Reflections

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  1. D
    Debangana Sanyal

    My husband and I have been living in two different countries, for the last 7 months. There have been times when I have been extremely upset, and shrouded by uncertainty. Right at this moment, I am taking steps to move to a different country (the greatest country in the world) which offers endless possibilities. I would get to learn so so much, get the opportunity to see and explore the world. Will have enough resources to travel through Europe. And I will get to do all this with the person I love most.

    4 months ago
  2. Robin Ann

    My daughter is in the hospital right now so I am facing uncertainty. She is okay but hoping to get much needed guidance from the Hospital. She has diabetes I as well as addiction issues. I have been reaching out to all of my support friends/Family today and also decided to sign up for Therapy for myself. It gets to be way overwhelming and I know I can not handle all of this on my own. Yes this reflection hit home with me today.

    4 months ago
    1. Nannette

      Dear Robin, I am so happy that you are going to get some help in the terms of supportive therapy. We are not made to go through such times alone. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and in my prayers in the coming days.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        Thank you Nannette

        4 months ago
    2. Michele

      Wishing you peace, courage and healing to both you and your daughter.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        Thank you Michele

        4 months ago
    3. Avril

      This is the right place to share. This community holds you in love and support.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        Thank you so much Avril

        4 months ago
    4. Joseph McCann

      I am still going to therapy at least every two weeks. I send kindness and courage your way Robin Ann. May therapy be as good for you as it has been for me.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        Thank you Joseph, I tried on-line for a bit but this time it will be in person close to home. Hoping it helps : )

        4 months ago
    5. Diane

      Robin…my mom’s heart is with you as you face this uncertainty. I’m so glad that you have made the decision to give yourself the gift of therapy. I’m grateful every day that I was led to that same decision…..it has helped me tremendously with my journey towards wholeness and healing.
      I will pray for you and your daughter Robin. God bless you both. 🙏

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        Thank you so much Diane

        4 months ago
  3. Dolores Kazanjian

    OMG this question is so on-target. As I have mentioned, on top of my chronic age-related health issues, I got COVID last week. I’m testing negative now, but some of the symptoms are lingering, and I have good days and not-so-good. Today is one of the latter. As I was opening my laptop to come on this site, I had the question go through my mind: “Should I fight this with everything I have or give in and prepare to depart the planet?” Talk about uncertainty.
    I notice a large number of the posts have to do with health issues. I am not sure whether to attach meaning to this, but I send healing and blessings to all of my dear friends and their spouses who are struggling..

    4 months ago
    1. Nannette

      Dolores, I hope that your days and your health start to get better. We need you here…so please fight this!! Your kindness, and words of wisdom help ever so much. So prayers for your recovery. Get well, my friend.

      4 months ago
    2. Avril

      Seeing you in wholeness

      4 months ago
    3. Diane

      🙏💜

      4 months ago
    4. Robin Ann

      Oh I do hope you start to feel better soon! It took me a good two weeks to feel normal again. Did you ask your doctor about any urgent covid treatments? I know there are some available.

      4 months ago
      1. Dolores Kazanjian

        Thank you, Robin Ann and all my friends who responded. Guess I’ll fight a little longer.
        I appreciate the suggestion about the treatment. There is a common and effective med called Plaxlovid, but it is contraindicated with the heart meds I’m taking. My doctor thought the heart meds are more important and I agree. She did recommend a few natural supplements that are supposed to help, and I am doing those,

        4 months ago
  4. Nannette

    Right now, the only uncertainty in my life is where we are traveling next! Not something to worry about, I am very fortunate in that now- my husband and I and our pets are all well and happy. We have food, shelter, heat…and each other. I am thankful that we are Blessed. I know others are not- some are going through turmoil in their personal lives, jobs, children. I like others am worried regarding the earth, our climate changes, war, the political dysfunction…but I have today and will do the best I can. I hope that when I say to those on here..”God Bless You”…or I am praying for you- sending prayers…that I am not being disrespectful of your beliefs…but that is my way of sending hope and love to you. Thank you all who make this wonderful site possible. God Bless Brother David!

    4 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      Thank you, Nannette.

      4 months ago
    2. Diane

      Nannette….you have such a kind and compassionate heart. Thank you for your prayers and blessings. I suspect that these sentiments are so appreciated by everyone here.
      Have a wonderful time on your travels Nannette!

      4 months ago
  5. Diane

    “Uncertainty” and “waiting” seem to be the theme of my life! I don’t know that I’m at the place where I can embrace them…..but God has been faithfully and patiently teaching me awareness and radical acceptance. It’s been a lifelong lesson in letting go…over and over again!
    Growing up as a child of 2 alcoholic parents, in order to survive I can see clearly now (hindsight being 20/20) that I was desperate to hold on to some little pocket of control in the midst of the chaos that I was powerless over. And so uncertainty in my adult life has not been my friend.
    The Serenity Prayer helps:
    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference”

    Currently there is uncertainty regarding the health and well-being of my husband of 45 years. Our aging bodies are speaking to us in some frightening ways and I can easily “dress-rehearse tragedy” as Brene Brown puts it. Among other issues, he is (for now) a cancer survivor. But the uncertainty of his long-term prognosis is looming large. Definitely not “embracing” this uncertainty….right now that feels like too big an ask!
    But I have come far in my resolve for a peace-filled acceptance of what is.
    With the assurance of God’s grace and that He will shepherd us through whatever comes.
    ~Blessings on your day everyone. 🙏

    4 months ago
    1. Michele

      Prayers to you and your husband Diane.

      4 months ago
    2. Robin Ann

      Sending you warm and caring thoughts to both you and your husband during your time of uncertainty

      4 months ago
      1. Diane

        Thank you Robin Ann…..sending 💜 right back to both you and your daughter.

        4 months ago
    3. Nannette

      Dear Diane, I will remember you and your husband in my prayers as you travel through this time. If I may…remember your husband is a cancer survivor now…may that give you some peace…there is a quote about worry which I can never remember ..but try not to waste too much energy on worrying on something that may never come to pass…enjoy whatever “now” you have…don’t take away your time with worry (Although, I know that is never an easy task and sometimes it is impossible). Holding you in prayer.

      4 months ago
      1. Diane

        So grateful for your prayers and your wise and encouraging words Nannette. Blessings. 🙏

        4 months ago
    4. Carol

      Diane, I agree that the Serenity Prayer is a powerful tool in dealing with uncertainty. Thank you for reminding me of it and the power of Grace. I had a friend who tells the story of being rolled into an ER examining room on a gerny and seeing a poster taped to the ceiling that said, “When you are at the bottom of the barrel, the only way is up. That’s the power of grace. As Anne Lamott says, “Grace never leaves you where it found you.

      4 months ago
      1. Diane

        Thank you Carol….Oh how I love Anne Lamott! Love that quote and this one: “Grace always bats last”
        It is indeed powerful this Amazing Grace.

        4 months ago
    5. Pilgrim

      Dear Diane, I will hold you and your husband in continued prayer as you navigate these uncertainties together. Blessings, dear Friend.

      4 months ago
      1. Diane

        Thank you Pilgrim. Today’s question was a timely one for me.
        So happy to meet you here….have a blessed day my friend. 🙏

        4 months ago
  6. Emmaleah

    My family and I are starting a farm and it is an exciting yet scary adventure. I often get anxious about the uncertainty of its success; will our efforts be worth it? I find peace and joy in the act of planting and working with my family and Im working to let go of the fear surrounding the outcome & the uncertainty of it all.

    4 months ago
    1. Michele

      Wishing you good luck on this new adventure!

      4 months ago
    2. Avril

      Oooooohhhh. Exciting!!!

      4 months ago
    3. Joseph McCann

      Kindness and many green springs ahead, Emma Leah.

      4 months ago
    4. Robin Ann

      That sounds wonderful Emma Leah, looking forward to hearing more about it!

      4 months ago
    5. Maeve

      All the best to you. It sounds exciting.

      4 months ago
  7. C
    Claire Jay

    This is the question of my life right now. 18 months ago my husband of 25 years was diagnosed with a large cancerous tumor. The Doctor told us he was at the edge of a cliff and that he needed to be pulled back. After various immunotherapies the stubborn tumor has not receded and even grown a tiny bit – BUT HE’S HERE! Life is certainly no picnic for him, but he’s alive and we spend most of our days here together doing life side by side while our kids are studying away in college. We are also trying to figure out how to continue paying our mortgage, college tuitions and our monthly bills since I stepped down from a big job to be more present for family and to myself. I wake every morning – still on that cliff – asking God for strength to accept all the uncertainties of my life. Every thing that we’ve built feels like it’s slipping away, and some of it is, but yet I am more present to the love and gratitude that shows itself through my husband and three children. Daily. All in an unbelievable uncertainty of the days week months ahead.

    4 months ago
    1. Avril

      Yes, as stated, it’s a lot. Much respect to you for stepping down from work to be fully present. I’m sure you know to breathe deeply. I also laud you for taking time to be on here. This is self care. You need this respite to continue being an anchor for your beloved.

      4 months ago
    2. Maeve

      That is a lot, and you are responding with much courage. Thinking of you both.

      4 months ago
    3. Diane

      Claire Jay…may God continue to strengthen you as you navigate through this challenge. Your continuing love and gratitude in the midst of this uncertainty is an inspiration.
      God bless you and your family. 🙏

      4 months ago
  8. Carol

    My first thought was: What do I know for sure? What do I know for certain? My answer was: I’m certain that I must remain willing in all circumstances–willing to respond instead of react.

    I’m struggling with that willingness right now due to a health issue that has both me and the doctors stumped. I want a definitive answer that fixes it. I realized this morning that I have let it put both my mind and my body into knots. This question has helped me to see that my need to control is raising havoc. I’m definitely reacting instead of responding, turning this situation into a problem.

    I give thanks for this question.

    4 months ago
    1. Michele

      Peace be with you Carol. I relate to ‘reacting instead of responding’, it’s hard, but at least you recognize it and remain willing:)

      4 months ago
    2. Joseph McCann

      Soothing thoughts and relief your way, Carol.

      4 months ago
      1. Carol

        Thank you, Joseph

        4 months ago
    3. Nannette

      Dear Carol, Sending you love and prayers. Hopefully, soon the doctors will figure out how to help you. I hope you can find a way to let it go for a bit…have faith…and know that all of us here on this site are holding you in our thoughts and prayers.

      4 months ago
      1. Carol

        Nannette, Thank you for your wise and caring words.

        4 months ago
    4. Diane

      Carol….thank you for sharing. I can so relate. 30 years ago I became extremely ill with an unknown diagnosis. I saw numerous doctors and specialists trying to find an answer. I remember the frustration and fear. I am holding you in prayer…not only for answers but for peace, knowing that all will unfold in it’s time.
      I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Rilke in his “Letters to a Young Poet”. It has helped me numerous times in my own (need to control) life journey:

      “Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.
      Try to love the questions themselves,
      like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.
      Do not now look for the answers.
      They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them.
      It is a question of experiencing everything.
      At present you need to live the question.
      Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it,
      find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”

      ~Peace to you Carol 🙏

      4 months ago
      1. Carol

        Diane, Thank you for sharing, thanks for your prayers and thanks for the poem. Your words give me such a sense of belonging and I so appreciate that today.

        4 months ago
  9. Barb C

    As I wrote in a reply to Maeve, my life holds relatively little uncertainty, in the sense that I have security in housing, job, friends and family, routines. I know things I take for granted can change–my sprained knee from a bike crash is reminding me just how quickly things change sometimes. So uncertainty is always there whether or not I directly acknowledge it.

    One of the biggest uncertainties that I have to address is what will happen with an initiative in my state that would gut funding for the programs I direct. That would be a huge step back for our work to improve climate, health, and safety through active transportation investments. I can’t control the outcome. I can accept that it’s uncertain even if I don’t fully embrace the uncertainty that has me waking up in the night worrying. What I *can* embrace is my responsibility for leading my team through the uncertainties for them and their functions and jobs. In other words, as Arthur Ashe said in the quotation Yram shared, “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

    4 months ago
  10. Yram

    Oh my! Uncertainty has occupied my life right now. My husband and I are awaiting news of our diagnosis. Embracing this time…hummmm.
    Like Joseph said, I trust that I can withstand whatever the outcome.

    The world seems so uncertain now. With weather extremes, wars, disharmony, and political unrest, it is hard not to project.

    4 months ago
    1. Diane

      Prayers for you and your husband Yram. Embracing this time is surely a challenge!

      4 months ago
      1. Yram

        Together we can hang in and get through.

        4 months ago
  11. J
    Jenifer

    I am currently in the non-profit/helping profession and have been the last 5 years. However, I believe it’s time for a change. I am wanting to leave this field and venture into something different. From a very young age, I was always helping others. I mentioned in another post that this has led me to develop codependency issues and this overwhelming feeling that I am responsible for everyone’s happiness. I sacrifice myself for others because this is what all I’ve known. Nonetheless, I realize I don’t have to anymore. I have a choice. Right now, I am choosing to leave the mental health field and pursue something new. I am beyond terrified because I don’t know what awaits me, but I know that I am strong and capable, that I have a good support system, that I am loved and cared for. That even if things don’t work out the way I intended, that I will still be ok. I am learning to embrace this uncertainty for what’s ahead.

    4 months ago
    1. Barb C

      Good luck in your search!

      4 months ago
  12. L
    Lovely Poppy

    I’ve been in the same city for the past 5 years. While I’ve enjoyed my time here on the most part, part of me wants something more. Something different even. I’m scared that if I give up the life I have now I’m going to end up more miserable, and regret it. But at the end of the day, I won’t know unless I try. At least I can say I tried. People regret the decisions they don’t make more than the ones they do. So I’m going to embrace uncertainty, while scared shirtless!

    4 months ago
  13. sunnypatti

    It’s inviting me to embrace uncertainty with the business decisions we are having to make. I prayed earlier that I will trust what our gut is telling us to do and has been telling us for a few months now. It’s all so scary. I don’t like living in fear, and it’s not really how I was living until we opened our restaurant. That place has taken over our lives and not in a good way. I keep reading about other businesses closing down, and it just breaks my heart, and here I am in the same position trying to figure out how to properly deal with what has to be done. There are so many factors involved in this. I just want to be happy again. I do find things to be grateful for every day, but underneath it all is an exhausted woman with an exhausted husband with no life other than walking the dogs and working. I keep telling my husband it’s going to get better, and I have to trust that it will.

    4 months ago
    1. Michele

      Loving kindness to you SunnyPatti. I was under the impression you had made the decision to close restaurant and stick with catering?

      4 months ago
      1. sunnypatti

        That’s right. We just hadn’t closed yet because we were trying to find a way to keep our cook. But the restaurant sucks and continues to get worse, but our catering continues to get better! There’s just not enough to keep a full time employee, thus the struggle (well, one of them).

        4 months ago
        1. Michele

          damn, that does suck, ugh. Hopefully something will work out/you get an answer to this dilemma.

          4 months ago
    2. Diane

      Dear Sunnypatti: I can feel your exhaustion and sadness through your sharing. I believe you have within you all the wisdom and discernment and courage you need as you wrestle with this very big decision. Prayers for you and your husband Sunnypatti….hold on tight to your faith and trust that it will indeed get better.

      I’m reminded of a quote by the 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich that I’ve used as a mantra of sorts throughout my life:
      “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well”
      ~Blessings 🙏

      4 months ago
    3. Yram

      I liked this quote from the tennis player Arthur Ashe.
      “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
      Blessings to you on all the decisions that need to be made.

      4 months ago
      1. Mary Mantei

        Amen!

        4 months ago
      2. Barb C

        I love this quotation. Pragmatic and possible.

        4 months ago
    4. J
      Jenifer

      Sending you and your husband lots of light and love your way.

      4 months ago
  14. Journey

    I am travelling overseas soon to visit my parents. It’s 2 very long flights and I am uncertain about how my eczema will hold up during the travel and then while I am in a difference country for 3 weeks. I am also without a job right now. Uncertainty makes me nervous but life teaches that there are more uncertain than certain phases. I can’t say I’m able to embrace uncertainty but being aware that life is uncertain and still being grateful is a first step.

    4 months ago
    1. Michele

      Safe travels Journey and have a nice time visiting your parents.

      4 months ago
    2. Avril

      Bon Voyage Journey

      4 months ago
    3. Barb C

      Your last line is so important: “being aware that life is uncertain and still being grateful is a first step.” I hope the flight and visit go well and that you find some joy and peace with your parents.

      4 months ago
    4. J
      Jenifer

      Good luck with traveling abroad, may you be at ease during your trip.

      4 months ago
  15. Charlie T

    I wouldn’t say “inviting”, but I would
    say, life’s uncertainty’s are giving me
    a choice. The choice to live in fear
    of the vagaries of life and what might
    happen in the future, or relax into
    this present moment and trust that
    I will be able to withstand whatever
    happens.
    This is not a simple proposition for me.
    It is becoming clear, that this focus and
    insecurity is robbing me of any joy that
    the present moment holds.

    4 months ago
    1. Yram

      Thank you Charlie for writing those choices out. I will repeat them when the fear creeps in. I resonated with the the goal to withstand whatever happens. I am a big believer in “whatever happens happens for a reason.” But I still quiver in my skin.

      4 months ago
    2. J
      Jenifer

      I resonate with your post Charlie. One of my new years goals is to let go of fear. I dealt with a lot of situations last year that caused me so much fear but later realized that I didn’t have to be in a state of terror and anxiety. These situations ended up resolving themselves or they didn’t turn out to be a catastrophe like I thought it would. It was then I realize I kept making the choice to live in this fear instead of being in the present moment and allowing whatever happens to happen. Like you said, it’s not easy, but I have making small steps to let go of fear and practicing more radical acceptance to bring more joy and peace into my life.

      4 months ago
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