My Mother for certain. So many talks we had are still so vivid in my mind. My reactions and my strength come from my Mother.
In the homily said at my church this (my Mother was very much into her faith) week, it was about being the voice and advocate for someone that is unable to do so for themselves. I told my daughter those exact words when I was with her, I needed to be there for her. This comes naturally to me. It is who I am and I know it is a gift from my Mother : )
As I pondered this question, so many people flood my memory.
The person who first comes to mind was the music director for our church. He was not only one of the most talented musicians I have known. but also the most spiritual. When he was first diagnosed, his reaction was “If this is what God wills, so be it.” And it wasn’t just words; he really meant it. He passed away recently, having outlived doctors’ predictions by years. His memorial service was last week and I really pushed myself to sing with the choir. The music and the tributes were amazing. RIP, M***.
Another friend, who by coincidence also died far too young of a similar neuromuscular illness, was a beloved friend, mentor and one-time supervisor. She made a huge difference in the world and in my life. Over the years, when faced with a decision, I have often asked myself “What would G*** do?
And my daddy.
I’m with you on verb choice, Dolores! “Affect” is a perfectly good word. Or “changed”, “shaped”, “inspired” in this instance. I work in transportation safety so I cringe when someone talks about the “impact” of something. It means a driver struck my body with a large steel box part of the time we use it so I don’t use it for any other meaning.
Unfortunately, there is quite a list. And
while I can’t point to one person, all
of my friends and family who have
passed, still effect me and I carry them
with me. Little bits of things they said
or the way they would do something,
or just the way they were, is built into
me.
My grandparents and the two great-grandmothers I knew that have all passed on. They all gave me tremendous love and lessons about life. My Papaw and one of my great-mamaws were a gift to me from my step-father, who has been my dad since I was 7. This family took me and my sister in like we were blood relatives and because they were closer, physically, I got to spend lots of time with them growing up. My Papaw died when I was in college, and I was absolutely devastated. I just couldn’t stop crying. He had lung cancer after years of smoking and walked with a cane due to an injury during WWII. Before he died, he walked into the living room of his house without a cane, and declared that God gave him one last miracle. I really hated God for taking him from us, but about a week after his death, my Papaw came to me in a dream. I was sitting on my front porch crying and looked up to see him riding a bicycle on my street. He didn’t come in the yard, but stopped in front of the house and told me to stop crying, that he was okay. I stopped crying and my faith was renewed when I woke up.
This is a timely question and invokes gratitude for all the folks that have entered my life and mine in theirs.
Yesterday was the 80th year of my mom’s death. I was only months old when her life was cut short. Although I have no memories, I feel so impacted by the lovely qualities my relatives said she had and I am similar to her.
Elizabeth, a Dominican who lived the Word Radically in her art, poetry recitation, bubbly laughter, sparkling eyes with mischievous overtones. She was my spiritual companion for 20+ years. Truly an “Elizabeth” who celebrated my awareness of the Inner Divine made manifest in our monthly conversations. She taught me about Sophia, who had Intuitively been with me my whole life and whom still guides my path.
Mag, a precious elder in my life, came to mind. Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death. I treasure
& live by the wisdom she shared with me over the years. Mag had a unique way of tickling my funny bone. My current life situation gives me abundant reasons to recall and use that gift. Thanks, Mag.😇
My grandmothers impacted my life. They lived in separate states, but I was able to spend time with each of them as an adult. My grandma in another state was still close enough that we were able to visit once or twice a year. She was a brittle diabetic, and it was a privilege to know her and learn from her about recipes, and to hear her stories. My nearby grandma, who lived right around the corner from me for a long time, was a joy to spend time with. From her I learned about the gardens – food and recipes, which apples were in the trees, and such. I was grateful to spend a lot of time with her and eventually to help her with many things. I have always been grateful for their many blessings in my life.
My grandfather, Wilfred, was a fantastic man. He was born in Barbados in a time of abject poverty. He made his way to Panama, where many Afro-Caribbean people had gone to assist in building the canal. He became bilingual in adulthood and taught science in the canal zone in both languages. There, he met my grandmother, who was born in Panama. In his early adulthood, he began to teach himself photography. He was deeply intrigued by the chemical processes because of his scientific background. They immigrated to the US, where he became a professional UN photographer. He was gregarious, sophisticated, and a bit of a philanderer. I learned from him that people are complicated, and you can be a great person but not necessarily a great spouse. However, he gave my mother, who passed to me, a zest for life and a unique sense of adventure for his time. He transcended the idea that Black people should stay in their lane.
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mother
My children. We are currently estranged. I keep praying. It will happen in God’s timing.
My father- He was my cheer leader.
Loving and always listening.
His advice and hugs were always
welcomed and deeply felt.
His long life left many adventurous stories.
Yet, it was the quieter moments
and his practice of seeking
advice from his Guardian Angel…
And his passion for living a grateful life
what has lasted within my heart.
His last words inspired my new awakening
as he transitioned and my new book…
So grateful for his wisdom
and for teaching me even to his last day…
His love lives within me forever.
Beautiful
My Mother for certain. So many talks we had are still so vivid in my mind. My reactions and my strength come from my Mother.
In the homily said at my church this (my Mother was very much into her faith) week, it was about being the voice and advocate for someone that is unable to do so for themselves. I told my daughter those exact words when I was with her, I needed to be there for her. This comes naturally to me. It is who I am and I know it is a gift from my Mother : )
As I pondered this question, so many people flood my memory.
The person who first comes to mind was the music director for our church. He was not only one of the most talented musicians I have known. but also the most spiritual. When he was first diagnosed, his reaction was “If this is what God wills, so be it.” And it wasn’t just words; he really meant it. He passed away recently, having outlived doctors’ predictions by years. His memorial service was last week and I really pushed myself to sing with the choir. The music and the tributes were amazing. RIP, M***.
Another friend, who by coincidence also died far too young of a similar neuromuscular illness, was a beloved friend, mentor and one-time supervisor. She made a huge difference in the world and in my life. Over the years, when faced with a decision, I have often asked myself “What would G*** do?
And my daddy.
“
I’m with you on verb choice, Dolores! “Affect” is a perfectly good word. Or “changed”, “shaped”, “inspired” in this instance. I work in transportation safety so I cringe when someone talks about the “impact” of something. It means a driver struck my body with a large steel box part of the time we use it so I don’t use it for any other meaning.
My father, who was a stellar human being and humanitarian. I never could live up to who he was, but I am so grateful for my memories of him.
Unfortunately, there is quite a list. And
while I can’t point to one person, all
of my friends and family who have
passed, still effect me and I carry them
with me. Little bits of things they said
or the way they would do something,
or just the way they were, is built into
me.
My mother. So much of who I am came from her teaching and her examples.
My grandparents and the two great-grandmothers I knew that have all passed on. They all gave me tremendous love and lessons about life. My Papaw and one of my great-mamaws were a gift to me from my step-father, who has been my dad since I was 7. This family took me and my sister in like we were blood relatives and because they were closer, physically, I got to spend lots of time with them growing up. My Papaw died when I was in college, and I was absolutely devastated. I just couldn’t stop crying. He had lung cancer after years of smoking and walked with a cane due to an injury during WWII. Before he died, he walked into the living room of his house without a cane, and declared that God gave him one last miracle. I really hated God for taking him from us, but about a week after his death, my Papaw came to me in a dream. I was sitting on my front porch crying and looked up to see him riding a bicycle on my street. He didn’t come in the yard, but stopped in front of the house and told me to stop crying, that he was okay. I stopped crying and my faith was renewed when I woke up.
I’m glad he helped you see that he was where he was supposed to be. What a gift!
I’m still so grateful for that after all these years <3
This is a timely question and invokes gratitude for all the folks that have entered my life and mine in theirs.
Yesterday was the 80th year of my mom’s death. I was only months old when her life was cut short. Although I have no memories, I feel so impacted by the lovely qualities my relatives said she had and I am similar to her.
Yram, thank you for your vulnerability.
Bless you, YRAM.
Elizabeth, a Dominican who lived the Word Radically in her art, poetry recitation, bubbly laughter, sparkling eyes with mischievous overtones. She was my spiritual companion for 20+ years. Truly an “Elizabeth” who celebrated my awareness of the Inner Divine made manifest in our monthly conversations. She taught me about Sophia, who had Intuitively been with me my whole life and whom still guides my path.
Mag, a precious elder in my life, came to mind. Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death. I treasure
& live by the wisdom she shared with me over the years. Mag had a unique way of tickling my funny bone. My current life situation gives me abundant reasons to recall and use that gift. Thanks, Mag.😇
My grandmothers impacted my life. They lived in separate states, but I was able to spend time with each of them as an adult. My grandma in another state was still close enough that we were able to visit once or twice a year. She was a brittle diabetic, and it was a privilege to know her and learn from her about recipes, and to hear her stories. My nearby grandma, who lived right around the corner from me for a long time, was a joy to spend time with. From her I learned about the gardens – food and recipes, which apples were in the trees, and such. I was grateful to spend a lot of time with her and eventually to help her with many things. I have always been grateful for their many blessings in my life.
My grandfather, Wilfred, was a fantastic man. He was born in Barbados in a time of abject poverty. He made his way to Panama, where many Afro-Caribbean people had gone to assist in building the canal. He became bilingual in adulthood and taught science in the canal zone in both languages. There, he met my grandmother, who was born in Panama. In his early adulthood, he began to teach himself photography. He was deeply intrigued by the chemical processes because of his scientific background. They immigrated to the US, where he became a professional UN photographer. He was gregarious, sophisticated, and a bit of a philanderer. I learned from him that people are complicated, and you can be a great person but not necessarily a great spouse. However, he gave my mother, who passed to me, a zest for life and a unique sense of adventure for his time. He transcended the idea that Black people should stay in their lane.
Love your story! A challenge for sure for his loved ones!
He sounds amazing (and challenging for your grandmother). Thank you for sharing his story.
He was a source of great joy for us and great stress for her.
Thanks for this inspiring entry, Avril. Would love to have known him.
I am extremely grateful. I needed that memory stirred in my heart. He really loved me. I loved him right back!
My mother, grandparents, my ex.