Accomplishing something
has always been a trigger for me . . .
if I do something,
or get something done
I feel like I’ve been productive.
I don’t know if I’ve always been that way,
but I have been
for at least the last 20 years or so.
I am driven,
it seems,
to make up for ‘lost’ time,
the wasted years,
and now that I am older,
I don’t have the stamina to do it like I used to,
which was not a very good way to work with passion and fury anyway.
Now I do everything
with much more presence,
whereas before,
I would skim through everything
with an eye on the goal.
I do my tasks now
in a much healthier way,
but it takes so l-o-o-o-n-g
and I don’t get as much done
in a life where there is much to do.
I keep thinking that soon
we’ll be done with the work on restoring our house,
and spring comes,
and I spend my days in the garden,
neglecting the house,
which creates a viscous cycle . . .
by fall,
the house is a disaster,
full of cobwebs and dust bunnies and cat hair.
I simply can’t keep up.
I could
if I didn’t need to take breaks.
If I did
I’d be sitting in the chaise lounge
reading my book by now.
Have I,
as everyone tells me,
bitten of more than I can chew,
while everyone else of my age
is downsizing?
I love my house,
my home, my gardens.
Have I purchased them too late in life to be a joy
rather than a burden?
Oh please, don’t let this be a bitter joke upon a girl
who believed too late
that something good could grow from this pot of seeds.
I’m scared to death that I can’t do it.♥
I can relate to this, Sparrow. My house is bigger than we need, and it’s a two story house. We almost moved about a year ago, but I really didn’t want to, and we ended up staying. Like you, I love my house. I like having lots of room. Staying in this house requires simplifying I think.
Having someone come in and help with the cleaning once or twice a month would also be nice.
♥️
I can’t afford to have someone come in and help clean,
dear Mary..
I did have some help in the gardens for a couple of years,
but that doesn’t seem possible anymore.
I love that you care though,
and will hold hope in my heart
that everything will work out in the end. ♥
I definitely have no problem hibernating lately and going to bed early on the shortest days of the year!
I do seem to wake up once for a period of time but eventually fall back to sleep thank goodness!
On the other hand 2 coworkers are out so there is no rest for the weary as far as work wise!
I am recovering from having Covid a few weeks ago. I have had Covid once before and both times I have slept through most of it. I truly did rest. I was so tired and knew I had Covid, so I didn’t make any plans to accomplish anything. So I rested with no guilt or anxiety and I completely gave myself over to the rest.
Something I realized after resting so much, was that since I retired, I have continued to put expectations on myself to accomplish many things, but especially because I no longer work outside the home, I really can back off all this pressure. Dropping the pressure I put on myself during my working years would also have been helpful, but that is in the past, so I cannot change that now. But now, in the present moment I can be less of a human doing and more of a human being. Since realizing this, I have been able to enjoy quiet time more, feel more relaxed, and also to feel more accepting of myself.
Completely giving yourself over to the rest – that part sounds lovely! Glad you are recovering and thinking about your being rather than your doing. I think I’ll do the same for myself 🙂
No we haven’t gotten shots since the first shot and then the booster were available. We will get Covid shots again either in 3 or 4 months or next fall. I don’t like getting Covid (I guess nobody does). Also my husband gets really sick with it.
In the past couple of weeks, I have been catching up on sleep. It has been a much needed break. It’s not as if I’m doing nothing, I’m still working and doing things around the house. I’m just not waking up at 04:30 and driving to a job that’s often 2hrs away.
I do have a hard time with feelings of guilt, for not filling up that time and being productive.
I too,
struggle with this,
dear Charlie,
partly at least
because I don’t have the energy I used to.
My advice to both of us . . .
toss the guilt away
and don’t look back. ♥
Yesterday morning. I gave myself permission to stay in bed for most of the morning. I sipped my coffee, read my prayer books, meditated & lounged.
For the last few weeks I have been fighting a stubborn cold, sinus bug. I have been going, going & yesterday was the 1st day I did not have to be anywhere so I paused. It felt so good.
I hope to slow down this weekend too.
Happy Tuesday All. 🙏🏻
🕊️♥️
Rest, a moment of stillness and calm. I think we all know what it is like when our body needs to stop but it is the mind that is so very hard to still. I am definitely in the winter of my life and I’ve learned much on my journey but must admit that my mind is seldom at rest. I like today’s quote from Richard Rohr, “Prayer is sitting in silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful.” In Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, the word prayer is defined as “being open.” I would interpret that as “willingness.” As I have shared here many times before: My job is Willingness. So to truly rest, I have to trust–to be open and willing today and everyday I am given. Today’s question asks “When is the last time I gave myself PERMISSION to truly rest?” Ah, the word PERMISSION reminds me that it begins and ends with nurturing the relationship I have with myself!
As someone who loves being around others and spending time with loved ones, I have to be mindful to not overstretch myself. There’s been weeks where I would say yes to every invite and hangout, but I slowly start to feel resentment towards myself for not scheduling alone time. With this holiday weekend, I am wanting to catch up on me time. And for that, I am grateful. 🧡🙏🏽
Jennifer, I’m the opposite, but we share the same root. My response to Ngoc and my answer already explain much of it. The formula is straight forward. What one of us needs more of is what the other one is already doing.
I have a couple nieces over today and for Christmas Day into Friday. Waverly is 9 years old. Harper is 7. Today, Ngoc and I will be going to KFC with them. Spending more time with kids will help me get out of the office and take off that suit and tie. Kids have a way of just getting us out of our heads with their energy.
That explains why children are closer to god. They live simply. Adults have too much: egos, greed, and inner conflicts.
Since the Fall semester has ended, I am truly allowing myself to have real time for rest. I no longer have to worry about homework deadlines. This three-week break is a huge benefit for me to recharge for the upcoming Spring semester. Happy Tuesday to everyone!
My Ngoc, even just a few days in, I can already tell you’re a different person with a recharged soul. Same with me being able to move closer to my heart. As I said from my answer, politics and business are exhausting which goes for anything relating to the head and concerning protection. With that being said, our answers align.
Last Friday, Peter and I had 2 couples in the neighborhood for what we call a “simple soup supper”. Everything was ready by mid afternoon, so I took a luxurious 20 minute nap. A rested host is a gift to your company.😉
It’s interesting to me that many people will say, “Oh, I could never take a nap.” The reference is that it is a weakness. I am so grateful that as an experienced napper, my experience has been different.♥️
It was just yesterday. Ngoc being on a 3-week winter break certainly helps me rest more often. It takes a lot of pressure off my mind. I can be a person easier rather than a politician. I got into backstage politics and business ventures in the first place all to protect myself from my root people babying and steering me in an undesirable direction even out of goodwill.
More quality time with Ngoc after last Friday being her last day of the fall semester, helped me stumble upon the intersectionality technique mentioned from my answer yesterday during our pillow talk from a couple mornings ago. This will serve me well moving forward. More trust in my root people means less reliance on business ventures and backstage politics. After all, god put people into our lives for a reason. God having our best interest at heart should be enough for confirmation.
Owning up to my mistakes and learning from them have always been my strengths. This means that my quarterly goal mentioned from yesterday of taking responsibility has been successfully accomplished for the purpose. The goal may return another time, but for now, it’s complete.
I have such bad insomnia that this is such a timely question for me. I am looking forward to being off for xmas eve and xmas and then the upcoming weekend.
I know insomnia is so hard, Michelle. I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. I’ve been having trouble getting to sleep at night on and off for the last few months. It certainly isn’t fun. Sending love, Mary
I was forced to give myself permission to rest when I was sick all last week. It was a good reminder for me, as I am such a do-er. The week prior, I picked up extra teaching jobs, covered for other who were not feeling well at the studio desk, had my own regular schedule, and was doing all of this running around in freezing cold weather. I generally get a decent night’s sleep, but the sleep was not enough. I was not taking time to pause, and boy did my body let me know! When you are sick, you really have no choice but to do what is needed – rest. And even though it came with stuffy sinuses, coughing and the worst headaches I’ve had in a long time, the resting part was really nice. I lounged around, took lots of naps, did some reading, and really caught up on what my body needed. I’m so grateful to feel healthy and well again, but I am going to remember as the days continue to take time for some sacred pauses. I hope that you all do as well 🙏🏼
This fluorouracil treatment I began three weeks ago gave me much time to rest. A person needs to stay out of the sun. The sun is prevalent in my work place. I have only done essential things outside, in the early day and early evening in the shade. Our home is situated in a cove of cottonwoods, and during the days of long shadows I was able to break up my time outside. Rest was a bit elusive. The discomfort level of my face increased with each day of treatment. But stay inside I have. May all enjoy rest when needed. Peace & Love.
Rest is difficult for me because I have a mind of accomplishments and doing minds . Of course this is attachments deeply related to pride . I appreciate today’s quote very much .
Prayer is sitting in silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful.
When I meditate or pray as it’s called here I can see all of these false thoughts full of judgments. I’m trykt grateful that I have the time and recourses to devote to surrendering.
Rest what is it ? Being able to rest my mind is what would truly give me rest . So now I’m looking at self love and what that means . I don’t really know what it is and it’s now time to dis- cover what LOVE is. Thank you .
Antoinette, For me LOVE is willingness. I, too, was raised with the admonition that if I wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t be loved. It’s like a tatoo on one’s brain and heart that demands performance. Thankfully, I have come to the realization that Life is process not product. I don’t have to produce anything. I just have to be here NOW. To pray is to be open–be willing to be an instrument of the flow. Be still an Know.
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Accomplishing something
has always been a trigger for me . . .
if I do something,
or get something done
I feel like I’ve been productive.
I don’t know if I’ve always been that way,
but I have been
for at least the last 20 years or so.
I am driven,
it seems,
to make up for ‘lost’ time,
the wasted years,
and now that I am older,
I don’t have the stamina to do it like I used to,
which was not a very good way to work with passion and fury anyway.
Now I do everything
with much more presence,
whereas before,
I would skim through everything
with an eye on the goal.
I do my tasks now
in a much healthier way,
but it takes so l-o-o-o-n-g
and I don’t get as much done
in a life where there is much to do.
I keep thinking that soon
we’ll be done with the work on restoring our house,
and spring comes,
and I spend my days in the garden,
neglecting the house,
which creates a viscous cycle . . .
by fall,
the house is a disaster,
full of cobwebs and dust bunnies and cat hair.
I simply can’t keep up.
I could
if I didn’t need to take breaks.
If I did
I’d be sitting in the chaise lounge
reading my book by now.
Have I,
as everyone tells me,
bitten of more than I can chew,
while everyone else of my age
is downsizing?
I love my house,
my home, my gardens.
Have I purchased them too late in life to be a joy
rather than a burden?
Oh please, don’t let this be a bitter joke upon a girl
who believed too late
that something good could grow from this pot of seeds.
I’m scared to death that I can’t do it.♥
I can relate to this, Sparrow. My house is bigger than we need, and it’s a two story house. We almost moved about a year ago, but I really didn’t want to, and we ended up staying. Like you, I love my house. I like having lots of room. Staying in this house requires simplifying I think.
Having someone come in and help with the cleaning once or twice a month would also be nice.
♥️
I can’t afford to have someone come in and help clean,
dear Mary..
I did have some help in the gardens for a couple of years,
but that doesn’t seem possible anymore.
I love that you care though,
and will hold hope in my heart
that everything will work out in the end. ♥
I definitely have no problem hibernating lately and going to bed early on the shortest days of the year!
I do seem to wake up once for a period of time but eventually fall back to sleep thank goodness!
On the other hand 2 coworkers are out so there is no rest for the weary as far as work wise!
I am recovering from having Covid a few weeks ago. I have had Covid once before and both times I have slept through most of it. I truly did rest. I was so tired and knew I had Covid, so I didn’t make any plans to accomplish anything. So I rested with no guilt or anxiety and I completely gave myself over to the rest.
Something I realized after resting so much, was that since I retired, I have continued to put expectations on myself to accomplish many things, but especially because I no longer work outside the home, I really can back off all this pressure. Dropping the pressure I put on myself during my working years would also have been helpful, but that is in the past, so I cannot change that now. But now, in the present moment I can be less of a human doing and more of a human being. Since realizing this, I have been able to enjoy quiet time more, feel more relaxed, and also to feel more accepting of myself.
Completely giving yourself over to the rest – that part sounds lovely! Glad you are recovering and thinking about your being rather than your doing. I think I’ll do the same for myself 🙂
My son said a co-worker has covid. Did you have a covid shot? I had a flu shot this year and got sick so I am not anxious to get a covid shot
No we haven’t gotten shots since the first shot and then the booster were available. We will get Covid shots again either in 3 or 4 months or next fall. I don’t like getting Covid (I guess nobody does). Also my husband gets really sick with it.
That’s wonderful,
dear Mary . . .
something I aspire to. ♥
ps. I am happy you are feeling better.
In the past couple of weeks, I have been catching up on sleep. It has been a much needed break. It’s not as if I’m doing nothing, I’m still working and doing things around the house. I’m just not waking up at 04:30 and driving to a job that’s often 2hrs away.
I do have a hard time with feelings of guilt, for not filling up that time and being productive.
Winter time is a time to slow down ☺️
I too,
struggle with this,
dear Charlie,
partly at least
because I don’t have the energy I used to.
My advice to both of us . . .
toss the guilt away
and don’t look back. ♥
Charlie, I too am a product of our high productivity culture. We have put a lot of pressure on ourselves, haven’t we.
Yesterday morning. I gave myself permission to stay in bed for most of the morning. I sipped my coffee, read my prayer books, meditated & lounged.
For the last few weeks I have been fighting a stubborn cold, sinus bug. I have been going, going & yesterday was the 1st day I did not have to be anywhere so I paused. It felt so good.
I hope to slow down this weekend too.
Happy Tuesday All. 🙏🏻
🕊️♥️
Yesterday morning sounds wonderful!
We deserve these relaxing times. ♥️
Three days ago. It felt amazing.
I’m happy for you, Drea. ♥️
Thanks Mary. Glad you’re feeling better.
Rest, a moment of stillness and calm. I think we all know what it is like when our body needs to stop but it is the mind that is so very hard to still. I am definitely in the winter of my life and I’ve learned much on my journey but must admit that my mind is seldom at rest. I like today’s quote from Richard Rohr, “Prayer is sitting in silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful.” In Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, the word prayer is defined as “being open.” I would interpret that as “willingness.” As I have shared here many times before: My job is Willingness. So to truly rest, I have to trust–to be open and willing today and everyday I am given. Today’s question asks “When is the last time I gave myself PERMISSION to truly rest?” Ah, the word PERMISSION reminds me that it begins and ends with nurturing the relationship I have with myself!
I really love today’s quote too, Carol Ann! ♥️
As someone who loves being around others and spending time with loved ones, I have to be mindful to not overstretch myself. There’s been weeks where I would say yes to every invite and hangout, but I slowly start to feel resentment towards myself for not scheduling alone time. With this holiday weekend, I am wanting to catch up on me time. And for that, I am grateful. 🧡🙏🏽
I hear you and I relate.
Jennifer, I’m the opposite, but we share the same root. My response to Ngoc and my answer already explain much of it. The formula is straight forward. What one of us needs more of is what the other one is already doing.
I have a couple nieces over today and for Christmas Day into Friday. Waverly is 9 years old. Harper is 7. Today, Ngoc and I will be going to KFC with them. Spending more time with kids will help me get out of the office and take off that suit and tie. Kids have a way of just getting us out of our heads with their energy.
That explains why children are closer to god. They live simply. Adults have too much: egos, greed, and inner conflicts.
Enjoy that wonderful time with your nieces, Loc.
Since the Fall semester has ended, I am truly allowing myself to have real time for rest. I no longer have to worry about homework deadlines. This three-week break is a huge benefit for me to recharge for the upcoming Spring semester. Happy Tuesday to everyone!
Peace and love, dear NGOC
Enjoy your three week break,
dear Ngoc . . .
you’ve worked very hard
and you deserve it. ♥
My Ngoc, even just a few days in, I can already tell you’re a different person with a recharged soul. Same with me being able to move closer to my heart. As I said from my answer, politics and business are exhausting which goes for anything relating to the head and concerning protection. With that being said, our answers align.
Last Friday, Peter and I had 2 couples in the neighborhood for what we call a “simple soup supper”. Everything was ready by mid afternoon, so I took a luxurious 20 minute nap. A rested host is a gift to your company.😉
It’s interesting to me that many people will say, “Oh, I could never take a nap.” The reference is that it is a weakness. I am so grateful that as an experienced napper, my experience has been different.♥️
Naps are the best!
Amen, Deann.♥️
I know a woman in her early 40’s, who refers to her ability as being a “competitive napper”. It takes practice to reach that level!
What a great term, thanks Joseph.
It’s funny, when people say “I can’t take a nap,” I see that as a sign they’re too nervous to relax. So … also a weakness haha.
😉
🙂
Mary Mantei, I love 20 minute naps!
Aren’t they powerful, Carol Ann?
It was just yesterday. Ngoc being on a 3-week winter break certainly helps me rest more often. It takes a lot of pressure off my mind. I can be a person easier rather than a politician. I got into backstage politics and business ventures in the first place all to protect myself from my root people babying and steering me in an undesirable direction even out of goodwill.
More quality time with Ngoc after last Friday being her last day of the fall semester, helped me stumble upon the intersectionality technique mentioned from my answer yesterday during our pillow talk from a couple mornings ago. This will serve me well moving forward. More trust in my root people means less reliance on business ventures and backstage politics. After all, god put people into our lives for a reason. God having our best interest at heart should be enough for confirmation.
Owning up to my mistakes and learning from them have always been my strengths. This means that my quarterly goal mentioned from yesterday of taking responsibility has been successfully accomplished for the purpose. The goal may return another time, but for now, it’s complete.
I have such bad insomnia that this is such a timely question for me. I am looking forward to being off for xmas eve and xmas and then the upcoming weekend.
Me too,
lately,
dear Michele . . .
if you find the magic cure,
let me know. ♥
I know insomnia is so hard, Michelle. I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. I’ve been having trouble getting to sleep at night on and off for the last few months. It certainly isn’t fun. Sending love, Mary
Michele, I like Mary Mantei’s answer about 20 minute naps. May you have many of those over this holiday weekend. Big hug coming your way!
Michele, that’s the best part about the holidays. More time for rest.
I was forced to give myself permission to rest when I was sick all last week. It was a good reminder for me, as I am such a do-er. The week prior, I picked up extra teaching jobs, covered for other who were not feeling well at the studio desk, had my own regular schedule, and was doing all of this running around in freezing cold weather. I generally get a decent night’s sleep, but the sleep was not enough. I was not taking time to pause, and boy did my body let me know! When you are sick, you really have no choice but to do what is needed – rest. And even though it came with stuffy sinuses, coughing and the worst headaches I’ve had in a long time, the resting part was really nice. I lounged around, took lots of naps, did some reading, and really caught up on what my body needed. I’m so grateful to feel healthy and well again, but I am going to remember as the days continue to take time for some sacred pauses. I hope that you all do as well 🙏🏼
Patti, Glad you are feeling better and giving yourself permission to rest.
Thank you, Carol. I am reminding myself of this permission by sharing it with my students in hopes that we all remember to rest.
This fluorouracil treatment I began three weeks ago gave me much time to rest. A person needs to stay out of the sun. The sun is prevalent in my work place. I have only done essential things outside, in the early day and early evening in the shade. Our home is situated in a cove of cottonwoods, and during the days of long shadows I was able to break up my time outside. Rest was a bit elusive. The discomfort level of my face increased with each day of treatment. But stay inside I have. May all enjoy rest when needed. Peace & Love.
I hope the worst is over,
dear Joseph,
and that you’ll be happy
with your baby-fresh new skin. 🙂
Joseph, I hope the treatment has been helpful and that your holiday will be restful and rejuvenating.
Rest is difficult for me because I have a mind of accomplishments and doing minds . Of course this is attachments deeply related to pride . I appreciate today’s quote very much .
Prayer is sitting in silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful.
When I meditate or pray as it’s called here I can see all of these false thoughts full of judgments. I’m trykt grateful that I have the time and recourses to devote to surrendering.
Rest what is it ? Being able to rest my mind is what would truly give me rest . So now I’m looking at self love and what that means . I don’t really know what it is and it’s now time to dis- cover what LOVE is. Thank you .
Antoinette, For me LOVE is willingness. I, too, was raised with the admonition that if I wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t be loved. It’s like a tatoo on one’s brain and heart that demands performance. Thankfully, I have come to the realization that Life is process not product. I don’t have to produce anything. I just have to be here NOW. To pray is to be open–be willing to be an instrument of the flow. Be still an Know.
💓