Reflections

Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment.

  1. Erich617

    A little while ago I made the decision to do whatever I could to make the people around me laugh. It didn’t last very long, just a few days. It was difficult to maintain, but I found that it brought a lot more ease to my relationships and interactions. Maybe my approach was too much, but I could use levity to approach conflict.

    3 months ago
  2. devy

    Focus on the good things in life that I have my talents. Continue practicing my guitar lessons and perhaps take some private lessons, restart my exercise and stretching program that will help me with my old age aches and pains.

    3 months ago
  3. Don Jones

    Ask the question, “Whose will shall be done?”

    3 months ago
  4. Elizabeth

    I’m married to an extremely negative person and I have not handled it well in the last 5 or so yrs since they have been retired since they are home all the time. SO I have to listen to what they say but not react and not let their behaviour or what they say keep effecting my mental health .

    3 months ago
    1. Michele

      I love this quote and think it is fitting – ‘ Do not let others negativity affect your inner peace’

      3 months ago
    2. Joseph McCann

      I am married to someone who always envisions the worst to occur Elizabeth. Not particularly negative in the moment but overly worried about what may happen. I too must protect my mental health . In the past I have turned to alcohol.

      3 months ago
    3. devy

      It’s difficult for both of you I can imagine. I retired 10 years ago and the first three were hell for my wife. Luckily she still worked/works. I understood why my actions such as over drinking were caused because of being alone, feeling no longer important and missing social contact. I was given an ultimatum about my drinking, stopped it, got out and volunteered, and took up new hobbies such as my music. My wife still has to work several years but I enjoy my retirement now, see things in a more positive light. I hope that your husband finds his calling in his new life and learns to appreciate his life.

      3 months ago
  5. Linda

    The idea of “Who owns this problem? is a great first step in resolving a conflict. I have a current situation for which this question is perfect–thank you!

    3 months ago
  6. Diane

    Good moring to my dear friend Pilgrim on this Prayer Tuesday.
    The season change is upon us here in the wild west and it is magical. I hope you are soaking up every moment of this season in your still-new surroundings. Grateful as always to be with you on this journey my friend. Blessings ♥

    3 months ago
    1. Pilgrim

      Good afternoon, Diane. I apologize for being here fairly late in the day! I have been spending a fair amount of time walking the beach lately … it is just down the road. Being there is a balm to my soul. I am grateful that the crowds present during the summer season have dissipated. I grew up knowing Lake Michigan on the Chicago side, as my mom and family were from there. Now I am gifted with this side, a late in life privilege.
      Many blessings to you and your family, my friend!

      3 months ago
      1. Rabbit

        We come to the South Haven Saugatuck, Holland, Grand Haven side about 1/1/2 hours from us. Is that your side now?

        3 months ago
        1. Pilgrim

          Yes it is. I took short trips here for years, and now my family lives here. I am more than grateful.

          3 months ago
  7. Diane

    Such thoughtful…and helpful responses. Thank you all for your authentic sharing.
    Similar to “not my pasture”, I recently was introduced to a saying that has been transformative for me. “Not my monkey, not my circus” has helped me let go when diving in (my first impulse) is not serving me well. Since I have a tendency towards taking on everyone else’s issues and automatically assuming that it has to do with me, this has been freeing.

    3 months ago
  8. GR8FULL

    So many great responses today – as usual. It seems like there are an over abundance of conflicts in my life right now. My teenage son is struggling with life, my ex-wife’s involvement in the solution is driving an internal conflict for me, my girlfriend’s witnessing all of this which is stirring up a lot for her/us, and my daily internal conflict with my past and moving beyond it. Today I will be the observer, not the pilot or mix master. Today I will notice the emotions, body sensations, and feelings I have and approach my conflicts from that perspective. Without me, there would be no conflicts so let’s see what’s going on with me first.

    3 months ago
    1. A
      Ana Maria

      Powerful response!

      3 months ago
  9. Carol

    My current conflict is within and it’s my attempt to remain positive about my current limitations which are both emotional and physical. I read the daily meditation for Sept. 20th from the Center for Action and Contemplation ( https://cac.org/daily-meditations/ ) this morning and it provided me with my answer to today’s question. It is definitely the attitude I have taken since these limitations have arisen in my life. That said, some days my situation challenges my creative mind set!

    3 months ago
    1. Rabbit

      I can relate Carol. Always trying to remind myself of what I can do and the blessings that I do have. My husband’s mom had a plaque that is ours now. The saying on it is: Old age is not for sissies. So true. 💕

      3 months ago
    2. Diane

      I am with you Carol. Most of my conflicts these days are accepting, with peace and equanimity, my physical and emotional limitations. This is the challenge for me in my “second half of life” as Fr. Rohr calls it.
      Om Shanti friend ♥

      3 months ago
    3. A
      Ana Maria

      Sending you much love for today and everyday. Thank you for your offering of the Center for Action and Contemplation, beautiful site! I have added it to my favorites. I thank you!

      3 months ago
    4. sparrow

      Take heart,
      dear Carol…
      you are not alone. ♥

      3 months ago
  10. Rabbit

    I am known for over studying and over analyzing plus persistence. My current situation of deciding what to do about osteoporosis is a perfect example. My efforts to solve a problem become a problem themselves. I don’t have much of an answer to this question. Maybe just take a breath and learn to trust. And just how would I do that? More over analyzing creating another problem. See the cycle?
    Will be looking for hints from other answers.

    3 months ago
    1. Pilgrim

      Rabbit, I do very simple yoga in the morning to ease my ongoing pain. I don’t push too far, but do breathe deeply and move slowly, honoring my limitations. I also use heating pads a lot on my lower back, which also provide some relief. Self-kindness … you deserve it!!

      3 months ago
      1. Rabbit

        Thank you Pilgrim. Indeed there are several yoga poses they say not to do with osteoporosis but if I can easily do them it seems like it would be ok. They aren’t those extreme poses, just things like cow and cat. Appreciate the tips.

        3 months ago
    2. Avril

      Acceptance and apathy aren’t the same thing. You can accept the situation but persistently look for ways to prevent further degeneration of the bones. Your positivity that will help.

      3 months ago
  11. Racel W.

    I think stop and give some space and thought about the conflict before responding. Do some work to determine the root of the conflict. Seek to understand and then determine if action necessary. Maybe it is a mental release on my part that requires me to handle it internally.

    If it involves another start with grace think about the outcome and the approach to take. Be open to adjusting as you enter into understanding with the other party.

    Also all conflict isn’t bad if the focus is on the situation and possible outcome. Keep my emotions in check and be wise with my tongue.

    3 months ago
  12. Avril

    I feel like I write the same answer for many questions. But, I stand by this: it starts with me. When I am doing what I need to be doing to remain connected to center: affirmative prayer, meditation, peppering the day with mindfulness, then I become peace. There are always going to be challenging people in our lives. But it takes two to have conflict. I’ve shared that my stepdaughter and I have a prickly relationship. However, over the last 30 days I’ve been deeply immersed in practice. It’s amazing to see the direct impact on our sensitive situation. Furthermore, although I’m trying not to do this intentionally, I think it’s having a positive influence on her behavior as well. I don’t want to be attached to trying to be her “role model“. But, it appears to be a lovely fringe benefit.

    3 months ago
    1. Rabbit

      Are you open to saying more about your affirmative prayer, meditation, peppering the day with mindfulness techniques or practices?

      3 months ago
      1. Avril

        Yes! I use affirmative prayer as prescribed in the Unity Tradition: https://www.unity.org/en/article/about-affirmative-prayer. The rest of my practice is can be found on Antara Yoga: https://www.antaryoga.org/. Everyday I do something called The Daily goal and the internal dialogue. They can both be downloaded as pdfs.

        3 months ago
        1. Rabbit

          Thank you very much Avril. Looking forward to spending some time at these sites. Peace for your day.

          3 months ago
  13. Robin Ann

    Praying and learning are my ways I approach conflicts. I do have a current conflict so here I am with a new approach that hopefully helps me : )

    3 months ago
  14. Marnie Jackson

    With curiousity – understanding why the person thinks the way they do.

    3 months ago
  15. Carla

    My personality can be very Taurean being born mid May. Years mixed with maturity have softened my head strong-ness. I’ve come to trust God will bring me through the situation at hand. I can always use my humor and enjoy others comments here. “Not my pasture..” strikes a good cord!

    3 months ago
1 2

Stay Grateful

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.