I could meet myself, my body’s needs, and my schedule with gentleness. I had a very strange schedule the last two nights in order to participate in long sessions of a committee meeting in Romania. I had hoped to go in person but federal sponsorship fell through. Time-shifting for the meetings on top of my regular work schedule meant I got very little sleep, about 4 hours Sunday night, 1-1/2 hours Monday night, 3-1/2 hours Tuesday morning. I woke up to a lot of “inbox fires” I had to deal with all day long.
It’s now Tuesday night. I’ve set down the adrenaline and the exhaustion has had a medicinal dose of dark chocolate and sofa time with the cat keeping my legs warm. The inbox fires have been put out, mostly with satisfactory results. I’m fortunate to have a great team to work with through all of this and a sweet husband who kept the French press full of hot coffee yesterday and today (and restocked the dark chocolate). I’ll go to bed soon and let myself sleep in if I can, and tomorrow I can resume my morning routine of poetry and coming to this space for a gentle start to a regular day.
As I sit here getting frustrated with myself for being anxious about going back to work tomorrow after time off, I came here to potentially help change my mindset. I could meet myself and the anxiety I’m feeling with gentleness rather than getting frustrated. I have perfectionist tendencies so it is always a good reminder to be gentle with myself and/or the situation I’m in.
An opportunity to meet something with gentleness.
I think there is always an opportunity
to meet something with gentleness-
from people to situations, to myself.
I have the opportunity to meet myself
each moment with tenderness
whether I am struggling or in flow.
Yes, Mary. One example I’ll include is social interactions. You don’t need to respond to everything, everyone, and all the time. I encourage caring for others, but please don’t give from an empty cup!
All of Life
is an opportunity to be met with gentleness.
We need gentleness now,
more than ever.
Changes are being made in our world with brute force,
with no thought at all
to the consequences that will be suffered
by the people who are impacted . . ..
cruelty
seems to be the order of the day.
Many people,
myself included,
feel they are being tossed about by an angry toddler.
It is up to us
to bring kindness and compassion back.
Violence and brutality
only beget more of the same.
On a positive note though,
gentleness
also begets more of the same,
so I am moving forward
with that intention in my heart
for every thing
and every one I meet,
including angry toddlers. ♥
I took a wonderful writing course last summer, on writing with tenderness. Perhaps as a writing exercise today I will have a conversation with gentleness (or tenderness – I am guessing they are friends!), and see what she has to say.
This being human really does feel like a Guest House, as Rumi describes. Perhaps today I will find the inner and outer resources to welcome and entertain each visitors that arrives, greet them at the door laughing, treat each one honourably, and practice being grateful. Maybe! 🙂 https://grateful.org/resource/guest-house-rumi/
There’s another opportunity this weekend to attend a similar conference as last weekend. If I can again unlearn dominating some conversations, and simply be a listener. I can also work on gently supporting a new leadership team versus critiquing what I think is being done wrong. (Letting them have their learning curve.)
I try to be gentle. Maybe not so gentle with myself. I think I am perceived as a gentle person. And maybe I’m too gentle with others that have chosen willful ignorance or aggressive selfishness over kindness and understanding and are willing, and maybe they feel it’s necessary, for others to suffer, so that they can continue to have their comfortable existence. Yes, there is gentleness and rage in me.
‘Yes, there is gentleness and rage in me’. Thank you, dear Charlie, for sharing this.
I am with Sparrow, that we all carry both. The invitation and challenge is what we do with each and the choices we make. In my experience, it is not always easy …
We are Life and for me that means every moment is an opportunity for gentleness. Whether we are in a situation that calls for firmness or softness, we can be gentle. May I become the gentleness I seek.
Love the reminder that we can be firmly gentle, gently firm, that gentleness doesn’t automatically equate to softness or a giving in when it shouldn’t.
I find that I have always wanted to be creative but felt like I wasn’t “enough” to do so. I see others’ artwork and be in such awe of it while I’m so critical of mine. For that reason, I find myself not trying because I feel like it’s not worthy. But as always, I am learning that thought isn’t truth and I am deserving of creating art, even “bad” art is better than doing nothing at all. As a result, i am wanting to make an effort to create more, whether that’s through writing poetry, learn a new zentangle pattern , or practicing the banjo. And to do so with more gentleness and kindness.
You CAN create,
dear Jenifer . . .
don’t be afraid.
Once you start
you will see.
Start with anything,
anything at all . . .
maybe with something that seems simple and dumb.
Remove the pressure . . .
you are doing this for yourself,
and no one else.
I have faith in you. ♥
Thank you for your post Jennifer. I appreciate that you shared this in this Méditation method that I have talked about numerous times here we work on a list of negative minds that all humans share there’s a list of 137 negative minds and each week we reflect on our journals and let go of each negative mind and this weeks negative mind was me who feels that I am lacking and or unqualified. So reflecting upon this and reading your post I agree with you because I also enjoy art and I feel like I’m not good enough that I don’t compare to many people and so therefore I shouldn’t do it at all, but this is not true. So our human mind is full of negativity and doubts and we cannot live a good life when we don’t let go of these thoughts that are untrue so more power to you and congratulations enjoy art.
Dear Jenifer, there is so much in this post.
First the feeling of not being enough.
I know that feeling well.
It is never helpful to feel that way.
I am always enough just as I am.
I am continuing to learn this.
Secondly heartfelt art is not bad art.
It is personal expression and it deserves respect.
Reading your post, Jenifer, has helped me recognize
that I am still dealing with the life negating message of -I am not enough.
This makes me hesitate, rather than wanting to try.
You wrote of this, and I really know that feeling.
But, now I want to start a new sketchbook
and draw something, anything in it, each day
A new message to myself:
Things can be easy Mary.
I don’t have to try so hard.
Just let go.
Or:
Lower the bar, accomplish more.
Thank you, Jenifer, for your vulnerable post.
I started out by speaking to you.
But in doing so, I was telling myself what I needed to hear.
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
Thank you Mary. I agree 100%. Let’s lower the bar and just enjoy life and start really going with the flow of nature and if it feels good just dance in the living room and if it feels good paint a picture and if it feels good just add something just for the pure joy of being able to do so be in nature’s flow and be happy. .
Jennifer, your words encourage me! I am surrounded by talented classical artists, including my husband. Me? Not even close! However, your words, “even bad art is better than doing nothing at all”, feel like freedom to me! I too need to be lighter with myself, more gentle. Thank you so much!🩷
My friend the art teacher has had her students begin by creating the worst, ugliest art they can think of … then going on to what they can really do. I use that little mental trick when practicing a presentation–saying it the worst way I can think of, then moving up to my level. Or writing the worst possible draft of a chapter, then bolding the words I like and trying again. This little “start bad” trick works tends to shake me out of self-doubt, wanted to share in case it’s useful for you too.
Yes, Jenifer, be kind and gentle toward yourself. Whether you want to grab the banjo, a paint brush or a pen, do it frequently and enjoy the process. Life is process not product. Plus, the more we do something, the better we get at it!
Admitting that I get migraines sometimes and rather than being proud and running away from them I can change this habit.
I can change and learn how to be gentle with myself and stop running away from my past memories. I’m no longer a little or baby who was left alone with strangers or left with others not knowing if I’ll ever get picked up by my mom.
You see now that I have been meditating with the method of letting go of my mind world- which is only a picture, I see that I am just what today’s quote is . I’m nature- we are all the universe emptiness and to live forever we have to let go and become freedom itself.
I’m so grateful to this method and the pain is finally starting to lift and with it always comes more clarity.
I think the great zen master Thay said it best – something like – no mud no lotus 🪷.
Thank you lovelies for helping and supporting me .
Hugs 🤗
My theme here is endurance. I’m training for an endurance sports event, and I feel enthusiastic, anxious, and insecure about it. I could see how my nerves would drive me to overtrain, and meeting my training with gentleness would help. Also, I’m wrapping up a work project that is arduous and out of my area of interest. I grow despondent, but am committed to doing my best. I can be gentle with myself during this different kind of endurance challenge too.
It is a fine line isn’t it Drea? Training enough and not overtraining. Your feelings all signal a true adventure. I am interested in what event you are training for? Go get it!🩷
Like Yram, there are plenty of opportunities. There are two that stick out for me are. One is dealing with my stepdaughter and her fierce attachment to my husband. The second is being more loving to myself about my relationship with money. I don’t need more details. I know what I need to do. It’s good to have the reminder.
Spring is beginning to show itself slowly in northern MI. Our backyard is all perennials, and can be very warm on a sunny day, even in March. Tulips and daffodils are up 3-4”. Our neighborhood rabbit population is abundant! And they love those fresh green sprouts. They can really get my Irish up! So I am wondering 2 things. Can I meet those bunnies with more of light-hearted approach, and what might happen if I do? I am curious enough to attempt a shift in my approach. Stay tuned!🩷
Wow! northern MI. It must be cold there!
Good luck to you with the bunnies.
I can imagine how trying that must be.
Are the bunnies cute?
Just wondering.
Your bunnies remind me of the insects in Florida.
And they are never cute.
If you choose to be organic, you have to know what you are doing.
When it comes to ornamentals, go native.
Here,
dear Mary,
we have rabbits, squirrels,
ground hogs and deer.
With the flowers,
I put down milorganite,
which sometimes works.
We finally had to fence the vegetable beds in,
as everything was getting eaten.
This will be the first full year with it,
but I think our produce might survive.
ps. Sometimes
I put out some treats for the would-be marauders.
Good luck. ♥
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I could meet myself, my body’s needs, and my schedule with gentleness. I had a very strange schedule the last two nights in order to participate in long sessions of a committee meeting in Romania. I had hoped to go in person but federal sponsorship fell through. Time-shifting for the meetings on top of my regular work schedule meant I got very little sleep, about 4 hours Sunday night, 1-1/2 hours Monday night, 3-1/2 hours Tuesday morning. I woke up to a lot of “inbox fires” I had to deal with all day long.
It’s now Tuesday night. I’ve set down the adrenaline and the exhaustion has had a medicinal dose of dark chocolate and sofa time with the cat keeping my legs warm. The inbox fires have been put out, mostly with satisfactory results. I’m fortunate to have a great team to work with through all of this and a sweet husband who kept the French press full of hot coffee yesterday and today (and restocked the dark chocolate). I’ll go to bed soon and let myself sleep in if I can, and tomorrow I can resume my morning routine of poetry and coming to this space for a gentle start to a regular day.
Wow! That was a lot! Rest well! ♥️
As I sit here getting frustrated with myself for being anxious about going back to work tomorrow after time off, I came here to potentially help change my mindset. I could meet myself and the anxiety I’m feeling with gentleness rather than getting frustrated. I have perfectionist tendencies so it is always a good reminder to be gentle with myself and/or the situation I’m in.
Great catch, Taylor. You’ve come to the right place.
I hope
that visiting this place,
dear Worth,
helps you with setting your compass
for returning back to work. ♥
An opportunity to meet something with gentleness.
I think there is always an opportunity
to meet something with gentleness-
from people to situations, to myself.
I have the opportunity to meet myself
each moment with tenderness
whether I am struggling or in flow.
Yes, Mary. One example I’ll include is social interactions. You don’t need to respond to everything, everyone, and all the time. I encourage caring for others, but please don’t give from an empty cup!
I agree!
All of Life
is an opportunity to be met with gentleness.
We need gentleness now,
more than ever.
Changes are being made in our world with brute force,
with no thought at all
to the consequences that will be suffered
by the people who are impacted . . ..
cruelty
seems to be the order of the day.
Many people,
myself included,
feel they are being tossed about by an angry toddler.
It is up to us
to bring kindness and compassion back.
Violence and brutality
only beget more of the same.
On a positive note though,
gentleness
also begets more of the same,
so I am moving forward
with that intention in my heart
for every thing
and every one I meet,
including angry toddlers. ♥
Those “angry toddlers” can certainly be troublesome, dear Sparrow.
They certainly can,
dear Joseph . . . 🙂
Especially the Big Ones who are in charge. 🫤
🙂
I am currently without internet since we are finally moved into our new home!!! Hope to get connected in the next day or so
Wonderful! I know you’ve been looking forward to this and send blessings for your new home.
Bright Blessings in your new home Robin Ann 🙂
Congratulations, Robin Ann. 🩷
Glad you have made in your new home Robin Ann.
That’s great,
dear Robin Ann! ♥
Congratulations.
I took a wonderful writing course last summer, on writing with tenderness. Perhaps as a writing exercise today I will have a conversation with gentleness (or tenderness – I am guessing they are friends!), and see what she has to say.
This being human really does feel like a Guest House, as Rumi describes. Perhaps today I will find the inner and outer resources to welcome and entertain each visitors that arrives, greet them at the door laughing, treat each one honourably, and practice being grateful. Maybe! 🙂 https://grateful.org/resource/guest-house-rumi/
Best for a beautiful day, all …
“Writing with tenderness”. What an absolutely lovely notion, K C. Thank you for this idea.🩷
Thank you, KC.
I think this poem
is a new favorite,
dear K C . . .
thank you for posting it. ♥
That poem is a favorite of mine too!
There’s another opportunity this weekend to attend a similar conference as last weekend. If I can again unlearn dominating some conversations, and simply be a listener. I can also work on gently supporting a new leadership team versus critiquing what I think is being done wrong. (Letting them have their learning curve.)
I try to be gentle. Maybe not so gentle with myself. I think I am perceived as a gentle person. And maybe I’m too gentle with others that have chosen willful ignorance or aggressive selfishness over kindness and understanding and are willing, and maybe they feel it’s necessary, for others to suffer, so that they can continue to have their comfortable existence. Yes, there is gentleness and rage in me.
‘Yes, there is gentleness and rage in me’. Thank you, dear Charlie, for sharing this.
I am with Sparrow, that we all carry both. The invitation and challenge is what we do with each and the choices we make. In my experience, it is not always easy …
I think,
dear Charlie,
that we all carry both gentleness and rage
within us . . .
what matters
is what we do with them,
don’t you think? ♥
We are Life and for me that means every moment is an opportunity for gentleness. Whether we are in a situation that calls for firmness or softness, we can be gentle. May I become the gentleness I seek.
Carol and All, I think “gentleness” may be my new favorite approach. Your wisdom and experiences are so appreciated.🩷
Love the reminder that we can be firmly gentle, gently firm, that gentleness doesn’t automatically equate to softness or a giving in when it shouldn’t.
Thank you for this, Carol. 🙏
I find that I have always wanted to be creative but felt like I wasn’t “enough” to do so. I see others’ artwork and be in such awe of it while I’m so critical of mine. For that reason, I find myself not trying because I feel like it’s not worthy. But as always, I am learning that thought isn’t truth and I am deserving of creating art, even “bad” art is better than doing nothing at all. As a result, i am wanting to make an effort to create more, whether that’s through writing poetry, learn a new zentangle pattern , or practicing the banjo. And to do so with more gentleness and kindness.
You CAN create,
dear Jenifer . . .
don’t be afraid.
Once you start
you will see.
Start with anything,
anything at all . . .
maybe with something that seems simple and dumb.
Remove the pressure . . .
you are doing this for yourself,
and no one else.
I have faith in you. ♥
Thank you for your post Jennifer. I appreciate that you shared this in this Méditation method that I have talked about numerous times here we work on a list of negative minds that all humans share there’s a list of 137 negative minds and each week we reflect on our journals and let go of each negative mind and this weeks negative mind was me who feels that I am lacking and or unqualified. So reflecting upon this and reading your post I agree with you because I also enjoy art and I feel like I’m not good enough that I don’t compare to many people and so therefore I shouldn’t do it at all, but this is not true. So our human mind is full of negativity and doubts and we cannot live a good life when we don’t let go of these thoughts that are untrue so more power to you and congratulations enjoy art.
Dear Jenifer, there is so much in this post.
First the feeling of not being enough.
I know that feeling well.
It is never helpful to feel that way.
I am always enough just as I am.
I am continuing to learn this.
Secondly heartfelt art is not bad art.
It is personal expression and it deserves respect.
Reading your post, Jenifer, has helped me recognize
that I am still dealing with the life negating message of -I am not enough.
This makes me hesitate, rather than wanting to try.
You wrote of this, and I really know that feeling.
But, now I want to start a new sketchbook
and draw something, anything in it, each day
A new message to myself:
Things can be easy Mary.
I don’t have to try so hard.
Just let go.
Or:
Lower the bar, accomplish more.
Thank you, Jenifer, for your vulnerable post.
I started out by speaking to you.
But in doing so, I was telling myself what I needed to hear.
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
”Thank you, Jenifer, for your vulnerable post.
I started out by speaking to you.
But in doing so, I was telling myself what I needed to hear.”
This is often true for me as well,
dear Mary . . .
thank you for pointing this out. ♥
Thank you Mary. I agree 100%. Let’s lower the bar and just enjoy life and start really going with the flow of nature and if it feels good just dance in the living room and if it feels good paint a picture and if it feels good just add something just for the pure joy of being able to do so be in nature’s flow and be happy. .
Jennifer, your words encourage me! I am surrounded by talented classical artists, including my husband. Me? Not even close! However, your words, “even bad art is better than doing nothing at all”, feel like freedom to me! I too need to be lighter with myself, more gentle. Thank you so much!🩷
My friend the art teacher has had her students begin by creating the worst, ugliest art they can think of … then going on to what they can really do. I use that little mental trick when practicing a presentation–saying it the worst way I can think of, then moving up to my level. Or writing the worst possible draft of a chapter, then bolding the words I like and trying again. This little “start bad” trick works tends to shake me out of self-doubt, wanted to share in case it’s useful for you too.
Love the start bad trick!
How freeing! No reason to hold back!
Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird calls this the “shitty first draft.” Get it done, get it on the page and out of your head, then you can move on.
Yep, it works too.
Yes, Jenifer, be kind and gentle toward yourself. Whether you want to grab the banjo, a paint brush or a pen, do it frequently and enjoy the process. Life is process not product. Plus, the more we do something, the better we get at it!
Yay!!!
Admitting that I get migraines sometimes and rather than being proud and running away from them I can change this habit.
I can change and learn how to be gentle with myself and stop running away from my past memories. I’m no longer a little or baby who was left alone with strangers or left with others not knowing if I’ll ever get picked up by my mom.
You see now that I have been meditating with the method of letting go of my mind world- which is only a picture, I see that I am just what today’s quote is . I’m nature- we are all the universe emptiness and to live forever we have to let go and become freedom itself.
I’m so grateful to this method and the pain is finally starting to lift and with it always comes more clarity.
I think the great zen master Thay said it best – something like – no mud no lotus 🪷.
Thank you lovelies for helping and supporting me .
Hugs 🤗
No mud, no lotus 🪷
Love this!!!!
Me too Mary ! So now we can know that all the “hard times” are good fertiliser! 🙌🌱
You are something special, Antoinette.🩷
Thank you sweet Mary . 💓
My mind world is only a picture…..thank you for reminding me of this.
Lauren , thank you ☺️ too . Hugs let’s be here and let go together.
Antoinette, Your post made me smile and yes, “no mud no lotus.” Another quote whose author escapes me is “You have to love fear to death.”
My theme here is endurance. I’m training for an endurance sports event, and I feel enthusiastic, anxious, and insecure about it. I could see how my nerves would drive me to overtrain, and meeting my training with gentleness would help. Also, I’m wrapping up a work project that is arduous and out of my area of interest. I grow despondent, but am committed to doing my best. I can be gentle with myself during this different kind of endurance challenge too.
It is a fine line isn’t it Drea? Training enough and not overtraining. Your feelings all signal a true adventure. I am interested in what event you are training for? Go get it!🩷
Thanks Mary! It’s an Olympic distance triathlon. Definitely a new adventure for me.
Whoa!!!
So great!!!
Drea, You go girl!
Thank you Carol!
Like Yram, there are plenty of opportunities. There are two that stick out for me are. One is dealing with my stepdaughter and her fierce attachment to my husband. The second is being more loving to myself about my relationship with money. I don’t need more details. I know what I need to do. It’s good to have the reminder.
HANG IN THERE GENTLY!
There are plenty of opportunities. It is my response that needs to be worked on. A teaspoon of sugar is better than 2 teaspoons of vinegar.
Yes!!
Spring is beginning to show itself slowly in northern MI. Our backyard is all perennials, and can be very warm on a sunny day, even in March. Tulips and daffodils are up 3-4”. Our neighborhood rabbit population is abundant! And they love those fresh green sprouts. They can really get my Irish up! So I am wondering 2 things. Can I meet those bunnies with more of light-hearted approach, and what might happen if I do? I am curious enough to attempt a shift in my approach. Stay tuned!🩷
Wow! northern MI. It must be cold there!
Good luck to you with the bunnies.
I can imagine how trying that must be.
Are the bunnies cute?
Just wondering.
Your bunnies remind me of the insects in Florida.
And they are never cute.
If you choose to be organic, you have to know what you are doing.
When it comes to ornamentals, go native.
Here,
dear Mary,
we have rabbits, squirrels,
ground hogs and deer.
With the flowers,
I put down milorganite,
which sometimes works.
We finally had to fence the vegetable beds in,
as everything was getting eaten.
This will be the first full year with it,
but I think our produce might survive.
ps. Sometimes
I put out some treats for the would-be marauders.
Good luck. ♥
Thanks so much, Sparrow. I am trying a new discouraging scent this season. It is called Rabbit Scram! We shall see.🩷
Oof, here it’s the squirrels. They’re everywhere! Definitely a practice in patience and persistence. Good luck Mary.
Thank you, Drea.🩷