Even when you think you know it all, there is still so much left to learn. Listen more than you speak, be kind and be grateful for the now because time goes by all too fast.
– Leave skeletons in the closet- one my Mom would say about family personal matters that should be left only in the family.
– Eat all your dinner, children are starving in china and be a member of the clean plate club
– I learned to be frugal from my Nana, we would shop for clothes finding bargains for school and she would make clothing for me. She was excellent at that.
I share a morning meditation I wrote this year:
Morning Meds Jan 16 2024 My Teachers
Any situation I face and any person who crosses my path is my teacher. Many times the lesson helps me gain self-awareness and grow. Other times the lesson teaches me what is not healthy and helpful to my growth.
As for important teachers that stand out, I would start with my kindergarten teacher. She was so loving, so present to all of her students. I am 81 years old and thinking of her still warms my heart.
I call an Episcopal priest who entered my life in my mid-30s my Moses. He was an important teacher. He was truly a man of God who understood that we all have to write our own Bible. He helped me identify the difference between the God church dogma presented to me and the God of my own understanding and experience.
As Rumi taught me in his writings, “Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.” In my case, there’s been a lot of unlearning to do!
As for what situations have been important teachers in my life. Many situations have taught me there is a big difference between submission and surrender.
Thankfully surrender is always a choice. Surrender says life is trustworthy and so am I. It does not manipulate, it processes. It lets go.
Submission craves control. It says “okay, I’ll submit for the day” but refuses to let go. It ruminates depletes my energy and ties me to the past or the future robbing me of the strength that is only available in present moment.
The biggest thing I have learned from my mentors and my experience is that life is not an evacuation route. I am not here to please a higher power so I can be rewarded in the afterlife.
My mantra is best expressed in John Lennon’s song, “Imagine.” It is such a powerful expression of the importance of NOW and the wish that the world would live as one. The only thing I know for sure is that what I do NOW matters for those who came before me and those who will come after me. They are all my ancestors and my descendants. My species has an obligation to all of Creation.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom, Carol! I don’t know if you consider yourself an “elder” at 81, but I feel like I just have gotten some wisdom from an elder : )
I especially appreciated the reflection on the difference between surrender and submission.
“Be yourself”.
“Keep your head down & Work hard”.
“Study hard, your future depends on it”.
“This too shall pass”.
“Keep your nose clean”. (never quite understood this one, other than the obvious.)
“Save for a rainy day”.
I have always enjoyed being around older people, and as someone who’s interested in history, I can’t help but to ask questions about what it was like for them. Through wars, economic collapse, migration, births, deaths, marriages, and so many other situations.
From them, I have learned that wisdom doesn’t just come to you as you age, you must seek it out.
Also, not to sweat the small stuff. And of course so much more.
Do unto others as you have them do to you.
Always make your bed in the morning.
Make the best decisions you can at the time. And then deal with the outcome, be it rejoicing or regret.
Many elders in my life have role-modelled for me a kind of open, transparent love that has seemed to lack many of the self-protective layers that often appear in younger people. I have been part of my local faith community since moving to this town 19 years ago. When my husband and I were new to the community, it was many of the elders who reached out to us and made us feel welcome, accepted, and cherished. They also shared their life stories with us in a open, non-self judging way.
Perhaps thinking of them can help me learn to develop some of those qualities in myself even though I am not yet an elder.
Patience is a virtue. My Mom said this often. When I was a teenage, I would roll my eyes at this. But guess what? It has merit. Really enjoyable to read all your reflections. Our elders and their collective wisdom have shaped who and how we are.
I didn’t have much contact with my Grandparents,
but I do know my Grandmother loved gardening.
I saw her hibiscus🌺flowering bushes when we visited her in Southern Florida.
Reds, yellows, pinks, large flowers, almost the size on my hand, dazzling in the hot semi tropical sun.
The lesson I take from her is to enjoy and nurture nature in all its abundant glory.
To this day I love hibiscus and they make me think of my Grandmother.
From my Mother I learned to be thoughtful.
Mom always sent greeting cards to friend and relatives,
often Thinking of You Cards.
From Mom, I also learned the joy of giving,
as she really enjoyed sending cards and including a personal note in each.
From my Dad, I learned my work ethic from watching him work hard every day.
I also learned to take rest from Dad as he rested well when he was not working
and encouraged his daughters to do the same.
I have red and yellow hibiscus in my back yard. My mom was the same and always sent bday cards/anniversary/congrats to everyone – she was a giver and we had that in her obit too.
Thank you:)
I love hibiscus!
Have you seen the doubles?
Really gorgeous!
But it’s the large singles that make me think of my Grandmother.
Remembering my Mom writing and sending cards
gives me such a warm feeling.
Thanks Michele!
Lessons I have learned from elders in my life? There are so many of them. And the one that shaped my personality was finishing all that I had in my bowl. It may sound a bit weird, as I now live in a developed country. Wherever I visited, I saw people wasting food. I always remember my grandpa passing by when he saw I was eating. He always reminds me to finish all I have in my bowl, don’t even a grain of rice. And most people in my grandpa’s generation did it to their children. Now, I think we live in a life that is more than enough that we are unable to “finishing all we have in our bowl.” I would love to thanks my grandpa for that teaching and I still do it in my life.
My Ngoc, I try to do the same as well. It’s why we scoop less and get more later when we’re still hungry. I’m picky about people wasting food. The idea of cooking something and leaving it on the stove for 3 days never appeals to me.
Thanks for saying that. You remind me of my grandma. She passed away when I was 7 yrs old. So, I don’t have that much memory of her. My mom told me that except for times that my grandma had to wear a colostomy bag, she always attended Mass as her most important part of life.
God bless you, Sunnypatti.
Ngoc, thank you. Your grandma sounds like a wonderful lady. I’m sorry you lost her so early in your life, but she is with you in spirit. God bless you, too 🙂
1st of all, my definition of an elder is different from most people. To put in a nutshell, age is just a number. I’ve had people from my parents’ generation before talking to me like a best friend such as my mom and past piano instructors. Whereas my sister-in-law, Tracy, and Paw Mu, who are just a few years older than me, have talked to me like a parent to a child. Enough on that.
There are too many lessons to list off. The main advice I take from Paw Mu is to not go alone. Simply put; we live with people.
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Even when you think you know it all, there is still so much left to learn. Listen more than you speak, be kind and be grateful for the now because time goes by all too fast.
here are a few that come to mind:
– Leave skeletons in the closet- one my Mom would say about family personal matters that should be left only in the family.
– Eat all your dinner, children are starving in china and be a member of the clean plate club
– I learned to be frugal from my Nana, we would shop for clothes finding bargains for school and she would make clothing for me. She was excellent at that.
Sempre Famiglia – Always Family
My Dad’s favorite saying
I’ve wrestled with it throughout the years but the loyalty and love remains
I share a morning meditation I wrote this year:
Morning Meds Jan 16 2024 My Teachers
Any situation I face and any person who crosses my path is my teacher. Many times the lesson helps me gain self-awareness and grow. Other times the lesson teaches me what is not healthy and helpful to my growth.
As for important teachers that stand out, I would start with my kindergarten teacher. She was so loving, so present to all of her students. I am 81 years old and thinking of her still warms my heart.
I call an Episcopal priest who entered my life in my mid-30s my Moses. He was an important teacher. He was truly a man of God who understood that we all have to write our own Bible. He helped me identify the difference between the God church dogma presented to me and the God of my own understanding and experience.
As Rumi taught me in his writings, “Recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.” In my case, there’s been a lot of unlearning to do!
As for what situations have been important teachers in my life. Many situations have taught me there is a big difference between submission and surrender.
Thankfully surrender is always a choice. Surrender says life is trustworthy and so am I. It does not manipulate, it processes. It lets go.
Submission craves control. It says “okay, I’ll submit for the day” but refuses to let go. It ruminates depletes my energy and ties me to the past or the future robbing me of the strength that is only available in present moment.
The biggest thing I have learned from my mentors and my experience is that life is not an evacuation route. I am not here to please a higher power so I can be rewarded in the afterlife.
My mantra is best expressed in John Lennon’s song, “Imagine.” It is such a powerful expression of the importance of NOW and the wish that the world would live as one. The only thing I know for sure is that what I do NOW matters for those who came before me and those who will come after me. They are all my ancestors and my descendants. My species has an obligation to all of Creation.
Powerful reading from Richard Rohr that applies: https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-universe-story-is-spiritual/
Thank you for sharing this wisdom, Carol! I don’t know if you consider yourself an “elder” at 81, but I feel like I just have gotten some wisdom from an elder : )
I especially appreciated the reflection on the difference between surrender and submission.
Thanks for the compliment of calling me an elder. Most folks just see me as an old lady! 🙂
😊
Carol, there is such richness in all you offered I screen shot it all for further reflection. Thank you.
Mary Mantei, Glad to hear it was helpful to you.
“Be yourself”.
“Keep your head down & Work hard”.
“Study hard, your future depends on it”.
“This too shall pass”.
“Keep your nose clean”. (never quite understood this one, other than the obvious.)
“Save for a rainy day”.
I have always enjoyed being around older people, and as someone who’s interested in history, I can’t help but to ask questions about what it was like for them. Through wars, economic collapse, migration, births, deaths, marriages, and so many other situations.
From them, I have learned that wisdom doesn’t just come to you as you age, you must seek it out.
Also, not to sweat the small stuff. And of course so much more.
Do unto others as you have them do to you.
Always make your bed in the morning.
Make the best decisions you can at the time. And then deal with the outcome, be it rejoicing or regret.
Many elders in my life have role-modelled for me a kind of open, transparent love that has seemed to lack many of the self-protective layers that often appear in younger people. I have been part of my local faith community since moving to this town 19 years ago. When my husband and I were new to the community, it was many of the elders who reached out to us and made us feel welcome, accepted, and cherished. They also shared their life stories with us in a open, non-self judging way.
Perhaps thinking of them can help me learn to develop some of those qualities in myself even though I am not yet an elder.
Patience is a virtue. My Mom said this often. When I was a teenage, I would roll my eyes at this. But guess what? It has merit. Really enjoyable to read all your reflections. Our elders and their collective wisdom have shaped who and how we are.
There is nothing worth losing your temper over. Take a breath, be in the moment, and listen before speaking.
Good lesson!
I didn’t have much contact with my Grandparents,
but I do know my Grandmother loved gardening.
I saw her hibiscus🌺flowering bushes when we visited her in Southern Florida.
Reds, yellows, pinks, large flowers, almost the size on my hand, dazzling in the hot semi tropical sun.
The lesson I take from her is to enjoy and nurture nature in all its abundant glory.
To this day I love hibiscus and they make me think of my Grandmother.
From my Mother I learned to be thoughtful.
Mom always sent greeting cards to friend and relatives,
often Thinking of You Cards.
From Mom, I also learned the joy of giving,
as she really enjoyed sending cards and including a personal note in each.
From my Dad, I learned my work ethic from watching him work hard every day.
I also learned to take rest from Dad as he rested well when he was not working
and encouraged his daughters to do the same.
Wishing all a happy Friday. Sending love to all.
I have red and yellow hibiscus in my back yard. My mom was the same and always sent bday cards/anniversary/congrats to everyone – she was a giver and we had that in her obit too.
Thank you:)
I love hibiscus!
Have you seen the doubles?
Really gorgeous!
But it’s the large singles that make me think of my Grandmother.
Remembering my Mom writing and sending cards
gives me such a warm feeling.
Thanks Michele!
Thank you Mary.
Lessons I have learned from elders in my life? There are so many of them. And the one that shaped my personality was finishing all that I had in my bowl. It may sound a bit weird, as I now live in a developed country. Wherever I visited, I saw people wasting food. I always remember my grandpa passing by when he saw I was eating. He always reminds me to finish all I have in my bowl, don’t even a grain of rice. And most people in my grandpa’s generation did it to their children. Now, I think we live in a life that is more than enough that we are unable to “finishing all we have in our bowl.” I would love to thanks my grandpa for that teaching and I still do it in my life.
My Ngoc, I try to do the same as well. It’s why we scoop less and get more later when we’re still hungry. I’m picky about people wasting food. The idea of cooking something and leaving it on the stove for 3 days never appeals to me.
There are so many, but the most important one, I believe, is to trust in God. That one didn’t really sink in until I got older.
Thanks for saying that. You remind me of my grandma. She passed away when I was 7 yrs old. So, I don’t have that much memory of her. My mom told me that except for times that my grandma had to wear a colostomy bag, she always attended Mass as her most important part of life.
God bless you, Sunnypatti.
Ngoc, thank you. Your grandma sounds like a wonderful lady. I’m sorry you lost her so early in your life, but she is with you in spirit. God bless you, too 🙂
1st of all, my definition of an elder is different from most people. To put in a nutshell, age is just a number. I’ve had people from my parents’ generation before talking to me like a best friend such as my mom and past piano instructors. Whereas my sister-in-law, Tracy, and Paw Mu, who are just a few years older than me, have talked to me like a parent to a child. Enough on that.
There are too many lessons to list off. The main advice I take from Paw Mu is to not go alone. Simply put; we live with people.
Elbows off the table – from my Nanny
My father was a stickler about that!
😊