Naming things in the moment, so that the feeling doesn’t turn into something that it is not, and so that other people are not creating narratives without knowing the full picture.
Also, having a supporting significant other who accepts my range of emotion.
Taking time to listen to myself and my body and remind myself that I have many who support me and will never judge. I’m grateful for my social and familial support.
FEELING them. I often find myself trying to intellectualize my feelings, however, sometimes feelings are just feelings. Not everyday is going to be rainbows and butterflies, never has been and never will be. But looking for the good and fully accepting reality as it is, the bad and good, helps me honor my feelings and my life, kind of a full circle moment. I have found reflection and acknowledgement of my feelings have let me move past them and accept them fully as they are. I love to journal and connect with my friends as well.
What Dolores wrote resonates with me. I grew up in a family that did not express feelings very well. I always thought it had something to do with my parent’s families. I felt stifled and closed down about expressing feelings growing up. I have heard this from some of my other friends in High school as well. That generation just did not express feelings well or they were just in survival mode in their family units that there was no time to express feelings. It isn’t healthy though. Over time I have found comfort in expressing my thoughts and feeling with a few deep souls and also on this site. Thank you for this question!
Robin Ann I empathize with the no show of family feelings. It may have something to do with being born during, right before or right after the Great Depression. Times were tough, then WWII, then Korea and then the cold war with Russia, and some people became even harder. Just a thought.
Yes, I know the Great Depression affected my Dad’s family, his father lost his Banking job and his Mother (my Nana) went to work FT as a Secretary but did very well after a while. He has shared a lot w/me but not until later in life.
I honour my feelings as much as they deserve,
but they are often connected with my ego,
which wants to rule the roost,
so I find that when I sort them out,
I can let go of the ones
that are not connected to the real me . . .
ego is not the true self.
Feelings are not truth they are almost always based on what thoughts are popping up in my mind. Therefore I watch my mind and let of of all of the thoughts that are very often negative. There is a Stanford study that says we have over 60,000 thoughts a day 95% of them are repetitive and 85% are negative from the day before. This should help tell us all something that our thoughts are not truth. Follow Truth and let them go ! This is what is amazing!
My background. Culturally I am of Middle Eastern background. We are expressive, to understate.
Second is my mother and her siblings. You always knew what she was thinking and feeling. I had a sometimes difficult relationship with her. My husband (of Irish background) found her refreshing – one never knew what his mother was thinking or feeling. It made me see my mother through new eyes and to realize what a gift she gave me. I have since become aware of many others.
BTW, re today’s quote, for those who are not aware, Corazon means “heart” on Spanish.
Thank you for explaining what that word means : ) and your comments about your family and your husbands. Very interesting! My family has a lot of Irish heritage and I can relate to your husband’s family since mine was similar!
Acceptance. Accepting and stating my feelings out loud helps me address that they are there and what they are. If I don’t address them directly it may dwell within me.
Great response, Carissa. There’s only so much we can keep inside. I’ve been there, and have done that before. The more I tried to hold my tongue, the more it came out more aggressively than expected and in the wrong places.
Chanel, thanks for this reminder. I need the discipline to establish the quiet time to sit with my feelings and reflect and create greater self-awarenwss.
Chanel, my wife introduced me a meditation App forcalled soothing pod a year ago. They have many meditation exercises for different sessions. There’s a section each for: bedtime stories, music, and sounds for sleeping. I find the App really helpful. If meditation is what you need, I recommend you to check it out.
Could you clarify, please, Carly? I am helping to lead a discernment process at our church (Episcopalian) amnd I suspect I have a different understanding of the word.
E
This is a good question, as I am
only now learning to recognize and
name my feelings. To see them and
try to evaluate them for what they
are. Feelings. Therapy, reading, and
openly talking to trusted allies, is
helping me to dig underneath these
feelings and see what’s really going
on and what is the trigger for these
thoughts and feelings. Pasts hurts and
traumas (small t) still effect me on a
day to day basis, but I am better able to
see them for what they are and their
history.
Charlie, I’m glad you’re able to open up. I totally understand. It’s hard to sit down with our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them. Even though I embrace freedom of expression, not that I would ever do it, I also believe that opening up in the wrong settings will lead to our emotions being used against us. Being a 2nd generation Vietnamese American, I’m all to familiar with establishing a can-do mindset and turning all that into achieving goals. Of all the 9 ennielgram types, welcome to the world of a 3.
Willingness…Acceptance…mindfulness…giving in instead of giving up…forsaking the duality that says for me to win, someone or something has to lose. Grateful Living is the key to all these practices.
Carol, I heard of a saying from the darknight. “Either you die a hero or live to see yourself become a villen.” From my understanding, it reminds me of what you just said about how some things need to give and that we don’t need to win every battle. I’ve also heard the saying “Lose the battle; win the war” encouraging us to pick and choose our battles wisely. For me, I already have a feeling of how my values and modern society going in opposite directions. The door gets shown in many ways. it’s better to resign than get kicked out. The ladder often occurs invisably.
For me, I decided to shift my focus from using my voice to be an advocate to just living a simple lifestyle. Regardless of the outcome, I’m content with the effort I put in and my contributions for both people with autism and other forms of mental illnesses. Whether I’m well liked or not is beside the point. Reflecting back, I can at least say that I: spoke the truth in a gentler manner, came in well-prepared, thought for myself, and knew my time.
Carol, this makes sense. Beliefs can get controversial like the wild animals fighting in the forest. With faith, we put in the work and let the chips fall where they may.
I am having difficulty answering this question today- I guess I would say my inner self- my mind is my support. I have my husband who supports me- but my feelings are my responsibility- something that I alone have to deal with. Of course getting other’s opinions and perspectives are very helpful. I also rely on my faith and prayer.
Thanks, Nannette. I believe we’re on the same page. Even though there are supportive people around us, we’re always the ones who directly deal with our personal issues.
Nannette, I love the part about you mentioning your inner self as a support. Ultimately, we’re the ones who understand ourselves the best. Even with our spouses, there’s still more than plenty of conflict. It’s 2 people coming from different backgrounds and showing up in each others lives 20-30 years or so later. Finding sinergy takes time.
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
Naming things in the moment, so that the feeling doesn’t turn into something that it is not, and so that other people are not creating narratives without knowing the full picture.
Also, having a supporting significant other who accepts my range of emotion.
Taking time to listen to myself and my body and remind myself that I have many who support me and will never judge. I’m grateful for my social and familial support.
FEELING them. I often find myself trying to intellectualize my feelings, however, sometimes feelings are just feelings. Not everyday is going to be rainbows and butterflies, never has been and never will be. But looking for the good and fully accepting reality as it is, the bad and good, helps me honor my feelings and my life, kind of a full circle moment. I have found reflection and acknowledgement of my feelings have let me move past them and accept them fully as they are. I love to journal and connect with my friends as well.
What Dolores wrote resonates with me. I grew up in a family that did not express feelings very well. I always thought it had something to do with my parent’s families. I felt stifled and closed down about expressing feelings growing up. I have heard this from some of my other friends in High school as well. That generation just did not express feelings well or they were just in survival mode in their family units that there was no time to express feelings. It isn’t healthy though. Over time I have found comfort in expressing my thoughts and feeling with a few deep souls and also on this site. Thank you for this question!
G;ad to hear my comment was useful.
Robin Ann I empathize with the no show of family feelings. It may have something to do with being born during, right before or right after the Great Depression. Times were tough, then WWII, then Korea and then the cold war with Russia, and some people became even harder. Just a thought.
Yes, I know the Great Depression affected my Dad’s family, his father lost his Banking job and his Mother (my Nana) went to work FT as a Secretary but did very well after a while. He has shared a lot w/me but not until later in life.
I honour my feelings as much as they deserve,
but they are often connected with my ego,
which wants to rule the roost,
so I find that when I sort them out,
I can let go of the ones
that are not connected to the real me . . .
ego is not the true self.
Feelings are not truth they are almost always based on what thoughts are popping up in my mind. Therefore I watch my mind and let of of all of the thoughts that are very often negative. There is a Stanford study that says we have over 60,000 thoughts a day 95% of them are repetitive and 85% are negative from the day before. This should help tell us all something that our thoughts are not truth. Follow Truth and let them go ! This is what is amazing!
Antoinette, as a logical thinker myself, I can resignate with this. Very well said.
Wonderful comments,
dear Antoinette . . .
so refreshing!
My background. Culturally I am of Middle Eastern background. We are expressive, to understate.
Second is my mother and her siblings. You always knew what she was thinking and feeling. I had a sometimes difficult relationship with her. My husband (of Irish background) found her refreshing – one never knew what his mother was thinking or feeling. It made me see my mother through new eyes and to realize what a gift she gave me. I have since become aware of many others.
BTW, re today’s quote, for those who are not aware, Corazon means “heart” on Spanish.
Hi Dolores! I love how your husband’s perspective differed from yours and helped shift yours in a positive way. How awesome to hear.
Thank you for explaining what that word means : ) and your comments about your family and your husbands. Very interesting! My family has a lot of Irish heritage and I can relate to your husband’s family since mine was similar!
Acceptance. Accepting and stating my feelings out loud helps me address that they are there and what they are. If I don’t address them directly it may dwell within me.
Great response, Carissa. There’s only so much we can keep inside. I’ve been there, and have done that before. The more I tried to hold my tongue, the more it came out more aggressively than expected and in the wrong places.
Thanks Loc! I totally agree. If I hold it in and pretend it doesn’t exist it will come out unwillingly and unfairly later.
Right now, it’s wise mind and emotional integration. I have to learn how to get in touch with my feelings and express them in a healthy manner.
Once again, the Word of the Day helps keep me in check.
“Keep inviolate an area of light and peace within you.”— CORAZON AQUINO
To honor the full spectrum of my feelings, I need to sit with them. I need that quiet time with myself.
I also need meditation in my life, so I can achieve peace, greater self-awareness, and wholeness.
Chanel, thanks for this reminder. I need the discipline to establish the quiet time to sit with my feelings and reflect and create greater self-awarenwss.
Namaste
Chanel, my wife introduced me a meditation App forcalled soothing pod a year ago. They have many meditation exercises for different sessions. There’s a section each for: bedtime stories, music, and sounds for sleeping. I find the App really helpful. If meditation is what you need, I recommend you to check it out.
Wil definitely check this out. Thanks for the tip
Thank you, Loc. I’ll check it out.
Discernment. Sometimes I have better luck with it than other times.
Could you clarify, please, Carly? I am helping to lead a discernment process at our church (Episcopalian) amnd I suspect I have a different understanding of the word.
E
This is a good question, as I am
only now learning to recognize and
name my feelings. To see them and
try to evaluate them for what they
are. Feelings. Therapy, reading, and
openly talking to trusted allies, is
helping me to dig underneath these
feelings and see what’s really going
on and what is the trigger for these
thoughts and feelings. Pasts hurts and
traumas (small t) still effect me on a
day to day basis, but I am better able to
see them for what they are and their
history.
Charlie, I’m glad you’re able to open up. I totally understand. It’s hard to sit down with our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them. Even though I embrace freedom of expression, not that I would ever do it, I also believe that opening up in the wrong settings will lead to our emotions being used against us. Being a 2nd generation Vietnamese American, I’m all to familiar with establishing a can-do mindset and turning all that into achieving goals. Of all the 9 ennielgram types, welcome to the world of a 3.
My life and the happenings in and around me. The love of my husband.
Sunnypatti, I’m happy for you. Having an understanding partner goes a long ways.
Willingness…Acceptance…mindfulness…giving in instead of giving up…forsaking the duality that says for me to win, someone or something has to lose. Grateful Living is the key to all these practices.
Carol, I heard of a saying from the darknight. “Either you die a hero or live to see yourself become a villen.” From my understanding, it reminds me of what you just said about how some things need to give and that we don’t need to win every battle. I’ve also heard the saying “Lose the battle; win the war” encouraging us to pick and choose our battles wisely. For me, I already have a feeling of how my values and modern society going in opposite directions. The door gets shown in many ways. it’s better to resign than get kicked out. The ladder often occurs invisably.
For me, I decided to shift my focus from using my voice to be an advocate to just living a simple lifestyle. Regardless of the outcome, I’m content with the effort I put in and my contributions for both people with autism and other forms of mental illnesses. Whether I’m well liked or not is beside the point. Reflecting back, I can at least say that I: spoke the truth in a gentler manner, came in well-prepared, thought for myself, and knew my time.
“Belief clings. Faith let’s go.” Alan Watts
Carol, this makes sense. Beliefs can get controversial like the wild animals fighting in the forest. With faith, we put in the work and let the chips fall where they may.
72+ years of life experience. The Wisdom People in my life – my Daughters, Spiritual Directors, Family across the board.
I am having difficulty answering this question today- I guess I would say my inner self- my mind is my support. I have my husband who supports me- but my feelings are my responsibility- something that I alone have to deal with. Of course getting other’s opinions and perspectives are very helpful. I also rely on my faith and prayer.
Thanks, Nannette. I believe we’re on the same page. Even though there are supportive people around us, we’re always the ones who directly deal with our personal issues.
Nannette, I love the part about you mentioning your inner self as a support. Ultimately, we’re the ones who understand ourselves the best. Even with our spouses, there’s still more than plenty of conflict. It’s 2 people coming from different backgrounds and showing up in each others lives 20-30 years or so later. Finding sinergy takes time.