It depends. Right now I feel attacked and insulted. The better thing would be my desire to be treated respectfully. What if I stop looking for a response, for a good reaction to this insult? Is the only thing left then to endure? Allow myself to be insulted?
If I take a step back and look at my attacker, I can see his own pain as the reason for his attack. It’s the same pain that I’m feeling right now that connects us. I don’t want to have to endure that. But it’s probably a better way than insulting him too and starting an argument, holding a grudge.
And if I’m doing well? Then I don’t really need anything better. What should that be? Then I can gratefully enjoy what is right now given to me.
Hmmm, I don’t feel like I am seeking something more, better or different at this point in my life. It may enter my mind from time to time but that is about it.
Just a moment ago, I ordered four enamel items: two red saucepans, one black Dutch oven, and one white coffee pot.
I am seeking to build a home with love and beauty. Something magical, something more than what would fall within reasonable expectations of what a home feels like.
However, in seeking this magic, I am also seeking the possibility to withdraw.
To have a home in which one can disappear, recharge, and indeed, be far removed from seeking.
Indeed, I am listening to Lear by Pauline Oliveros. It’s music that does not seek, but withdraws. And as it is evening, I will soon withdraw still more within the comfort of my home-in-building, and my routines-in-the-making.
I have a better chance of being present to what is and trusting both Life and myself. I share a meditation I wrote in 2014.
Meditation for Feb 17, 2014 From Seeking to Seeing
Bare Attention by Carol Ann Conner
When one softens
toward oneself,
the past is forgiven,
the present is embraced,
the future takes care of itself.
The Eternal Now is alive
and you can feel it!
Seeking is forsaken
And seeing is for taking
the chance
of being fully human.
Such vulnerability is
for the making
of Love.
I say that vulnerability is another word for incarnation. I have sensed for years that when I am willing to be vulnerable, willing to celebrate my humanity fully, this thing some call divinity flows. When ever I truly surrender to “what is,” it’s a virgin birth; it’s Messiah—God with and in me, fully human, fully divine. Big Bang, Enlightenment, Cosmic Christ, Second Coming, choose your label.
For me, it’s about forsaking expectations and accepting my limitations. It’s about refusing to fight, freeze, or flee and being willing to face, feel and free my soul. It is the realization that my “yes” will be echoed by the Universe and I can humbly claim the wisdom of the ages.
It shouts, “there is no “Us and Them.” There is only “We.” Let it BE.” It cries, “Choose evolution over revolution. Stop giving up the challenge to grow. Start giving in and letting it flow. Stop trying to get what can’t be got. Start learning to let what evolution has bought.”
Its message is a reminder that the biggest battle resides within; the egoistic mind is the only sin. It has to lose so my personal evolution can win.
We must learn to pay “bare attention” to what is happening in and through us, taking responsibility for what we contribute to the wholeness—the holiness of life; for what holds our attention, influences our intention; and our intention holds our whole world in its hands.
so much wisdom in your words. once a pen appears on my path, your meditation will be hand-written in my copy of the ecco anthology of international poetry, since it fully belongs there. and i will come back to absorb your words more fully..
Practicing gratitude for what I have and
what has been given to me, for all of the
experiences, good bad or otherwise,
that hopefully, leads to contentment.
Now, seeking change, or trying to steer
my life in a direction, has to be questioned.
What are my motives? Who am I doing this
for? What do I expect? And then, being
okay when inevitably, things aren’t quite
what I imagined. It seems the trick, is to
gently steer this ship with a loose hand on
the tiller. It’s the tight grip, the fixed
expectations, and the subconscious motives,
that lead to disappointment, frustration,
and dissatisfaction. It’s constantly reminding
myself and coming back to gratitude that
keeps this boat moving forward.
When my focus moves towards what “is,” that is when acceptance happens. I do have all that I need. There’s no need to go chasing or seeking yellow brick roads to metaphorical Kansas. There is no place like home, and I am there. 🌈☀️🌈
When I stop seeking more, I am able to experience true contentment and gratitude. I appreciate the people in my life and where I am on my path. I feel fulfilled and completely satisfied, living in the moment with absolute joy.
For me, today’s thought & reflection question are directly connected.
“When the earth opens up under your feet, be like a seed. Fall down; wait for the rain.”
My morning meditation focused on how much growth has come over the past two years. Cancer diagnoses in 2022 also brought the painful loss of a relationship which seemed to promise more. I misread it. A wonderful counselor at the time helped me see that this often happens. I have spent these 2 years allowing that seed to die. Today I am aware of how much growth & healing have come with “the rain.” I am deeply grateful for this entire experience. Namaste, all.
When I stop seeking more, better, or something different, peace and satisfaction arise. Seeking a change for the purpose of improvement is good. However, I realize that I can’t expect flowers to bloom if it’s currently winter. So, I become at peace and enjoy the snowflakes falling outside the window, like winter’s own version of flowers.
My Ngoc, it’s certainly no better in the west, but it’s much more obvious here in the east. Unrealistic expectations are the norm. We direct so much energy to improvement to the point where there’s hardly any time to enjoy ourselves. I love the winter version of flowers as snowflakes. It’s simple. Flowers only come to die in the cold and snow. Same with humans with overload leading to a bunch of health problems.
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When I stop seeking, I often find something unexpected, crazy how that works, so I just laugh:)
It depends. Right now I feel attacked and insulted. The better thing would be my desire to be treated respectfully. What if I stop looking for a response, for a good reaction to this insult? Is the only thing left then to endure? Allow myself to be insulted?
If I take a step back and look at my attacker, I can see his own pain as the reason for his attack. It’s the same pain that I’m feeling right now that connects us. I don’t want to have to endure that. But it’s probably a better way than insulting him too and starting an argument, holding a grudge.
And if I’m doing well? Then I don’t really need anything better. What should that be? Then I can gratefully enjoy what is right now given to me.
Hugs
thank you. on some days that’s exactly what you need.
Hmmm, I don’t feel like I am seeking something more, better or different at this point in my life. It may enter my mind from time to time but that is about it.
I am building a home.
Just a moment ago, I ordered four enamel items: two red saucepans, one black Dutch oven, and one white coffee pot.
I am seeking to build a home with love and beauty. Something magical, something more than what would fall within reasonable expectations of what a home feels like.
However, in seeking this magic, I am also seeking the possibility to withdraw.
To have a home in which one can disappear, recharge, and indeed, be far removed from seeking.
Indeed, I am listening to Lear by Pauline Oliveros. It’s music that does not seek, but withdraws. And as it is evening, I will soon withdraw still more within the comfort of my home-in-building, and my routines-in-the-making.
That is very exciting, congrats and enjoy the experience!
I have a better chance of being present to what is and trusting both Life and myself. I share a meditation I wrote in 2014.
Meditation for Feb 17, 2014 From Seeking to Seeing
Bare Attention by Carol Ann Conner
When one softens
toward oneself,
the past is forgiven,
the present is embraced,
the future takes care of itself.
The Eternal Now is alive
and you can feel it!
Seeking is forsaken
And seeing is for taking
the chance
of being fully human.
Such vulnerability is
for the making
of Love.
I say that vulnerability is another word for incarnation. I have sensed for years that when I am willing to be vulnerable, willing to celebrate my humanity fully, this thing some call divinity flows. When ever I truly surrender to “what is,” it’s a virgin birth; it’s Messiah—God with and in me, fully human, fully divine. Big Bang, Enlightenment, Cosmic Christ, Second Coming, choose your label.
For me, it’s about forsaking expectations and accepting my limitations. It’s about refusing to fight, freeze, or flee and being willing to face, feel and free my soul. It is the realization that my “yes” will be echoed by the Universe and I can humbly claim the wisdom of the ages.
It shouts, “there is no “Us and Them.” There is only “We.” Let it BE.” It cries, “Choose evolution over revolution. Stop giving up the challenge to grow. Start giving in and letting it flow. Stop trying to get what can’t be got. Start learning to let what evolution has bought.”
Its message is a reminder that the biggest battle resides within; the egoistic mind is the only sin. It has to lose so my personal evolution can win.
We must learn to pay “bare attention” to what is happening in and through us, taking responsibility for what we contribute to the wholeness—the holiness of life; for what holds our attention, influences our intention; and our intention holds our whole world in its hands.
Wow and thank you
Superb! I will be reading this for a while.
I love “ It’s about refusing to fight, freeze,
or flee and being willing to face, feel and
free my soul.
Carol, I love this poem, especially the title. Take out the k and you get “seeing.”
so much wisdom in your words. once a pen appears on my path, your meditation will be hand-written in my copy of the ecco anthology of international poetry, since it fully belongs there. and i will come back to absorb your words more fully..
Contentment and Grateful arise when I am present and not being greedy .
No discrimination, comparision, competition, movement, pretty much on the way to being in the moment! May you have a lovely sunday all.
This gem of a poem by Galway Kinnell that I’ve memorized says it all. https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2013/09/galway-kinnell-prayer.html
“Prayer”
Whatever happens. Whatever
*what is* is is what
I want. Only that. But that.
Thank you for sharing the poem and the link too!
Practicing gratitude for what I have and
what has been given to me, for all of the
experiences, good bad or otherwise,
that hopefully, leads to contentment.
Now, seeking change, or trying to steer
my life in a direction, has to be questioned.
What are my motives? Who am I doing this
for? What do I expect? And then, being
okay when inevitably, things aren’t quite
what I imagined. It seems the trick, is to
gently steer this ship with a loose hand on
the tiller. It’s the tight grip, the fixed
expectations, and the subconscious motives,
that lead to disappointment, frustration,
and dissatisfaction. It’s constantly reminding
myself and coming back to gratitude that
keeps this boat moving forward.
Love this, especially the tiller. Thank you for sharing.
I found your reflection to be very moving. Thank you Charlie T.
Acceptance
Pleased
Agreeable
Indifference
Surprises and the unexpected happens.
When my focus moves towards what “is,” that is when acceptance happens. I do have all that I need. There’s no need to go chasing or seeking yellow brick roads to metaphorical Kansas. There is no place like home, and I am there. 🌈☀️🌈
When I stop seeking more, I am able to experience true contentment and gratitude. I appreciate the people in my life and where I am on my path. I feel fulfilled and completely satisfied, living in the moment with absolute joy.
For me, today’s thought & reflection question are directly connected.
“When the earth opens up under your feet, be like a seed. Fall down; wait for the rain.”
My morning meditation focused on how much growth has come over the past two years. Cancer diagnoses in 2022 also brought the painful loss of a relationship which seemed to promise more. I misread it. A wonderful counselor at the time helped me see that this often happens. I have spent these 2 years allowing that seed to die. Today I am aware of how much growth & healing have come with “the rain.” I am deeply grateful for this entire experience. Namaste, all.
Josie, isn’t it strange that we can
come through pain and suffering
with gratitude? This thought gives
me hope. Thank you 🙏
When I stop seeking more, better, or something different, peace and satisfaction arise. Seeking a change for the purpose of improvement is good. However, I realize that I can’t expect flowers to bloom if it’s currently winter. So, I become at peace and enjoy the snowflakes falling outside the window, like winter’s own version of flowers.
Ngoc, this is powerful. Seeing things
as they are, can be a challenge.
I love your flower/snowflake metaphor.
My Ngoc, it’s certainly no better in the west, but it’s much more obvious here in the east. Unrealistic expectations are the norm. We direct so much energy to improvement to the point where there’s hardly any time to enjoy ourselves. I love the winter version of flowers as snowflakes. It’s simple. Flowers only come to die in the cold and snow. Same with humans with overload leading to a bunch of health problems.