Reflections

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  1. Anna

    Disappointment, strong and deep sadness for a new event that I didn’t expect, concern for the people I love.
    I can honor them by letting wonder permeate my soul, nurturing the love I feel for my loved ones, staying in good company, praying, visiting this website, playing sports, singing with my choir, and doing my best with concentration.

    9 months ago
  2. Dolores Kazanjian

    Feelings: fear of death. Honoring them? No idea. Any suggestions?

    9 months ago
    1. Yram

      By your presence you are a gift. We celebrate the gift of you!

      9 months ago
      1. Dolores Kazanjian

        Thank you and bless you.

        9 months ago
  3. Robin Ann

    I struggle with accepting the things I can not change. This may be something I will struggle with for my entire life time. My reason for being here is to rather try to focus on the things that I can change. Practicing feeling grateful will also no doubt be better for my emotional and physical health.

    9 months ago
    1. Dolores Kazanjian

      You are most likely a number 1 on the Eneagram, as am I and Fr. Richard Rohr. We are the “reformers” who are committed to fixing the world. Good luck with acceptance; the two can co-exist side by side. The Reinhold Niebhuhr’s serenity prayer helps a lot.

      9 months ago
  4. Maeve

    The Guesthouse by J. Rumi

    “This being human is a guest house.
    Every morning a new arrival.
    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.
    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still, treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.
    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    meet them at the door laughing,
    and invite them in.
    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.”

    9 months ago
    1. k
      kwtrn

      I love this. I am working on living it! Many unwanted guests have graced my presence recently, mostly in my relationship. I will be more welcoming and give each guest the treatment they deserve to better understand, until it’s time for those feelings to leave!

      9 months ago
    2. Kevin

      A clear and brutal reminder that Rumi was a better human being than I could ever be! Thanks for resetting the bar higher, Maeve!

      9 months ago
  5. Maeve

    Some of the reflections on this question seem to pose ambivalence about “acceptance” of a negative feeling or emotion. Seems to me, acceptance is where it starts. It doesn’t mean that it will end there.

    It’s uncomfortable for me to acknowledge that I do have strong feelings of anger and resentment regarding an email I received from someone I know, that certainly landed as a vicious attack. It really took me aback. I am getting help in looking at this (I hope!) from a wise friend. Meanwhile, I am going to breathe, swim, be kind to myself, and surround myself with kind people. And try to send her good thoughts because this person definitely has many serious health issues.

    9 months ago
    1. Kevin

      Regarding the hurtful email, Maeve. Some times it helps me to remember the phrase, “We speak from where we hurt.” This phrase has helped me in the past when I’ve received notes, emails, and comments like this, that frankly, are quite rare.

      9 months ago
      1. Barb C

        Oh, I need this. I’m reading this a day later and dealing with the fallout from a toxic person (and I don’t use that word lightly). Thank you Kevin.

        9 months ago
      2. Maeve

        Thanks

        9 months ago
  6. Michele

    Today is World Suicide Prevention Day – it happens to coincide on my son’s best friend, Josh’s, birthday. My thoughts are with his family today and all others where suicide has had an impact on their lives.
    My heart and prayers go out to Morocco with the unbelievable amount of death and trauma from the massive earthquake there.

    9 months ago
    1. Barb C

      Michele, I’m so sorry for the pain this causes everyone who cared about Josh. I don’t know if you’ll see this (I’m posting a day late), but a poet whose work I love wrote this poem remembering her son who killed himself two years ago.

      On the Birthday of a Beloved Who Is Gone
      By Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

      for Finn Thilo Trommer, September 11, 2004-August 14, 2021

      Though you said yes to something
      that was not this life, your birthday
      is no less a celebration. Though you

      are not here to blow out candles,
      not here to wake with balloons,
      though you are here as disappearance,

      though I meet this day with tears,
      my heart still rises to revel in ways
      your life still changes my life,

      your life still changes the world.
      It will never be finished, this love.
      It will never be finished, this learning

      what it is to be born, to die,
      to live into ourselves, to choose love
      again and again. Though tears.

      Though ache. Though crumple. Though clench.
      It will never be finished, this practice
      of remembering love. Again. And again.

      https://ahundredfallingveils.com/2023/09/10/on-the-birthday-of-a-beloved-who-is-gone/

      9 months ago
      1. Michele

        Thank you Barb – that was very thoughtful of you, beautiful poem.

        9 months ago
    2. Joseph McCann

      Amen Michele…on both accounts.

      9 months ago
  7. Barb C

    I usually read poetry and this site before other things, but this morning my daughters needed my response on a difficult situation involving an estate settlement and a very difficult family member so I come here more “stirred up” than would be the norm. I thus have all kinds of feelings including anger, frustration, protectiveness for my children, a strong desire to step in where I can’t and shouldn’t and it wouldn’t be helpful. I’ll make the distinction that I might accept that I’m experiencing these feelings, but I’m not going to accept them in the sense of staying in this place. They’re a natural reaction to a long-running problem and I can recognize that. What I need to do is to let them go. I don’t know if that would be considered honoring them. It’s pretty righteous rage and I’m honoring that; I need to not stay there, though. It doesn’t solve anything and I’m only hurting myself.

    9 months ago
    1. Kevin

      You’re 100% guilty, Barb, of being a very good mom, and hooray for that!

      I am forgetting who said this, but as a parent of three daughters, each inching near 50 years old, and with their own families, it helps me to remember when I have feelings like yours that, “Our children are our children, even when they have gray hairs.”

      9 months ago
      1. Barb C

        Yes they are! Thank you Kevin.

        9 months ago
  8. Nannette

    I guess that first I need to acknowledge these feelings before I can accept them. I have several critical feelings of myself- so if I acknowledge them- then that means I need to work on them…which seems the best route to take. As Joseph pointed out…being judgemental is also a feeling…which I do voice- and that needs to stop. Being judgemental of myself is one thing but seeing others and making judgelments is unkind and uncalled for..who am I?? A good question that I will think about throughout the day…and work on myself!! Thank you everyone for your insight!!

    9 months ago
    1. S
      Ana Maria

      Powerful comment! I thank you!! Let the change we want to see in the world begin with us (Quaoted to Mahatma Ghandhi). I need to remind my self of this quote.

      9 months ago
  9. Charlie T

    Ahhh. This is a timely question.
    I’m still working on recognizing my
    feelings and the things I hang on
    them. Accepting them, is a different
    proposition. Memories, experiences,
    and habits, all get attached to my
    feelings. Sorting this all out is my
    current situation. I guess I’m learning
    to observe my feelings instead of
    Letting them run roughshod over me.
    Maybe this is a form of acceptance.

    9 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      That all sounds familiar to me Charley. Thanks.

      9 months ago
  10. Carol

    I’m not sure that accepting all my feelings would be helpful or healthy for me. Acknowledging them, asking myself what I can learn from them and growing in self awareness is the path I do my best to take.

    9 months ago
  11. Laura

    I can first pause to feel them. I tend to be too quick to analyze and rationalize rather than just feeling what I feel.

    9 months ago
  12. Yram

    Right now I have panic lurking. I am co-in charge of a major event and something seems very “off”.
    My other lurking feeling is of insufficiency. My confidence level is off balance and I feel a teetering of patience and acceptance.
    I have honored them by ” verbalizing” them and have faith all will be well.

    9 months ago
  13. Joseph McCann

    The feeling and/or emotion of being judgmental. I strive not to be, but I need to accept that those thoughts creep back in. I need to accept the fact that they are just thoughts, only thoughts. I do not act or need to act upon them. Just recognize them for what they are, accept them, and let them pass. Bring myself back to the present and remember to be kind and peaceful towards my thoughts and others.

    9 months ago
    1. Carol

      Joseph, I find that thoughts and feelings are very hard to separate. Am I having a thought or am I experiencing a feeling? I’m not entirely convinced that they originate from the same place. Thoughts are of the mind and feelings are stirred by the heart. As a person who has struggled with anxiety all my life, I’ve learned that it is usually thought/mind driven. The fear it feeds is usually psychological not the kind of fear that is a justified by immediate danger. For me, judge-mental-ness is usually a thought process in which I’m taking some-one-else’s inventory. I think you are right on when you say that you recognize such thoughts and let them pass. I love your phrase to”remember to be kind and peaceful towards my thoughts and others.” Sounds like a good formula for dealing with my anxiety.

      9 months ago
  14. Kevin

    Part of me is inclined to respond to today’s question with a simple “no,” but it begs an explanation, too. By the time that something that I feel makes it into my head or heart, the process of discernment is already under way in a split second. It’s either a feeling that I accept, honor, and act on, or, it’s a feeling that I dismiss from taking action on for a host of various reasons.

    Difficult feelings that I have honored and accept are that I’m 73 years and old learning to accept the physical limitations of living with Spondyloarthritis. It is quite maddening and difficult, even as I honor the reality of it.

    9 months ago
    1. Carol

      Kevin, Ah!

      “Part of me is inclined to respond to today’s question with a simple “no,” but it begs an explanation, too. By the time that something that I feel makes it into my head or heart, the process of discernment is already under way in a split second. It’s either a feeling that I accept, honor, and act on, or, it’s a feeling that I dismiss from taking action on for a host of various reasons.”

      So well said and so helpful in the ability to separate feelings from thoughts. I think we all tend to mistake thoughts for feelings and when we do, the mind goes a unnecesary rampage!

      9 months ago
      1. Kevin

        You know, Carol, the discernment between thoughts and feelings are one that I didn’t consciously make as I sat with and then responded to today’s question. You just added another whole dimension to how I might have gone about responding! Probably a good thing too that I hadn’t thought of that angle myself because I would have still been trying to fashion a response a response to the Daily Question itself! Whoa! 🙂

        9 months ago
        1. Carol

          I’m chuckling, Kevin, because I did labor over today’s question and your answer was very helpful to me because it actually confirm my belief that thoughts are not feelings but often follow directly from a feeling.Your words, “…By the time something I feel makes it into my head or heart, the process of discernment is already under way…” For me that describes a process that I know I will find helpful in keeping what I’m thinking separate from what I’m feeling so like you so succinctly explained, I can choose to use my mind to determine action or dismissal instead of re-action and regret!

          9 months ago
  15. Don Jones

    Perhaps compassion. There are dimensions of compassion where I sense there is still some resistance. There are some I still struggle to be compassionate towards (if I am honest). I also caught myself directing a lot of criticism towards myself recently. And to put the cherry on top, I found myself wondering if there was a level of fear around giving and receiving compassion from certain people. I guess acknowledgement is the first step towards honoring them.

    9 months ago
    1. Carol

      Don, That makes a lot of sense to me.

      9 months ago

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