Doris Zölls: self-love, belonging
Jürgen Kuhn: I am responsible for myself
my mother: fear and hate are the worst advisors
my husband: have values and fill them with life
Everyone I meet is my teacher . Whatever is coming up in my mind when I am with others teaches me more about what I need to let go of. I would be lying if I said anything different.
I judge and discern 24/7 ans I need to recall and Repent these mines. The greatest teacher si meditation because we can see the falseness of our selfishness.
I’m so grateful to be able to let go and do what Christians would say give to to god . I am now letting go constantly due to meditation. I meditate many hours a day to recall, reflect and repent/ let go of all my minds.
The Truth is the universe/ god or whatever world you choose and I am false. Today I let go of a lot of pride and I’m so grateful that I was able to see myself who holds onto my self-righteousness and pride.
First an update. I have been in the hospital now in rehab. I fell and broke my femur in two places. Had to have surgery. They are hopeful that I will be able to walk again then I get to go home.
With respect to the question I have gotten so many pieces of good advice from so many different people. But one stands out. A dear friend and one-time supervisor who I worked with to create a new municipal agency to serve the preschoolers of NYC. One of my favorites “Choose your battles.”
Yes, “Choose your battles!” Some things aren’t worth falling on your sword! Sending loving energy your way as you focus on rehab. Glad to have you back on this site.
I often mention my mom in particular, and sometimes my dad, as wonderful teachers and models of how to be. I talk about Dad less often because he was pretty quiet and many of my direct lessons and stories came from Mom, but he too showed me how to be steady and reliable and do what needs to be done even if you don’t particularly enjoy it. Mom taught me kindness, empathy, inclusion, staying positive when things get tough, and many practical skills of cooking, sewing, preserving food, taking care of a household, making do with what’s on hand.
I recently gave a talk to participants in a mentoring program at work on the people who have been mentors in my life. That isn’t everyone I’ve learned from but it’s a start. I chose people from different parts of my life.
– My high school band instructor, for drilling us relentlessly and helping me recognize that each small part is essential to add up to the whole.
– Political mentors in my time as an elected official who taught me practical politics (this was before politics became as poisonous as it is today) and how to pay attention to everyone because each of us has a story.
– A boss and colleagues at one of my early professional positions that turned into nearly 15 years of growth and accomplishment.
– Many, many people, especially women and gender-expansive leaders of color, who have helped me grow in my understanding of equity in the transportation realm and how much that’s shaped by systemic and structural biases. That’s my professional world now and I’ve found my calling.
I’ve been very fortunate to have many, many teachers. I hope to honor their gifts through my work and how I lead my life.
Barb, that sounds like the standard family in the old days. Mom was more vocal. Dad was more of the tough lover. There are countless stories on how the kid just needed to suck it up, get out of the way, and play outside if dad needed to use the computer or switched the channel on tv to his favorite tv shows unexpectedly.
I’ve never really had a mentor or someone
to give me sage advice, but I will say that
I have learned lessons from so many people.
How to do things and how not to do things.
How to live and how not to live. In fact,
I think some of the most important lessons
came from observing people making poor
choices and observing their negative
behaviors. There are examples everywhere.
Five years ago I met someone at a pivotal
moment for me, and observing the way he
interacted with people, changed my life.
His kindness with people that were in a
very chaotic and fragile moment, gave me
an example of how to be more brave with my
compassion.
Like many of you have said, there have been so many. I have had so many “hardships” during this journey of life. I have been asked how can you be so positive and happy. It is an unknown presence that dwells with in. I think I have stockpiled the goodness of people, situations, and resources into the gifts I have today.
I kind of stole that phrase from Jan Novotka, and twisted it.
She has a song:The presence has no name.
I have taken that up as a name for My God.
Thank you for the kind words.
I’m grateful for an acquaintance who taught me to reexamine things and not to accept past assumptions just because that’s how things were done before. Tradition is peer pressure from dead people. We should forge our own path, be present in the now, and examine and react to the reality of the present.
Barb and Patrick, as someone who’s a cross between cultures and old and new school, I see where you’re going with this. Unfortunately, people get a lot of things wrong. It’s human impurity all over again. What people call “tradition” is actually “attachment.” Tradition and attachment do fall under the same roof. If it works, it’s tradition. If not, it’s attachment. My line is “Attachment is peer pressure from dead people.”
There have been many important teachers in my life – lessons of kindness, love, gratefulness, organizational skills, work skills, calmness.
I love today’s Word For The Day Quote -> “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
— H. H. the 14th Dalai Lama
There are many teachers in my life, and they have all been important! Lots of family members. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I’ve learned lots of life lessons from them – love of family, love of God, examples of how treating people good reflects on and effects your life, and also how treating people poorly does the same. People I’ve worked with have been great teachers. My former bosses introduced me to Louise Hay, A Course in Miracles and other great authors whose books had a tremendous effect on my life. Another helped me find my love for cheese, which blossomed into me running the cheese department at Whole Foods for some years. I might not have met my soulmate and husband if I didn’t go there for work!
Cheese as love language–perfect. If you’ve never tasted Cougar Gold cheese from Washington State University you need to, Sunnypatti. Years ago it received 99 points out of 100 in the world cheese competition aged white cheddar category. It’s fabulous. I’m slightly biased since I graduated from WSU. https://creamery.wsu.edu/cougar-cheese/
(I’ve tried the other cheeses made at the creamery, which is staffed by students. They’re fine but not as amazing.)
I’ve heard of Cougar Gold! It’s weird to me that it comes in a can, but I would for sure try it! I love cheese of all kinds but lean more towards softer styles… one of my all-time favorites is Jasper Hill Farms’ Harbison. It’s a spruce-wrapped bloomy rind cheese that is so divine!
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back! Thank you.
1
2 weeks ago
sunnypatti
Bloomy rind cheeses are soft-ripened, younger than your cheddars, goudas, etc. The soft and delicate bries along with those like Harbison. Harbison is, quite literally, wrapped in a piece of spruce which tends to the flavor as the cheese ripens. It’s a bit stinky, but not on the palate! I have loved it for years. I took a wheel to a family gathering, and my brother ate almost the entire thing by himself! From the producer – https://www.jasperhillfarm.com/harbison and from my favorite cheesy magazine – https://culturecheesemag.com/cheese-library/Harbison
bon appetit!
1
2 weeks ago
Josie
People in recovery have been such significant teachers in my life over the past 30+ years.
My special thanks to Joseph, our Daily Reflection friend here, for being the latest in a line of significant teachers who inspire me to continue my own recovery journey. Namaste, Joseph. Happy Sunday, all.
Oh, so many teachers… I wish I could remember who in my life modeled, or taught me the true value of listening. Just listening to witness another’s joy, concern, request, opinion, question, anger, whatever it might be. That ability has opened a lot of doors to me; insight, compassion, fun, relationships, all enriched because of the desire to listen. So to all those who listened to me, and made me feel like I was the only persons in the world in that moment, thank you!
My spiritual director, a Catholic teacher and wonderful friend for many years was an important teacher in my life. She passed on so much kindness and pathways to wonder in the world. I greatly appreciated her everyday practicality, as well as her sense of humor. A gift in my life.
I have had so many. Some I knew personally. Others taught me with their writings. Two that immediately come to mind are both priests. One, Fr. Jim Adams, was an episcopal priest. The other, Fr. Richard Rohr is a Roman Catholic priest. Fr. Adams was my counselor and mentor for over 27 years.
When I met Fr. Adams, I told him, I did not want to talk about God and definitely not Jesus for Christ’s sake. After several years of counseling in which he never mentioned God, I told him I was ready to talk about God. He did not attempt to define God for me. Instead, he introduced me to the daily office and urged me to create a space in my home where I could read the daily readings not looking for answers but letting the word work in me. What a blessing that ritual, which was very hard for me at first, became. It led me to journaling and writing meditations and poetry. I was changing from within.
I was introduced to Fr. Richard Rohr through his books and the greatest gift he gave me was the importance of reading scripture metaphorically. He taught me that the Bible is not a history book but rather a book of faith sharing and many stories in both the OT and NT are not necessarily meant to be taken literally. The introduction of metaphor when reading the scriptures has contribute immensely to my personal growth.
Currently, my teacher is my son. I learn something from him every time I am in his presence.
This is such an inspiring, well-written reflection, Carol. Fr. Richard Rohr’s reflection today is reminding of so much wisdom in Scripture & the Twelve Steps.
Josie, My son has been here all morning but I will definitely be reading Richard’s meditation this afternoon. He has written a book about the spirituality of the 12 Steps called “Breathing Under Water.”.
Paw Mu was an important teacher in my life even though she was a friend, because her maturity was light years ahead of me. She taught me a lot of lessons. One in particular is to honor tradition. Yes, psychiatrists have helped me with my mental health struggles over the years with an ever increasing number of special cases like me benefiting under the new regime. Being under her tutelage makes me grateful to have conservative roots. Conservitism teaches virtues, values, and brings stability. Liberalism requires a good head over our shoulders for purity. The ladder is meant to benefit special cases like me and replace what no longer serves us to make a difference.
Somehow this is a very difficult question for me…I have trouble identifying who this teacher or teachers may have been. My Mom was my earliest teacher…a woman with very limited formal education, from an Irish/Catholic family and upbringing. My Mom always showed me her love, and her kindness. She taught me…as I watched how to cook…a skill I use every day. I was taught much by the nuns and a few lay teachers in Catholic school…some good and some not so good. I learned from them…that I was less than other students…I did not come from money, my parents were not professionals…they could barely pay my $10 a month tuition…if it was late..I was asked “Nannette, where is your tutiion” in front of my class! I was a child! So my lessons varied, I learned love, and kindness, and goodness…and also that people could be cruel. As I traveled through my years and to various schools, and meeting folks from all over…I ahve learned that we all have goodness inside of us- we don;t always share that goodness. If we just look at our fellow man and realize we are all the same- no matter what our walks or positions are in life. Show and teach love and kindness. May God Bless You all or whoever or whatever is your belief…and May the Sun give you rays of happiness.
I agree with Mary and Butterfly’s statement of having people in my life who taught me the very important lessons of how NOT to be.
I’m glad you are part of this Community and I learn from you too.
Nannette, your post reminds me that we so often think of our important teachers as ones who pass on virtuous gifts. However, people can gift us with examples of how we might never want to be with others, treat others. Thank you for sharing your history and what you have learned. You exemplify today’s « Word of the Day ».
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Doris Zölls: self-love, belonging
Jürgen Kuhn: I am responsible for myself
my mother: fear and hate are the worst advisors
my husband: have values and fill them with life
Everyone I meet is my teacher . Whatever is coming up in my mind when I am with others teaches me more about what I need to let go of. I would be lying if I said anything different.
I judge and discern 24/7 ans I need to recall and Repent these mines. The greatest teacher si meditation because we can see the falseness of our selfishness.
I’m so grateful to be able to let go and do what Christians would say give to to god . I am now letting go constantly due to meditation. I meditate many hours a day to recall, reflect and repent/ let go of all my minds.
The Truth is the universe/ god or whatever world you choose and I am false. Today I let go of a lot of pride and I’m so grateful that I was able to see myself who holds onto my self-righteousness and pride.
First an update. I have been in the hospital now in rehab. I fell and broke my femur in two places. Had to have surgery. They are hopeful that I will be able to walk again then I get to go home.
With respect to the question I have gotten so many pieces of good advice from so many different people. But one stands out. A dear friend and one-time supervisor who I worked with to create a new municipal agency to serve the preschoolers of NYC. One of my favorites “Choose your battles.”
I broke my femur about 7 years ago now. Not fun! Hang in it does improve with lots of patience! Good effort! Positivity!
Wishing you a speedy recovery Dolores:)
Oh No Dolores! Wishing your rehab goes well & sending healing thoughts your way!
Yes, “Choose your battles!” Some things aren’t worth falling on your sword! Sending loving energy your way as you focus on rehab. Glad to have you back on this site.
Thanks, Carol
I often mention my mom in particular, and sometimes my dad, as wonderful teachers and models of how to be. I talk about Dad less often because he was pretty quiet and many of my direct lessons and stories came from Mom, but he too showed me how to be steady and reliable and do what needs to be done even if you don’t particularly enjoy it. Mom taught me kindness, empathy, inclusion, staying positive when things get tough, and many practical skills of cooking, sewing, preserving food, taking care of a household, making do with what’s on hand.
I recently gave a talk to participants in a mentoring program at work on the people who have been mentors in my life. That isn’t everyone I’ve learned from but it’s a start. I chose people from different parts of my life.
– My high school band instructor, for drilling us relentlessly and helping me recognize that each small part is essential to add up to the whole.
– Political mentors in my time as an elected official who taught me practical politics (this was before politics became as poisonous as it is today) and how to pay attention to everyone because each of us has a story.
– A boss and colleagues at one of my early professional positions that turned into nearly 15 years of growth and accomplishment.
– Many, many people, especially women and gender-expansive leaders of color, who have helped me grow in my understanding of equity in the transportation realm and how much that’s shaped by systemic and structural biases. That’s my professional world now and I’ve found my calling.
I’ve been very fortunate to have many, many teachers. I hope to honor their gifts through my work and how I lead my life.
Barb, that sounds like the standard family in the old days. Mom was more vocal. Dad was more of the tough lover. There are countless stories on how the kid just needed to suck it up, get out of the way, and play outside if dad needed to use the computer or switched the channel on tv to his favorite tv shows unexpectedly.
I’ve never really had a mentor or someone
to give me sage advice, but I will say that
I have learned lessons from so many people.
How to do things and how not to do things.
How to live and how not to live. In fact,
I think some of the most important lessons
came from observing people making poor
choices and observing their negative
behaviors. There are examples everywhere.
Five years ago I met someone at a pivotal
moment for me, and observing the way he
interacted with people, changed my life.
His kindness with people that were in a
very chaotic and fragile moment, gave me
an example of how to be more brave with my
compassion.
Like many of you have said, there have been so many. I have had so many “hardships” during this journey of life. I have been asked how can you be so positive and happy. It is an unknown presence that dwells with in. I think I have stockpiled the goodness of people, situations, and resources into the gifts I have today.
Thank you, Yram. “………an unknown presence that dwells with in.” that line and the context of your reflection are words to ponder.
I kind of stole that phrase from Jan Novotka, and twisted it.
She has a song:The presence has no name.
I have taken that up as a name for My God.
Thank you for the kind words.
I’m grateful for an acquaintance who taught me to reexamine things and not to accept past assumptions just because that’s how things were done before. Tradition is peer pressure from dead people. We should forge our own path, be present in the now, and examine and react to the reality of the present.
“Tradition is peer pressure from dead people.” Great line!
I was just reading that line to my wife. Very good indeed.
Barb and Patrick, as someone who’s a cross between cultures and old and new school, I see where you’re going with this. Unfortunately, people get a lot of things wrong. It’s human impurity all over again. What people call “tradition” is actually “attachment.” Tradition and attachment do fall under the same roof. If it works, it’s tradition. If not, it’s attachment. My line is “Attachment is peer pressure from dead people.”
There have been many important teachers in my life – lessons of kindness, love, gratefulness, organizational skills, work skills, calmness.
I love today’s Word For The Day Quote -> “This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”
— H. H. the 14th Dalai Lama
There are many teachers in my life, and they have all been important! Lots of family members. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I’ve learned lots of life lessons from them – love of family, love of God, examples of how treating people good reflects on and effects your life, and also how treating people poorly does the same. People I’ve worked with have been great teachers. My former bosses introduced me to Louise Hay, A Course in Miracles and other great authors whose books had a tremendous effect on my life. Another helped me find my love for cheese, which blossomed into me running the cheese department at Whole Foods for some years. I might not have met my soulmate and husband if I didn’t go there for work!
Cheese as love language–perfect. If you’ve never tasted Cougar Gold cheese from Washington State University you need to, Sunnypatti. Years ago it received 99 points out of 100 in the world cheese competition aged white cheddar category. It’s fabulous. I’m slightly biased since I graduated from WSU. https://creamery.wsu.edu/cougar-cheese/
(I’ve tried the other cheeses made at the creamery, which is staffed by students. They’re fine but not as amazing.)
I’ve heard of Cougar Gold! It’s weird to me that it comes in a can, but I would for sure try it! I love cheese of all kinds but lean more towards softer styles… one of my all-time favorites is Jasper Hill Farms’ Harbison. It’s a spruce-wrapped bloomy rind cheese that is so divine!
I need a translator for “spruce-wrapped bloomy rind cheese” SunnyPatti!
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back! Thank you.
Bloomy rind cheeses are soft-ripened, younger than your cheddars, goudas, etc. The soft and delicate bries along with those like Harbison. Harbison is, quite literally, wrapped in a piece of spruce which tends to the flavor as the cheese ripens. It’s a bit stinky, but not on the palate! I have loved it for years. I took a wheel to a family gathering, and my brother ate almost the entire thing by himself! From the producer – https://www.jasperhillfarm.com/harbison and from my favorite cheesy magazine – https://culturecheesemag.com/cheese-library/Harbison
bon appetit!
People in recovery have been such significant teachers in my life over the past 30+ years.
My special thanks to Joseph, our Daily Reflection friend here, for being the latest in a line of significant teachers who inspire me to continue my own recovery journey. Namaste, Joseph. Happy Sunday, all.
Namaste, Josie.
Yes, I agree with you, Josie.
I have been allowed to be part of a
few friends recovery journeys, and
it has been very rewarding and
enriching. 🙏
Oh, so many teachers… I wish I could remember who in my life modeled, or taught me the true value of listening. Just listening to witness another’s joy, concern, request, opinion, question, anger, whatever it might be. That ability has opened a lot of doors to me; insight, compassion, fun, relationships, all enriched because of the desire to listen. So to all those who listened to me, and made me feel like I was the only persons in the world in that moment, thank you!
My spiritual director, a Catholic teacher and wonderful friend for many years was an important teacher in my life. She passed on so much kindness and pathways to wonder in the world. I greatly appreciated her everyday practicality, as well as her sense of humor. A gift in my life.
I have had so many. Some I knew personally. Others taught me with their writings. Two that immediately come to mind are both priests. One, Fr. Jim Adams, was an episcopal priest. The other, Fr. Richard Rohr is a Roman Catholic priest. Fr. Adams was my counselor and mentor for over 27 years.
When I met Fr. Adams, I told him, I did not want to talk about God and definitely not Jesus for Christ’s sake. After several years of counseling in which he never mentioned God, I told him I was ready to talk about God. He did not attempt to define God for me. Instead, he introduced me to the daily office and urged me to create a space in my home where I could read the daily readings not looking for answers but letting the word work in me. What a blessing that ritual, which was very hard for me at first, became. It led me to journaling and writing meditations and poetry. I was changing from within.
I was introduced to Fr. Richard Rohr through his books and the greatest gift he gave me was the importance of reading scripture metaphorically. He taught me that the Bible is not a history book but rather a book of faith sharing and many stories in both the OT and NT are not necessarily meant to be taken literally. The introduction of metaphor when reading the scriptures has contribute immensely to my personal growth.
Currently, my teacher is my son. I learn something from him every time I am in his presence.
Carol, thank you for introducing me
to Richard Rohr’s website.
It’s having a similar effect on me.
I really appreciate it. 🙏
You are most welcome.
This is such an inspiring, well-written reflection, Carol. Fr. Richard Rohr’s reflection today is reminding of so much wisdom in Scripture & the Twelve Steps.
Josie, My son has been here all morning but I will definitely be reading Richard’s meditation this afternoon. He has written a book about the spirituality of the 12 Steps called “Breathing Under Water.”.
Paw Mu was an important teacher in my life even though she was a friend, because her maturity was light years ahead of me. She taught me a lot of lessons. One in particular is to honor tradition. Yes, psychiatrists have helped me with my mental health struggles over the years with an ever increasing number of special cases like me benefiting under the new regime. Being under her tutelage makes me grateful to have conservative roots. Conservitism teaches virtues, values, and brings stability. Liberalism requires a good head over our shoulders for purity. The ladder is meant to benefit special cases like me and replace what no longer serves us to make a difference.
Somehow this is a very difficult question for me…I have trouble identifying who this teacher or teachers may have been. My Mom was my earliest teacher…a woman with very limited formal education, from an Irish/Catholic family and upbringing. My Mom always showed me her love, and her kindness. She taught me…as I watched how to cook…a skill I use every day. I was taught much by the nuns and a few lay teachers in Catholic school…some good and some not so good. I learned from them…that I was less than other students…I did not come from money, my parents were not professionals…they could barely pay my $10 a month tuition…if it was late..I was asked “Nannette, where is your tutiion” in front of my class! I was a child! So my lessons varied, I learned love, and kindness, and goodness…and also that people could be cruel. As I traveled through my years and to various schools, and meeting folks from all over…I ahve learned that we all have goodness inside of us- we don;t always share that goodness. If we just look at our fellow man and realize we are all the same- no matter what our walks or positions are in life. Show and teach love and kindness. May God Bless You all or whoever or whatever is your belief…and May the Sun give you rays of happiness.
And may the sun cast shadows amongst the trees to cool us off and create more happiness!
I agree with Mary and Butterfly’s statement of having people in my life who taught me the very important lessons of how NOT to be.
I’m glad you are part of this Community and I learn from you too.
Nannette, your post reminds me that we so often think of our important teachers as ones who pass on virtuous gifts. However, people can gift us with examples of how we might never want to be with others, treat others. Thank you for sharing your history and what you have learned. You exemplify today’s « Word of the Day ».
Nannette, You are definitely an important teacher in my life. Thank you.