A ton! We don’t all have to be the exact same people. I can’t stand how controlling some people are where they feel everyone has to be like them — now that doesn’t mean you hang out all the time with people drastically different than you but the world is big enough for a huge diversity of people IF people are willing to believe diversity is not threatening and that your neighbor doesn’t have to be a carbon copy of you.
I guess the people I lock heads with the most think everything has a formula, you are 25 and you do this, you are 35 and you do this — you weigh this much, you have this many kids, this country is the best, these customs are the best, it’s just like this way of thinking that there is only one way. But the world needs people who are more rigid and closed and they are good at all kinds of things and consistency and doing well in places that require rigid adherence to rules and for that I am grateful as you need people who can supply that energy to the world. Even if I’m not really going to find that a very enjoyable person to spend a lot of time around haha.
What a difficult question. My answer has something theoretical about it. The way I would like to see it:
the openness and courage to stand by your own opinion
the interest in the world, to engage with it
the individuality, uniqueness as part of life
the perhaps surprising perspective for me
the exchange about it,
the joy of the shared experience
I really liked your answer Barba, especially when it comes to engaging with the world around us. I find myself to be passive and I recognized life is worthy of living when you play as an active participant. 🧡
Hi Jenifer, yes, I am the passive one too and I hate it.
That is why I don’t like to look at other perspectives than mine. But I also know, this is the best way to miss half of the world and life. Step by step, we will learn to look more
The Love which is with them always, as it is with you and me also. To let this shine through different perspectives allows Inclusion to be sensed then, and possibly healing. Thank you for this question, and your posts.
This question stumped me at first. I think about the different people who have left in my life and how we each view each other and our friendships/relationship/experience differently from one another. Although I may never hear from them again, I still very much appreciate each and everyone of them and their presence in my life. The love and care we shared is always with me, and as the Native American writer Linda Hogan says “you are the result of the love of thousands”. I also think of the poem Everlasting by David Whyte who shared it in the Grateful Grief course that’s offered on this site. I strongly recommend it! I learned a lot about how to navigate and honor my grief through that course and Being on this site really has transformed me In so many ways and I really am thankful for those who continuously post and share your thoughts and comments, it feels so loving to be in this sacred space.
There are people
who cannot be met on certain beliefs and principles . . .
with these people
I try to find common ground that is less conflicted,
and find bonding there . . .
for instance,
I have a very dear friend,
who I call my surrogate son.
We have diametrically opposing points of view,
but we both believe in the spirituality of Nature,
and can talk for hours about gardening
and nurturing our planet.
He is also very much a helper,
and has tremendous compassion for humanity.
We focus
on what draws us together,
and not what tears us apart.
Many people come to mind, especially during an election year. I have realized not to engage in the right or wrong evaluation of their political perspective–but rather by the depth of their kindness to me and others. How do they relate to others in their daily lives? That is how I measure my appreciation.
Update: The gathering to celebrate my sister’s life was beautiful and I was humbled by the turnout of both family and friends. Lots of memories were shared and a few tears were shed. I felt my sister’s kind and compassionate spirit there.
My sister-in-law is very conservative politically, and we differ greatly. However, she is one of the kindest and most thoughtful people I know. I appreciate so many of her fine qualities, so I am able to overlook the politics. It has been a good lesson for me!
Similar experience here. (And my SIL has changed perspective in recent years, which shows you’re never too old to learn, haha.) Once upon a time we clashed, but more recently I’ve felt more connected to her than to another immediate family member who shares a lot more with me in a political sense but doesn’t communicate with me at all. A reminder that humans are complex and multi-faceted.
My dear friend Juliet & I do not see eye to eye on many things, however for me it is very simple, I appreciate her friendship. We go back many years & I value our shared history as well as her love of art & museums, which is 1 of my passions too. I have learned much from her & vice versa.
Happy Beautiful Sunday Summer Day All🌅☀️
Peace…🕊️
Now this is a good and difficult practice.
I immediately think of someone that has
very different views than my own.
In fact, I would say, lives in a different reality.
And maybe the thing I can appreciate, is that
I am reminded that we make our own worlds.
Making sense of our situations. Putting
together a narrative. We all do it. Even me,
in my righteousness. The world is more like
an abstract or impressionist painting and
we are all left to interpret it through our
own eyes and minds. I guess we are all doing
the best we can.
I consider myself a decent listener and try to see the perspective of the other person. I appreciate that they would voice their thoughts, knowing I may/ will differ. I appreciate the courage that it may take to express and I appreciate my courage to listen and be respectful.
I initially thought of one specific person when I read the question, but it’s really everyone in my life with different perspectives than my own. As a lifelong learner, I value what others can teach me. This ties in with today’s quote about understanding oneself to achieve inner peace—a reminder to be grateful for those who actively or passively help us along this path.
My husband has a different perspective than I do on quite a few things. I appreciate that he helps me see things differently, opening my mind to other ways of thinking and doing things. We balance each other out, which makes our marriage work well! I’m so glad our paths came together as one.
My mind suddenly recalled that person is my mother-in-law. She and I have many agreements and common thoughts, but there is one thing where her perspective is different from mine: positivity. To me, not all things that happen in my life are under my control. So, instead of trying to escape, I live with acceptance. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, believes that with positivity, you have the power to change the outcome of situations. For example, I think that since my mind wasn’t initially born for logical thinking, no matter how hard I try, I will never succeed in math. The same goes for singing; if you don’t have an inborn talent, despite how much effort you put in, you can only compare yourself to your previous self, and your voice will never be as perfect as a singer’s. Whereas, to my mother-in-law, the more effort you put in, the more success you will achieve. I used to think that this wasn’t a sign of a positive mindset, but naivety. However, as I recall the time when my mother-in-law kept the family in a positive mode during the time my father-in-law was dealing with cancer, and then, when my father-in-law started the process of maintenance, my mother-in-law started to fight cancer herself, I realized that my perspective is narrow. The positivity in my mother-in-law has saved my family during difficult times. I must learn from her because, for sure, I may sooner or later deal with life challenges myself.
This brings me up to my Writing and Research class in 2014 all the way back to my college days. Literature is not my original forte. Even my mom didn’t believe that I’d be able to get an A in that class let alone me no matter how much effort I may put in even with some help on the side from my brother, Dinh, and mainly Sister-In-Law, Tracy. Somehow, I ended up getting an A.
Paw Mu is the first person who jumps out. There are so many things about her I appreciate when looking back. Here’s the core 4.
1. Getting me to step out of my comfort zone
2. Looking past my feelings and desires to give me what I need
3. Implementing traditional values of family and culture.
4. Going great lengths to care for me even if I didn’t feel comfortable opening up at the time
Here are some honorable mensions.
1. Getting me to just do whatever’s right or try new things without coming in with the mindset of gaining or expecting a return on investments pulling a page out of the Shunryu Suzuki book
2. Making me look past: rebelion, resentment, and the eye to realize how similar I am to her from the core
3. Appreciate simpler pleasures like interacting with members on this website
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A ton! We don’t all have to be the exact same people. I can’t stand how controlling some people are where they feel everyone has to be like them — now that doesn’t mean you hang out all the time with people drastically different than you but the world is big enough for a huge diversity of people IF people are willing to believe diversity is not threatening and that your neighbor doesn’t have to be a carbon copy of you.
I guess the people I lock heads with the most think everything has a formula, you are 25 and you do this, you are 35 and you do this — you weigh this much, you have this many kids, this country is the best, these customs are the best, it’s just like this way of thinking that there is only one way. But the world needs people who are more rigid and closed and they are good at all kinds of things and consistency and doing well in places that require rigid adherence to rules and for that I am grateful as you need people who can supply that energy to the world. Even if I’m not really going to find that a very enjoyable person to spend a lot of time around haha.
I honor & respect everyone’s opinions but also state in my opinion if it differs and make sure I add ” In my opinion”
What a difficult question. My answer has something theoretical about it. The way I would like to see it:
the openness and courage to stand by your own opinion
the interest in the world, to engage with it
the individuality, uniqueness as part of life
the perhaps surprising perspective for me
the exchange about it,
the joy of the shared experience
I really liked your answer Barba, especially when it comes to engaging with the world around us. I find myself to be passive and I recognized life is worthy of living when you play as an active participant. 🧡
Hi Jenifer, yes, I am the passive one too and I hate it.
That is why I don’t like to look at other perspectives than mine. But I also know, this is the best way to miss half of the world and life. Step by step, we will learn to look more
The Love which is with them always, as it is with you and me also. To let this shine through different perspectives allows Inclusion to be sensed then, and possibly healing. Thank you for this question, and your posts.
This question stumped me at first. I think about the different people who have left in my life and how we each view each other and our friendships/relationship/experience differently from one another. Although I may never hear from them again, I still very much appreciate each and everyone of them and their presence in my life. The love and care we shared is always with me, and as the Native American writer Linda Hogan says “you are the result of the love of thousands”. I also think of the poem Everlasting by David Whyte who shared it in the Grateful Grief course that’s offered on this site. I strongly recommend it! I learned a lot about how to navigate and honor my grief through that course and Being on this site really has transformed me In so many ways and I really am thankful for those who continuously post and share your thoughts and comments, it feels so loving to be in this sacred space.
Link to poem: https://grateful.org/resource/everlasting/
There are people
who cannot be met on certain beliefs and principles . . .
with these people
I try to find common ground that is less conflicted,
and find bonding there . . .
for instance,
I have a very dear friend,
who I call my surrogate son.
We have diametrically opposing points of view,
but we both believe in the spirituality of Nature,
and can talk for hours about gardening
and nurturing our planet.
He is also very much a helper,
and has tremendous compassion for humanity.
We focus
on what draws us together,
and not what tears us apart.
A beautiful answer.
Good to see you here, Sparrow!
Many people come to mind, especially during an election year. I have realized not to engage in the right or wrong evaluation of their political perspective–but rather by the depth of their kindness to me and others. How do they relate to others in their daily lives? That is how I measure my appreciation.
Update: The gathering to celebrate my sister’s life was beautiful and I was humbled by the turnout of both family and friends. Lots of memories were shared and a few tears were shed. I felt my sister’s kind and compassionate spirit there.
Thank you for the update. I am glad it turned out so favorably.
With tge love I “hear” in your posts, it could only be good.
I am so pleased,
dear Carol,
that your gathering was so nurturing…
for everyone.
My sister-in-law is very conservative politically, and we differ greatly. However, she is one of the kindest and most thoughtful people I know. I appreciate so many of her fine qualities, so I am able to overlook the politics. It has been a good lesson for me!
Similar experience here. (And my SIL has changed perspective in recent years, which shows you’re never too old to learn, haha.) Once upon a time we clashed, but more recently I’ve felt more connected to her than to another immediate family member who shares a lot more with me in a political sense but doesn’t communicate with me at all. A reminder that humans are complex and multi-faceted.
Yes, they are, Barb!
My dear friend Juliet & I do not see eye to eye on many things, however for me it is very simple, I appreciate her friendship. We go back many years & I value our shared history as well as her love of art & museums, which is 1 of my passions too. I have learned much from her & vice versa.
Happy Beautiful Sunday Summer Day All🌅☀️
Peace…🕊️
Now this is a good and difficult practice.
I immediately think of someone that has
very different views than my own.
In fact, I would say, lives in a different reality.
And maybe the thing I can appreciate, is that
I am reminded that we make our own worlds.
Making sense of our situations. Putting
together a narrative. We all do it. Even me,
in my righteousness. The world is more like
an abstract or impressionist painting and
we are all left to interpret it through our
own eyes and minds. I guess we are all doing
the best we can.
The comment about the world as an Impressionist painting is a reminder that we all have a somewhat blurry view.
I consider myself a decent listener and try to see the perspective of the other person. I appreciate that they would voice their thoughts, knowing I may/ will differ. I appreciate the courage that it may take to express and I appreciate my courage to listen and be respectful.
I initially thought of one specific person when I read the question, but it’s really everyone in my life with different perspectives than my own. As a lifelong learner, I value what others can teach me. This ties in with today’s quote about understanding oneself to achieve inner peace—a reminder to be grateful for those who actively or passively help us along this path.
My husband has a different perspective than I do on quite a few things. I appreciate that he helps me see things differently, opening my mind to other ways of thinking and doing things. We balance each other out, which makes our marriage work well! I’m so glad our paths came together as one.
My mind suddenly recalled that person is my mother-in-law. She and I have many agreements and common thoughts, but there is one thing where her perspective is different from mine: positivity. To me, not all things that happen in my life are under my control. So, instead of trying to escape, I live with acceptance. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, believes that with positivity, you have the power to change the outcome of situations. For example, I think that since my mind wasn’t initially born for logical thinking, no matter how hard I try, I will never succeed in math. The same goes for singing; if you don’t have an inborn talent, despite how much effort you put in, you can only compare yourself to your previous self, and your voice will never be as perfect as a singer’s. Whereas, to my mother-in-law, the more effort you put in, the more success you will achieve. I used to think that this wasn’t a sign of a positive mindset, but naivety. However, as I recall the time when my mother-in-law kept the family in a positive mode during the time my father-in-law was dealing with cancer, and then, when my father-in-law started the process of maintenance, my mother-in-law started to fight cancer herself, I realized that my perspective is narrow. The positivity in my mother-in-law has saved my family during difficult times. I must learn from her because, for sure, I may sooner or later deal with life challenges myself.
This brings me up to my Writing and Research class in 2014 all the way back to my college days. Literature is not my original forte. Even my mom didn’t believe that I’d be able to get an A in that class let alone me no matter how much effort I may put in even with some help on the side from my brother, Dinh, and mainly Sister-In-Law, Tracy. Somehow, I ended up getting an A.
Paw Mu is the first person who jumps out. There are so many things about her I appreciate when looking back. Here’s the core 4.
1. Getting me to step out of my comfort zone
2. Looking past my feelings and desires to give me what I need
3. Implementing traditional values of family and culture.
4. Going great lengths to care for me even if I didn’t feel comfortable opening up at the time
Here are some honorable mensions.
1. Getting me to just do whatever’s right or try new things without coming in with the mindset of gaining or expecting a return on investments pulling a page out of the Shunryu Suzuki book
2. Making me look past: rebelion, resentment, and the eye to realize how similar I am to her from the core
3. Appreciate simpler pleasures like interacting with members on this website