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In past tense, I would have gained acceptance of a situation that was set up to fail the vulnerable population In the future tense: a previous reflection imparted the importance of pausing; if I pause, then bring in the notion that this irritation, fear, … reaction that I’m having to the situation, is happening to give me something, this will change my perception and the outcome.
When I read this I think of instances where I was treated poorly at work at times. The wicked witch of a manager or a supv that all of a sudden you report to. I usually try to remain silent but in the end Karma eventually happens to them. I have seen this several times and guess what I am grateful lol
Last year I worked with a guy that I definitely did not like because he reach a position that, in my opinion, he doesn’t deserve to reach due to he had no experience to grow so fast to that position (and it was a position above mine, who have studied and worked in that area for a long time). So I got very mad about it but this situation showed me that I am valorizing too much the hard way to get what I want, in my (old) vision, you need to work a lot to grow in your career but, after this situation I saw that do not need to be this way, I can harmonize myself with the energy of the easy ability (I don’t know if this word exists hehe) and start to have what I want in an easier way.
I think I did not answered the original question haha. But it’s ok Have a nice day for everyone directly from Brazil 🙂
Just got off the phone with the pharmacist. There was a mess up with a prescription for my dog. I had decided to get this prescription at my regular pharmacy instead of the vet’s office because it was going to be cheaper. When I picked up the prescription, I noticed that the name of the drug was not what I was used to and slightly questioned it but not too much. It sounded similar to a drug my dog is already on and if you doubled the dose, that would not be good. Last night, for some reason, I looked at the drug paperwork that came with it and after a quick look up on line, saw that my initial reaction was correct. This is NOT the drug he was supposed to be taking. Luckily, he’d only done two days worth. After talking with the pharmacist and vet’s office, it was clearly a mess up on someone’s part and I’m leaning towards the pharmacist. When I talked with the pharmacist, instead of being grateful that I caught the mistake, I started getting upset and a bit argumentative when all the pharmacist did was justify HOW it could’ve happened. I probably wouldn’t have set him off to be defensive if I had approached it differently. Of course, fear that this could’ve gone the wrong way if I hadn’t been so astute and observant (and knowledgeable to know that the name of this drug sounded like it was more along the lines of an SSRI than an anti-inflammatory). My heart rate may not have climbed so high if I had been able to maintain the grateful side instead of the fear and anger side.
A sincere attitude of gratitude makes a difference in every situation. It replaces judgement with compassion. I identify with Laura’s answer. The power of pause opens doors that might otherwise be closed permanently. I have a neighbor who violently slammed that door recently and thankfully I did not react. I doubt he will ever open it again and I doubt that gratefulness would have made a difference. I think it important to remember that it takes two to tangle or tango!
“It takes to to tangle or tango” I am going to remember this one Carol. Thanks.
Love this line! “it takes two to tangle or tango”. Wonderful wordplay with both sound and meaning, and a great concise reminder that I can choose not to tangle.
Like others this question had me perplexed this morning. Thankfully, I have not had any encounters with anyone recently that caused friction….and for that I am grateful. But, I continue to learn from all of you…and I thank you for that.
Gratitude requires a pause, and a pause rarely fails to help me see beyond my immediate cares and tasks. When I can see beyond the swirl and demands of the day, I can give patience to the other person.
I have not had any such situations recently. Some time past when I said something without thinking, my wife took a dig at me about some of my past behaviors when I was drinking. With acceptance of my past and staying mindful of remaining in the present I was able to speak calmly and let her know I have not forgotten my past but I must leave that baggage behind in order to move forward each new day. When I came back in the house after feeding the steers and chopping wood for the day she apologized. That conversation could have easily escalated if I had not accepted that by my numerous relapses into addiction I had truly impacted her psyche. We have been married 34 1/2 years and if I had not explored mindfulness, gratefulness along with mediation and continued addiction therapy I feel we would have stopped the clock at 33 1/2 years. Thank all of you good folks who reflect here on a daily basis. It has become very helpful for me.
Thank you for your honest sharing, Joseph ! I admire you! Blessings to you and your wife. 🌈
Your story gives me hope in dealing with addictive behaviors. Your openness is appreciated.
You are a good man, Joseph McCann…I admire your strength in overcoming your addiction. Continued Blessings to you!!
A few days ago I had to have a frank, awkward, and honest conversation with a rowing friend regarding not fielding a team for a boat race because I didn’t feel that the crew had had enough time to practice maneuvers in order to remain safe in a race. I was grateful that the bond of our friendship allowed us to have this conversation and still go for coffee following our row on Tuesday.
Kevin – I enjoy your posts. This one made me smile when I realized “row” in the last sentence can be read two ways. Pun intended?
I had a difficult situation with someone a few weeks ago and if I could have let go and listened with an open mind it would have been easier. I reacted and got defensive right away to protect myself because I was afraid of looking stupid. I have dyslexia and I have always hidden it from others. Today it’s more acceptable and not really an issue. When I was younger no one knew what to do with kids who had reading and writing issues. I have to be let go of saving face and be honest about my challenges. I was embarrassed and I got angry which of course is fear. Today I have to go to work to try to learn and take notes about what I don’t understand. I’ll do my best. I have to say I’m a bit scared about not doing well enough or that they will think I’m dumb.
You may not be seeking advice but I’m wondering if you’re in the US and could speak to your employer about ADA accommodation that enables you to carry out essential duties. Something like what Yram suggested below about being able to record so you can listen afterward (although I could also understand if people expressed concern about being recorded so it would have to be selective). I would hope that your co-workers would extend grace and work with you to decrease some of the frustration and fear.
I accompany students with dyslexia. Self esteem is almost a bigger problem than the other issues. Can you record the conversation at work and give it a review later when you can give it full attention? That will take the pressure off writung. You are a great person. Thinking you are dumb probably does not come over that way to others. I am with you in spirit. 🤩
Good Morning dear Antionette, Oh my goodness, I am so sorry that you are feeling such fear and anxiety. You are not dumb by any stretch of the imagination…your brain just works differently…that makes you…you!! Do not fear…you will get through this. My prayers are with you. I wish you success.
My goodness, you are anything but dumb, Antoinette! But I understand. I will hold in thought and prayer in your workplace today.
This question assumes I do not have gratitude, which I do:)
Perhaps the last line would have served our audience better if the last part of the question was “how did gratitude make a difference?”
I felt the same way, Michele, about today’s question. But it just so happened that I did have a recent situation that would apply.
It irks me when some of these questions, in my view, assumes that we are lacking some-thing in order to have the word gratefulness come to the rescue. It just feels contrived sometimes.
Frequently I find myself feeling “out of sync” with the reflection question. Once again, I am grateful for those who post comments which mirror my own reaction.
Not resonating with today’s question, I stayed with the daily quote by Mary Oliver, “Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.” Group comments leave me feeling blessed just as I am. Thank you.
Yes for sure.
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