I can remember as a child when my perspective was not shifted in a healthy way and it took many years of counseling, reading helpful books and sharing with others in a variety of community groups to shift my perspective from one of black and white to one of grey, from one of “me” to “we,” from one of fear to love. I would say that everyone I have encountered did not necessarily shift my point of view but many broadened it and challenged it in healthy ways.
I had been in therapy for one of life’s traumas,
and my therapist
connected me with many great thinkers,
including Meister Eckhart,
Thomas Merton,
Cyprian Smith,
Charlotte Joko Beck,
Ram Dass, Stephen Levine,
and many others.
I found healing through their writings,
but it didn’t click into place.
Later,
on my own,
I found the writings of Eckhart Tolle,
and it clicked . . .
it’s not that he was saying anything different from the others,
but he said it in a way that I got.
Of course
I’ve gone back and immersed myself in the others,
and my understanding has filled out and deepened . . .
and embedded these truths in my psyche.
It has changed my life forever . . .
now,
I not only believe in truth,
but I live it as well.
There are stumbling blocks
(and always will be,
as I’m not done yet),
but I know what to work on now.
I am no longer
a lonely bird on a dark sea . . .
I have guideposts.
Thank you for your moving post, dear Sparrow. To integrate the loss of a child is probably one of the most difficult things to face, and to open up to the shift you describe to living truth and be open to and resonate with the wisdom and truth of the many you named and not named is very much inspiring to trust and to take a step also now. Thank you dearly🙏❤️🙏
It took me many years,
dear Ose,
and a lot of pain and anguish,
and still,
I am changed.
I know you too,
have been through the fire in your own life,
so I thank you for your kind hand
reaching out
with love . . . ♥
The first thing that comes to mind is my learning over the years about the forms of privilege I have and the implications for those who don’t have the same privilege. I read, listen, and speak differently as a result. Instead of accepting something as a given, I ask whose views and experiences weren’t included in developing whatever the statement or decision is. I’m sure I still miss things but paying attention to what and who isn’t represented has broadened my point of view. I appreciate the learning and will keep on expanding my point of view.
Ideally I would credit the many teachers I’ve met along the way. I can’t think of all of them but will name a few, mostly from somewhere in the realm of transportation policy because that’s where I’ve worked the past dozen years. Tamika Butler, Veronica O. Davis, Samantha Ollinger, Adonia Lugo, Anna Zivarts, Charles T. Brown, Olatunji Oboi Reed, and many many more.
Recently, it was an eye opener to me what Simone mentioned yesterday and i am deeply grateful for your contribution, dear friend.
“… modern neuroscience. Knowing that our brains are designed not for happiness but for survival. We must remember negative things for our survival but the good slips by easily unnoticed. Thats why we have to be so intentional in how we train and place our attention.
Where attention goes energy flows. Being attentive to the beauty, being grateful. Growing the networks in our brains to move us from merely surviving but thriving.”
As someone who came from deep seated early childhood trauma, this is an eye opener of how to transform the easily triggered emotion of fear and panic and the chronic fixed response to the former valid but now just fixed reactions in the brain of fight-flight-freeze- mechanisms. Attention needs to go to the beauty, being grateful, allowing more of deeper connections instead of withdrawing fearfully and in doing so, hiding from others and even own painful emotions which in a way preserve these once imprinted emotions and reactions once fixed in the related areas of the brain.
If i may add, all was moving to the better since a while ago, at one given moment in a regression state into this neonatal time, someone whom i trust and who is dear to me just held this exhausted and lost-in-space- newborn tenderly and in consolation and all starts to heal afterwards. After this deep, pre- and nonverbal acknowledgement of deep grief from an outside kindred heart, this wound which could never heal started to close to my complete surprise. So far, no intervention of whatsoever kind could alter this, and thre were many many attempts to it. And at once, now there is space and some inner freedom to cultivate beauty, happiness and joy, connection and new connections in the brain also. Thank you dearly, Simone, for your utterly precious and wise post of yesterday.
And beyond the personal, I found Sparrows post most nourishing, as it included the spiritual dimension of experiencing our senses very precisely, which I was aware of but could not bring it into words. Thank you also dearly to you, dear Sparrow, for this utterly precious Beauty.
Such a deep experience of healing, Ose.
We can try to do all the right things,
but sometimes it takes a deep healing experience, such as the one you had,
to transform us and allow us to get into a flow with life and love.
Thank you, Ose, for your deep sharing.
Your description,
dear Ose,
resonates with me more than you might know . . .
it is the deepest grief
from which we can heal and thrive again,
and also the most challenging path to take.
It is hard to find those precious,
kindred hearts,
but they are there
if we be brave enough . . .
you are a very brave person,
and I hold you story close
with love . . . ♥
Thank you, dear Sparrow for your loving reply, inspiring hope to be able to open my heart fully, including pain and possibly support transforming it. 🙏
I can’t think of a specific moment, but I know that when I can listen with intention, my point of view is always shifted. I can layer their experiences with my experiences and add them to my overall perspective.
There are many different kinds of perspectives – religion, politics, life/death .. we learn and we grow from experiences and others point of view. I take what resonates and leave behind what does not.
Wishing everyone a blessed Easter weekend. My kids are adults and I still make them Easter baskets and we are dying eggs today.
Thank you Mary. We had such a great day – it was so much fun. I loved sitting back and enjoyed observing them with their creativity in dying the eggs and the excitement with the egg hunt.
My grandson. He is now 7 and has some of the most exuberance for this life I have ever witnessed. I thought some of that shine would lose its luster after he entered school. It has not. Emerick has helped me to see through the gauze of an adult conditioned mind, to glimpse at the world and my own so-called life with a renewed sense of awe and wonder. May all encounter some peace and love during this gift of another day. Namaste.
My husband, Jon, shifts my perspective fairly frequently. He and I differ on many issues. However, our core values align. Since we love each other, I can let my guard down and allow him to challenge my bias in a way I might feel defensive with another. We stretch each other by not merely agreeing for the sake of being agreeable. I know our strong personalities help each other grow.
I can’t remember, because my conversations are more simple these days. I prefer simple and straight-forward over big and novel ideas. If anything, experience shifts my perspective. “The best teacher in life is experience” LeBron James.
Barb, “Prepare for chaos” is one of Phil Jackson’s 11 zen principles. He loves to make things unpredictable to keep the players prepared for the inevidable as they step on to the court. It’s just like how I love to throw curve balls every now and then to keep things interesting despite simplicity.
Loc,
So many of your entries revolve around sports or players, and the lessons that they can teach us. It really touches me, a baseball fan, to be reminded that these endeavors often provide us with lessons for life.
Thanks
No problem, John. No celebrity is perfect. Everyone has their controversies. Other than nepotism, LeBron turned out great. He has 4 rings and has done a lot in the community through helping kids stay in school and advocating for his African American people.
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I can remember as a child when my perspective was not shifted in a healthy way and it took many years of counseling, reading helpful books and sharing with others in a variety of community groups to shift my perspective from one of black and white to one of grey, from one of “me” to “we,” from one of fear to love. I would say that everyone I have encountered did not necessarily shift my point of view but many broadened it and challenged it in healthy ways.
I had been in therapy for one of life’s traumas,
and my therapist
connected me with many great thinkers,
including Meister Eckhart,
Thomas Merton,
Cyprian Smith,
Charlotte Joko Beck,
Ram Dass, Stephen Levine,
and many others.
I found healing through their writings,
but it didn’t click into place.
Later,
on my own,
I found the writings of Eckhart Tolle,
and it clicked . . .
it’s not that he was saying anything different from the others,
but he said it in a way that I got.
Of course
I’ve gone back and immersed myself in the others,
and my understanding has filled out and deepened . . .
and embedded these truths in my psyche.
It has changed my life forever . . .
now,
I not only believe in truth,
but I live it as well.
There are stumbling blocks
(and always will be,
as I’m not done yet),
but I know what to work on now.
I am no longer
a lonely bird on a dark sea . . .
I have guideposts.
Thank you for your moving post, dear Sparrow. To integrate the loss of a child is probably one of the most difficult things to face, and to open up to the shift you describe to living truth and be open to and resonate with the wisdom and truth of the many you named and not named is very much inspiring to trust and to take a step also now. Thank you dearly🙏❤️🙏
It took me many years,
dear Ose,
and a lot of pain and anguish,
and still,
I am changed.
I know you too,
have been through the fire in your own life,
so I thank you for your kind hand
reaching out
with love . . . ♥
The first thing that comes to mind is my learning over the years about the forms of privilege I have and the implications for those who don’t have the same privilege. I read, listen, and speak differently as a result. Instead of accepting something as a given, I ask whose views and experiences weren’t included in developing whatever the statement or decision is. I’m sure I still miss things but paying attention to what and who isn’t represented has broadened my point of view. I appreciate the learning and will keep on expanding my point of view.
Ideally I would credit the many teachers I’ve met along the way. I can’t think of all of them but will name a few, mostly from somewhere in the realm of transportation policy because that’s where I’ve worked the past dozen years. Tamika Butler, Veronica O. Davis, Samantha Ollinger, Adonia Lugo, Anna Zivarts, Charles T. Brown, Olatunji Oboi Reed, and many many more.
Recently, it was an eye opener to me what Simone mentioned yesterday and i am deeply grateful for your contribution, dear friend.
“… modern neuroscience. Knowing that our brains are designed not for happiness but for survival. We must remember negative things for our survival but the good slips by easily unnoticed. Thats why we have to be so intentional in how we train and place our attention.
Where attention goes energy flows. Being attentive to the beauty, being grateful. Growing the networks in our brains to move us from merely surviving but thriving.”
As someone who came from deep seated early childhood trauma, this is an eye opener of how to transform the easily triggered emotion of fear and panic and the chronic fixed response to the former valid but now just fixed reactions in the brain of fight-flight-freeze- mechanisms. Attention needs to go to the beauty, being grateful, allowing more of deeper connections instead of withdrawing fearfully and in doing so, hiding from others and even own painful emotions which in a way preserve these once imprinted emotions and reactions once fixed in the related areas of the brain.
If i may add, all was moving to the better since a while ago, at one given moment in a regression state into this neonatal time, someone whom i trust and who is dear to me just held this exhausted and lost-in-space- newborn tenderly and in consolation and all starts to heal afterwards. After this deep, pre- and nonverbal acknowledgement of deep grief from an outside kindred heart, this wound which could never heal started to close to my complete surprise. So far, no intervention of whatsoever kind could alter this, and thre were many many attempts to it. And at once, now there is space and some inner freedom to cultivate beauty, happiness and joy, connection and new connections in the brain also. Thank you dearly, Simone, for your utterly precious and wise post of yesterday.
And beyond the personal, I found Sparrows post most nourishing, as it included the spiritual dimension of experiencing our senses very precisely, which I was aware of but could not bring it into words. Thank you also dearly to you, dear Sparrow, for this utterly precious Beauty.
Such a deep experience of healing, Ose.
We can try to do all the right things,
but sometimes it takes a deep healing experience, such as the one you had,
to transform us and allow us to get into a flow with life and love.
Thank you, Ose, for your deep sharing.
Your description,
dear Ose,
resonates with me more than you might know . . .
it is the deepest grief
from which we can heal and thrive again,
and also the most challenging path to take.
It is hard to find those precious,
kindred hearts,
but they are there
if we be brave enough . . .
you are a very brave person,
and I hold you story close
with love . . . ♥
Thank you, dear Sparrow for your loving reply, inspiring hope to be able to open my heart fully, including pain and possibly support transforming it. 🙏
At our Marriage Encounter/ Image group we tossed around many ideas on death , dying, and end of life issues. A hard topic but necessary.
I can’t think of a specific moment, but I know that when I can listen with intention, my point of view is always shifted. I can layer their experiences with my experiences and add them to my overall perspective.
Well said!
I think,
dear Charlie,
that we are subtly changed
by every encounter we make.
I love the way you have expressed this. ♥
Charlie, active listening does prevent us from being set in our ways.
There are many different kinds of perspectives – religion, politics, life/death .. we learn and we grow from experiences and others point of view. I take what resonates and leave behind what does not.
Wishing everyone a blessed Easter weekend. My kids are adults and I still make them Easter baskets and we are dying eggs today.
I love that you make your kids Easter baskets and that you are dying eggs today!
You seem like such a fun person, Michelle, and such a great Mom!
Thank you Mary. We had such a great day – it was so much fun. I loved sitting back and enjoyed observing them with their creativity in dying the eggs and the excitement with the egg hunt.
”My kids are adults and I still make them Easter baskets and we are dying eggs today.”
I wish I was one of your kids,
dear Michele. 🙂
You would have gotten a basket too. I loved doing that and will continue to.
My grandson. He is now 7 and has some of the most exuberance for this life I have ever witnessed. I thought some of that shine would lose its luster after he entered school. It has not. Emerick has helped me to see through the gauze of an adult conditioned mind, to glimpse at the world and my own so-called life with a renewed sense of awe and wonder. May all encounter some peace and love during this gift of another day. Namaste.
You remind me,
dear Joseph,
how much I miss children in my life. ♥
I love being with children too, Sparrow.
I can see you being great with children
and them loving you! ♥️
My husband, Jon, shifts my perspective fairly frequently. He and I differ on many issues. However, our core values align. Since we love each other, I can let my guard down and allow him to challenge my bias in a way I might feel defensive with another. We stretch each other by not merely agreeing for the sake of being agreeable. I know our strong personalities help each other grow.
As I mentioned to you recently, Avril,
my husband and I are very different.
I f we pay attention, there is a lot we can learn from each other.
I can’t remember, because my conversations are more simple these days. I prefer simple and straight-forward over big and novel ideas. If anything, experience shifts my perspective. “The best teacher in life is experience” LeBron James.
I thought you might list Shunryu Suzuki and Phil Jackson.
Barb, “Prepare for chaos” is one of Phil Jackson’s 11 zen principles. He loves to make things unpredictable to keep the players prepared for the inevidable as they step on to the court. It’s just like how I love to throw curve balls every now and then to keep things interesting despite simplicity.
Loc,
So many of your entries revolve around sports or players, and the lessons that they can teach us. It really touches me, a baseball fan, to be reminded that these endeavors often provide us with lessons for life.
Thanks
No problem, John. No celebrity is perfect. Everyone has their controversies. Other than nepotism, LeBron turned out great. He has 4 rings and has done a lot in the community through helping kids stay in school and advocating for his African American people.