I try to nourish my connections every day. Whether it’s a text or a phone call or just being present. But, today I have some time with my amazing wife, and I will be as present and loving as possible. ❤️
Nice Charlie, the little things add up. I say “Hi” to people a lot during my family walks at the mall. When going swimming at LA Fitness, I’ve encountered friendly people who have said “Hi” and help point me to an open lane.
Interacting with strangers brings happiness. There’s less temptations to dwell on unimportant items. We generally talk about common interests. Minnesota people love the weather and Vikings.
Yesterday’s quote of the day from bell hooks immediately comes to mind here –
“Just a cultivating a garden requires turning over the ground, pulling weeds, planting, and watering, doing the work of love is all about taking action.”
This analogy between love and gardening is too perfect, and speaks to the ways in which i can nourish the most meaningful connection in my life.
Turning over the ground -> create more space for connection
Pulling weeds -> addressing our own negative patterns
Planting -> cultivating love through small intentional acts
Watering -> consistency and patience, keep showing up, no matter what
Taking a little different meaning- I can go outside close my eyes and take deep breaths using my smell and hearing to connect with all around me. I can feel the warmth of the Sun and the chill in the air and then I can open my eyes and connect with the space around me hopefully connecting with peace inside myself.
Already done! Before starting my morning reading routine of poetry and this site I texted one of my best friends who had surgery last week to check on how her recovery is going. Last night I texted my younger sister, who got married in December to her partner of 37 years, to tell her that seeing the pictures from our weekend with them makes me smile (we were witnesses for their quiet ceremony in judge’s chambers and spent the weekend staying in a nice hotel and being tourists together).
My team at work had a deep conversation yesterday about what we do, which is centered in, grounded on, always advancing equity. That work can feel (and is) threatened by national events. We’ve always described it as equity and were talking about whether drawing attention to that right now is the best thing for the sake of the work continuing. (Side note: I feel incredibly fortunate to live in Washington state, where our laws and leadership stand for equity and welcome all.)
This morning I reread a quote I wrote in my journal at the beginning of January and immediately shared it in our team chat:
“There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the other person, but because if you don’t speak, they have changed you.” — Mary Quinn
Today’s my Menards piano day. I draw people to me. I can imagine how special it is to hear someone play piano when going shopping.
I remember my family trip to Vegas on to California last October. 1 day in Vegas, we were just walking around in a building. There was a piano player. Even I was amazed how great they were.
I have a few friends that could use a bit of recognition and compassion. I will reach out with a greeting.
I want to realize the worries in my life do not define me.
YRAM, I hear you. Sometimes when I allow worry to rear its head, I get quiet and keep repeating the Jesus prayer, “Lord, Jesus, the Christ, have mercy on me.” like a mantra. If my worry is about another, I pray for their well being or ask that they be given wisdom. My mentor use to remind me that my anxiety did not define me or lesson the quality and quantity of my faith. He encouraged me to act instead of react. I find that to act, I have to be patient and present to myself first, breathing grace in and breathing grace out. Just writing this has helped me place my mind in my heart. I hope it helps you. Hugs, Carol
I have a young friend, from our neighborhood, who is away at college for her first year. In addition to her studies, she is running cross country and loving it. It has created another community for her. I recently learned one of her teammates, a freshman also, was killed in a skiing accident over the recent winter break. I have been writing a letter in my mind to her. Today, I will write that letter in a beautiful card, and mail it to her. Life is just so hard sometimes.
I can nurture my connection to my body.
When I walk this morning, I can pay attention to how my body feels,
my breathing, my posture, my legs, and arms,
and how the air feels on my body, on my face,
as I move through space.
Sending love to all.
I read this as nourishing a meaningful connection to my life.
instead of in my life. 🤓
I scratched my head and then answered the question.
Good morning Mary. I’ve noticed that you have been posting quite a bit recently and I just wanted to reach out to say hello with warm memories of our time together in the Gratitude Lounge. I hope this is the same Mary!? I read the responses here each morning during my prayer and meditation time. This site continues to be a blessing in my life. 🙏 Such a delight to my heart to see you here. 💜
I have a difficult relationship with a stepdaughter.Although she is not living with us, she is a source of contention for my husband and I. I need to shift my thoughts about her. Actions are rooted in thought. So if I think negatively and act positively my insincerity is palpable. This undercurrent of negativity is affecting my marriage. I have to go deep into my heart. I have to let go. This girl is part of my karmic story. I have described her as “my greatest teacher”—but, I’m just not getting “it” through my thick skull… I also need to call one of my BFF’s, Melita.
There is temptation, in every conscious moment, to grip onto my notion of what is happening around me. There is a cascade effect with each encounter with reality. Interpretation, labeling, making sense of, judgement, ascertaining potential threats and opportunities, in short strategizing myself right out of the moment. All of which tend to make any potential for actually paying attention and being aware of my real in-the-moment experience pretty doubtful. It all is natural of course. This is how my mind has become acquainted with navigating through the mysteries of this place and time.
To the extent all of that is happening I am unavailable. I am stunted. My senses are dulled. I am so busy watching the fantasy of what I am thinking is going on at work, in my family, or worse what already happened thirty years ago and rehashing my motives and ‘their’ transgressions. As if I am on the stand before a judge arguing my side of ‘the story’ for the umpteenth time. As the beauty that surrounds me, the amazing array of vibrancy, overwhelming tenderness of creatures, and magnificence of the humans I call ‘my social life’ have passed by in a blur. Not to mention all of that is exhausting.
Nourishing meaningful relationships of any kind demand of me the act of relinquishment. I have to turn it all over, let it all go. Just stop. Open myself to what is lying before me in real life. Listen to the sounds. Not with the demanding criteria of identifying its source and judging it (oh here we go: “why do people need to modify their cars to make so much noise?!”) From the hum of the traffic coming from over the trees across the canal on the highway half a mile away…as much as to hear it like the waves of the sea, sound for its own sake. The music of eternity.
I can see value in recollection (It is what I am doing now, to write this) but it is a discipline linked to accuracy. It is really stopping and taking store of what my experience truly is around nourishing others and what I can do, could do, can train myself to actually do…recollection does demand a relinquishment, an openness, with expectation! Not that I will get some token of reward like a cookie, but that I will encounter, that multitude of life forms will reveal beauty and wonder, and I can fall in love again.
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
I try to nourish my connections every day. Whether it’s a text or a phone call or just being present. But, today I have some time with my amazing wife, and I will be as present and loving as possible. ❤️
Nice Charlie, the little things add up. I say “Hi” to people a lot during my family walks at the mall. When going swimming at LA Fitness, I’ve encountered friendly people who have said “Hi” and help point me to an open lane.
Interacting with strangers brings happiness. There’s less temptations to dwell on unimportant items. We generally talk about common interests. Minnesota people love the weather and Vikings.
Charlie T, Your words make me smile and bring me joy. Blessing to you and your wife today and every day.
Yesterday’s quote of the day from bell hooks immediately comes to mind here –
“Just a cultivating a garden requires turning over the ground, pulling weeds, planting, and watering, doing the work of love is all about taking action.”
This analogy between love and gardening is too perfect, and speaks to the ways in which i can nourish the most meaningful connection in my life.
Turning over the ground -> create more space for connection
Pulling weeds -> addressing our own negative patterns
Planting -> cultivating love through small intentional acts
Watering -> consistency and patience, keep showing up, no matter what
Wishing everyone a wonderful Wednesday! ☀️
Your words are inspiring…so beautifully said. Very helpful. Deeply appreciated.
Taking a little different meaning- I can go outside close my eyes and take deep breaths using my smell and hearing to connect with all around me. I can feel the warmth of the Sun and the chill in the air and then I can open my eyes and connect with the space around me hopefully connecting with peace inside myself.
check on a friend who has not been feeling up to par; meditate more than I usually do to connect with myself.
Already done! Before starting my morning reading routine of poetry and this site I texted one of my best friends who had surgery last week to check on how her recovery is going. Last night I texted my younger sister, who got married in December to her partner of 37 years, to tell her that seeing the pictures from our weekend with them makes me smile (we were witnesses for their quiet ceremony in judge’s chambers and spent the weekend staying in a nice hotel and being tourists together).
One more thing I did this morning–
My team at work had a deep conversation yesterday about what we do, which is centered in, grounded on, always advancing equity. That work can feel (and is) threatened by national events. We’ve always described it as equity and were talking about whether drawing attention to that right now is the best thing for the sake of the work continuing. (Side note: I feel incredibly fortunate to live in Washington state, where our laws and leadership stand for equity and welcome all.)
This morning I reread a quote I wrote in my journal at the beginning of January and immediately shared it in our team chat:
“There are times when you must speak, not because you are going to change the other person, but because if you don’t speak, they have changed you.” — Mary Quinn
Today’s my Menards piano day. I draw people to me. I can imagine how special it is to hear someone play piano when going shopping.
I remember my family trip to Vegas on to California last October. 1 day in Vegas, we were just walking around in a building. There was a piano player. Even I was amazed how great they were.
I have a few friends that could use a bit of recognition and compassion. I will reach out with a greeting.
I want to realize the worries in my life do not define me.
YRAM, I hear you. Sometimes when I allow worry to rear its head, I get quiet and keep repeating the Jesus prayer, “Lord, Jesus, the Christ, have mercy on me.” like a mantra. If my worry is about another, I pray for their well being or ask that they be given wisdom. My mentor use to remind me that my anxiety did not define me or lesson the quality and quantity of my faith. He encouraged me to act instead of react. I find that to act, I have to be patient and present to myself first, breathing grace in and breathing grace out. Just writing this has helped me place my mind in my heart. I hope it helps you. Hugs, Carol
I have a young friend, from our neighborhood, who is away at college for her first year. In addition to her studies, she is running cross country and loving it. It has created another community for her. I recently learned one of her teammates, a freshman also, was killed in a skiing accident over the recent winter break. I have been writing a letter in my mind to her. Today, I will write that letter in a beautiful card, and mail it to her. Life is just so hard sometimes.
I can nurture my connection to my body.
When I walk this morning, I can pay attention to how my body feels,
my breathing, my posture, my legs, and arms,
and how the air feels on my body, on my face,
as I move through space.
Sending love to all.
I read this as nourishing a meaningful connection to my life.
instead of in my life. 🤓
I scratched my head and then answered the question.
Mary, I needed your response today. Thank you so very much.
Good morning Mary. I’ve noticed that you have been posting quite a bit recently and I just wanted to reach out to say hello with warm memories of our time together in the Gratitude Lounge. I hope this is the same Mary!? I read the responses here each morning during my prayer and meditation time. This site continues to be a blessing in my life. 🙏 Such a delight to my heart to see you here. 💜
Reach out to let them know I’m thinking of them.
I have a difficult relationship with a stepdaughter.Although she is not living with us, she is a source of contention for my husband and I. I need to shift my thoughts about her. Actions are rooted in thought. So if I think negatively and act positively my insincerity is palpable. This undercurrent of negativity is affecting my marriage. I have to go deep into my heart. I have to let go. This girl is part of my karmic story. I have described her as “my greatest teacher”—but, I’m just not getting “it” through my thick skull… I also need to call one of my BFF’s, Melita.
Loving kindness to all.
Ditto!
Log in to the Crisis Text Line and start a conversation with someone who just simply needs words of care and an empathetic connection.
Have fun, my Ngoc. I’ve noticed you benefitting from that. As Carol has told me before, “Energy flows to and from the stage.”
What a beautiful service Ngoc.
Relinquish.
There is temptation, in every conscious moment, to grip onto my notion of what is happening around me. There is a cascade effect with each encounter with reality. Interpretation, labeling, making sense of, judgement, ascertaining potential threats and opportunities, in short strategizing myself right out of the moment. All of which tend to make any potential for actually paying attention and being aware of my real in-the-moment experience pretty doubtful. It all is natural of course. This is how my mind has become acquainted with navigating through the mysteries of this place and time.
To the extent all of that is happening I am unavailable. I am stunted. My senses are dulled. I am so busy watching the fantasy of what I am thinking is going on at work, in my family, or worse what already happened thirty years ago and rehashing my motives and ‘their’ transgressions. As if I am on the stand before a judge arguing my side of ‘the story’ for the umpteenth time. As the beauty that surrounds me, the amazing array of vibrancy, overwhelming tenderness of creatures, and magnificence of the humans I call ‘my social life’ have passed by in a blur. Not to mention all of that is exhausting.
Nourishing meaningful relationships of any kind demand of me the act of relinquishment. I have to turn it all over, let it all go. Just stop. Open myself to what is lying before me in real life. Listen to the sounds. Not with the demanding criteria of identifying its source and judging it (oh here we go: “why do people need to modify their cars to make so much noise?!”) From the hum of the traffic coming from over the trees across the canal on the highway half a mile away…as much as to hear it like the waves of the sea, sound for its own sake. The music of eternity.
I can see value in recollection (It is what I am doing now, to write this) but it is a discipline linked to accuracy. It is really stopping and taking store of what my experience truly is around nourishing others and what I can do, could do, can train myself to actually do…recollection does demand a relinquishment, an openness, with expectation! Not that I will get some token of reward like a cookie, but that I will encounter, that multitude of life forms will reveal beauty and wonder, and I can fall in love again.
Listening. Truly listen. With awareness. With acceptance. With compassion. Without judgement. With Love.
May all encounter some peace today.
Yes, dear Joseph, “Eyes to see and ears to hear” Or as Jesus says in John’s gospel, “Come (be with) and see.”