Who in my life makes me feel like my truest self?

I was born into my true self
but I learned early,
as I suppose we all do . . .
I was helpless
and dependent on others
for every aspect of my life.
It’s funny . . .
I actually remember learning–
learning how to please my caretakers
into being kind to me
and giving what I wanted.
I learned how to be lovable
so that I would be held and loved.
Otherwise,
I’d not get ‘good attention’.
I learned when to be quiet
and when to make noise,
and,
as I grew older,
if I wanted to express myself badly enough
I would behave badly
and happily take my punishment.

The first thing I was able to let go of
was the tantrum stuff,
as it got me into trouble as a young adult.
I’m learning now
how to let go of people pleasing behavior,
and it’s not as hard as I thought it would be.

Still,
I stay within my shell with most people,
being my truest self
but tamped down to a level that I think others can accept.
The closer I am to someone
the more of my true self comes out,
but it is with animals,
people in need,
and nature where I
draw the curtain back completely . . .
there is no judgment there,
no one that tells me I am not enough.
I’ve heard it so many times in my life
that I just don’t want to hear it anymore.

I know me
better than I ever have,
and where my heart lies.
I mostly know
that I am already enough.
Without having to worry about that
with those I am closest to,
my innocence returns
and I am whole. ♥