I’m a day late as I post weekly on what I celebrate as “Prayer Tuesday” in honor of my dear friend Ursula.
But this is a particularly poignant question for me and I wanted to bring it my homage. Thank you for all your thoughtful responses…I read them all with a mixture of tears and smiles.
For me the answer is clear….it is my wounded inner child who is waiting for my kindness. I am quick to extend kindness to those around me, but neglect showing that same kindness to myself. This question has reminded me that I, along with all of those in my life and who cross my path, am worthy of kindness. Today I will keep this awareness close.
~Om Shanti friends 🙏
And a special good morning to my dear, long-time friend Pilgrim whom I am missing. I hope you are well and that life is treating you kindly these days.
No one! I am kind lol. All joking aside, I have had “people trespass against me” and had to come to terms with “love thy neighbor” once. In those instances I turn to my faith for answers.
Everyone, but perhaps especially the closest people: parents, husbands/wives, children, old friends.
At least, this is my experience. I lose my patience with them more than with colleagues, new friends, relatives, people I meet when I am working or while traveling, or when I go shopping.
Being gentle to each other, offering a smile while passing a so-called stranger and sending out greetings from my heart; to be; including all beings during meditation is something which needs to be remembered and being with it again. To send my heart along in every encounter. Thank you dearly for this question. 🙏🙇✨🙏
Charlie…you have hit proverbial nail on the head for me. I often forget when I am doing the loving kindness meditation for others, to include myself! I am most definitely my own worst critic. Thank you! 🙂
My mother. We have a difficult relationship and I easily lose patience with her self centered ways. However, I know that I have the opportunity to be kind in our interactions and that is not usually the choice I make. I have habits of interacting with her that go back for decades and are proving difficult to change. However, I know that she deserves my kindness despite her faults and I will continue to strive to improve my attitude and actions towards her.
The wording of the question suggests I’ve been withholding kindness. I am generally kind, which I think of as an often underappreciated virtue. My mom taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt, and starting from a default setting of kindness makes that easier to do.
A few years ago I started the new year with my thoughts on kindness on my blog (http://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2018/01/kindness-matters.html). That piece includes several quotations, and as I encounter poems or quotations I drop them in the comments there.
Barb, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your links…and always for your posts. I have never been a poetry reader- but since coming to this site…I have taken you up on your suggestions…and even bought a book of poems by Mary Oliver…which I read every day. I have also read the links to your blog and have enjoyed everything I have read…thank you for sharing!! That is indeed kindness…and thank you for making my day better!
Imagining that I, or anyone, were to live the main character sort-of-way: one should only be responsible for living one’s own life; I should only be living for me. I will wait for myself to be kind and should no one else. However, it conflicts because wouldn’t it mean that if I chose not to be kind, not to wait, that I just don’t have to? What if everyone chose to only expect from themselves, or rather choose to abandon this wait? The obvious consequence would result in a society of chaos with unfair bias. Thus, I don’t think just me waiting for me is the way to go. So, who is? I find it hard to identify a singular soul as I believe:
1) I/others, would not be motivated or determined to fulfill just one’s waiting
2) With so many different people and interactions, there cannot be just a “who” waiting for me.
I feel that there is somewhat a spiritual sense of kindness. There isn’t a “who”. Not me, not someone else, but the universe. It is getting very broad but it is undeniable that there is a hint of energy from the universe that indicates the ways of kindness. If we are kind to ourselves, we tend to live happier. If we are kind to another, both people tend to become happier. I don’t think anyone waits or expects one of anything – and they somewhat shouldn’t – but rather, showing kindness acknowledges the means of the universe’s desires, improving ourselves (one and many) along the way. I just think that there is either no one or everyone and everything that has been waiting and will be waiting for me to be kind.
The wording of the question suggests I’ve been withholding kindness. I am generally kind, which I think of as an often underappreciated virtue. My mom taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt, and starting from a default setting of kindness makes that easier to do.
A few years ago I started the new year with my thoughts on kindness on my blog (http://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2018/01/kindness-matters.html). That piece includes several quotations, and as I encounter poems or quotations I drop them in the comments there.
Everyone is craving kindness…I remind myself of that often because it is so very hard not to judge the behavior of many. On another note, today’s quote from Eckhart Tolle, “The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is” grabbed my attention. I’ve been re-listening to CD retreat programs and listened to a very early one from Tolle yesterday called, “Entering the Now.” It was a powerful reminder for me of how NOW and SELF AWARENESS are totally interconnected. It reminds me that Ram Dass and Alan Watts were trying to tell us that back in the 70’s!
Not sure anyone is “waiting” for kindness around me, but we all very much need kindness and compassion from others – without prevailing kindness, we are left with disappointment, anger, resentment, fear, all those emotions that fill the void left by the absence of kindness.
Everyone and everything on our planet is hoping I will greet them with kindness. I’ve come to not expect that of others. That’s an unrealistic expectation of others. I can role model how I’d like to be treated, and walk gently , causing no harm to others.
I think that as most have said that we all deserve kindnesss. I don’t think that any one person is waiting for kindness from me…but I will seardh in my heart – maybe I am missing someone. I try to be kind to everyone…and my heart is espcially connected to animals. WIshing you all a wonderful day.
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I’m a day late as I post weekly on what I celebrate as “Prayer Tuesday” in honor of my dear friend Ursula.
But this is a particularly poignant question for me and I wanted to bring it my homage. Thank you for all your thoughtful responses…I read them all with a mixture of tears and smiles.
For me the answer is clear….it is my wounded inner child who is waiting for my kindness. I am quick to extend kindness to those around me, but neglect showing that same kindness to myself. This question has reminded me that I, along with all of those in my life and who cross my path, am worthy of kindness. Today I will keep this awareness close.
~Om Shanti friends 🙏
And a special good morning to my dear, long-time friend Pilgrim whom I am missing. I hope you are well and that life is treating you kindly these days.
No one! I am kind lol. All joking aside, I have had “people trespass against me” and had to come to terms with “love thy neighbor” once. In those instances I turn to my faith for answers.
Everyone, but perhaps especially the closest people: parents, husbands/wives, children, old friends.
At least, this is my experience. I lose my patience with them more than with colleagues, new friends, relatives, people I meet when I am working or while traveling, or when I go shopping.
Being gentle to each other, offering a smile while passing a so-called stranger and sending out greetings from my heart; to be; including all beings during meditation is something which needs to be remembered and being with it again. To send my heart along in every encounter. Thank you dearly for this question. 🙏🙇✨🙏
I am mostly a kind person. So I don’t
feel like I’m holding back kindness
from anyone. I could be kinder to
myself, at times.
Charlie…you have hit proverbial nail on the head for me. I often forget when I am doing the loving kindness meditation for others, to include myself! I am most definitely my own worst critic. Thank you! 🙂
Thank you for your reply, dear brother in heart.
My mother. We have a difficult relationship and I easily lose patience with her self centered ways. However, I know that I have the opportunity to be kind in our interactions and that is not usually the choice I make. I have habits of interacting with her that go back for decades and are proving difficult to change. However, I know that she deserves my kindness despite her faults and I will continue to strive to improve my attitude and actions towards her.
The wording of the question suggests I’ve been withholding kindness. I am generally kind, which I think of as an often underappreciated virtue. My mom taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt, and starting from a default setting of kindness makes that easier to do.
A few years ago I started the new year with my thoughts on kindness on my blog (http://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2018/01/kindness-matters.html). That piece includes several quotations, and as I encounter poems or quotations I drop them in the comments there.
One of them is a poem from this site, “The Most Important Thing” by Julia Fehrenbacher https://grateful.org/resource/the-most-important-thing/. Another is “Be Kind” by Michael Blumenthal https://anthonywilsonpoetry.com/2020/11/03/be-kind/. And “Small Kindnesses” by Danusha Laméris https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/magazine/poem-small-kindnesses.html (which requires a subscriber log-in I don’t have), which she also has on her site https://www.danushalameris.com/poems. Looking for the non-subscriber link I discovered that she assembled another poem out of the responess of over 1,300 teenagers who read her poem; their list of kindnesses is wonderful https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/28/learning/small-kindnesses-poem.html.
So many, many ways to be kind. So easy. So important. No line, no waiting.
Barb, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your links…and always for your posts. I have never been a poetry reader- but since coming to this site…I have taken you up on your suggestions…and even bought a book of poems by Mary Oliver…which I read every day. I have also read the links to your blog and have enjoyed everything I have read…thank you for sharing!! That is indeed kindness…and thank you for making my day better!
Thank you for your very kind words, Nannette! Mary Oliver is a wonderful choice–so much close observation of the natural world and human nature.
Imagining that I, or anyone, were to live the main character sort-of-way: one should only be responsible for living one’s own life; I should only be living for me. I will wait for myself to be kind and should no one else. However, it conflicts because wouldn’t it mean that if I chose not to be kind, not to wait, that I just don’t have to? What if everyone chose to only expect from themselves, or rather choose to abandon this wait? The obvious consequence would result in a society of chaos with unfair bias. Thus, I don’t think just me waiting for me is the way to go. So, who is? I find it hard to identify a singular soul as I believe:
1) I/others, would not be motivated or determined to fulfill just one’s waiting
2) With so many different people and interactions, there cannot be just a “who” waiting for me.
I feel that there is somewhat a spiritual sense of kindness. There isn’t a “who”. Not me, not someone else, but the universe. It is getting very broad but it is undeniable that there is a hint of energy from the universe that indicates the ways of kindness. If we are kind to ourselves, we tend to live happier. If we are kind to another, both people tend to become happier. I don’t think anyone waits or expects one of anything – and they somewhat shouldn’t – but rather, showing kindness acknowledges the means of the universe’s desires, improving ourselves (one and many) along the way. I just think that there is either no one or everyone and everything that has been waiting and will be waiting for me to be kind.
Beautifully said…Thank you.
The wording of the question suggests I’ve been withholding kindness. I am generally kind, which I think of as an often underappreciated virtue. My mom taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt, and starting from a default setting of kindness makes that easier to do.
A few years ago I started the new year with my thoughts on kindness on my blog (http://biketoworkbarb.blogspot.com/2018/01/kindness-matters.html). That piece includes several quotations, and as I encounter poems or quotations I drop them in the comments there.
One of them is a poem from this site, “The Most Important Thing” by Julia Fehrenbacher https://grateful.org/resource/the-most-important-thing/. Another is “Be Kind” by Michael Blumenthal https://anthonywilsonpoetry.com/2020/11/03/be-kind/. And “Small Kindnesses” by Danusha Laméris https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/magazine/poem-small-kindnesses.html (which requires a subscriber log-in I don’t have), which she also has on her site https://www.danushalameris.com/poems. Looking for the non-subscriber link I discovered that she assembled another poem out of the responess of over 1,300 teenagers who read her poem; their list of kindnesses is wonderful https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/28/learning/small-kindnesses-poem.html.
So many, many ways to be kind. So easy. So important. No line, no waiting.
Everyone is craving kindness…I remind myself of that often because it is so very hard not to judge the behavior of many. On another note, today’s quote from Eckhart Tolle, “The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is” grabbed my attention. I’ve been re-listening to CD retreat programs and listened to a very early one from Tolle yesterday called, “Entering the Now.” It was a powerful reminder for me of how NOW and SELF AWARENESS are totally interconnected. It reminds me that Ram Dass and Alan Watts were trying to tell us that back in the 70’s!
Not sure anyone is “waiting” for kindness around me, but we all very much need kindness and compassion from others – without prevailing kindness, we are left with disappointment, anger, resentment, fear, all those emotions that fill the void left by the absence of kindness.
Everyone and everything on our planet is hoping I will greet them with kindness. I’ve come to not expect that of others. That’s an unrealistic expectation of others. I can role model how I’d like to be treated, and walk gently , causing no harm to others.
I think that as most have said that we all deserve kindnesss. I don’t think that any one person is waiting for kindness from me…but I will seardh in my heart – maybe I am missing someone. I try to be kind to everyone…and my heart is espcially connected to animals. WIshing you all a wonderful day.
Everyone and anyone. Don’t we all want kindness?
I am.
Kindness to self is a biggy…so important.