they?
I need to remember that they are actually blessed events
Sending best wishes for a lovely visit with your daughter.
🩷
I think I’ve been preparing for my death
all of my life . . .
the cat that I was named after
died while I was still in my crib,
an antique one cast in iron
with round balls on the top of each vertical post.
As a child,
I would prowl the neighborhood,
finding all sorts of things,
both dead and alive . . .
a squirrel
frozen in position,
climbing up a curb,
a blue jay,
a worm
run over by someone’s bike.
One day
I brought home a baby robin that had fallen out of the nest . . .
we kept her in a box,
in a dark, quite place,
and I fed her baby food on chopsticks
made of toothpicks.
When she was big enough,
my mother put newspapers on the kitchen floor,
next to a big picture window,
and then set up her drying rack.
Chirpy loved her new digs . . .
she would hop from one rung to another,
peeping at the birds outside.
Eventually,
she started to fly
and we released her to the Universe
on a bright, summer morning,
full of promise.
I was so very grateful that she lived.
My grandfather died a slow and painful death,
and it broke my heart;
my older sister’s best friend died of cancer
at the age of 13,
and there was Caroline,
who I’ve always wondered
if she ever had the chance to grow up.
My father dealt with death a lot
and he always carried it home with him from the church where he was pastor,
embedded in his clothes like mist.
Sometimes
I wondered what it would be like for me . . .
I would lie in bed at night,
and considered how it might happen
and what it would feel like.
Would I feel joy?
Or regret?
Anger, relief?
Would it hurt?
Or perhaps gratitude
for the time I had been given here,
because even then
I knew that Life was an undeserved,
unasked for
gift.
I’ve been with many people who have died,
some in my arms,
others with hands held,
some with a cool cloth upon their brow,
and never questioned the quality of their experiences . . .
each is a sacred passing
from this world to another.
As I’ve grown up and grown old,
my thinking and perceptions
have shifted,
but I have come to realize
that I can have a very real part in my own death,
and believe that if I face it with peaceful surrender
I’ll find that all that thought and speculation
were breadcrumbs to guide me on my way.
Sparrow, I’m listening to a series of CDs from Eckhart Tolle about the importance of non-resistence. The course is called “Resist Nothing.” I was blessed to be with my sister Mary when she died last summer and I witness non-resistence. Her death was a peaceful death. I witnessed her “face death with peaceful surrender.”
Thanks for sharing the story of the baby robin. Creation is One.
I relate very much,
dear Carol,
to Eckhart Tolle’s work.
Yes . . .
sharing the death of a loved one
who surrenders peacefully,
is a beautiful thing.
Thank you for telling of your experience. ♥
How interesting being a daughter to a pastor. I love hearing about nurturing a baby bird back to health. May you find much peace each and every day dear Sparrow.
Not so interesting,
dear Robin Ann . . .
I caused my father much distress . . .
you could say I was a thorn in his side,
which turned out to be a gift
later in his life
more so with my mother,
who never got over that I chose not to be a ‘Christian.’.
I once hatched a seagull out of an egg,
raised it
and taught it to fly . . .
another story for another day. 🙂
my God, what a statement of Love and of your love of life and of your soft and tender kind heart towards all living beings. May you be blessed all times and all your way through, dear Sparrow. From my heart.
I’m not sure any new insights are emerging. I am aware that I am experiencing some depression from time to time but so far have been able to keep it at bay for the most part.
I experience some depression too, Carol, although mine is more of an anxiety.
It’s been fairly mild for me so I’ve been in and out of it.
I know it’s no fun.
Sending you warm thoughts of spring days in the sunshine
and spring showers that nurture with gentle rain. ☀️🌦️🩷
Thinking of you dear Carol and hoping you get out in the sunshine. In my neck of the woods we have had a lot of rain and that can be depressing but I try to think of how happy the spring flowers are.
I’m sorry,
dear Carol,
that you are experiencing this sadness or depression…
not that circumstances have caused it,
there are a lot of things going on in the world
to be disturbed about,
and make us feel helpless.
I send you my warm thoughts,
and hopes that a brighter day appears soon
with love . . .
sparrow
When I pour self-compassion and gratitude into my body, I am more in tune with it, and my body is also able to do hard things more sustainably. The way I treat my body really unlocks something new.
It’s really ironic, but just before looking at yesterday’s Daily Question (which was about embracing imperfection), I had JUST written out this insight in response to a question in for our Grateful Gathering monthly practice (the question was “What opportunity or insight am I grateful for that emerged from challenge or hardship?”)
“It is very challenging to uproot/transform self-judgment, and when the feeling of self-judgment is strong, it is hard for me to connect with others. At the same time, this insight can help me be compassionate with others when they seem to be perfectionist or judging.”
I really don’t like people when I think they are judging me or being judgmental with others.
What a great point you’ve made about being compassionate with others when they judge.
After all, it’s quite the struggle for me to stop doing it myself. 🤷♀️
Thank you Elizabeth.
It seems there is nothing new under the sun.
I am recycling insights and learning lessons again and again. Maybe one insight is, that when I can stay loose and open, even in adverse situations, the outcomes tend to be better for me. I guess this means being less rigid. It’s a tricky state of mind to maintain. It requires tempering disappointment and even keeping an eye on exuberance.
Maybe this is what’s meant be equanimity?
Yes, Charlie, equanimity.
Dropping attachment to outcomes.
That is helpful for me to hear.
I know this, but I still get very attached to outcomes
and still seem to think I can control outcomes.
Love your insights in this reflection.
After spending years pouring myself into my family, my adult children have moved on with their own lives—and my world suddenly got silent. I’m adapting to how my role as a mom has changed—learning to let go of who I was and how I spent my days, transitioning from an identity built around motherhood.
I’m also finally facing the impact of being in a toxic marriage for over two decades. Now, I fill the silent space by starting to understand how my ex-husband’s behavior shaped such a large part of my life. I’m finally grieving: the relationship I thought I had, the person I thought he was, the future that will never happen, and the past that’s never coming back.
I’m grieving the person I was, the person I became, and wondering who I am now.
I realize now that healing doesn’t have a timetable. It doesn’t just happen because time has passed, and there’s no shame in where I am right now. I’m learning that even though the future feels daunting, I’ve already survived the hardest parts. And I’ll keep moving forward—even when it feels dark.
Dear Antonia,
You have been through so much over so many years.
It must be so jolting to look back on.
You may be lonely seeing your children,
whose lives you built yours around, grown and on their own.
I think I would feel lonely.
I’m wondering if you are in a support group, Antonia.
I started with a grief support group
a couple of years after losing my younger sister.
What has helped the most is connecting with others
who were also dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Whether their situation was similar to mine or not
sharing my pain and hearing others share their pain
helped me feel so connected. I knew that I was not alone in it.
Something about that connection brings much comfort.
Sending love to you, Antonia
Mary
Antonia, There is so much wisdom in your words. Your willingness is the key. Just keep living your questions instead of waiting for answers. As you said, “I’ll keep moving forward—even when it feels dark.”
“Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but . . . life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
Gabriel García Márquez
Yes Dear Antonia still move forward one day at a time. I am glad you are here finding the support of this group : )
What I found is similar regarding my children but now they are in their early 30’s and back to needing and wanting me in their life. Thinking of you, during this difficult time- hugs!
Dear, dear Antonia . . .
You’ve been,
and are still going through
a heartbreaking, long lasting trauma,
and you will not heal overnight.
You are now free to use that silent space
to find your truth . . .
you are held and supported
by all of us who have survived trauma,
many of us still struggling to come up for air.
We’re all in this together,
and do not think for one minute
that you are alone . . .
we are with you
and we are for you
with love . . . ♥
Great question! That my human mind world is completely false and is just pictures that I have taken throughout my life. I’m seeing more and more that even the smallest things- thoughts are just falseness! It’s so liberating to let go and not live in my picture world full of opinions, judgement, feelings, worries etc… this meditation is truly a gift from the universe.
I’m so grateful. Thank you so much. ☺️
Many insights do come easily right now, for which being deeply grateful. After a long time of working through stuck fear due to early trauma, of painfully becoming aware of my state, being helped a lot in all of this and to accept it, of exploring all the extremely painful which belonged to the blockage and of finally letting go of the fixed feelings belonging to the past, of identifying with and of having had no chance other than always to repeat the same reaction when triggered. One important other insight was that i was unaware to have “abused” someone as a kind of replacement of my former absent father and can only deeply apologize from my heart for this complete misunderstanding and confusion of roles, a fixed idea in my mind of being entitled in a way while in reality, projecting my needs onto a kind of fatherfigure who was not at all in charge for the original one who could never take his rol. In addition this was especially loaded with the above described fixed mechanism, which resulted in so often repeated imagined wrongs and in deeply sad situations of many kinds as well as almost a demand for consolation. I only by now fully understand the damage this had done to the relationships.
Nevertheless, after all these years, this all is understood, accepted, looked at from many sides and is on its way to be ending right now, for which i can only express my deep thanks to the ones who had the courage and compassion to endure the projection and so compassionately helped to look into the mirror in order to become aware of through experiencing what i have done and so to free this awful mechanism and burden done to all around. Thank you dearly, to the ones concerned, to my dear friends who knew and stayed aside nevertheles when things were almost unbearable and also to you here, all having been present with your hearts. 🙇♀️❤️🙇♀️🙏
A few insights have come to me lately. One is, “I can always choose kindness.” I’ve felt frustrated in our intergenerational home. I think I’m sad, but it shows as annoyance. I am raising children and caring for my parents with Alzheimer’s— it saddens me to see their cognitive decline. Sometimes I’m impatient. But I’m learning to find humor and joke with them—they still have it. I’m connecting more deeply with stop, look, and go. I feel the impermanence, which makes everything sacred. But I’m also watching my parents become liminal and begin their final journey
You have so much on your plate now, Avril.
I so admire what you are doing.
It is sad to see parents decline.
My 91 year old Mom is still having trouble transitioning to her new Assisted Living Facility
I get impatient with her too and I also love her so much!
Sending my love to you, Avril.
And as Carol said, please do be very kind to yourself.
As Joseph pointed out a few days ago, “diminish-ment” is really a part of aging. Everything is about letting go, isn’t it? May you “go with the flow of your very busy and challenging life” and be kind to yourself as well as others.
Dear Avril, You are very strong and insightful but I know this is all so very very difficult. My aunt has Alzheimer’s and I am supportive of my cousins. Not first hand. Wishing you much peace during this difficult journey
Your plate is very full,
dear Avril . . .
I think you know what to do,
but it is very hard
when you are weighed down with so many cares at once,
and when you are dog-tired,
it is nigh impossible.
Be kind and patient with your parents,
but be kind and patient with yourself as well.
I hold you in my heart
with love . . .
sparrow ♥
“But I’m also watching my parents become liminal and begin their final journey”
I love this, Avril. I will keep this in my heart as I age.
All the best to you and your parents. They are so fortunate to have you.
Avril- I’m touched by your post. Having patience is truly important. Let go and feel loved. It’s not easy to be perfect so don’t expect it. I was also a bit harsh towards my mom today because she seemed to ask questions that I thought she knew about already. How do I know what she is thinking or feeling? Thanks for reminding me to have compassion and let go of judgement.
Love this!! Thanks for sharing. Would be so neat to live there! There is an island in Narragansett Bay that you can only get there by ferry but there are cars coming over on the ferry. There are no restaurants or grocery stores, only one convenience store!
I lived in a place like that once,
only it was on the mainland . . .
it was wonderful living.
The town
used to be called ‘Herring Gut’
and was on the coast of Maine.
We did have a post office though,
a gas station,
and a general store. ♥
Maybe not a new insight but certainly a reminder is today’s Word for the Day from Pope Francis that gratitude and gratefulness are important to living a good life.
The willows, cottonwoods, box alders and various shrubs are beginning to burst forth with green from their buds. Soon a new bunch of migrating birds will be here, to join the robins and other early birds, taking refuge and nourishment in the riparian area along the river, now flowing with the melting snow high in the San Juans. Spring takes its time at 7900 feet, close to the foothills of the Rio Grande national forest. But when the time is right, life abounds from its long winter slumber. Not a new insight, rather a renewed insight. May all have enough during the gift of today.
Nothing sounds quite the same,
dear Joseph,
as snow melting
in those high mountain waterways . . .
more exuberant
than at any other time of the year. ♥
Joseph, what a beautiful post this sounds absolutely wonderful. I love taking in the sounds and smells and the beautiful colours of nature. Thank you for reminding me what’s important!
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I realized that an antidote to my perfectionism is to live in the eternal now.
That means getting out of my head and living more lightly, maybe even with some flow.
I will need to do this in baby steps, with much patience and gentleness.
Okay, so here goes.
This morning I went to mass at my old church. It was in honor of Pope Francis. I love to hear how simply he lived and how caring he was about people. He was the Pope for the people. As much as he was ill and his doctor’s wanted him to have rest he wanted to be out among the people. His life I find very insightful.
I head to visit my daughter tomorrow. May everyone have a great week. I come back very late on Friday my birthday. 65 yrs old!! Wow, I still can hardly believe it.
Happy birthday day Robin!
Birthdays come around pretty quickly, don’t they?
I need to remember that they are actually blessed events
Sending best wishes for a lovely visit with your daughter.
🩷
Celebrate well the gift of you.
Love this!!
🎁
Have a safe trip, Robin Ann.. And happy early birthday!
Safe Travels 🙂
I think I’ve been preparing for my death
all of my life . . .
the cat that I was named after
died while I was still in my crib,
an antique one cast in iron
with round balls on the top of each vertical post.
As a child,
I would prowl the neighborhood,
finding all sorts of things,
both dead and alive . . .
a squirrel
frozen in position,
climbing up a curb,
a blue jay,
a worm
run over by someone’s bike.
One day
I brought home a baby robin that had fallen out of the nest . . .
we kept her in a box,
in a dark, quite place,
and I fed her baby food on chopsticks
made of toothpicks.
When she was big enough,
my mother put newspapers on the kitchen floor,
next to a big picture window,
and then set up her drying rack.
Chirpy loved her new digs . . .
she would hop from one rung to another,
peeping at the birds outside.
Eventually,
she started to fly
and we released her to the Universe
on a bright, summer morning,
full of promise.
I was so very grateful that she lived.
My grandfather died a slow and painful death,
and it broke my heart;
my older sister’s best friend died of cancer
at the age of 13,
and there was Caroline,
who I’ve always wondered
if she ever had the chance to grow up.
My father dealt with death a lot
and he always carried it home with him from the church where he was pastor,
embedded in his clothes like mist.
Sometimes
I wondered what it would be like for me . . .
I would lie in bed at night,
and considered how it might happen
and what it would feel like.
Would I feel joy?
Or regret?
Anger, relief?
Would it hurt?
Or perhaps gratitude
for the time I had been given here,
because even then
I knew that Life was an undeserved,
unasked for
gift.
I’ve been with many people who have died,
some in my arms,
others with hands held,
some with a cool cloth upon their brow,
and never questioned the quality of their experiences . . .
each is a sacred passing
from this world to another.
As I’ve grown up and grown old,
my thinking and perceptions
have shifted,
but I have come to realize
that I can have a very real part in my own death,
and believe that if I face it with peaceful surrender
I’ll find that all that thought and speculation
were breadcrumbs to guide me on my way.
Sparrow, I’m listening to a series of CDs from Eckhart Tolle about the importance of non-resistence. The course is called “Resist Nothing.” I was blessed to be with my sister Mary when she died last summer and I witness non-resistence. Her death was a peaceful death. I witnessed her “face death with peaceful surrender.”
Thanks for sharing the story of the baby robin. Creation is One.
I relate very much,
dear Carol,
to Eckhart Tolle’s work.
Yes . . .
sharing the death of a loved one
who surrenders peacefully,
is a beautiful thing.
Thank you for telling of your experience. ♥
Do you remember what it was like before you were born?
Perhaps death will be the same.
Taken from a talk by Alan Watts
Sometimes I think I do,
dear Joseph . . .
as in a dream,
or when I’m suspended
between wakefulness and sleep . . . ♥
How interesting being a daughter to a pastor. I love hearing about nurturing a baby bird back to health. May you find much peace each and every day dear Sparrow.
Not so interesting,
dear Robin Ann . . .
I caused my father much distress . . .
you could say I was a thorn in his side,
which turned out to be a gift
later in his life
more so with my mother,
who never got over that I chose not to be a ‘Christian.’.
I once hatched a seagull out of an egg,
raised it
and taught it to fly . . .
another story for another day. 🙂
my God, what a statement of Love and of your love of life and of your soft and tender kind heart towards all living beings. May you be blessed all times and all your way through, dear Sparrow. From my heart.
Thank you,
dear Ose,
for the words from your heart . . .
they touch the broken parts of me
with love . . . ♥
I’m not sure any new insights are emerging. I am aware that I am experiencing some depression from time to time but so far have been able to keep it at bay for the most part.
I experience some depression too, Carol, although mine is more of an anxiety.
It’s been fairly mild for me so I’ve been in and out of it.
I know it’s no fun.
Sending you warm thoughts of spring days in the sunshine
and spring showers that nurture with gentle rain. ☀️🌦️🩷
Thinking of you dear Carol and hoping you get out in the sunshine. In my neck of the woods we have had a lot of rain and that can be depressing but I try to think of how happy the spring flowers are.
Robin Ann, It’s been raining here, too. I went to a plant swap today and spring is definitely in the air! Thanks for your thoughtful note.
So very known to me also, dear Carol. i will keep you in my prayers. May Light and His Love brighten these dark moments to guide you through.
Thank you, Ose. Your prayers are appreciated.
I’m sorry,
dear Carol,
that you are experiencing this sadness or depression…
not that circumstances have caused it,
there are a lot of things going on in the world
to be disturbed about,
and make us feel helpless.
I send you my warm thoughts,
and hopes that a brighter day appears soon
with love . . .
sparrow
Thanks, Sparrow.
When I pour self-compassion and gratitude into my body, I am more in tune with it, and my body is also able to do hard things more sustainably. The way I treat my body really unlocks something new.
Yes, I see what you are saying, Drea!
Great insight!
Thank you Mary.
It’s really ironic, but just before looking at yesterday’s Daily Question (which was about embracing imperfection), I had JUST written out this insight in response to a question in for our Grateful Gathering monthly practice (the question was “What opportunity or insight am I grateful for that emerged from challenge or hardship?”)
“It is very challenging to uproot/transform self-judgment, and when the feeling of self-judgment is strong, it is hard for me to connect with others. At the same time, this insight can help me be compassionate with others when they seem to be perfectionist or judging.”
I really don’t like people when I think they are judging me or being judgmental with others.
What a great point you’ve made about being compassionate with others when they judge.
After all, it’s quite the struggle for me to stop doing it myself. 🤷♀️
Thank you Elizabeth.
It seems there is nothing new under the sun.
I am recycling insights and learning lessons again and again. Maybe one insight is, that when I can stay loose and open, even in adverse situations, the outcomes tend to be better for me. I guess this means being less rigid. It’s a tricky state of mind to maintain. It requires tempering disappointment and even keeping an eye on exuberance.
Maybe this is what’s meant be equanimity?
Thank you for this reflection. Helpful.
I think so,
dear Charlie . . .
I think we might be growing up. 🙂
Yes, Charlie, equanimity.
Dropping attachment to outcomes.
That is helpful for me to hear.
I know this, but I still get very attached to outcomes
and still seem to think I can control outcomes.
Love your insights in this reflection.
After spending years pouring myself into my family, my adult children have moved on with their own lives—and my world suddenly got silent. I’m adapting to how my role as a mom has changed—learning to let go of who I was and how I spent my days, transitioning from an identity built around motherhood.
I’m also finally facing the impact of being in a toxic marriage for over two decades. Now, I fill the silent space by starting to understand how my ex-husband’s behavior shaped such a large part of my life. I’m finally grieving: the relationship I thought I had, the person I thought he was, the future that will never happen, and the past that’s never coming back.
I’m grieving the person I was, the person I became, and wondering who I am now.
I realize now that healing doesn’t have a timetable. It doesn’t just happen because time has passed, and there’s no shame in where I am right now. I’m learning that even though the future feels daunting, I’ve already survived the hardest parts. And I’ll keep moving forward—even when it feels dark.
Dear Antonia,
You have been through so much over so many years.
It must be so jolting to look back on.
You may be lonely seeing your children,
whose lives you built yours around, grown and on their own.
I think I would feel lonely.
I’m wondering if you are in a support group, Antonia.
I started with a grief support group
a couple of years after losing my younger sister.
What has helped the most is connecting with others
who were also dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Whether their situation was similar to mine or not
sharing my pain and hearing others share their pain
helped me feel so connected. I knew that I was not alone in it.
Something about that connection brings much comfort.
Sending love to you, Antonia
Mary
Antonia, There is so much wisdom in your words. Your willingness is the key. Just keep living your questions instead of waiting for answers. As you said, “I’ll keep moving forward—even when it feels dark.”
“Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but . . . life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
Gabriel García Márquez
Yes Dear Antonia still move forward one day at a time. I am glad you are here finding the support of this group : )
What I found is similar regarding my children but now they are in their early 30’s and back to needing and wanting me in their life. Thinking of you, during this difficult time- hugs!
Dear, dear Antonia . . .
You’ve been,
and are still going through
a heartbreaking, long lasting trauma,
and you will not heal overnight.
You are now free to use that silent space
to find your truth . . .
you are held and supported
by all of us who have survived trauma,
many of us still struggling to come up for air.
We’re all in this together,
and do not think for one minute
that you are alone . . .
we are with you
and we are for you
with love . . . ♥
Well said, Sparrow.
I absolutely agree.
I wish you courage and serenity on this journey. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Dear Linda,
How are you doing?
I’ve thought of you many times.
You’re bravely walking a very difficult road. You’re not alone. Thank you for sharing your journey.
Great question! That my human mind world is completely false and is just pictures that I have taken throughout my life. I’m seeing more and more that even the smallest things- thoughts are just falseness! It’s so liberating to let go and not live in my picture world full of opinions, judgement, feelings, worries etc… this meditation is truly a gift from the universe.
I’m so grateful. Thank you so much. ☺️
Many insights do come easily right now, for which being deeply grateful. After a long time of working through stuck fear due to early trauma, of painfully becoming aware of my state, being helped a lot in all of this and to accept it, of exploring all the extremely painful which belonged to the blockage and of finally letting go of the fixed feelings belonging to the past, of identifying with and of having had no chance other than always to repeat the same reaction when triggered. One important other insight was that i was unaware to have “abused” someone as a kind of replacement of my former absent father and can only deeply apologize from my heart for this complete misunderstanding and confusion of roles, a fixed idea in my mind of being entitled in a way while in reality, projecting my needs onto a kind of fatherfigure who was not at all in charge for the original one who could never take his rol. In addition this was especially loaded with the above described fixed mechanism, which resulted in so often repeated imagined wrongs and in deeply sad situations of many kinds as well as almost a demand for consolation. I only by now fully understand the damage this had done to the relationships.
Nevertheless, after all these years, this all is understood, accepted, looked at from many sides and is on its way to be ending right now, for which i can only express my deep thanks to the ones who had the courage and compassion to endure the projection and so compassionately helped to look into the mirror in order to become aware of through experiencing what i have done and so to free this awful mechanism and burden done to all around. Thank you dearly, to the ones concerned, to my dear friends who knew and stayed aside nevertheles when things were almost unbearable and also to you here, all having been present with your hearts. 🙇♀️❤️🙇♀️🙏
Sending my love and appreciation for you dear Ose.
❤️
Lots of reflection and healing- it is all good Ose . Thank you for your deep sharing . Wishing you much peace.
Now the healing can begin,
dear Ose,
for you,
and for the others involved . . .
open the doors to your cage . . . ♥
Dear Ose isn’t it amazing to let everything go? I’m so happy for you guys o let go! Congratulations. We can’t take anything with us!
Two newly renewed insights:
Good enough can be the best.
The ministry of presence is important.
Yes Yram. I’m still trying to learn that good enough can go a long way!
And the ministry of presence- just beautiful!
I hope you are well. I know you have been through a lot.
Love this
Love this, thank you Yram.
Yram- absolutely!
A few insights have come to me lately. One is, “I can always choose kindness.” I’ve felt frustrated in our intergenerational home. I think I’m sad, but it shows as annoyance. I am raising children and caring for my parents with Alzheimer’s— it saddens me to see their cognitive decline. Sometimes I’m impatient. But I’m learning to find humor and joke with them—they still have it. I’m connecting more deeply with stop, look, and go. I feel the impermanence, which makes everything sacred. But I’m also watching my parents become liminal and begin their final journey
You have so much on your plate now, Avril.
I so admire what you are doing.
It is sad to see parents decline.
My 91 year old Mom is still having trouble transitioning to her new Assisted Living Facility
I get impatient with her too and I also love her so much!
Sending my love to you, Avril.
And as Carol said, please do be very kind to yourself.
As Joseph pointed out a few days ago, “diminish-ment” is really a part of aging. Everything is about letting go, isn’t it? May you “go with the flow of your very busy and challenging life” and be kind to yourself as well as others.
Thanks for the reminder Carol
Dear Avril, You are very strong and insightful but I know this is all so very very difficult. My aunt has Alzheimer’s and I am supportive of my cousins. Not first hand. Wishing you much peace during this difficult journey
Thank you Robin Ann
Your plate is very full,
dear Avril . . .
I think you know what to do,
but it is very hard
when you are weighed down with so many cares at once,
and when you are dog-tired,
it is nigh impossible.
Be kind and patient with your parents,
but be kind and patient with yourself as well.
I hold you in my heart
with love . . .
sparrow ♥
I am my biggest critic
Me too!
We both need to cut that out.
It doesn’t help, does it?
“But I’m also watching my parents become liminal and begin their final journey”
I love this, Avril. I will keep this in my heart as I age.
All the best to you and your parents. They are so fortunate to have you.
Thank you dear Linda— I appreciate your words.
Avril- I’m touched by your post. Having patience is truly important. Let go and feel loved. It’s not easy to be perfect so don’t expect it. I was also a bit harsh towards my mom today because she seemed to ask questions that I thought she knew about already. How do I know what she is thinking or feeling? Thanks for reminding me to have compassion and let go of judgement.
It is a practice. We’ll have good days and not so good days. But, these responses remind me to be kind to me!
Sounds challenging indeed. All the best in your journey at this stage of your life. May you have ease.
Thank you Maeve.
This is a tough journey we are experiencing. To remember it is sacred is a blessing.
You know this journey very well too.
That there are still places in the USA that purposely do not allow/have cars. I thoroughly enjoyed reading an article about Mackinac Island [between Michigan’s Upper and Lower Peninsulas].
https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20250425-the-us-island-where-cars-are-banned
Wishing everyone a peaceful and relaxing Sunday.
I’d like to visit there!
Love this!! Thanks for sharing. Would be so neat to live there! There is an island in Narragansett Bay that you can only get there by ferry but there are cars coming over on the ferry. There are no restaurants or grocery stores, only one convenience store!
I lived in a place like that once,
only it was on the mainland . . .
it was wonderful living.
The town
used to be called ‘Herring Gut’
and was on the coast of Maine.
We did have a post office though,
a gas station,
and a general store. ♥
So nice!
Maybe not a new insight but certainly a reminder is today’s Word for the Day from Pope Francis that gratitude and gratefulness are important to living a good life.
The willows, cottonwoods, box alders and various shrubs are beginning to burst forth with green from their buds. Soon a new bunch of migrating birds will be here, to join the robins and other early birds, taking refuge and nourishment in the riparian area along the river, now flowing with the melting snow high in the San Juans. Spring takes its time at 7900 feet, close to the foothills of the Rio Grande national forest. But when the time is right, life abounds from its long winter slumber. Not a new insight, rather a renewed insight. May all have enough during the gift of today.
Such a vivid beautiful imagine. Thanks for sharing Joseph!
Nothing sounds quite the same,
dear Joseph,
as snow melting
in those high mountain waterways . . .
more exuberant
than at any other time of the year. ♥
“May all have enough during the gift of today”- a beautiful sentiment. I shall carry that with me-thank you
Joseph, what a beautiful post this sounds absolutely wonderful. I love taking in the sounds and smells and the beautiful colours of nature. Thank you for reminding me what’s important!