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Overwhelmed with work, I was able to strive to reach my best this week. I often feel super disadvantaged with my ADHD, and my lack of schedule regulation. Things that I overcame with courage this week were being diligent in my studies, buying something expensive that I have wanted for a really long time, but worried about it costing me. I know it was the right choice but it felt so scary to make that big purchase.
I was able to confront my own emotions, figure out what was scaring me and why it came about frequently. I was able to stand up to my doctor for misdiagnosing me with a mood disorder when my biological chemistry and medications objectively pointed otherwise.
I can’t get myself to be courageous about trying to either go to my physical therapy sessions or cancel them. I have been cowardly with getting up as early as I can and going to the gym. I have been cowardly with taking my medications on time. I have been less than courageous when it comes to my self-control and preservation. I always let myself down and I really want to hear some advice for that and not let myself down in the future.
Anyone have anything that helps them?
Voluntarily exposing myself to cold water. There’s that moment of will I or won’t I; that moment when it could go either way but then you go for it.
That brings back happy memories of jumping into lakes and oceans. 🙂
I think when I decided to be there for people in my life. To be reliable, open, stable – a rock. To put self aside for others, no matter what. It can be lonely and painful at times, but then I remind myself, it is not about me.
I don’t have such “big stories” as those of you I’ve just been reading. I thought about when I left my job a while back but really, it was so stressful and I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown that it didn’t take any courage, it just kind of happened! But maybe the courage came in living with no job, no money, and a lot of recovering to do.
I think for me, I need lots of little bits of courage. For example, today, after my husband’s much awaited hair cut, we visited one of his friends for tea and cake in the garden to admire what they have done there. I didn’t know him and, to be honest, I’m not ever very good at social events! I’ve been happy in lockdown with no pressure to socialise, so it took courage to go out and try to enjoy it. I did, of course – it’s never as bad as in my mind beforehand! And as we only stayed an hour, I didn’t run out of courage!
Two years ago today I left a life I was not happy with and took a one way flight to the west coast. I had lived in the northeastern US for all of my life and to do that big of a move on my own took courage. After I landed I took an Uber to my new apartment & when I finally sat down with only my two suitcases beside me (my furniture & belongings had not yet arrived) – I burst into tears- I’m not sure if they were happy tears or tears of “omg what have I done???” — and for sure life isn’t perfect, but I love living here- and for much of my life that wasn’t the case. So today I celebrate having the courage to take a chance and open myself up to new adventures.
Today, and each day going forward I would like to have the courage to let things go, to go with the flow, to not feel like I need to hold onto the reins of life so tightly. To not give in to my urge to grasp at life and rather live with the peace and trust knowing things will happen around me.
The courage to accept that a man I feel strongly about does not feel the same way about me. It took me a long time.
I am so sorry. I know about that kind of disappointment. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you, Linda.
Recently I jumped the gun and asked someone to be my spiritual life coach. I already have a spiritual director that I am working with on a monthly basis. I felt awkward after talking for a while with my potential life coach after learning her criticism of a form of prayer that I practice. I discussed it with my spiritual director to let her know what and how I was thinking and what I now have to do to undo what I said I would do. I was very open with her. She encouraged me that I had discernment and reminded me that I am seeking God’s will and we had a great talk about resistance, trusting my conscious and being in harmony with God. She said that it was being attentive. I since contacted the potential life coach and gracefully bowed out. In the past I would beat myself for being so impulsive. So trusting and being open and taking a change of direction is what I consider courage by risking the fear of being wrong and people pleasing. That is big for me. I looked at the series of questions that I would have to answer if I were to be guided under the direction of the said coach. It was goal oriented not what I am looking for. I’m glad I see the difference. For me it’s not about ambition. It’s about living in the moment and attuning to what’s prompted by the spirit within. There is no rush. I have nothing to achieve. It’s about being not doing. I see that more clearly now.
Toni – what a nice story – I would indeed hate to have a life coach who didn’t like a prayer form that worked for me. ‘Criticism’ is also not what I would want from a life coach. Congrats on taking care of yourself, both in regard to leaving the life coach and in regard to not criticizing yourself. I was pained by my doctor’s criticism of something I do, but criticism is more appropriate in a doctor, and I’ll just never mention this behavior to her again. 😏😒😟
I’ve always struggled with the word courage. Perhaps, because in childhood the message I got made me question my worth. It made it hard for me to understand the difference between healthy fear and psychological fear. I failed to grasp that healthy fear is my friend. It is a signal that there is real danger. I failed to understand that in most cases my fears were psychological and psychological fear is my foe. It is usually a fear of failure. It tells me the only way to be in control is to avoid risk. It whispers, “You can’t fail if you never risk.” And so, I think it is safe to say that my first reaction to most situations that involve risk is anxiety. A need for total control is always my first reaction. I’ve learned to stop and challenge it. I’ve learned that there is a difference between being “out of control” and “losing control to my spirit.” I’ve learned that my “intention” will determine my “attention.” The roots of the word courage speak of a brave heart. I think we find courage when can picture ourselves challenging what our head is telling us with the loving energy emanating from our hearts. My 12 step sponsor used to put it this way: “The opposite of fear is not courage. It is love.” Courage is the cultivation of a brave and loving heart. It sees responsibility as the “ability to respond.” It understands that to act is different than to react. It knows that when I can own my thoughts and feelings, they will not own me. I’ve learned that for me, the biggest battle is always the battle within. It is often a daily battle.
Thank you, Carol, for your thoughtful answer –
My husband and I moved away from our children and grandchildren, 1100 miles south to Central Florida. We did it for my husband’s physical health and to get away from the dreary Michigan weather. (Michigan averages just 67 days of sunshine a year) My mental health has improved dramatically since we’ve moved, despite 2020.
The courage part came from being willing to start again in our older years, to move away from our dear friends and familiar places and most grievously move away from our grandchildren and their parents. It has been challenging but SO gratifying. We have weekly Beach Days when we go to the shore and just relax on the sand and listen to the surf and sea birds, the sun shines practically EVERY day here!! New friends, and new experiences have kept us busy. This was definitely the right decision.
DeVonna, I’m so glad it’s working out so beautifully! I’ll hold down the fort here in my beloved Michigan🙂
Having spent my formative years in Michigan, I understand about the withdrawal effects from having no sun. I now live in southern CA.
I moved to Florida back in 2008. It was a hard decision but the right one. Love it here, so much to do and see.
Getting the Covid vaccine (J&J) required courage. Originally I had no intention of getting it- I’ve never gotten the flu vaccines before so I was very hesitant with getting an unapproved FDA one. That being said, knowing I will be traveling in May and seeing the newer strains coming out I went with science and thought just go get it. Of course 3 days later all the crap with the J&J one came out. ugh.
Getting the vaccine took a bit of courage for me too – first shot of any kind that I’ve gotten in over 20 yrs.
Same! I haven’t had a vaccine in at least 20 years. I got my 1st dose of Moderna (after having 2 J&J appts cancelled as the recall started) the other day, and I found myself in an anxious state. I held myself up while I was in the auditorium (and thank God for the nurse administering my shot with with her Bugs Bunny bandaids), but I cried when I told my husband about the experience. It’s still hard to believe we’re living in a pandemic, despite a year + having gone by already, and I honestly never thought I’d get any kind of vaccine again in this life. It’s for the good of humanity though, and I am already working on keeping others’ 2nd shot experiences out of my body when I go for mine in a few weeks!
The odds are, Michele, that you will be fine with the J&J. I was reluctant to get one of these quite new vaccines, and my kids were calling me an anti-vaxxer. Happily, I read an article by a woman who had terrible recurring covid after-effects, and I decided side effects would be tolerable.
Wishing you immunity and freedom from worry –
I’ve had to admit to myself that I have been using alcohol (again) to numb my fears about the decision to sell everything and move now that it’s actually happening. I’m excited about the new adventure but it’s hard to hold onto the knowing that it will be all be ok.
Dear Clare, ‘all will be well and all will be well and…’ I can’t remember who said that. Warm wishes to you as you go through this big change.
Cool – it’s Julian of Norwich – I like her – http://www.stpaulsbellingham.org/lindsay-rosshunt/all-shall-be-well-reflections-on-julian-of-norwich
I quit my job~a job that has brought me enormous joy & deep meaningful exchanges. I met people who have altered my life in huge ways & I’ll forever be thankful. I’ve been connected to this work for nearly 30 years & it took courage to decide to “let go” of the title. God is calling me to shed many things & open myself to hear what’s next.
Best of luck to you on your new endeavors:)
Thank You, Michele
Learning to accept me and who I am and to learning to deal things that I want to do. I am by nature a people pleaser and tend to put other’s interests over mine. I am afraid that if I don’t look after them then I will not be liked or loved. This is due to my upbringing and my abandonment feelings. This has been difficult at times and can be a struggle but I am taking inner courage to move forward, stop the self pity and put more of the emphasis on loving me and who I am.
Ah, yes, people-pleasing. It does limit one, doesn’t it? Mine is/was due to my upbringing – and the pain of experiencing my mother’s anger, or something of that sort. It’s too long ago for me to remember, but that fits with what I remember from the many years that I do remember. Warm wishes to you, Devy –
I’ve found the strength and courage from deep within to persevere and prevail through the challenges, loss and changes in my life due to the pandemic.
Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday. I miss my husband and I am not very much in the mood for celebrating. On birthdays and holydays the pain of the loss is very intens. I had birthday cake and ( because of corona) only a few friends. It was a very challenging day. At the end of the day I was satisfied. The day that I was born, entered this word, will always be an important day. A good reason for celebration.
Christine: I am so inspired by your bravery and focus on celebrating you on your birthday. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago and I understand how grief can take hold of you. Kudos for honoring yourself!
Thank you, Debra 💞
You are all so sweet 😊
Happy belated birthday Christine. I’m sure it brought joy to you and your friends who love and support you. I’m glad you got to celebrate your birthday.
Thank you. Toni 💞
Happy belated birthday Christine:)
Thank you Michele 💖
You’re my hero, Christine. And happy belated birthday!
Dear Holly in Ohio – Here you are! I’ve been excited to share with you – I found my reading glasses yesterday, after about a week, and sorting through a big waste basket. My problem is that I’ll leave glasses in so many different places. These were camouflaged in the black coffee-cup tray of the dog stroller. I occasionally put my guinea pig in it so she can hang out with me in my sewing room.
Yay on the reading glasses! 🙂
Thank you Holly 💖
Said something I needed to say to my boss. It was needed to clear the air after some weird energy from misinformation. I waited days and days to tell him what I wanted to, but once I got it out, it felt really good! And the energy between us and in our department as a whole has improved.
That’s ‘huge’, sunnypatti – warm congrats – 🎉 🎊 🎈
I believe that each day requires a special kind of courage in my life. I live with anticipatory grief with the gradual loss of my brother and sister-in-law. It takes courage to watch the slow decline of my beloved husband in his uncertain health issues. Courage comes from a place of deep conviction that “it is what it is” in life but I can handle it with God’s hand and grace. Each day will have its joy and its adversity- take courage, don’t give your power over to what is unknown; keep going.
Anytime I am vulnerable there is a small degree of courage, Certainly nothing heroic. I have not been in any situations of late requiring that level of tenacity. I am very fortunate, and typically stay in my lane as it were. Saying that, I am a lifelong risk taker, and descended from a long line of them. Cliff jumpers. People in my life will comment on how brave (could be code for stupid) something or other was that I had done which, to me, was simply the right course (moving cities to take a new job in a new career, selling everything and moving to a third world country). I actually think from a certain perspective courage is faith in action. But, again, I don’t fight wildfires, or work in Afghanistan as a contract worker (or female professional!).
I have been coping and living with serious back pain for the last twelve years, requiring me to take all kinds of various and strong prescribed medications. Still, following surgeries, a spinal cord stimulator implant, and after working with a host of holistic and homeopathic practitioners, the pain not only continues but is worsening. I am in the early stages of working with my pain management docs of exploring an entirely different approach and regiment of treatments. I welcome prayers and some luck!
Showing up is most courageous when living with chronic pain. I applaud your courage, and pray for the new approach and treatments. May you know relief in the near future. Blessings,
I will pray , Kevin, with all my heart
Prayers, Kevin, and luck, and a gentle hug 🤗 🫂 –
My husband has lived with chronic back and shoulder pain for a long time. He has found ways to cope, as you have, but it does wear a person down. He is a loner by nature and the pain has forced him to go even further inside. I grieve for all the things we used to do together, as he does, like hike and travel. I wish you the best, Kevin.
I pray for your healing and I hope the new approach you are trying gives you long lasting relief.
Healing prayers and prayers for continued strength to you:)
I add my prayers with all the others…and a hug!
Kevin, living with chronic pain can alter personalities. The fact that you show up here each day & contribute encouraging, sensitive thoughts & feelings are incredible acts of courage. You inspire us & I thank you. Lifting up prayers of healing & comfort for you.
Thank you, Christine. (I leave for the pain clinic in three hours for injections, which may seem weird, but I’m looking forward to, for some relief! Thanks again.
Lifting you in prayer, Kevin.
Praying for the best outcome, Kevin.
I pray you find relief and healing Kevin.
Keeping you in prayer, Kevin
I pray that you will be well dear Kevin 🙏
Thoughts and prayers to you..
Prayers, good luck, and lots of loving light and energy to you, Kevin.
May you be healed from your pain in the back, dear Kevin. My prayers are with you.
Keeping you in my prayers, Kevin.
You have my prayers brother.
Yesterday, I went on a boat with some of my friends, while it was quite windy and the boat was quite small compared to the waves. I was wondering if I could manage to be there without getting seasick, and fortunately, nothing like that happened. Instead, it was a beautiful and exciting trip all together after we all had adapted to the circumstances. Feeling vulnerable and courage seems to be the both sides of a coin sometimes. Grateful for this experience!
Hooray, Ose – 🎉 🎊
Facing down distress producing bullying beaurocrats. After 10 months of struggling with faceless government officials, in Australia due to COVID, over the phone or on the internet brought on depression and anxiety attacks. I decided to not give them any more undeserved power. Easier said than done, but I wanted out of the victim seat and I determined to have honesty, integrity, and kindness win. I have fought hard especially when feeling broken and close to giving up, and it is slowly paying off. I am finally getting some kinder, understanding helpers. I am more at peace with my place in the struggle. I am brave even when it appears otherwise. Grateful!
Good for you, Dusty Su! That in itself is worthy of celebration! Wishing you continued good luck, too!
Thank you, and yes, that is a lovely thought, “Worthy of Celebration” and that is what I will do. Thank you again…
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