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WHO IS WAITING FOR ME TO BE KIND?
I am waiting for me to be kind to myself. My profession is being kind and supportive to others I lost supporting and caring for myself properly. With that being said I am waiting to be kind and compassionate to myself as I get back to work :). The world is also waiting however I will not give from an empty/half full cup; I will refill mine and then some to be able to support and provide myself first and others as well.
Students who are scared to come back to school
My family who is returning to “life” and need to feel safe and cared for in doing so
My husband who is starting a new job
My colleagues who are also struggling with a new curriculum and we each deal with uncertainty in different ways
Doesn’t everyone at some level, however deep, want kindness in every interaction?
Everyone, but especially my students.
Everyone I meet.
everyone you meet, whether you already know them or if later on in your life you will meet them. everyone you pass daily, everyone around you, the whole world is waiting for you to be kind to them
I woke up today to my girlfriend telling me that she had a bad dream. I gave her a huge hug and held her for a moment to let my kindness sink in. Little did I know that I would wake up today to her waiting for my kindness.
Just today, someone told me that we should catch up and go to lunch or something to talk. I agree, and I think my next act of kindness will be to find a day/time to do that.
A whingy-whiney dog who wants her own way.
The thing is kindness varies a lot by circumstance and person. Kindness to some people might be realizing they have Schizoid and prefer you not talk to them, others kindness might mean sending a text every so often checking in. Kindness as a doctor might be outright saying bluntly, you have near zero chance and your remaining couple months might be better spent with your family instead of getting painful treatments. Kindness could mean people starting to drive down the shoulder lane when the traffic is super congested if they are gonna use an upcoming offramp, that’s not the most honest but helps slightly relieve congestion. Kindness could be the things you don’t say or bring up, like your partners failures or the times they let you down. Kindness could be withholding judgment and angry stares on the dude blasting music out of his car because you don’t understand who they are, what they’ve lived through or they might even be hard of hearing … so maybe you just sit there staring ahead a bit expressionless.
Kindness takes lots of forms and they aren’t always obvious to others. Kindness is a willingness too, I think, to try to understand other’s perspectives, the things that annoy you in someone and why that person is how they are which may even mean appreciating someone is a narcissist and the best thing you can do out of kindness for them and you is to stop being so “kind” and just walk. So who is waiting for me to be kind? Probably everyone. But everyone needs different kinds of kindness, it isn’t always gonna be in the form of being super sweet and nice … sometimes kindness has teeth and is vigorous and assertive. I don’t think kindness is a one size fit all kind of thing so it requires thought, considering the person and understanding others perspective without pulling my own issues and assumptions into it and understanding their values, it’s way beyond just being nice. What is kind for me could be totally not appropriate for someone else.
My point is being kind doesn’t necessarily mean being a punching bag or doormat that’s just excessively “understanding” and milquetoast, you can actually be very kind while being very assertive and what is kind requires some level of really problem solving, really being honest about what is happening, to understand who the person is and the circumstances … and you may find the kindest course of action is not responding to someone. Kindness can have strength, can fight against someone’s stupid ideas without disconnecting from the reality they have worth and value even if you find their ideas destructive and stupid. Kindness is not the absence of conflict, of disagreement, it isn’t always a happy puppy agreeing with everyone to keep the peace. Kindness is OK calling things what it is … you are a racist, you are a chauvinist, you believe in something irrational and kind of shitty, drinking too much brah wtf. And if you are doing that with kindness, you can say your peace, make understood what is happening is sort of messed up, without it being a forever condemnation on them and without any hate in your heart, if anything it’s you connecting genuinely with this other person and from a place of respect … you are saying outright, what you disagree with, what you see as harmful. I think that’s a type of kindness not always seen as kindness.
Kindness is outright telling people what is possible in context to them and what you can’t give them or don’t want to. Kindness has boundaries. It’s telling that one friend always trying to bum shit that you are fine being friends, sometimes helping them out but most of the time you don’t feel comfortable with that, ex: I’m not always gonna pay for dinner, if they wanna just hang these are the terms … those are the boundaries you have and they can take it or leave it. That’s kindness too. This is what I can give and this is what I can’t/don’t want to. Having your boundaries without guilt is a great thing to give others actually, very kind because you often then help them understand how to build their own boundaries and express their needs, to let others know when they are pushing over a boundary. It’s deeply intimate, way more intimate than being nice and pliable, to tell someone your boundaries outright.
Kindness has a backbone, has courage. It isn’t just being doormat.
What is called for in a time like this? Deep deep honesty and awareness. Appreciated!
Everyone. So have a lovely evening and a good nights sleep, you dear ones all out there. May your life be blessed.
Thank you Ose and bright blessings to you as well:)
Thank you dear Ose!
A warm embrace, dear Anna!
I think that just about everybody appreciates kindness in some form or other.
Interesting question. I made a comment to one of my granddaughters, and her older sister said, “Granny’s just Joking”. That was a few weeks ago, and I’m still sad that I didn’t realize the impact of my comment.
My most precious husband who has Alzheimers and still remains the same gentle, sweet person he always was. I want to learn to spend the energy I waste on bewailing his fate, in ways that will make his life as lovely as possible and in expressing the gratitude I owe him for so many things.
You are his angel now,
and carry a heavy burden…
I hold you in my heart
and hope this lightens your load . . .
even just a bit
with love and compassion…
Thankyou. I don’t tell people very often about my feelings around this subject and it is uplifting to get a message.
Good plan, dear Christine, and probably easier said than done. Warm wishes! 💕🤗
yours truly, like honey from a bee, all the rest will follow ~ 🐝🥀🧚🏻♂️
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