It is Grace that brings me gratitude
when I am deeply bereaved.
She came to me unexpectedly
as I was grieving the loss of my first child,
and stopped the tears that were falling on my cheeks
in their tracks.
My heart was made full,
as I gazed out across the bay
on an Easter morning,
and I was filled with something so powerful
it near took my breath away.
It happened like a thunderclap in that moment,
and later,
as I returned to nurture my sorrow
and forgot about the moment,
I was bereft once again.
I wasn’t sure what had happened.
But years later,
after much Graceless anguish
it happened again,
and this time I recognized it,
and held it to my breast like a lifeline . . .
since then
I have never completely let go of ser.
Now she returns
even when the grief is not gnawing at my bones,
and is my companion
through both the joy and the pain of my life.
She keeps me alive,
grateful for what I had,
and in absolute awe
of the vastness of her power.
I don’t share this with many people,
as it is something beyond words,
but as real
as arms enclosing me in a tender embrace,
soothing whatever wounds me . . .
an anchor
in an often terrifying world. ♥
Honestly my friends and myself. Reminding myself of all I have been through, that I use to dream of being in this place, and that this is a season in my life I am going through to strengthen me.
Learning to sit with the grief has helped me connect with gratefulness. When I really sit with it and allow it to flow through me, gratitude always makes its way in. Sometimes I need assistance in this, so talking with trusted loved ones, looking at photos, or reading can help. On that, I’d like to recommend a book that my sister recommended to me after my soul cat, BC, passed away at the start of 2023 – The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise by Martin Prechtel. It is about personal grief, worldly grief, and everything in between – and the importance of expressing it all. It offered comfort but also opened my eyes to how unexpressed grief affects the world.
Speaking with trusted friends might open to widen and finding back to gratefulness; sometimes, being in nature and observing the birds being there so naturally offering their singing; like these days, also physically feel coming back to balance and inner stability through doing some exercises with sensual awareness, just observing and feeling the body allows to re-center when out of balance due to deep grief, for which I am deeply grateful; by remembering Gratefulness and the many experiences and things in life which are enriching my life while not suppressing grief but honoring what has been given in abundance nevertheless. Thank you for this question. 🙏🙇♀️🙏
When I awoke this morning and walk up the hall to open the living room curtains, I found myself smiling because the sun was shining so brightly that even the heavy lined drapes were aglow. After several days of clouds, seeing the sunlight nurtured gratefulness for the ever faithful morning sun. I knew it had always been shining but the clouds had hidden its view of me and me of it. I think gratefulness is how I connect with grief today. The clouds of life do not own me though they still try but I know the sun is always there and I am grateful.
If I can allow grief to surge through me, feel it fully, and be patient as it moves, a sense of gratefulness and joy will inevitably follow. Patience is key. Grief operates on its own schedule and timeline. And honestly, it is more powerful than I am. I walk with grief when it appears.
Drea, I am drawn to the line, “I walk with grief when it appears.” Acceptance is key; as Echart Tolle says, “Don’t look for peace. Don’t look look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
“Don’t look for peace. Don’t look look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance.”
This is only one
of the many pieces of wisdom I have gained
from Eckhart Tolle’s teachings,
and it has helped me to stay steadfast
to my purpose,
dear Carol Ann. ♥
Drea, My experience tells me that Acceptance and surrender are not the same. When you walk with grief, I would call that acceptance and definitely a bootcamp for surrender. I guess what I’m saying in Christian terms is acceptance brings the burden to the foot of the cross. Surrender agrees to hang on the cross without knowing the outcome.
Thank you Carol, this is new to me and something to contemplate. I like the practice of thinking about and feeling into these qualities.
1
L
Louise
3 weeks ago
In my life, I have been lucky in that I have avoided a lot of grief. I haven’t experienced very much loss in my 45 years. I have lost people close to me and experienced sadness due to that, but for me personally, I don’t equate death with grief. Some context: The strongest sense of grief I have experienced was in the pandemic on March 17, 2020 when the world shut down and I lost my very comfortable lifestyle, teaching English and travelling. I was pushed back home to reinvent myself, which I have done, but I can’t say that I have spent one day in the last six years being happy to do that. I reluctantly went back to school to become a nurse, which was mostly free. I am not a particularly good nurse and I’m not a team player, so this was not a good choice. Anyway the question is, what has helped me to connect with gratitude and the answer is the privilege that I have living in a country that has resources, which it shares with its citizens. I am grateful to accept $20,000 from the government to completely reinvent myself, even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I am reluctant to go back to work (which is a required stipulation to pay back the grant in labour hours) after graduating, but I am grateful for the opportunity that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
You have had a varied and interesting life,
dear Louise,
and seem to have an innate ability
to start all over again and again.
I call that resilience.
You do what you need to do
without question or qualms
and I admire that . . .
it helps to keep the floor clear
of the clutter or useless and unhelpful
resistance.
Thank you for letting us in
on a little bit of your life. ♥
This practice ensures that I am always connected to gratefulness. And like any practice, I am working this muscle regularly, so that I can have it available when I am in need. And the beautiful part is that, starting my day with gratitude, even on most days when it’s easy to be grateful, makes every day a little brighter and helps to even out and put me in a more positive state.
Memories have helped me connect with gratefulness in times of grief. They help me understand the intensity of the grief was forged from the depth of the love created.
Conversations about the situation, person, etc. Being with the grief to deeply embrace what or who I am grieving. For me, this eventually can bring peace, and then something I am grateful for so often comes up. 🍁
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Memories of good times, looking at photos and appreciating all the joy and special moments with the person that has passed.
It is Grace that brings me gratitude
when I am deeply bereaved.
She came to me unexpectedly
as I was grieving the loss of my first child,
and stopped the tears that were falling on my cheeks
in their tracks.
My heart was made full,
as I gazed out across the bay
on an Easter morning,
and I was filled with something so powerful
it near took my breath away.
It happened like a thunderclap in that moment,
and later,
as I returned to nurture my sorrow
and forgot about the moment,
I was bereft once again.
I wasn’t sure what had happened.
But years later,
after much Graceless anguish
it happened again,
and this time I recognized it,
and held it to my breast like a lifeline . . .
since then
I have never completely let go of ser.
Now she returns
even when the grief is not gnawing at my bones,
and is my companion
through both the joy and the pain of my life.
She keeps me alive,
grateful for what I had,
and in absolute awe
of the vastness of her power.
I don’t share this with many people,
as it is something beyond words,
but as real
as arms enclosing me in a tender embrace,
soothing whatever wounds me . . .
an anchor
in an often terrifying world. ♥
Yes, a bow and thanks to you for sharing, Sparrow.
Thank you both,
dears Drea and Deann . . .
I don’t think the grief goes away
it just becomes tempered
with love . . . 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing
Honestly my friends and myself. Reminding myself of all I have been through, that I use to dream of being in this place, and that this is a season in my life I am going through to strengthen me.
Learning to sit with the grief has helped me connect with gratefulness. When I really sit with it and allow it to flow through me, gratitude always makes its way in. Sometimes I need assistance in this, so talking with trusted loved ones, looking at photos, or reading can help. On that, I’d like to recommend a book that my sister recommended to me after my soul cat, BC, passed away at the start of 2023 – The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise by Martin Prechtel. It is about personal grief, worldly grief, and everything in between – and the importance of expressing it all. It offered comfort but also opened my eyes to how unexpressed grief affects the world.
The smell of rain on dust…. thank you, dear Sunnipatti.
Thank you for mentioning a book you found helpful 🌞
It sounds like a book I’d like to investigate,
dear SunnyPatti . . .
thank you
for mentioning it. ♥
Speaking with trusted friends might open to widen and finding back to gratefulness; sometimes, being in nature and observing the birds being there so naturally offering their singing; like these days, also physically feel coming back to balance and inner stability through doing some exercises with sensual awareness, just observing and feeling the body allows to re-center when out of balance due to deep grief, for which I am deeply grateful; by remembering Gratefulness and the many experiences and things in life which are enriching my life while not suppressing grief but honoring what has been given in abundance nevertheless. Thank you for this question. 🙏🙇♀️🙏
Exercise with awareness — I resonate with this. Being outside, moving with awareness, attention to the body has been so helpful to me.
When I awoke this morning and walk up the hall to open the living room curtains, I found myself smiling because the sun was shining so brightly that even the heavy lined drapes were aglow. After several days of clouds, seeing the sunlight nurtured gratefulness for the ever faithful morning sun. I knew it had always been shining but the clouds had hidden its view of me and me of it. I think gratefulness is how I connect with grief today. The clouds of life do not own me though they still try but I know the sun is always there and I am grateful.
Enjoy your sunny Saturday, Carol.
The relief that comes after a deep, soulful cry.
♥
Connections! It can be in many forms… listing, remembering,, giving, being in nature, praying, reading, listening, and doing something creative.
Doing something creative as connection–yes.
If I can allow grief to surge through me, feel it fully, and be patient as it moves, a sense of gratefulness and joy will inevitably follow. Patience is key. Grief operates on its own schedule and timeline. And honestly, it is more powerful than I am. I walk with grief when it appears.
Thank you, dear Drea. Not easy, but probably true.
Drea, I am drawn to the line, “I walk with grief when it appears.” Acceptance is key; as Echart Tolle says, “Don’t look for peace. Don’t look look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
“Don’t look for peace. Don’t look look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance.”
This is only one
of the many pieces of wisdom I have gained
from Eckhart Tolle’s teachings,
and it has helped me to stay steadfast
to my purpose,
dear Carol Ann. ♥
That is an excellent quote, thank you Carol. I feel like I’m in surrender bootcamp (if that’s not a contradiction in terms).
Drea, My experience tells me that Acceptance and surrender are not the same. When you walk with grief, I would call that acceptance and definitely a bootcamp for surrender. I guess what I’m saying in Christian terms is acceptance brings the burden to the foot of the cross. Surrender agrees to hang on the cross without knowing the outcome.
Thank you Carol, this is new to me and something to contemplate. I like the practice of thinking about and feeling into these qualities.
In my life, I have been lucky in that I have avoided a lot of grief. I haven’t experienced very much loss in my 45 years. I have lost people close to me and experienced sadness due to that, but for me personally, I don’t equate death with grief. Some context: The strongest sense of grief I have experienced was in the pandemic on March 17, 2020 when the world shut down and I lost my very comfortable lifestyle, teaching English and travelling. I was pushed back home to reinvent myself, which I have done, but I can’t say that I have spent one day in the last six years being happy to do that. I reluctantly went back to school to become a nurse, which was mostly free. I am not a particularly good nurse and I’m not a team player, so this was not a good choice. Anyway the question is, what has helped me to connect with gratitude and the answer is the privilege that I have living in a country that has resources, which it shares with its citizens. I am grateful to accept $20,000 from the government to completely reinvent myself, even if it’s something I don’t want to do. I am reluctant to go back to work (which is a required stipulation to pay back the grant in labour hours) after graduating, but I am grateful for the opportunity that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
You have had a varied and interesting life,
dear Louise,
and seem to have an innate ability
to start all over again and again.
I call that resilience.
You do what you need to do
without question or qualms
and I admire that . . .
it helps to keep the floor clear
of the clutter or useless and unhelpful
resistance.
Thank you for letting us in
on a little bit of your life. ♥
Memories, friendships, routines, fresh air, and many times it is something surprising or unexpected. Gratitude and grief walk hand in hand.
Amen ♥
Amen
This practice ensures that I am always connected to gratefulness. And like any practice, I am working this muscle regularly, so that I can have it available when I am in need. And the beautiful part is that, starting my day with gratitude, even on most days when it’s easy to be grateful, makes every day a little brighter and helps to even out and put me in a more positive state.
Memories have helped me connect with gratefulness in times of grief. They help me understand the intensity of the grief was forged from the depth of the love created.
” the intensity of the grief was forged from the depth of the love created.” — so true, Deann.
Ditto
My side projects help me connect to gratefulness in times of grief, because it gives me something to focus on.
Conversations about the situation, person, etc. Being with the grief to deeply embrace what or who I am grieving. For me, this eventually can bring peace, and then something I am grateful for so often comes up. 🍁