I feel that I am being called to a deeper understanding of opening to God and learning to pray. what it means to let God hear me, let God know that I want him to hear me, let God hear my intentions and my desires. This is a new dimension of connecting that I have not been led to before. This is also learning to let go, learning to trust, to feel, hear, to see, listen, to be quiet and still..
What comes to mind for me is a dear friend of my daughter’s who has a daughter my grandson’s age. She is 14 years old but has changed her name (to a male name) and wants to be addressed as a male. I am called to understand more and be supportive and just listen as she talks about this life challenge.
Gratefulness allows me to fear less. In the same time, facing the theme of Death, what will be left? Love only, seems to be the only possible reply.. To understand that things, themes, everything is going to die while in the same time, Buddhists would never say “die” as this does not exist, (and i am sure this is true), but “be transformed”. To turn to His Love.
I’m not sure I’m feeling called for the topic that first came to mind for me on this, to be honest.
I can think rationally and intellectually about how I might be able to try to understand more and find common ground with people who hold beliefs antithetical to my principles and act on their beliefs. That would require me to fear less about those kinds of conversations and the possible consequences–fundamentally it would require me not to fear the people themselves and I find some of them truly, deeply terrifying.
It would also require me to seek those people out and that isn’t really something I’m prepared to do right now, despite knowing that we can’t change where we’re heading unless we venture into those difficult conversations.
As I write this, I can also remember that they’re thinking, acting, and responding out of their own fears. This isn’t a big, amorphous “they”. It’s individuals with lives and feelings. They may be displacing their anger onto “easy” targets they’ve been taught to view as the other, and not recognize the deep institutional roots of their problems, especially the economic scarcity.
I don’t have to talk with the scariest of them. I can listen for opportunities to ask with genuine curiosity why someone holds a particular belief and share that my experiences are different.
There’s another way I can approach this question. I took a training on how to prepare to be an ally when ICE comes for your neighbors. I didn’t yet take the next step of signing up to be on call or to get notices. I can seek to understand more about what’s involved and how I could provide some level of support, and think through what makes me afraid in these circumstances. This is prompting me to respond to another training opportunity I recently learned of.
I hear you, Barb.
I find so much behavior of those in charge to be against everything I believe in.
My niece and nephews were big supporters of the current administration.
These divisions have already hurt our relationships.
I don’t even want to discuss it with them.
It’s just too painful.
As for training to be an ally when ICE comes for your neighbors,
that’s huge!
Scary, but so important.
I’m not sure about the “where” in this question, but I know that when I surrender (usually that means surrendering the fear, shame, embarrassment, etc…) I get closer to understanding.
It might seem antithetical, but stillness, peace, and calm. I mistakenly believe that I thrive in chaos, however, I am just beginning to understand that this is a trauma response. Calmness frightens me, and I am constantly looking for things to fill the space. I hope that understanding why I fear peace will help me find my peace.
Megmonarch, I’ve had similar experiences. I have found it difficult but transformative to continue to the inner work. Sending love and support to you on your journey.
In answer to this question as it is written,
the more I try to understand my husband, his history and hardships,
and how this has formed his attitudes, the more I can see him with love,
and the less I fear having my feelings hurt, by some of his attitudes.
He often misunderstands me based on his view of the world,
much of which was formed in his childhood
and has nothing to do with me, personally.
The more I try to understand him, the more I can love him.
This has been so true for me as well,
dear Mary . . .
when I learned that it wasn’t personal,
it freed me to love my husband more.
Amazing
how such a ‘small’ thing
can make such a gigantic difference. ♥
I am not sure how to answer this question.
I will have to ponder this one as the day unfolds.
Happy Thursday to All…stay cool. It is hot & humid in my neighborhood. 🥵
🕊️🩷
Thank you for this question, but at this stage in my life,
The more helpful question for me is,
where do I feel called to try something new and to fear less.
Understanding will begin after trying something new.
I could be more experimental with my art.
That would open up so much for me.
Go for it, Mary.
I could switch things up with my schedule.
My schedule is helpful up to a point, but I do let it limit me.
I do need a schedule, but I could be more fluid with it.
I would do well to follow my own advice of leading with curiosity.
Understanding will follow.
May I be open to trying new things today.
I am reminded of Joseph Campbell’s suggestion to follow your bliss.
So today may I be open and curious, noticing possibilities,
that spark joy,
starting with tiny ones like stopping to admire a flower,
or watching that flock of birds, feeding on my lawn.
🌷🌷🌷
My Ngoc, this question gets us to step out of our comfort zones. It feels scary at first. Once we get past that, it feels great. Butterflies find their way back home eventually.
I have felt drawn to this,
dear Yram,
for my whole life,
and am passionate about end of life understanding and quality.
One of the best books about navigating this transition
is ‘Graceful Passages…A Companion for Living and Dying’.
Thank you for your post. ♥
When my siblings and I were dealing with my mom’s dementia and health issues for both parents, I got a copy of Mary Pipher’s book Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders for each of us. I think all of us found some comfort or insight in it; I know I did.
Yram, the day before my friend passed (a week ago), a hospice social worker gave us “Gone From My Sight” by Barbara Karnes. It was excellent, short, and so helpful. Also, we were flustered, because we really could have used the information months ago. Her entire series looks really good: https://bkbooks.com/.
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Well, for me it is not to understand more per se, but to surrender and trust more that all will be well. And in doing so, any fear will subside.
I feel that I am being called to a deeper understanding of opening to God and learning to pray. what it means to let God hear me, let God know that I want him to hear me, let God hear my intentions and my desires. This is a new dimension of connecting that I have not been led to before. This is also learning to let go, learning to trust, to feel, hear, to see, listen, to be quiet and still..
What comes to mind for me is a dear friend of my daughter’s who has a daughter my grandson’s age. She is 14 years old but has changed her name (to a male name) and wants to be addressed as a male. I am called to understand more and be supportive and just listen as she talks about this life challenge.
Helplessness,
being incapacitated and vulnerable . . .
dementia. . .
I need to think more on this.
That’s a pretty good start.
You say it how it is, Sparrow.
I admire that about you.
You named three big ones.
It’s hard not to fear these.
Gratefulness allows me to fear less. In the same time, facing the theme of Death, what will be left? Love only, seems to be the only possible reply.. To understand that things, themes, everything is going to die while in the same time, Buddhists would never say “die” as this does not exist, (and i am sure this is true), but “be transformed”. To turn to His Love.
I’m not sure I’m feeling called for the topic that first came to mind for me on this, to be honest.
I can think rationally and intellectually about how I might be able to try to understand more and find common ground with people who hold beliefs antithetical to my principles and act on their beliefs. That would require me to fear less about those kinds of conversations and the possible consequences–fundamentally it would require me not to fear the people themselves and I find some of them truly, deeply terrifying.
It would also require me to seek those people out and that isn’t really something I’m prepared to do right now, despite knowing that we can’t change where we’re heading unless we venture into those difficult conversations.
As I write this, I can also remember that they’re thinking, acting, and responding out of their own fears. This isn’t a big, amorphous “they”. It’s individuals with lives and feelings. They may be displacing their anger onto “easy” targets they’ve been taught to view as the other, and not recognize the deep institutional roots of their problems, especially the economic scarcity.
I don’t have to talk with the scariest of them. I can listen for opportunities to ask with genuine curiosity why someone holds a particular belief and share that my experiences are different.
There’s another way I can approach this question. I took a training on how to prepare to be an ally when ICE comes for your neighbors. I didn’t yet take the next step of signing up to be on call or to get notices. I can seek to understand more about what’s involved and how I could provide some level of support, and think through what makes me afraid in these circumstances. This is prompting me to respond to another training opportunity I recently learned of.
Thank you for sharing, Barb. It is very helpful to me.
“Othering” never is good. Dulls the inner intelligence when needed for a valid fear. Thank you Barb.
I hear you, Barb.
I find so much behavior of those in charge to be against everything I believe in.
My niece and nephews were big supporters of the current administration.
These divisions have already hurt our relationships.
I don’t even want to discuss it with them.
It’s just too painful.
As for training to be an ally when ICE comes for your neighbors,
that’s huge!
Scary, but so important.
I am opening up my life to others. Lots of fear. If I could bring understanding to connection with others it would help.
I’m not sure about the “where” in this question, but I know that when I surrender (usually that means surrendering the fear, shame, embarrassment, etc…) I get closer to understanding.
I think you’ve put your finger onto something,
dear Charlie . . . ♥
It might seem antithetical, but stillness, peace, and calm. I mistakenly believe that I thrive in chaos, however, I am just beginning to understand that this is a trauma response. Calmness frightens me, and I am constantly looking for things to fill the space. I hope that understanding why I fear peace will help me find my peace.
Megmonarch, I’ve had similar experiences. I have found it difficult but transformative to continue to the inner work. Sending love and support to you on your journey.
In answer to this question as it is written,
the more I try to understand my husband, his history and hardships,
and how this has formed his attitudes, the more I can see him with love,
and the less I fear having my feelings hurt, by some of his attitudes.
He often misunderstands me based on his view of the world,
much of which was formed in his childhood
and has nothing to do with me, personally.
The more I try to understand him, the more I can love him.
Your empathy and compassion in looking at how he sees the world and taking that into consideration shines as a beautiful result of your love.
This has been so true for me as well,
dear Mary . . .
when I learned that it wasn’t personal,
it freed me to love my husband more.
Amazing
how such a ‘small’ thing
can make such a gigantic difference. ♥
It makes all the difference. ♥️
This feels really helpful for me too, Mary. Thank you for sharing this.
It has helped me so much, Barb.
Realizing it’s really not about me
It’s about his pain.
That’s a much easier pill to swallow.
I am not sure how to answer this question.
I will have to ponder this one as the day unfolds.
Happy Thursday to All…stay cool. It is hot & humid in my neighborhood. 🥵
🕊️🩷
How to apply my strengths and gifts to the world in a new way and new career.
I am interested in this too, Drea!
Not the career part, but in the way of helping the world.
Thank you for this question, but at this stage in my life,
The more helpful question for me is,
where do I feel called to try something new and to fear less.
Understanding will begin after trying something new.
I could be more experimental with my art.
That would open up so much for me.
Go for it, Mary.
I could switch things up with my schedule.
My schedule is helpful up to a point, but I do let it limit me.
I do need a schedule, but I could be more fluid with it.
I would do well to follow my own advice of leading with curiosity.
Understanding will follow.
May I be open to trying new things today.
I am reminded of Joseph Campbell’s suggestion to follow your bliss.
So today may I be open and curious, noticing possibilities,
that spark joy,
starting with tiny ones like stopping to admire a flower,
or watching that flock of birds, feeding on my lawn.
🌷🌷🌷
One of the best things on my schedule is tomorrow. If I finish everything today, what will I do tomorrow? Thank you Mary.
So true, Joseph!😆😸
Go for it,
dear Mary . . . 🙂
I will.
I am already starting to.
Wishing you much curiosity and experimental art, Mary!
Thank you, Drea!
It’s all there, waiting for me.
🥰🥰🥰
Thank you so much for today’s question. It helped me reflect on the areas where I feel the most fear. May you all experience some peace and joy today.
My Ngoc, this question gets us to step out of our comfort zones. It feels scary at first. Once we get past that, it feels great. Butterflies find their way back home eventually.
I feel called to understand more the aging process and end of life issues.
I have felt drawn to this,
dear Yram,
for my whole life,
and am passionate about end of life understanding and quality.
One of the best books about navigating this transition
is ‘Graceful Passages…A Companion for Living and Dying’.
Thank you for your post. ♥
When my siblings and I were dealing with my mom’s dementia and health issues for both parents, I got a copy of Mary Pipher’s book Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders for each of us. I think all of us found some comfort or insight in it; I know I did.
Yram, the day before my friend passed (a week ago), a hospice social worker gave us “Gone From My Sight” by Barbara Karnes. It was excellent, short, and so helpful. Also, we were flustered, because we really could have used the information months ago. Her entire series looks really good: https://bkbooks.com/.
I think everyone needs help with issues surrounding death.
Thank you, Drea!
I am interested in looking into these books