I try to let go of fear of illness of myself and loved ones. I try to keep my fears and worries in my weekly prayers. Falling last Sunday set me back mentally so I need to regain my composure. I also went out and got my flu shot and covid vaccine yesterday in hopes of trying to make an effort to stay on top of my health. Knock on wood I can’t even remember the last time I had a cold or was sick.
I am letting go of fear, doubt and control. And am allowing love to flow naturally.
I am forgiving myself and him and creating space for healing and harmony.
What am I willing to let go of in order to be more free and or happy?
Am I willing to let go of short term comfort, to do/achieve the things I want?
Am I willing to step outside of my comfort zone?
My home, I need to organize it.
There is too much stuff, and too much paperwork to be completed or filed or trashed.
Yuck to starting it. Bleh to doing it. Yay!!! Success to being in process and staying on top of it.
I am willing to get started.
Art. Am l willing to do it each day? To pick up pencil and a blank paper and begin.
Doing it is enjoyable, fun, and at least interesting.
Am I willing to schedule it in?
And even more importantly, am I willing to follow that schedule?
I am an energetic person once I get going.
But I love sitting on my sofa and being unproductive so very much.
So it comes down to immediate gratification vs what I really want to do with my days, my life.
I’m somewhat embarrassed writing all of this down.
I like to be seen in a positive light by others, by myself. 😐
Yet here I am.
I am willing to make changes.
I am willing to feel that initial resistance,
and move past it into action.
♥️
Thank you for this important question.
Peace and comfort to all on this Sunday afternoon. ☀️☀️☀️
You echo
much of what I am feeling,
dear Mary . . .
even down to some specifics;
so much so
that I could almost believe
that you are another part of me.
I suffer a very similar condition
and call it ‘inertia’
for lack of a better word.
I know now,
more than I did five minutes ago
that I am truly not alone.
Thank you for your honesty
with love…♥
Dear Sparrow, I feel deeply touched
and also validated after reading your response to me.
I also feel close to you
knowing how much you identify with me.
Thank you for responding to me
and letting me know your thoughts.
Sending so much love to you, Sparrow.
♥️♥️♥️
Mary, but winter is a time to slow down the pace of life I believe.
I hear you though, there are things I know I need to get down but also I know I need to be in the right frame of mind to do them. Art, I bet can be like writers block? At least an Artist led me to believe that once.
Thank for your kind response Robin Ann.
You hit on just where my focus needs to be,
my frame of mind.
I want to change how I’m looking at getting things done
so that I can change my ways, and change my life.
Many blessings, Robin Ann. ♥️
I can relate to everything that you said, you shouldn’t feel so shameful! I see you in such a positive light by simply being yourself! Thank you for sharing 🧡
Thank you Jenifer!
I care too much about what others think.
Yet I value speaking what is true to me.
I also value hearing what you have to say,
as well as all of you who read and share your thoughts here.
Much peace to you, Jennifer,
and to all. ♥️♥️♥️
I am willing to let go of responding to impulsive desires to check my email on my phone. I am a lot better with that now than I used to be, now that I have learned how to turn off the notifications on my phone that tell me whenever I get a new email. But I still often will pick my phone up impulsively in a free moment and check my email. I recognize that none of the emails I get are so urgent that they need to be responded to within a few hours. So in a sense, this is also letting go of a false sense of self-importance (ie, “I have important things to write in my emails, and people need to hear them as soon as possible”) I think that letting go of impulsively checking my email on my phone will help me to be more free from the tether of my phone, and happier because my days will be more intentional and flowing. Perhaps when I notice that desire arising, I can say the Thich Nhat Hanh quote, “this is a happy moment,” then direct my senses to what is around me in the present moment and be intentional in choosing my next action.
I’ve been trying to release my dissatisfaction with an aging body that will never snap back to what it was in my 20s (or my 30s, 40s, or 50s). I recognize that I’ve had some level of dissatisfaction at each age and yet if I look back, those younger bodies that weren’t perfect seem fantastic to me now, strong and limber. I know if I look back at this age from 10 or 20 years older, I’ll remember how I could walk easily, ride my bike, keep restarting my yoga practice. I get to real acceptance every so often, then I go back into the prison of society’s unrealistic expectations. I’m willing to let go–it’s just hard.
I hear you Barb.
This is not easy.
I am losing weight and will continue to do so for my health,
especially, for the good of my hip and knee joints.
But oh my, it isn’t making the skin on my face any tighter.
So far I am making peace with this.
My face looks older, but I have the same smile and it’s still me.
My vanity is struggling while the wise part of me knows this is fine.
Such a process this.
Much peace to you, Barb, and to all. ☀️
I hear you, Yram. I was responsible for my parents’ house full of stuff when they moved to assisted living for my mom’s vascular dementia. She had been “sorting” with a new “system” applied every time she went downstairs so there were piles and piles, as if the tide had come in, left some detritus, and retreated, then come in again at a different spot to leave a new pile. I’m trying to spare my children that by getting rid of things but I have a ways to go.
I hope you find friends and that someone becomes a good friend. Best friends are tougher to find. I’m lucky that my best friend in the town I haven’t lived in for 12 years loves to talk on the phone. We call each other at random times, like when I’m going on a walk or she’s waiting for something. Whoever called says cheerfully, “I got nothin’!” and then we talk about the daily things in our lives. When I get to see her because I go back to that town it’s as if we’ve been spending every day together because we’ve kept our connection strong.
Generational trauma. Asking myself why. Accepting the fact that my mother was not able to be there for me because she was never taught how to be supportive of others.
I am with you Lauryn. I also get carried away in the why. Why me, what did I do wrong? I’ve come to realize I did nothing wrong but I also didn’t deserve how I was treated. I have then asked myself, how do I fix this feeling and it always come down to expressing love and compassion, especially towards myself. I am ok. I am loved and i am cared for. Although it hurt and it still does, I am ok and you will be too. 🧡
In order to stay in my home, I have had to be willing to let go of keeping the yard as pristine as I use to. I’ve had to admit that I need help cleaning my home. It’s very hard for me to let go and to accept my limitations but I’m working on my mind to have more compassion for my body. Again, as I’ve said many times, my job is willingness.
I am willing to let go of all the “shoulds” that society has placed on me & the rest of us.
I am letting go of all the negativity & negative people in my life; there is 1 in particular. I will continue to pray for her, however she is bad for my mental health.
I am trying to let go of my sadness & melancholy over the recent deaths of my husband & family members, “my support system”.
I guess working thru this gamut of emotions is part of the grieving process. I am learning to carry this sadness with me as I go forward into the unknown.
I want to be happy & joyful.
I’m still sad about one of my brothers dying in his mid 60s unexpectedly, my parents dying in their old age. Maybe you mean the sharp sadness that sits in front of every other feeling. For me that did recede with time. But the sadness is still there because my love for them lives on. Why wouldn’t I be sad that they’re gone? I don’t consciously try to keep it in my awareness, but every once in a while something will stab me sharply with a memory. The persistence of my grief reflects the depth of my love.
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is one of my favorite poets. She has some amazing poems on her site, ahundredfallingveils.com, about working through her grief when her 17-year-old son killed himself and then later her father died. She writes about her own transformation and, as you said, learning to carry sadness with her as she goes forward as well as love that’s as strong as ever.
My youngest brother Michael died by his own hand at 42 in 2002. The love is there, and he lives on through our niece Jeannette and his widow Eglantina. The grief only visits when someone I know, or I know someone who has a sibling or child commit suicide.
Thank you Barb. I love Rosemerry W.T.
I have been receiving her daily poems forever.
Her dear son Finn passed shortly after I lost my beloved brother. Her poems after that tragedy & currently, speak to me so so deeply. Her poetry is exquisite.
Thank you for referencing her. ❤️
Thank you so much for the question. It comes at the right time. Today is my fourth day in California, and I feel unhappy with the trip. Why? Because I expected to have some quality time with my mom and sister while staying with them. But things did not go my way. Someone else needed her the most, so she went out the whole day, immersed in business. Our trip to Northern California also got canceled. I can only see my mom at night when she return home and sleep with me. The feeling of being upset doesn’t make me feel any better, instead, it takes me away from the little cheerful moments that I had. I complained to my mom, asking why she wants me to stay longer but doesn’t have much time for me. She said that seeing me when she returns home makes her happy. Today is the last Sunday in the Church year, and I’m looking forward to the opportunity to go to Mass with her. Letting go of my upset feelings is the key for me to enjoy the time I’m here with my mom. Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday.
I’m so sorry your Mom has been busy during the time
you had hoped to spend with her Ngoc.
Years ago, when I was with my Mom
she would always spend the whole time
talking about my sisters. That hurt.
I’m wondering about that person
who has needed your Mom most while you are visiting.
I hope you are able to enjoy Mass today with your Mom.
Once when a nephew was upset about something his Mom had done,
I told him that parents are just people and they will never be exactly
who you want them to be.
This helped me to accept my Mom as she was
I hope you can find some healing and acceptance of your Mom.
Wishing you peace and healing Ngoc. ♥️♥️♥️
My strong desire for freedom has held me back before in more structured environments. I’m at least on the right path. A few things I have going for me are: quickly adapting to my environment, the Paw Mu rebelion root being addressed, and resigning from my Project 9X advocacy project at the perfect timing right before Thanksgiving. Manage is a better term than letting go. That strong desire for freedom, afterall, has shaped me into who I am, fueled my creativity, and has given me the strength to challenge the statis quo to advocate for those on my boat at a disadvantage.
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I try to let go of fear of illness of myself and loved ones. I try to keep my fears and worries in my weekly prayers. Falling last Sunday set me back mentally so I need to regain my composure. I also went out and got my flu shot and covid vaccine yesterday in hopes of trying to make an effort to stay on top of my health. Knock on wood I can’t even remember the last time I had a cold or was sick.
I am letting go of fear, doubt and control. And am allowing love to flow naturally.
I am forgiving myself and him and creating space for healing and harmony.
the past, past trauma’s…
What am I willing to let go of in order to be more free and or happy?
Am I willing to let go of short term comfort, to do/achieve the things I want?
Am I willing to step outside of my comfort zone?
My home, I need to organize it.
There is too much stuff, and too much paperwork to be completed or filed or trashed.
Yuck to starting it. Bleh to doing it. Yay!!! Success to being in process and staying on top of it.
I am willing to get started.
Art. Am l willing to do it each day? To pick up pencil and a blank paper and begin.
Doing it is enjoyable, fun, and at least interesting.
Am I willing to schedule it in?
And even more importantly, am I willing to follow that schedule?
I am an energetic person once I get going.
But I love sitting on my sofa and being unproductive so very much.
So it comes down to immediate gratification vs what I really want to do with my days, my life.
I’m somewhat embarrassed writing all of this down.
I like to be seen in a positive light by others, by myself. 😐
Yet here I am.
I am willing to make changes.
I am willing to feel that initial resistance,
and move past it into action.
♥️
Thank you for this important question.
Peace and comfort to all on this Sunday afternoon. ☀️☀️☀️
You echo
much of what I am feeling,
dear Mary . . .
even down to some specifics;
so much so
that I could almost believe
that you are another part of me.
I suffer a very similar condition
and call it ‘inertia’
for lack of a better word.
I know now,
more than I did five minutes ago
that I am truly not alone.
Thank you for your honesty
with love…♥
Dear Sparrow, I feel deeply touched
and also validated after reading your response to me.
I also feel close to you
knowing how much you identify with me.
Thank you for responding to me
and letting me know your thoughts.
Sending so much love to you, Sparrow.
♥️♥️♥️
Mary, but winter is a time to slow down the pace of life I believe.
I hear you though, there are things I know I need to get down but also I know I need to be in the right frame of mind to do them. Art, I bet can be like writers block? At least an Artist led me to believe that once.
Thank for your kind response Robin Ann.
You hit on just where my focus needs to be,
my frame of mind.
I want to change how I’m looking at getting things done
so that I can change my ways, and change my life.
Many blessings, Robin Ann. ♥️
I can relate to everything that you said, you shouldn’t feel so shameful! I see you in such a positive light by simply being yourself! Thank you for sharing 🧡
Thank you Jenifer!
I care too much about what others think.
Yet I value speaking what is true to me.
I also value hearing what you have to say,
as well as all of you who read and share your thoughts here.
Much peace to you, Jennifer,
and to all. ♥️♥️♥️
Letting go the desire to appear strong at all costs.
I am weak and vulnerable at times. That is okay. It is safe to show that now.
SO TRUE! 🙏🏽 You are safe here!
I am willing to let go of responding to impulsive desires to check my email on my phone. I am a lot better with that now than I used to be, now that I have learned how to turn off the notifications on my phone that tell me whenever I get a new email. But I still often will pick my phone up impulsively in a free moment and check my email. I recognize that none of the emails I get are so urgent that they need to be responded to within a few hours. So in a sense, this is also letting go of a false sense of self-importance (ie, “I have important things to write in my emails, and people need to hear them as soon as possible”) I think that letting go of impulsively checking my email on my phone will help me to be more free from the tether of my phone, and happier because my days will be more intentional and flowing. Perhaps when I notice that desire arising, I can say the Thich Nhat Hanh quote, “this is a happy moment,” then direct my senses to what is around me in the present moment and be intentional in choosing my next action.
I’ve been trying to release my dissatisfaction with an aging body that will never snap back to what it was in my 20s (or my 30s, 40s, or 50s). I recognize that I’ve had some level of dissatisfaction at each age and yet if I look back, those younger bodies that weren’t perfect seem fantastic to me now, strong and limber. I know if I look back at this age from 10 or 20 years older, I’ll remember how I could walk easily, ride my bike, keep restarting my yoga practice. I get to real acceptance every so often, then I go back into the prison of society’s unrealistic expectations. I’m willing to let go–it’s just hard.
Wait until you are in your 70’s,
dear Barb…:)
Yep!
I hear you Barb.
This is not easy.
I am losing weight and will continue to do so for my health,
especially, for the good of my hip and knee joints.
But oh my, it isn’t making the skin on my face any tighter.
So far I am making peace with this.
My face looks older, but I have the same smile and it’s still me.
My vanity is struggling while the wise part of me knows this is fine.
Such a process this.
Much peace to you, Barb, and to all. ☀️
That the burden of “cleaning out” may be my total responsibility.
That I may not find a new best friend in the community that I now live.
I hear you, Yram. I was responsible for my parents’ house full of stuff when they moved to assisted living for my mom’s vascular dementia. She had been “sorting” with a new “system” applied every time she went downstairs so there were piles and piles, as if the tide had come in, left some detritus, and retreated, then come in again at a different spot to leave a new pile. I’m trying to spare my children that by getting rid of things but I have a ways to go.
I hope you find friends and that someone becomes a good friend. Best friends are tougher to find. I’m lucky that my best friend in the town I haven’t lived in for 12 years loves to talk on the phone. We call each other at random times, like when I’m going on a walk or she’s waiting for something. Whoever called says cheerfully, “I got nothin’!” and then we talk about the daily things in our lives. When I get to see her because I go back to that town it’s as if we’ve been spending every day together because we’ve kept our connection strong.
Generational trauma. Asking myself why. Accepting the fact that my mother was not able to be there for me because she was never taught how to be supportive of others.
I am with you Lauryn. I also get carried away in the why. Why me, what did I do wrong? I’ve come to realize I did nothing wrong but I also didn’t deserve how I was treated. I have then asked myself, how do I fix this feeling and it always come down to expressing love and compassion, especially towards myself. I am ok. I am loved and i am cared for. Although it hurt and it still does, I am ok and you will be too. 🧡
In order to stay in my home, I have had to be willing to let go of keeping the yard as pristine as I use to. I’ve had to admit that I need help cleaning my home. It’s very hard for me to let go and to accept my limitations but I’m working on my mind to have more compassion for my body. Again, as I’ve said many times, my job is willingness.
I am willing to let go of all the “shoulds” that society has placed on me & the rest of us.
I am letting go of all the negativity & negative people in my life; there is 1 in particular. I will continue to pray for her, however she is bad for my mental health.
I am trying to let go of my sadness & melancholy over the recent deaths of my husband & family members, “my support system”.
I guess working thru this gamut of emotions is part of the grieving process. I am learning to carry this sadness with me as I go forward into the unknown.
I want to be happy & joyful.
I’m still sad about one of my brothers dying in his mid 60s unexpectedly, my parents dying in their old age. Maybe you mean the sharp sadness that sits in front of every other feeling. For me that did recede with time. But the sadness is still there because my love for them lives on. Why wouldn’t I be sad that they’re gone? I don’t consciously try to keep it in my awareness, but every once in a while something will stab me sharply with a memory. The persistence of my grief reflects the depth of my love.
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is one of my favorite poets. She has some amazing poems on her site, ahundredfallingveils.com, about working through her grief when her 17-year-old son killed himself and then later her father died. She writes about her own transformation and, as you said, learning to carry sadness with her as she goes forward as well as love that’s as strong as ever.
My youngest brother Michael died by his own hand at 42 in 2002. The love is there, and he lives on through our niece Jeannette and his widow Eglantina. The grief only visits when someone I know, or I know someone who has a sibling or child commit suicide.
Thank you Barb. I love Rosemerry W.T.
I have been receiving her daily poems forever.
Her dear son Finn passed shortly after I lost my beloved brother. Her poems after that tragedy & currently, speak to me so so deeply. Her poetry is exquisite.
Thank you for referencing her. ❤️
Yes, those “shackles of should!” Sounds like you are very wise and aware. Blessings to you and wishing you much joy one day at a time.
Thank you Carol, you are so kind.
And joy to you too….❤️
Thank you so much for the question. It comes at the right time. Today is my fourth day in California, and I feel unhappy with the trip. Why? Because I expected to have some quality time with my mom and sister while staying with them. But things did not go my way. Someone else needed her the most, so she went out the whole day, immersed in business. Our trip to Northern California also got canceled. I can only see my mom at night when she return home and sleep with me. The feeling of being upset doesn’t make me feel any better, instead, it takes me away from the little cheerful moments that I had. I complained to my mom, asking why she wants me to stay longer but doesn’t have much time for me. She said that seeing me when she returns home makes her happy. Today is the last Sunday in the Church year, and I’m looking forward to the opportunity to go to Mass with her. Letting go of my upset feelings is the key for me to enjoy the time I’m here with my mom. Wishing everyone a wonderful Sunday.
I’m so sorry your Mom has been busy during the time
you had hoped to spend with her Ngoc.
Years ago, when I was with my Mom
she would always spend the whole time
talking about my sisters. That hurt.
I’m wondering about that person
who has needed your Mom most while you are visiting.
I hope you are able to enjoy Mass today with your Mom.
Once when a nephew was upset about something his Mom had done,
I told him that parents are just people and they will never be exactly
who you want them to be.
This helped me to accept my Mom as she was
I hope you can find some healing and acceptance of your Mom.
Wishing you peace and healing Ngoc. ♥️♥️♥️
My Ngoc, at least you’ll be able to see your mom more often now than back when she was still in Vietnam.
I hope you get more loving moments with her on this trip, Ngoc. I understand why you’d feel upset too.
Thank you, Barb. Have a warm weekend. ☀
I continue letting go of my expectations and the way I think things (and people) should be.
Expectations smother possibilities.
I can relate to this very much, thank you Laura.
“Expectations smother possibilities.” What a powerful line! Thank you for this.
Fearing what others think of me. I know who I am, I love myself, I don’t need validation from others when I know my worth.
My strong desire for freedom has held me back before in more structured environments. I’m at least on the right path. A few things I have going for me are: quickly adapting to my environment, the Paw Mu rebelion root being addressed, and resigning from my Project 9X advocacy project at the perfect timing right before Thanksgiving. Manage is a better term than letting go. That strong desire for freedom, afterall, has shaped me into who I am, fueled my creativity, and has given me the strength to challenge the statis quo to advocate for those on my boat at a disadvantage.