You should deeper understanding of other people’s perspectives Suika game and perspectives can help you better understand the cause of conflict and find a solution.
It is not so much conflict i have with those around me in my living situation which is an older style village living which i enjoy however i have come across not so much conflict, more differences of people and how they think and the edges that appear with that. A creative idea that jumped up from me very quickly when reading the question was to print out Word for the day and pop it in their letterboxes and they can choose to read or not. I will do this and see what occurs or not.
I feel it is discernment. It starts with me, so an open and honest look at my part in the conflict. What can I do? Is the conflict able to be resolved? What are the consequences of it being left undone? But then I look at nature and see how it resolves conflict. Water seems to go around obstacles and find its own level.
Right now, I am working hard on changing a behavior…so I have to take it one day at a time- sometimes during the day….it is one minute at a time. I remember that there are consequences to my actions…that impact my emotional health as well as my physical health. One step at a time. Thank you for this question, and reinforcing positive behavior on my part. Thank you to this group for your support always. God Bless.
Most, if not all of my conflicts are inner conflicts. Thankfully, I have the meditation method of exactly how to let go. Even just knowing we should let it go isn’t enough for most of us because we lack a concrete method. Therefore we need an actual method to our amazing amount of thoughts in our heads ! They say we have between 50,000-65,000 thoughts a day and most of them are negative reoccurring from the day before!
Today I chose to do a few things on my list and decided to use the rest of the day to be creative! I paint a bit and it’s something I enjoy but I have very little experience. I’m working on getting to know oil paints better this last year . It’s really fun, but not at all easy! That’s ok it’s good to learn to throw myself into new things as much as I can ! I’m grateful for being adventurous and I try to throw away fear of not being perfect!
I have tried journaling and a way to center my thoughts so I can deal with conflict better. I hear its supposed to help to clear your mind but it overwhelms me even more. I don’t really understand how to journal. Do you write down all your fears and worries and feelings or do you write down manifestation, that is how you see the situation improving and all the positive things. Do you write about the good in your life and your feelings or the bad in your life and all the feelings. It’s very confusing and what was supposed to be a creative way is now another source of stress.
Thank you for your comment Journey! I hear you! I too feel overwhelm by trying to journal. I am trying to find a method that works for me and just get started by writting the good, the fears, the joys, the worries and ending with a possitive quote to manifest my desire to own my situations with out fear or worry. May you find a path that works for you. Blessings on this day and always.
The major challenge in my life is the continued delay of a starting date for my husband’s medical treatment. Today I came to the thought that maybe the the doctor wants to make sure all the data is in, before the course of treatment is set. It is so energy draining .
To refrain it is, uncertainty is looming in both of our lives.
YRAM, I certainly do not know what the medical treatment is that you are waiting for….but I suggest you keep on top of your medical providers. Ask them what is the hold up…you have a right to know. Sometimes, the wait is too long. It is stressful to have an illness and then the waiting for providers to initiate a plan of care can be frustrating. Keep communicating- daily if necessary. Prayers for strength and resolution.
My biggest battle right now is within and mindfulness helps me corral my life-limiting thoughts and work through the anxiety they are creating. I also find that reaching out and checking on others helps me keep a positive perspective on my situation and Stop, Look, Go helps me stay in the present moment.
Fortunately I don’t have any conflicts to deal with right now but in the past I have found it useful to do a writing exercise I read about many years ago. You divide a page into two columns, at the top of one column you put “How I feel”. At the top of the other column you write “Camera view”. Then list the details of the situation and what you are feeling about it on one side and on the other side you write what is actually happening as if it is being veiwed dispassionately through a camera lens. It helps to see a situation in reality without any emotional influence. I find this helps me deal with a situation more calmly and with less catastrophising.
I love this. I have started journaling and struggle with what exactly to write. A friend told me divide the page in two. In one column, write about the situation you are in and how you are feeling, let is all out, the fear, the worry. In the 2nd column, manifest the complete opposite, the situation resolving, the confidence that things are getting better, get specific, put down dates like I will find a job by May. My skin is healing and will be cleared by the end of the month. I am trying but I still struggle with writing. May I ask if you write on paper or online? I cannot write on paper at all. I’ve lost the practice and art. The max I can write is a grocery list. So I journal online but I’m being told it’s not as effective. Journaling is supposed to calm be but it’s over whelming me instead as I don’t know exactly what the right approach is.
Hi Journey,
I write in an exercise book. It’s what suits me. If you want to type everything that’s just as good.. After all writers write everything online whether it’s an article or a novel. When I was writing for piblication I still wrote in long-hand first. I couldn’t get a good flow by typing as I’m a two finger typist! Don’t be constrained by what others think you should do. I’m not sure about the value of writing down the date you reckon to get a job or anything like that. Sounds very pressured and you can’t force things to happen. They happen at the right time for us, whatever we want or plan. I have journals going back many years now and it’s interesting sometimes to look back and see what I was doing and how I was dealing with things 10 or so years ago. If you can’t get into writing maybe it’s not for you. Maybe drawing stick-man pictures (doesn’t have to be a work of art!) helps you or maybe just finding time to quietly think things through. All the best 🦋
Workarounds – regarding FMLA… Pat is back in the hosp, she was only home for 3 days and Dad had to call EMS, she is currently in ICU. I have 120 hrs of banked sick time which I was planning on using when time comes to go out on FMLA. I had a co-worker of mine tell me apparently this ‘bank sick time’ is only to be used for myself. My son informed me of a ‘workaround’ regarding FMLA, that stress is one of the reasons to use so that I should still be able to use it. I’m still waiting to hear back from HR and I will need to make an doctor appt with a new office at some point. Feeling very overwhelmed.
Thank you so much everyone for all of your responses. My dad made the decision when she is ready to be discharged from ICU she will be going into a Hospice Facility where she will get better care there than at home.
My youngest daughter is flying in this week for 5 days (moved up from her original itinerary). I’m looking forward to seeing her, it’s been awhile.
I made myself a dr. appt on valentines day.
I appreciate all your good advice.
Hi Michele, I used to work in FMLA years ago. I currently have an FMLA for myself for dealing w/ my daughter. It is way easier to just ask for one for yourself. You just meet with your doctor and then they write it up for you (for me my doctor suggested talk therapy). It can get complicated if it is written for a family member. Your doctor should be able to advise you they do this kind of paperwork all the time. I currently have 4 hours a week allocated but you can request a block leave too (period of time). I did a block a few years ago to see my daughter in the hospital. It is for job protection. Not 100% sure about your policy for sick time where you work but have seen sick time used for FMLA at places of employment.
I want to thank everyone who has responded this far for your experience and wisdom. When I saw the question today, I knew the Goddesses were looking after me. My sister and her daughter, my niece, are mired in an ongoing conflict. Tomorrow I will spend time with my niece at an athletic competition for her daughter. For the first time in this conflict, I feel right in the middle as my niece validated the situation last night via text, and how it might influence her behavior on Saturday should her mother attend. I remember Kevin posting some time back the question, “Whose problem is it to solve”?.
I am clear this is not my problem to solve. And I will stand on that, with compassion and empathy. So I release any ego that says I can or should help them solve this. IF anything comes up, I will listen, reflect simply, not make anyone wrong, and If I can land a powerful question, great. My main goal? Root for my grandniece and learn more about what competitive cheer is all about!
I am not currently in a direct conflict. I think one way for me to approach any difficult situation is to pause. Breathe. Remembering everyone I meet knows something I do not. Nonjudgement. Staying present in the now. Listen. Not as creative as say making animal shapes out of ballons, but I think simple may just work.
The biggest recurring conflict is with my 13-year-old daughter. Middle school is difficult. I receive the brunt of her frustrations about waking up early, homework, chores, and relationships. I’m trying to observe the visceral experience when she is rude. I’m trying to be with the discomfort and not react from it. I’m also teaching her I am here for support; I am not a punching bag. I’ve recently been reminded to validate her feelings. I get it—I want to be heard, too. I love her dearly. She is an amazing teacher.
Dear Avril, our daughter is experiencing the adolescent angst of her 13-year-old daughter. Maybe she has recalled how puberty raised its mighty forces in her as she apologized a couple of days ago to her mother for being such a pain in the ass. I know myself and my two brothers were not all that loveable in that stage of life either. Stay the course.
I was going to say that there aren’t any conflicts in my life at the moment, at least with other people. Then I thought about the various inner battles I encounter each day, especially to not be so hard on myself. I’m going to follow EJP’s advice and be as kind and sweet to me as I would be to a friend.
Happy Friday, everyone!
“You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” so i will approach this current conflict in my life with pure beauty, hope, kindness and love….homemade cookies, sweet words on paper and a sincere smile.
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You should deeper understanding of other people’s perspectives Suika game and perspectives can help you better understand the cause of conflict and find a solution.
It is not so much conflict i have with those around me in my living situation which is an older style village living which i enjoy however i have come across not so much conflict, more differences of people and how they think and the edges that appear with that. A creative idea that jumped up from me very quickly when reading the question was to print out Word for the day and pop it in their letterboxes and they can choose to read or not. I will do this and see what occurs or not.
I feel it is discernment. It starts with me, so an open and honest look at my part in the conflict. What can I do? Is the conflict able to be resolved? What are the consequences of it being left undone? But then I look at nature and see how it resolves conflict. Water seems to go around obstacles and find its own level.
Water, always seeking its level. So true Don.
thank you Don
Right now, I am working hard on changing a behavior…so I have to take it one day at a time- sometimes during the day….it is one minute at a time. I remember that there are consequences to my actions…that impact my emotional health as well as my physical health. One step at a time. Thank you for this question, and reinforcing positive behavior on my part. Thank you to this group for your support always. God Bless.
Most, if not all of my conflicts are inner conflicts. Thankfully, I have the meditation method of exactly how to let go. Even just knowing we should let it go isn’t enough for most of us because we lack a concrete method. Therefore we need an actual method to our amazing amount of thoughts in our heads ! They say we have between 50,000-65,000 thoughts a day and most of them are negative reoccurring from the day before!
Today I chose to do a few things on my list and decided to use the rest of the day to be creative! I paint a bit and it’s something I enjoy but I have very little experience. I’m working on getting to know oil paints better this last year . It’s really fun, but not at all easy! That’s ok it’s good to learn to throw myself into new things as much as I can ! I’m grateful for being adventurous and I try to throw away fear of not being perfect!
I have tried journaling and a way to center my thoughts so I can deal with conflict better. I hear its supposed to help to clear your mind but it overwhelms me even more. I don’t really understand how to journal. Do you write down all your fears and worries and feelings or do you write down manifestation, that is how you see the situation improving and all the positive things. Do you write about the good in your life and your feelings or the bad in your life and all the feelings. It’s very confusing and what was supposed to be a creative way is now another source of stress.
Thank you for your comment Journey! I hear you! I too feel overwhelm by trying to journal. I am trying to find a method that works for me and just get started by writting the good, the fears, the joys, the worries and ending with a possitive quote to manifest my desire to own my situations with out fear or worry. May you find a path that works for you. Blessings on this day and always.
The major challenge in my life is the continued delay of a starting date for my husband’s medical treatment. Today I came to the thought that maybe the the doctor wants to make sure all the data is in, before the course of treatment is set. It is so energy draining .
To refrain it is, uncertainty is looming in both of our lives.
YRAM, I certainly do not know what the medical treatment is that you are waiting for….but I suggest you keep on top of your medical providers. Ask them what is the hold up…you have a right to know. Sometimes, the wait is too long. It is stressful to have an illness and then the waiting for providers to initiate a plan of care can be frustrating. Keep communicating- daily if necessary. Prayers for strength and resolution.
Hie doctor is waiting for test results from Mayo.
Medical self-advocacy
Extremely wise words, Nannette
My biggest battle right now is within and mindfulness helps me corral my life-limiting thoughts and work through the anxiety they are creating. I also find that reaching out and checking on others helps me keep a positive perspective on my situation and Stop, Look, Go helps me stay in the present moment.
Fortunately I don’t have any conflicts to deal with right now but in the past I have found it useful to do a writing exercise I read about many years ago. You divide a page into two columns, at the top of one column you put “How I feel”. At the top of the other column you write “Camera view”. Then list the details of the situation and what you are feeling about it on one side and on the other side you write what is actually happening as if it is being veiwed dispassionately through a camera lens. It helps to see a situation in reality without any emotional influence. I find this helps me deal with a situation more calmly and with less catastrophising.
I love this. I have started journaling and struggle with what exactly to write. A friend told me divide the page in two. In one column, write about the situation you are in and how you are feeling, let is all out, the fear, the worry. In the 2nd column, manifest the complete opposite, the situation resolving, the confidence that things are getting better, get specific, put down dates like I will find a job by May. My skin is healing and will be cleared by the end of the month. I am trying but I still struggle with writing. May I ask if you write on paper or online? I cannot write on paper at all. I’ve lost the practice and art. The max I can write is a grocery list. So I journal online but I’m being told it’s not as effective. Journaling is supposed to calm be but it’s over whelming me instead as I don’t know exactly what the right approach is.
Hi Journey,
I write in an exercise book. It’s what suits me. If you want to type everything that’s just as good.. After all writers write everything online whether it’s an article or a novel. When I was writing for piblication I still wrote in long-hand first. I couldn’t get a good flow by typing as I’m a two finger typist! Don’t be constrained by what others think you should do. I’m not sure about the value of writing down the date you reckon to get a job or anything like that. Sounds very pressured and you can’t force things to happen. They happen at the right time for us, whatever we want or plan. I have journals going back many years now and it’s interesting sometimes to look back and see what I was doing and how I was dealing with things 10 or so years ago. If you can’t get into writing maybe it’s not for you. Maybe drawing stick-man pictures (doesn’t have to be a work of art!) helps you or maybe just finding time to quietly think things through. All the best 🦋
Good suggestion! Thanks.
Thank you Butterfly
Workarounds – regarding FMLA… Pat is back in the hosp, she was only home for 3 days and Dad had to call EMS, she is currently in ICU. I have 120 hrs of banked sick time which I was planning on using when time comes to go out on FMLA. I had a co-worker of mine tell me apparently this ‘bank sick time’ is only to be used for myself. My son informed me of a ‘workaround’ regarding FMLA, that stress is one of the reasons to use so that I should still be able to use it. I’m still waiting to hear back from HR and I will need to make an doctor appt with a new office at some point. Feeling very overwhelmed.
Thank you so much everyone for all of your responses. My dad made the decision when she is ready to be discharged from ICU she will be going into a Hospice Facility where she will get better care there than at home.
My youngest daughter is flying in this week for 5 days (moved up from her original itinerary). I’m looking forward to seeing her, it’s been awhile.
I made myself a dr. appt on valentines day.
I appreciate all your good advice.
Hi Michele, I used to work in FMLA years ago. I currently have an FMLA for myself for dealing w/ my daughter. It is way easier to just ask for one for yourself. You just meet with your doctor and then they write it up for you (for me my doctor suggested talk therapy). It can get complicated if it is written for a family member. Your doctor should be able to advise you they do this kind of paperwork all the time. I currently have 4 hours a week allocated but you can request a block leave too (period of time). I did a block a few years ago to see my daughter in the hospital. It is for job protection. Not 100% sure about your policy for sick time where you work but have seen sick time used for FMLA at places of employment.
Love and light
Sending hugs, Michele. Stop, Look and Go. Give yourself a break…sit down, have some tea, take deep breaths and take time for yourself. Blessings.
Take a day at a time. My latest thought is not to get ahead of the unfolding. Loving energy.
Michele, Sending loving energy your way.
Sending you a hug, Michele 🤗
I want to thank everyone who has responded this far for your experience and wisdom. When I saw the question today, I knew the Goddesses were looking after me. My sister and her daughter, my niece, are mired in an ongoing conflict. Tomorrow I will spend time with my niece at an athletic competition for her daughter. For the first time in this conflict, I feel right in the middle as my niece validated the situation last night via text, and how it might influence her behavior on Saturday should her mother attend. I remember Kevin posting some time back the question, “Whose problem is it to solve”?.
I am clear this is not my problem to solve. And I will stand on that, with compassion and empathy. So I release any ego that says I can or should help them solve this. IF anything comes up, I will listen, reflect simply, not make anyone wrong, and If I can land a powerful question, great. My main goal? Root for my grandniece and learn more about what competitive cheer is all about!
Just BE with them. Enjoy the vibrant surroundings.
Thank you, Yram.
Both my daughters were cheerleaders and did competitive too – it’s fun and energetic:)
I am not currently in a direct conflict. I think one way for me to approach any difficult situation is to pause. Breathe. Remembering everyone I meet knows something I do not. Nonjudgement. Staying present in the now. Listen. Not as creative as say making animal shapes out of ballons, but I think simple may just work.
Sound advice…thank you Joseph
The biggest recurring conflict is with my 13-year-old daughter. Middle school is difficult. I receive the brunt of her frustrations about waking up early, homework, chores, and relationships. I’m trying to observe the visceral experience when she is rude. I’m trying to be with the discomfort and not react from it. I’m also teaching her I am here for support; I am not a punching bag. I’ve recently been reminded to validate her feelings. I get it—I want to be heard, too. I love her dearly. She is an amazing teacher.
Dear Avril, our daughter is experiencing the adolescent angst of her 13-year-old daughter. Maybe she has recalled how puberty raised its mighty forces in her as she apologized a couple of days ago to her mother for being such a pain in the ass. I know myself and my two brothers were not all that loveable in that stage of life either. Stay the course.
Thanks Joseph
I was going to say that there aren’t any conflicts in my life at the moment, at least with other people. Then I thought about the various inner battles I encounter each day, especially to not be so hard on myself. I’m going to follow EJP’s advice and be as kind and sweet to me as I would be to a friend.
Happy Friday, everyone!
Yes, the importance of self care.
“You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” so i will approach this current conflict in my life with pure beauty, hope, kindness and love….homemade cookies, sweet words on paper and a sincere smile.