Reflections

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  1. nadders

    I am being bullied at work. I have recently has some very difficult interaction both with the bullies and my manager who is Handling the situation very badly. I have been using a gratitude dairy as part of my mindfulness/positive mental health strategy. It draws my attention to what is good in my life. Being grateful Hass been a success ful component back to mental well being.

    2 years ago
  2. Sarah M

    gratitude may have made the more fun or pleasant.

    2 years ago
  3. Malag

    I frequently avoid difficult interaction so I needed to dust off my memories on this one. I can think of a couple that knocked me sideways. Struggling to see how gratitude would have made a difference. In hindsight there was so much other good things happening in my life that, appreciating them, may have grounded me more. I don’t think it would have made any difference to the interaction though. 

    2 years ago
  4. Don Jones

    Gratitude is something that is not just for good days. It is for every day – even the bad and the ugly. For me there are a couple of notions – it could always have been worse, and it is what it is (seeing what is). Gratitude on the tough days helps me let go and get untangled.

    2 years ago
    1. Anna

      Thank you Don Jones, you are offering me a great support.

      2 years ago
  5. Debra

    In the difficult interaction that comes to my mind, gratefulness would have opened me to knowing the lesson for me was to allow love of self to be ever present and then love would flow more freely to others.

    2 years ago
  6. Mica

    Humph. Good question. I think underlying gratitude calmed me down..

    2 years ago
  7. Toni

    It depends on the interaction and who I’m interacting with. When I see that someone is coming from a bad place It’s better for me not to interact. Having wisdom enough to not give in to the drama gives me a sense of gratitude for not being swept away. If life is a game I don’t want to compete I want to play. I find that difficult enough. I have been on the loosing side for a long time so I’d rather disengage to keep the peace and my sanity at this point. That may sound selfish but from my experience its self preservation.

    2 years ago
  8. L
    Lauryn

    Kindness, quite simply. Often in difficult situations our words are emotionally charged- we want someone else to see where we are coming from, to be heard. Maybe it’s just all about showing kindness, thinking about how we would want to be treated. Gratitude reminds us of the good- conflict breeds stress and unhappiness. Gratitude can help to balance this out.

    2 years ago
  9. Katrina

    This is a good, but difficult question. I can only be responsible for my own gratitude and my own learnings and growth out of the particular situation. As I still deal with hurt and anger regarding difficult interactions with particular people in the past, I am still reflecting on what I learned from them, the ways I grew, the strength I gained, and what situations I want to put myself in again. For that I am grateful.

    2 years ago
  10. Ed Schulte

    Grateful that that person ( as we all are ) is a Perfect and Permanent Spirit-Soul Self.
    And also Grateful that the Temporary present-day-personalities ( the inter-actors we all are while in forms ) will eventually fade / dissolve / into the Permanent Self.

    So the bottomline Gratitude wrt the “difficult interaction” is ( and not just “might” )

    “This too shall pass”.

    2 years ago
  11. SK

    I think of how Kerry ended our long and wonderful friendship . She seemed to have this expectation that I should just “have known” what she was going through (or had been through) but she did not extend the courtesy of actually sharing that with me. I was suppose to be a trusted friend but yet, she could not trust herself enough to tell me she had been sexually assaulted. I could have/would have extended love, support and gratitude to her and claimed my enduring friendship but she made it clear that her rejection of me was paramount to her. So, done is done. I am still very sad. There was no right or wrong actions in this event, only the lack of trust to share the burden with a friend. I have days when I would love to talk with her but it will never be the same. I had moved 2300 miles away before all this happened, so the distance made it doubly hurtful for me.

    2 years ago
    1. Holly in Ohio

      My instinct tells me it is not you, SK, that she doesn’t trust. She may not trust anything or anyone for a while. She may not trust herself. In a twisted way it may even be because you moved that she felt she needed emotional distance. We can’t know. Sexual assault can mix a person up, and cause contradictions. I would try periodically to rekindle the friendship. She may need time to work things through on her own, but whether or not she responds she might appreciate your reaching out to her.

      2 years ago
      1. SK

        Thank you for that perspective. I believe that when we each can take that little “quarter turn” to try and see a situation from a different angle, it can start to become a bit clearer what we can and should do to bridge the gap.

        2 years ago
  12. Pollyanna Gladwell

    Having just had a difficult interaction – not something I experience often thank goodness – this is a particularly apposite question for me to reflect on today. And I note it says “might” rather than “did”…make a difference.

    Perhaps the question means my gratitude, but I choose to look at it as how the other person’s gratitude might have made a difference. While I was ending the relationship, I expressed gratitude for all his love and kindness over the last 5 years. He, sadly, could not do likewise and resorted to recriminations and blame. His gratitude might have meant that our deeply caring friendship would have continued, as was my wish. But I have to recognise that he was dealing with a situation he didn’t want and his only way of handling it was to indulge in unwarranted attacks.

    Although they were hurtful because I thought them unnecessary (and untrue) , I carry no resentment as I can eradicate such by invoking the prayer given in the 4th of the 12 Steps: This is a [spiritually] sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.

    Perhaps our friendship will survive but at the moment it seems like my most useful ‘action’ is to take no action – and stay away from him. It’s especially sad as we were each other’s “social bubble” and he really was my closest friend.

    2 years ago
    1. Patricia

      Thank you for this, Pollyanna. A similar interaction with someone has left me sad, and your words about spiritual sickness and your prayer about “how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry…” were the words I needed this morning.

      2 years ago
      1. Holly in Ohio

        My mother used to say, “Least said, soonest mended.”

        2 years ago
  13. Trish

    A few years ago I worked for a manager who was unethical in her behavior and there was a situation when she fabricated lies, and twisted the truth to prevent herself from being reprimanded. She laid the blame on my entire team and we were all written up for disciplinary action. I was filled with anxiety and anger. Never in my life have I been disciplined & the fact that it was unwarranted had my stomach in knots.

    Here’s the thing: I’m grateful (so very grateful) that I will never treat another human in that way. My brain is creative but I will never use it to devise lies to berate others in order to save my skin. I see these points now but it was so hard to hold onto them during the situation that seemed to drag on forever. So many life lessons learned from it. I’m grateful for that too🌻

    2 years ago
  14. sunnypatti48317

    Gratitude DID make a difference in the most recent difficulat interaction… I was grateful to muster up the courage to say what needed to be said to this person. Grateful before the interaction because I was ready and determined to get it done. That helped me be able to say what I said calmly and straight-forward. It might have been different had I not said a little thank you beforehand. Gratitude practice makes a difference in how we deal with life. I find that because I have more peace of mind and know how to pause to say thank you and take a breath or two that it’s easy (or at least easier) to deal with situations that arise.

    2 years ago
  15. devy

    Dealing with someone and particularly a loved one who is going through their own personal dilemmas can be difficult. You might want to be there for them, to support and offer help but they prefer to deal with their problems by themselves. They may seem to be withdrawn from you, want their own personal time by themselves. You may give suggestions to them such as them seeking help, or explaining how gratitude and thankfulness would help but they are no willing or ready to try. By showing your own personal gratitudes, by acknowledging to them how grateful they are in your life, hopefully they will see how you react and decide to make the move to self help. You can’t self beat yourself up over their own misfortunes and suffering

    2 years ago
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