Doing my best in whatever i do is what i feel is a constructive approach, while perfectionism would be a kind of prison for myself and others, robbing myself and others of freedom and in the same timw would narrow down life´s seemingly chaotic but purely creative expression. A fine line to doing my best for the sake of all. Still there are expectations of perfectionism to be released, especially in creative areas of arts – playing piano for example, or when having done portraits as a teenager, where expectations how it has to be done in order to be “valuable” influenced and stopped the creative flow almost for good. So passively, it turned to own perfectionism and had become the nevative influence on myself. Thank you for this question. Releasing this perfectionism could be freeing the flow again may be. In the same time, while creating for example a piece of art where unexpectedly the source opened to something deeper, creativity flew unhindered and brought up one of the most beautiful pieces which had flewn through my hands without a single disturbance of thought. A fine line…
Oh,
my goodness gracious,
it does!
I have been actively practicing the art of accepting my imperfections . . .
in my health,
in my appearance,
sleeping patterns,
in gardening,
in getting the exercise I need,
in cleaning
(a big one) . . .
and it has made all the difference in the world.
I am never going to be more perfect
than I am right now,
and it’s time for the world
to get used to it. ♥
I might release dieting once and for all andgo for a healthy lifestyle more good steps than bad. It will free up mindspace for funner things than beating myself up
I never thought I was a perfectionist—I didn’t try to be the best or compare myself to others. I genuinely believed I was just doing my best. As a child, my parents told me, “You can only do your best.” However, I didn’t really know what my best was, so my drive became rooted in deep self-doubt and a fear of failure. That self-doubt was fed by a toxic relationship that told me both, “You’re a perfectionist” and “You’ll never be good or smart enough.”
That contradiction left me constantly striving—not to prove myself, but to avoid failing. It’s been exhausting. While I still struggle with self-doubt, I’m beginning to let go of my fear of failure. I don’t know if that’s because I’m finally moving toward self-acceptance or simply too tired to keep living under that constant pressure—but either way, it feels like a kind of relief.
Someone once told me that one reason we change is because we just get tired of being or doing things a certain way, life wears us out into changing. What you wrote reminded me of that.
Perfection is an opinion. Well being is a state. Perfection is performance oriented and well being is process oriented. I think life is process so when the need to be perfect rears its head, I am usually afraid of being judged or rejected. It’s an old pattern from my childhood. I’m so thankful to be able to identify it and let it go. Br. David’s Stop, Look, Go is a very helpful practice.
Carol, that is an astute observation that the need to be perfect is often defined by a fear of rejection or judgement. Something about the word suggests striving, but it seems more like a form of avoidance (of process, as you mentioned).
This is a question we’ve explored before. Like Charlie, I have released myself from this delusion. I strive for proficiency. I am learning to temper my striving with acceptance—not ambivalence. I notice when I find the balance between the active energy of striving and the static energy of acceptance I can discern which endeavors are worth the energy with less burnout. I’m practicing this with my career now. I am pursuing more challenging endeavors without allowing myself to entertain my worth is tied to my accomplishments.
I let go of that destructive habit. Mostly. It still rears its head every now and then, but I usually catch it before I get too carried away.
It has left more room for other more productive things.
Releasing the expectation of perfection is freeing! I then am not measuring myself against some picture in my head.
My parents taught me very early… “stop comparing yourself- there will always be better and worse, so just do your best and then let it go.”
I learned to live by that, and it is freeing; with the exception of at times, reviewing an experience to see what can be learned.
I don’t think perfectionism was in my life. I do try my best, improve and grow. I am a slow learner. That ‘imperfection” has led me to go at the pace I can and get stronger.
Releasing the expectation of perfection would benefit my well-being by adding less pressure on myself. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is unique.
Wishing everyone a peaceful, relaxing Sunday
Perfectionism causes stress, which is hard on the mind and the body. I have been known to be a perfectionist, but have been learning, quite slowly mind you, how to let go of control and go with the flow. It feels better to trust, but it isn’t always easy even if I know it’s the better option!
Fortunately, perfectionism is one problem I do not have. I just live life simply. I don’t have any expectations on how one should be. It’s why I can sense incompatibility and reduce conflict instead of molding others to meet my desires.
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Doing my best in whatever i do is what i feel is a constructive approach, while perfectionism would be a kind of prison for myself and others, robbing myself and others of freedom and in the same timw would narrow down life´s seemingly chaotic but purely creative expression. A fine line to doing my best for the sake of all. Still there are expectations of perfectionism to be released, especially in creative areas of arts – playing piano for example, or when having done portraits as a teenager, where expectations how it has to be done in order to be “valuable” influenced and stopped the creative flow almost for good. So passively, it turned to own perfectionism and had become the nevative influence on myself. Thank you for this question. Releasing this perfectionism could be freeing the flow again may be. In the same time, while creating for example a piece of art where unexpectedly the source opened to something deeper, creativity flew unhindered and brought up one of the most beautiful pieces which had flewn through my hands without a single disturbance of thought. A fine line…
Oh,
my goodness gracious,
it does!
I have been actively practicing the art of accepting my imperfections . . .
in my health,
in my appearance,
sleeping patterns,
in gardening,
in getting the exercise I need,
in cleaning
(a big one) . . .
and it has made all the difference in the world.
I am never going to be more perfect
than I am right now,
and it’s time for the world
to get used to it. ♥
🌱💦☀️❤️
♥
I might release dieting once and for all andgo for a healthy lifestyle more good steps than bad. It will free up mindspace for funner things than beating myself up
Agreed,
dear Shell . . . ♥
I never thought I was a perfectionist—I didn’t try to be the best or compare myself to others. I genuinely believed I was just doing my best. As a child, my parents told me, “You can only do your best.” However, I didn’t really know what my best was, so my drive became rooted in deep self-doubt and a fear of failure. That self-doubt was fed by a toxic relationship that told me both, “You’re a perfectionist” and “You’ll never be good or smart enough.”
That contradiction left me constantly striving—not to prove myself, but to avoid failing. It’s been exhausting. While I still struggle with self-doubt, I’m beginning to let go of my fear of failure. I don’t know if that’s because I’m finally moving toward self-acceptance or simply too tired to keep living under that constant pressure—but either way, it feels like a kind of relief.
Someone once told me that one reason we change is because we just get tired of being or doing things a certain way, life wears us out into changing. What you wrote reminded me of that.
Good for you for having this realization. Those voices in our heads are outdated!
Perfection is an opinion. Well being is a state. Perfection is performance oriented and well being is process oriented. I think life is process so when the need to be perfect rears its head, I am usually afraid of being judged or rejected. It’s an old pattern from my childhood. I’m so thankful to be able to identify it and let it go. Br. David’s Stop, Look, Go is a very helpful practice.
Carol, that is an astute observation that the need to be perfect is often defined by a fear of rejection or judgement. Something about the word suggests striving, but it seems more like a form of avoidance (of process, as you mentioned).
This is a question we’ve explored before. Like Charlie, I have released myself from this delusion. I strive for proficiency. I am learning to temper my striving with acceptance—not ambivalence. I notice when I find the balance between the active energy of striving and the static energy of acceptance I can discern which endeavors are worth the energy with less burnout. I’m practicing this with my career now. I am pursuing more challenging endeavors without allowing myself to entertain my worth is tied to my accomplishments.
I let go of that destructive habit. Mostly. It still rears its head every now and then, but I usually catch it before I get too carried away.
It has left more room for other more productive things.
Releasing the expectation of perfection is freeing! I then am not measuring myself against some picture in my head.
My parents taught me very early… “stop comparing yourself- there will always be better and worse, so just do your best and then let it go.”
I learned to live by that, and it is freeing; with the exception of at times, reviewing an experience to see what can be learned.
You have wise parents,
dear Cathie . . . ♥
What a wise teaching from your parents, Cathie!
I don’t think perfectionism was in my life. I do try my best, improve and grow. I am a slow learner. That ‘imperfection” has led me to go at the pace I can and get stronger.
I would show up more authentically, be more in the moment. Less procrastination and reclusiveness, more honesty and richness in contact.
Yes, willing to take more chances!
I’ve learned to aim for progress, which is a much more encouraging companion than perfection.
Yes, life is process not performance.
Love it.
Releasing the expectation of perfection would benefit my well-being by adding less pressure on myself. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is unique.
Wishing everyone a peaceful, relaxing Sunday
Likewise on a peaceful, relaxing Sunday Michele.
Perfectionism causes stress, which is hard on the mind and the body. I have been known to be a perfectionist, but have been learning, quite slowly mind you, how to let go of control and go with the flow. It feels better to trust, but it isn’t always easy even if I know it’s the better option!
Trust is truly the message of all paths. Sometimes those who teach us get it confused with Dogma and call it our faith but for me faith is trust.
I agree, Carol.
Fortunately, perfectionism is one problem I do not have. I just live life simply. I don’t have any expectations on how one should be. It’s why I can sense incompatibility and reduce conflict instead of molding others to meet my desires.
Perfectly unperfect I am and I will be.