When I have found myself in a difficult interaction lately, it is often based on content of the discussion. And that can be a trigger for me, pushing my buttons. I literally don’t see how another person can think what they think about certain things. Long ago in my career I learned the difference between focusing on content vs process of an interaction. I need to get back to that – focusing on the intent, feelings, process, etc of what all parties are about – is it power? insecurity? what do we all bring to the discussion, etc? And if I would start this from an attitude of gratitude I think it would go a long way in keeping me more sane in the midst of the interaction, not to mention what might come out of it. My problem is not taking the time to run it all through my brain and heart before engaging my mouth.
Thankfully, I haven’t had a difficult interaction in quite a while. I tend to be conflict avoidant, but I have gotten better at dealing with conflict and difficulties.
Being more centered and balanced is helpful in all situations. Less of the fight or flight response, and more calmness. And like the question the other day, practicing gratitude, helps me see more options and choices that are available.
In this case, it wouldn’t have. I had long had a fawn response to this person. A fawn response is excessive attentiveness and kindness in response to a threat. It enables a victim to stay safe from someone who wants to hurt them, it’s a signal of submission. I needed to be firm and uncompromising, to hold my ground. My gratitude is that I found the strength and support to actually do it.
With these types of questions not to long ago, I’d talk about my difficulties co-existing with my root people. Building my BosLoc umpire has helped. Branching out brings me closer to my desires and gives me a greater appreciation for where I come from. For starters, common ground goes a long ways.
Extra common ground is meant to help us deal with incompatible environments more effectively as they arise. There’s the common ground charm too. The people who are similar to us are the ones we must be more concerned over, especially same branches different roots, because motives take awhile to reveal themselves. As mentioned before, Angela and I are growing out of our naive ways, but the naivity root will always remain.
Angela and I share great commonality, but the most basic one is Christianity. Chats with her and studying the bible, especially the ladder, has gone as far as shifting my views. Autonomy used to be my core value, but that has become integrity. Everything grows and lasts longer in the name of ethics. Christianity talks a lot about roots and how there are verses that preach trees with good roots baring good fruit.
As for autonomy, I still desire for that but am more aware of the dark side of uncontrolled ambitions and pulling strings to get my ways being a couple items that jump out. Having said before, with great pleasure comes greater pain. If the grown ups cuddled and pet me today, I’d be able to accept it better without “Hidden agendas” or “Business ventures.”
Angela and I are the same people. God created those Traditional collective adults to protect vulnerable people like her and me. The cuddling and petting is a huge part of that. Pulling strings and plotting for my business ventures is a way of pushing people away which is the worst form of all. It’s dishonorable to god. Yesterday’s reading for the 40-day Lent committment on “How To Be Like God” on the joyful intimacy session was really eye opening.
The enthusiastic and cuddling ways of the grown ups protects people like Angela and me at the backdoor. Speaking as a younger person, it’s those contemporaries to be concerned over in an ultra competitive society, especially in the US. This further adds to Paw Mu’s logic of being closer to elders. Although there are younger people who come to this site every now and then, Ngoc and I, especially me, are the only ones who appear regularly. The majority of the people here I’ve noticed are middle aged adults and up.
On my journey of becoming a professional in human services, there are two key things I’ve noticed about myself. First, my primary area of interest is working with people in crisis; therefore, the ability to handle difficult interactions is crucial for an effective helping process. Second, to do that, overcoming my social anxiety is the most important thing I focus on.
I see my strength of empathy when I communicate with others one-on-one, but participating in class discussions and group work is challenging. I’m grateful to see the difficulty that comes with these opportunities for me to practice and grow. I try to speak more with my classmates when I know what to say. When I say something wrong or accidentally cause a cultural conflict, I simply apologize and move on, because I can’t take words back. It’s not about one person; it’s about a journey where I, a shy person, want to become an effective helper. Happy Friday, everyone!
My Ngoc, the closer two people are, the stronger the influence. My BosLoc umpire is also designed to provide a baseline for your social journey too to help you feel more comfortable with socializing as an introvert as someone who’s had plenty of struggles before in the environment of our root people. As I said before from our conversations and expanding upon my answer, I’m fortunate to have god as the forefront of my passions.
It has been a long time since I have had any difficult interaction with any human being. My demeanor, attitude and general outlook has improved greatly over the past four years. Not drinking alcohol, embracing gratefulness, presence, and awareness have all helped. I recall what I was told by a gentle soul many years ago … were all God’s little creatures … I prefer to frame that statement as all the universes little beings …. all life …. just human beings are a bit more full of themselves than other life …. by the nature of the ego …. the surface I. Peace. Love & Light.
Joseph, at least for most of us, we become more peaceful as we age. Those competitive dog eat dog days are further behind. Also knowing how we’re moving closer to the twilight of our lives, we have less expectations and just want to enjoy every moment, especially for as long as we’re still healthy.
Michele, your answer just gave me a new perspective on interacting with my root people. It helps me learn to play with the cards I’m dealt with rather than pulling strings for jokers. Pulling strings is cheating. Winners never cheat, and cheaters never win.
Difficult interactions is a wide range. If I take the most difficult interaction recently then I’m grateful that this situation has happened because now I’m free. I’m grateful to be free from pain and suffering.
Some difficulties could be uncomfortable because it feels scary to see my “faults” or where I need to improve. But the more and more this happens the growth occurs. I’m grateful to see what comes up in my mind now because I have the chance to discard it and be free from judgment more and more . It’s an opportunity to come out of my human mind and that is what it’s all about . I’m grateful to have all of the uncomfortable conditions because they have made me look at myself and unhinge from my thought mass – consciousness becomes free and this is amazing!
Happy Friday everyone!
Antoinette, your answer takes me on a trip to memory lane to my difficulties with Paw Mu back in the day. Her bringing up my past was really upsetting, but now that I’m more at peace, I have a new-ounced view on that. Method aside. She was trying to get me to be humble and take responsibility for the errors of my prideful charming ways. order to heal, we must be willing to face our past. Back then, I talked about load management a lot with my views there stemming from rebellion like with many of them.
Load management is only a more popularized topic in the digital age. I’m all for the traditional version designed to help us with resting for the soul. What that has turned into is a toxic in-balance of workaholism and laziness.
May be it could have inspired other kindred hearts to be visible as they are, possibly encouraging responsibility and integrity in them in being an example when showing up so essentially vulnerabie. It possibly would have encouraged the same in myself as well as may be increasing hope and trust in myself and others. Thank you for this question. Wishing a good day to all of you who share here.
Ose, I needed your answer. This brings me back to my string-pulling tendencies. Recently, there’s been improvement but old habits are still there. I’m still learning to play with the cards I’m dealt with even if I get 2s and 3s.
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Attitudes always make a difference. I think subconsciously I go into interactions with a purpose to connect and learn.
When I have found myself in a difficult interaction lately, it is often based on content of the discussion. And that can be a trigger for me, pushing my buttons. I literally don’t see how another person can think what they think about certain things. Long ago in my career I learned the difference between focusing on content vs process of an interaction. I need to get back to that – focusing on the intent, feelings, process, etc of what all parties are about – is it power? insecurity? what do we all bring to the discussion, etc? And if I would start this from an attitude of gratitude I think it would go a long way in keeping me more sane in the midst of the interaction, not to mention what might come out of it. My problem is not taking the time to run it all through my brain and heart before engaging my mouth.
Thankfully, I haven’t had a difficult interaction in quite a while. I tend to be conflict avoidant, but I have gotten better at dealing with conflict and difficulties.
Being more centered and balanced is helpful in all situations. Less of the fight or flight response, and more calmness. And like the question the other day, practicing gratitude, helps me see more options and choices that are available.
In this case, it wouldn’t have. I had long had a fawn response to this person. A fawn response is excessive attentiveness and kindness in response to a threat. It enables a victim to stay safe from someone who wants to hurt them, it’s a signal of submission. I needed to be firm and uncompromising, to hold my ground. My gratitude is that I found the strength and support to actually do it.
With these types of questions not to long ago, I’d talk about my difficulties co-existing with my root people. Building my BosLoc umpire has helped. Branching out brings me closer to my desires and gives me a greater appreciation for where I come from. For starters, common ground goes a long ways.
Extra common ground is meant to help us deal with incompatible environments more effectively as they arise. There’s the common ground charm too. The people who are similar to us are the ones we must be more concerned over, especially same branches different roots, because motives take awhile to reveal themselves. As mentioned before, Angela and I are growing out of our naive ways, but the naivity root will always remain.
Angela and I share great commonality, but the most basic one is Christianity. Chats with her and studying the bible, especially the ladder, has gone as far as shifting my views. Autonomy used to be my core value, but that has become integrity. Everything grows and lasts longer in the name of ethics. Christianity talks a lot about roots and how there are verses that preach trees with good roots baring good fruit.
As for autonomy, I still desire for that but am more aware of the dark side of uncontrolled ambitions and pulling strings to get my ways being a couple items that jump out. Having said before, with great pleasure comes greater pain. If the grown ups cuddled and pet me today, I’d be able to accept it better without “Hidden agendas” or “Business ventures.”
Angela and I are the same people. God created those Traditional collective adults to protect vulnerable people like her and me. The cuddling and petting is a huge part of that. Pulling strings and plotting for my business ventures is a way of pushing people away which is the worst form of all. It’s dishonorable to god. Yesterday’s reading for the 40-day Lent committment on “How To Be Like God” on the joyful intimacy session was really eye opening.
The enthusiastic and cuddling ways of the grown ups protects people like Angela and me at the backdoor. Speaking as a younger person, it’s those contemporaries to be concerned over in an ultra competitive society, especially in the US. This further adds to Paw Mu’s logic of being closer to elders. Although there are younger people who come to this site every now and then, Ngoc and I, especially me, are the only ones who appear regularly. The majority of the people here I’ve noticed are middle aged adults and up.
On my journey of becoming a professional in human services, there are two key things I’ve noticed about myself. First, my primary area of interest is working with people in crisis; therefore, the ability to handle difficult interactions is crucial for an effective helping process. Second, to do that, overcoming my social anxiety is the most important thing I focus on.
I see my strength of empathy when I communicate with others one-on-one, but participating in class discussions and group work is challenging. I’m grateful to see the difficulty that comes with these opportunities for me to practice and grow. I try to speak more with my classmates when I know what to say. When I say something wrong or accidentally cause a cultural conflict, I simply apologize and move on, because I can’t take words back. It’s not about one person; it’s about a journey where I, a shy person, want to become an effective helper. Happy Friday, everyone!
My Ngoc, the closer two people are, the stronger the influence. My BosLoc umpire is also designed to provide a baseline for your social journey too to help you feel more comfortable with socializing as an introvert as someone who’s had plenty of struggles before in the environment of our root people. As I said before from our conversations and expanding upon my answer, I’m fortunate to have god as the forefront of my passions.
It has been a long time since I have had any difficult interaction with any human being. My demeanor, attitude and general outlook has improved greatly over the past four years. Not drinking alcohol, embracing gratefulness, presence, and awareness have all helped. I recall what I was told by a gentle soul many years ago … were all God’s little creatures … I prefer to frame that statement as all the universes little beings …. all life …. just human beings are a bit more full of themselves than other life …. by the nature of the ego …. the surface I. Peace. Love & Light.
Joseph, at least for most of us, we become more peaceful as we age. Those competitive dog eat dog days are further behind. Also knowing how we’re moving closer to the twilight of our lives, we have less expectations and just want to enjoy every moment, especially for as long as we’re still healthy.
Gratitude would have enabled me to see the “silver lining” in this difficult interaction, creating a different outcome……a hard lesson learned.
In addition to the affirmative gratitude, one can also be grateful for what they don’t have.
TGIF!
lots of good ones for today -> https://nationaltoday.com/today/
I like it, thank you Michele.
Michele, your answer just gave me a new perspective on interacting with my root people. It helps me learn to play with the cards I’m dealt with rather than pulling strings for jokers. Pulling strings is cheating. Winners never cheat, and cheaters never win.
I am grateful for many things I have left by the wayside. Active addiction to booze is one. Thank you for the reminder and the link Michele.
Difficult interactions is a wide range. If I take the most difficult interaction recently then I’m grateful that this situation has happened because now I’m free. I’m grateful to be free from pain and suffering.
Some difficulties could be uncomfortable because it feels scary to see my “faults” or where I need to improve. But the more and more this happens the growth occurs. I’m grateful to see what comes up in my mind now because I have the chance to discard it and be free from judgment more and more . It’s an opportunity to come out of my human mind and that is what it’s all about . I’m grateful to have all of the uncomfortable conditions because they have made me look at myself and unhinge from my thought mass – consciousness becomes free and this is amazing!
Happy Friday everyone!
Antoinette, your answer takes me on a trip to memory lane to my difficulties with Paw Mu back in the day. Her bringing up my past was really upsetting, but now that I’m more at peace, I have a new-ounced view on that. Method aside. She was trying to get me to be humble and take responsibility for the errors of my prideful charming ways. order to heal, we must be willing to face our past. Back then, I talked about load management a lot with my views there stemming from rebellion like with many of them.
Load management is only a more popularized topic in the digital age. I’m all for the traditional version designed to help us with resting for the soul. What that has turned into is a toxic in-balance of workaholism and laziness.
A happy day to you to Antoinette!
May be it could have inspired other kindred hearts to be visible as they are, possibly encouraging responsibility and integrity in them in being an example when showing up so essentially vulnerabie. It possibly would have encouraged the same in myself as well as may be increasing hope and trust in myself and others. Thank you for this question. Wishing a good day to all of you who share here.
Ose, I needed your answer. This brings me back to my string-pulling tendencies. Recently, there’s been improvement but old habits are still there. I’m still learning to play with the cards I’m dealt with even if I get 2s and 3s.
Thank you Ose. Have a lovely day too 🙂