Pretty sure today I did at work. Back from vacation and just not feeling motivated to be at work!
Had a great time being a way in Florida despite a couple of cold days up in Orlando area but we found some fun indoor places.
My daughter’s 2 yr celebration was very touching. Her sponsor spoke very highly of her and of course it made me cry 💖
Most days I show up less whole heartedly for my life than I would like. Having said that, being kind and less critical of myself is something that I am actively working on, so I have to be careful here to not become critical of myself for my lack of enthusiasm. Even if my level of enthusiasm is not where I would like it to be, I can be kind to myself, and take time to appreciate all that I have, and all the natural beauty around me. If I am grateful, that is certainly enthusiastic enough. I can also make time each day to do some things that I truly enjoy. And as for the things I’m not looking forward to doing, I can shift my focus and think about how these are really things that I get to do. For example I get to take my Mom to the doctor. I love her and am getting time to spend with her, and care for her. I get to do the dishes. I have access to water that is clean and heated and have a kitchen where I can prepare healthy food and dishes to serve it on. All of this is good. I am grateful.
Using “I get to,” instead of “I have to,” or “I should” has helped me so much in many different situations. I am glad it came up at a good time for you! ☀️
Yes, of course I’m not always 100% present. My brain needs constant reminding to be here now.
But, this is one of those reminders (thank you!) that come along, that makes me sit up and think about my level of participation in my own life.
So far so good, this morning. I will attempt to keep this going all day, through my interactions with others, as I do my work, as I relate to my partner, as I take care of my surroundings, and as I think about the larger world. I will try to be a participant and not just an observer when I’m engaged with others.
“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in
singing, especially when singing is not necessarily
prescribed.
As for the body, it is solid and strong and curious
and full of detail; it wants to polish itself; it
wants to love another body; it is the only vessel in
the world that can hold, in a mix of power and
sweetness: words, song, gesture, passion, ideas,
ingenuity, devotion, merriment, vanity, and virtue.
Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.”
“I ask you again: if you have not been enchanted by this adventure–your life–what would do for you?”
Thank you,
dear Barb,
for posting excerpts from the Mary Oliver poem . . .
of course I had to click the link
and read the whole thing . . .
she quite literally
speaks for me. ♥
I face a confrontation with a volatile person who terrifies me. My conditioned reaction feels like paddling out into a choppy ocean on a row boat and fighting the waves with all my frenetic strength.
What is wholehearted confrontation? It means coming home to the safe harbor of my heart. I will speak from love and sadness, hope and acceptance. The heart’s chambers have room for all feelings. I don’t need to be a hero. I can speak from the warm love within.
This is hard stuff, Drea. I don’t like confrontation one bit.
I can see you have worked on this. Your thoughts are so beautiful and insightful. They ring true to me.
Thank you Mary. The confrontation ended up dashing my hopes for reconciliation. But it also gave me important information that this individual has not changed. Bittersweet.
I too,
am sorry that the confrontation did not end up well,
dear Drea . . .
you knw,
over time,
the seeds you planted will sprout
and he or she will consider your truth. ♥
Thank you Sparrow, I hope the seeds will sprout. All I can do now is feel the loss and go on with my life.
1
Mary
4 weeks ago
I’m so sorry to hear that your hopes for reconciliation were dashed, Drea.
You were very brave to have confronted this person. I really hope you are getting some good support, Drea. It sounds like you have been working through some very difficult things.
♥️♥️♥️
I like the idea of discerning how and for what I can and will show up wholeheartedly. One of the things that drags me down most is making dinner or even planning dinner for every night. I don’t now why this is such a drain for me. I want to have healthy meals on hand, but I don’t want to make them. So I don’t show up “wholeheartedly” for that. And it disappoints me. And then we end up having less than healthy foods which disappoints me even more. I know there are ways around this…(and this is just one example of unmet expectations that I live with), but as there is so much else in the world that is dragging me down, I’d like to not end my day with the failed expectation of a disappointing meal. So I will work on how to rework my meal-planning so that I can show up for that wholeheartedly. Sounds weird, I know, but there it is…
This doesn’t sound weird to me at all, Katrina. Dinner comes at the end of the day. How whole hearted can you expect to feel starting this project called dinner when already tired from activities of the day.
I recently read a bit of advice that made a lot sense to me. “ Set the bar low. Succeed more.”
It doesn’t have to be all nothing. Keep it very simple.
Sending much love. ♥️
Doesn’t sound weird at all- I think everyone is challenged with this especially working FT. And then it is the cost of groceries/finding what is healthy too
I can relate. I have spells of enthusiasm for cooking fresh meals, and times when I don’t want to go near the kitchen. Over time, some healthy, easy standbys have emerged … but there was messy trial and error in the process. I hope that you find some unexpected inspiration as you revisit your meal planning.
I don’t know about ways but there are days when I show up less wholeheartedly. I find that I cannot always change that fact but I find that accepting it helps me gain self awareness. Sometimes, it is psychological fear. Many times I just don’t feel well due to pain levels. That was true yesterday and I thought, I think I can manage to mix up some oatmeal cookie dough and if I lack the energy to bake the cookies, the dough will keep in the refrigerator until tomorrow. The activity helped me feel useful because I knew I would be able to gift others, especially my kind neighbors, with some cookies.
I looked up wholeheartedly and it was defined as an adverb that means “completely, sincerely and enthusiastically” I do believe on those days when I show up less wholeheartedly, I show up sincerely.
A quote in Richard Rohr’s meditation today addresses showing up in support of community. I share it below:
“The consequences of justice and righteousness are shalom, an enduring Sabbath of joy and well-being. But the alternative is injustice and oppression, which leads inevitably to turmoil and anxiety, with no chance of well-being.”
—Walter Brueggemann, Peace: Living Toward a Vision
Rev. Dr. Randy Woodley describes God’s vision of shalom, which is the ancient Hebrew vision of communal peace and universal thriving:
“Shalom is communal, holistic, and tangible. There is no private or partial shalom. The whole community must have shalom or no one has shalom…. Shalom is not for the many, while a few suffer; nor is it for the few while many suffer. It must be available for everyone. In this way, shalom is everyone’s concern…. Shalom produces change for the good of all….”
“Shalom is not a utopian destination; it is a constant journey. One does not wait on shalom; one actually sets about the task of shalom. In other words, people need to be going about the business of shalom and living out shalom. This active, persistent effort takes place at every level, from personal relationships to societal and structural transformation. “
I know the feeling,
dear Carol Ann,
and I think we all do . . .
I love your persistence–
that you don’t ignore it
or try to wash it away.
I always appreciate the action you take
and learn a little from your wisdom
every day. ♥
ps. I learned a lot about ‘Shalom’ from you yesterday.
Carol, that cookie dough sounds delicious. For the purpose of managing my type 2 diabetes, I can resist that. Also, I’ve been doing well with developing healthier eating habits without agendas.
I like when others show up whole heartily, so I try and be present for others. I am becoming more aware of when I am distracted. I then put the distraction aside and reengage
I agree with Carol Ann, Yram. I also have noticed that you get right to the heart of the question in just a sentence or two. Your answer to this question shows a lot of awareness.
When I notice that someone needs help, even though I have ideas to support them and the motivation to offer help, I’m too shy to ask if they would like my assistance. I always wait until it seems like no one else is available before I approach them. Honestly, I’m not yet know any strategies to overcome this challenge. I know I have a heart that longs to help others; however, my experience with social anxiety is a barrier, especially as I work toward being available for my future clients in the field of human services.
Yes when I hand something over to God, Eventually, I seem to take it back with worry, second guessing and over thinking. The handing over is legit. I don’t know if it’s impatience, or lack of trust in others ( not God, or the universe that faith is strong). I start my day in the present but still find myself unsettled with lack of action and trust in myself and others to understand His guidance.
I am discerning about where I’ll show up when I have the choice, which makes it easy to show up wholeheartedly. However obligation can take me places I would prefer not to go. That is when suspending judgment and getting curious can help me to be present to the situation and people. Sometimes I have to give myself a “talking to” as a reminder in those situations.
The other way I can show up wholeheartedly is to show up rested, so self-care helps me to show up wholeheartedly. Peace.♥️
I struggle with resentment. Today I have held it off and urged myself to remain open, to keep the thoughts at bay. It’s very early now, but so far I’m winnin’. Hope I can keep it up! I’ll break my day into segments, the drive, the long work day, drive home.
Have you considered walking through your resentment,
dear Christina?
I think you can do it
without your resentment
getting the better of you,
and I think you might be surprised. ♥
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Pretty sure today I did at work. Back from vacation and just not feeling motivated to be at work!
Had a great time being a way in Florida despite a couple of cold days up in Orlando area but we found some fun indoor places.
My daughter’s 2 yr celebration was very touching. Her sponsor spoke very highly of her and of course it made me cry 💖
I am very happy to hear that your daughter is doing so well, Robin!
And yes, Florida has been cold, lately. Glad you had fun indoors. 😊
💗
That’s wonderful,
dear Robin,
all the way around. ♥
❤️☀️
Most days I show up less whole heartedly for my life than I would like. Having said that, being kind and less critical of myself is something that I am actively working on, so I have to be careful here to not become critical of myself for my lack of enthusiasm. Even if my level of enthusiasm is not where I would like it to be, I can be kind to myself, and take time to appreciate all that I have, and all the natural beauty around me. If I am grateful, that is certainly enthusiastic enough. I can also make time each day to do some things that I truly enjoy. And as for the things I’m not looking forward to doing, I can shift my focus and think about how these are really things that I get to do. For example I get to take my Mom to the doctor. I love her and am getting time to spend with her, and care for her. I get to do the dishes. I have access to water that is clean and heated and have a kitchen where I can prepare healthy food and dishes to serve it on. All of this is good. I am grateful.
“I should” –> “I get to.” Thank you for the reminder Mary, it comes at a good time.
Using “I get to,” instead of “I have to,” or “I should” has helped me so much in many different situations. I am glad it came up at a good time for you! ☀️
I really appreciate you making this point, Mary. We don’t need to “should” on ourselves about whether or not we’re sufficiently wholehearted.
Barb, this is similar to my answer. I know I’m not always that, and I’m cool with it, because I know what I want and go directly towards it.
Yes, of course I’m not always 100% present. My brain needs constant reminding to be here now.
But, this is one of those reminders (thank you!) that come along, that makes me sit up and think about my level of participation in my own life.
So far so good, this morning. I will attempt to keep this going all day, through my interactions with others, as I do my work, as I relate to my partner, as I take care of my surroundings, and as I think about the larger world. I will try to be a participant and not just an observer when I’m engaged with others.
I have to share the poem “Evidence” by Mary Oliver, which I read for the first time this morning and which to me is about showing up wholeheartedly in the world as it is. https://yearsrisingmaryoliver.blogspot.com/2011/02/evidence.html
A couple of excerpts:
“I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. Also in
singing, especially when singing is not necessarily
prescribed.
As for the body, it is solid and strong and curious
and full of detail; it wants to polish itself; it
wants to love another body; it is the only vessel in
the world that can hold, in a mix of power and
sweetness: words, song, gesture, passion, ideas,
ingenuity, devotion, merriment, vanity, and virtue.
Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.”
“I ask you again: if you have not been enchanted by this adventure–your life–what would do for you?”
Thank you,
dear Barb,
for posting excerpts from the Mary Oliver poem . . .
of course I had to click the link
and read the whole thing . . .
she quite literally
speaks for me. ♥
Thanks Barb, you know, I read “Evidence” by Mary Oliver, but when I read the excerpts I had Maya Angelou’s voice in my head, LOL
Love it!
So great!!!
Thank you, Barb!
I face a confrontation with a volatile person who terrifies me. My conditioned reaction feels like paddling out into a choppy ocean on a row boat and fighting the waves with all my frenetic strength.
What is wholehearted confrontation? It means coming home to the safe harbor of my heart. I will speak from love and sadness, hope and acceptance. The heart’s chambers have room for all feelings. I don’t need to be a hero. I can speak from the warm love within.
“The heart’s chambers have room for all feelings”. – wise words of wisdom Drea, thank you 💗
❤️
This is hard stuff, Drea. I don’t like confrontation one bit.
I can see you have worked on this. Your thoughts are so beautiful and insightful. They ring true to me.
Thank you Mary. The confrontation ended up dashing my hopes for reconciliation. But it also gave me important information that this individual has not changed. Bittersweet.
I too,
am sorry that the confrontation did not end up well,
dear Drea . . .
you knw,
over time,
the seeds you planted will sprout
and he or she will consider your truth. ♥
Thank you Sparrow, I hope the seeds will sprout. All I can do now is feel the loss and go on with my life.
I’m so sorry to hear that your hopes for reconciliation were dashed, Drea.
You were very brave to have confronted this person. I really hope you are getting some good support, Drea. It sounds like you have been working through some very difficult things.
♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much, Mary, I appreciate your loving support.
And don’t forget to take a deep breath. 😔
I hope your row boat can be calm and stable.
Thank you Charlie.
I like the idea of discerning how and for what I can and will show up wholeheartedly. One of the things that drags me down most is making dinner or even planning dinner for every night. I don’t now why this is such a drain for me. I want to have healthy meals on hand, but I don’t want to make them. So I don’t show up “wholeheartedly” for that. And it disappoints me. And then we end up having less than healthy foods which disappoints me even more. I know there are ways around this…(and this is just one example of unmet expectations that I live with), but as there is so much else in the world that is dragging me down, I’d like to not end my day with the failed expectation of a disappointing meal. So I will work on how to rework my meal-planning so that I can show up for that wholeheartedly. Sounds weird, I know, but there it is…
This doesn’t sound weird to me at all, Katrina. Dinner comes at the end of the day. How whole hearted can you expect to feel starting this project called dinner when already tired from activities of the day.
I recently read a bit of advice that made a lot sense to me. “ Set the bar low. Succeed more.”
It doesn’t have to be all nothing. Keep it very simple.
Sending much love. ♥️
Doesn’t sound weird at all- I think everyone is challenged with this especially working FT. And then it is the cost of groceries/finding what is healthy too
I can relate. I have spells of enthusiasm for cooking fresh meals, and times when I don’t want to go near the kitchen. Over time, some healthy, easy standbys have emerged … but there was messy trial and error in the process. I hope that you find some unexpected inspiration as you revisit your meal planning.
I feel that my purposes are clear and that I’m where I want to be. No need to make any changes as of now.
I don’t know about ways but there are days when I show up less wholeheartedly. I find that I cannot always change that fact but I find that accepting it helps me gain self awareness. Sometimes, it is psychological fear. Many times I just don’t feel well due to pain levels. That was true yesterday and I thought, I think I can manage to mix up some oatmeal cookie dough and if I lack the energy to bake the cookies, the dough will keep in the refrigerator until tomorrow. The activity helped me feel useful because I knew I would be able to gift others, especially my kind neighbors, with some cookies.
I looked up wholeheartedly and it was defined as an adverb that means “completely, sincerely and enthusiastically” I do believe on those days when I show up less wholeheartedly, I show up sincerely.
A quote in Richard Rohr’s meditation today addresses showing up in support of community. I share it below:
“The consequences of justice and righteousness are shalom, an enduring Sabbath of joy and well-being. But the alternative is injustice and oppression, which leads inevitably to turmoil and anxiety, with no chance of well-being.”
—Walter Brueggemann, Peace: Living Toward a Vision
Rev. Dr. Randy Woodley describes God’s vision of shalom, which is the ancient Hebrew vision of communal peace and universal thriving:
“Shalom is communal, holistic, and tangible. There is no private or partial shalom. The whole community must have shalom or no one has shalom…. Shalom is not for the many, while a few suffer; nor is it for the few while many suffer. It must be available for everyone. In this way, shalom is everyone’s concern…. Shalom produces change for the good of all….”
“Shalom is not a utopian destination; it is a constant journey. One does not wait on shalom; one actually sets about the task of shalom. In other words, people need to be going about the business of shalom and living out shalom. This active, persistent effort takes place at every level, from personal relationships to societal and structural transformation. “
I know the feeling,
dear Carol Ann,
and I think we all do . . .
I love your persistence–
that you don’t ignore it
or try to wash it away.
I always appreciate the action you take
and learn a little from your wisdom
every day. ♥
ps. I learned a lot about ‘Shalom’ from you yesterday.
Thank you Carol Ann Shalom to you and to everyone! 🌱🙌
“when I show up less wholeheartedly, I show up sincerely”. – loved this
I enjoyed the two paragraphs defining Shalom. Thank you Carol Ann.
me too.
I do love that quality of most doughs, they can be refrigerated overnight or even longer. A forgiving quality.
Carol, that cookie dough sounds delicious. For the purpose of managing my type 2 diabetes, I can resist that. Also, I’ve been doing well with developing healthier eating habits without agendas.
I like when others show up whole heartily, so I try and be present for others. I am becoming more aware of when I am distracted. I then put the distraction aside and reengage
I agree with Carol Ann, Yram. I also have noticed that you get right to the heart of the question in just a sentence or two. Your answer to this question shows a lot of awareness.
Yram, you have a gift for summarizing things so succinctly. Thank you!
When I notice that someone needs help, even though I have ideas to support them and the motivation to offer help, I’m too shy to ask if they would like my assistance. I always wait until it seems like no one else is available before I approach them. Honestly, I’m not yet know any strategies to overcome this challenge. I know I have a heart that longs to help others; however, my experience with social anxiety is a barrier, especially as I work toward being available for my future clients in the field of human services.
My Ngoc, having the heart to help others is a good starting point.
The courage and confidence
will come,
dear Ngoc,
with time and practice . . .
and presence . . .
you can do this.
You were made for it. ♥
Ditto
Yes when I hand something over to God, Eventually, I seem to take it back with worry, second guessing and over thinking. The handing over is legit. I don’t know if it’s impatience, or lack of trust in others ( not God, or the universe that faith is strong). I start my day in the present but still find myself unsettled with lack of action and trust in myself and others to understand His guidance.
I am discerning about where I’ll show up when I have the choice, which makes it easy to show up wholeheartedly. However obligation can take me places I would prefer not to go. That is when suspending judgment and getting curious can help me to be present to the situation and people. Sometimes I have to give myself a “talking to” as a reminder in those situations.
The other way I can show up wholeheartedly is to show up rested, so self-care helps me to show up wholeheartedly. Peace.♥️
Being rested is really important. A whole hearted yes to self care.
Amen, Sista.♥️
So true on the 2nd thought!
Sometimes,
dear Mary,
I have to give myself a “good talking to” as well . . . 🙂
😉
Some days have higher energy than other days … all I can do is focus on the present and give what I can.
yes indeed!!
Michele, I relate.
That’s a Good Day,
dear Michele. ♥
I struggle with resentment. Today I have held it off and urged myself to remain open, to keep the thoughts at bay. It’s very early now, but so far I’m winnin’. Hope I can keep it up! I’ll break my day into segments, the drive, the long work day, drive home.
Moment by Moment, dear Christina.
Have you considered walking through your resentment,
dear Christina?
I think you can do it
without your resentment
getting the better of you,
and I think you might be surprised. ♥
I am able to “show up’ wholeheartedly when I am present. Peace, Love & Light.
I think,
dear Joseph,
being present
is the only way to show up wholeheartedly . . .
I think you’ve got something there. ♥