Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment.

  1. Robin Ann

    My Grateful journey lately is being more spiritual. I do have a fear of spending way too much money trying to help my daughter stay sober (as I approach retirement age) but lately I am trusting in God that he will show me the way and have my back. So far I have been blessed countless times. Amen

    4 months ago
    1. Joseph McCann

      Loving kindness to you and your daughter Robin Ann.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        almost 4 mos sober now Joseph : )

        4 months ago
  2. Don Jones

    As best as I can tell, it started when I was about four years old. I recall sitting on the footpath outside the front of my home, waiting for a bus to take me to kindergarten for the first time. I felt alone and frightened. Those feelings have guided and influenced too many of decisions over my life. After I saw it for what it was, fear evaporated.

    4 months ago
  3. C
    Christopher Le Flore

    Because of childhood trauma and severe physical trauma and near death experience at 18 years old, as well as my naturally skeptical and fearful personality, fear has been something I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand and overcome. I’ve accepted that I will never not be fearful, it’s just part of how I function. I’ve learned to have courage regardless, and step into the fear and accept it, it still push forward in spite of it. I fail daily but continue trying to recognize when fear is influencing my decision making and actions.

    Here’s a poem I wrote about fear of death specifically, which has been constantly present, and I’ve ruminated on a lot before learning how to better manage my PTSD.

    Fear of death

    For a long time in my life
    I was fearful of my death
    Of what it would mean to lose it all
    And take one last rattled breath

    I thought that I was selfish
    That perhaps I wasn’t true
    But recently I’ve realized
    My fear of death is because of you

    I’m not worried of things I might miss
    Guitars, and cars, our home
    Not worried that I won’t get another kiss
    Or a night in our bed alone

    Not that I’ll never get to see
    The sunrise on the hills
    Or that I’ll face eternity
    Forever peaceful, at rest, and still

    Somehow I’ve finally realized
    It really was never about me
    The only fear of death I have
    Is that I won’t get to see
    The man and woman you’ll become
    The vibrant life you’ll surely lead
    The sound of grandchildren’s rambunctious fun
    On the front grass fresh and green

    It’s not about me, It never was
    Since the day that you were born
    It’s about being there, When you’re in despair
    In a corner and want to run

    I’d like to be here for a good long while
    To walk beside you on your path
    But I know someday I’ll be asked to let go
    And my body will be turned to ash

    And I hope and pray every day
    That when that moment comes
    I’ll still at least get to see
    You living and having fun

    That despite my body six feet under
    In that damp and putrid hole
    I’ll still get to see you make me proud
    From the viewpoint of my soul

    4 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      Your poem is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I had a huge fear of death when my Mother died over 20 years ago and still get triggered about friends and families deaths . However this year at work we had grieving counselling and know we all grieve differently and that is ok.

      4 months ago
  4. Charlie T

    I don’t know why I surrendered and
    started trying to understand. I’ve always
    known that fear was my biggest motivator.
    At the time, I thought it might be the
    only choice that I could make.
    At this point, The desire to live a more
    calm and present life, I guess would be
    the biggest motivator.
    Digging deep into my past and trying
    to understand my behavior and emotions
    has led me on this journey.

    4 months ago
  5. sunnypatti

    My business. It has totally taken our lives (me and my husband), and we have struggled to make the restaurant work in our country community. We have catered for several years with a 5-star reputation, but these people out here have been practically impossible to please and the growth in the area isn’t happening fast enough for us to get the foot traffic we need. We have decided to close the doors to the public and go back to just catering, which is scary but feels right in both of our guts. We have tried to understand these people out here, but we have decided to instead just focus on fearing less and going with what our gut tells us. We understand that the community we are in just wants cheap diner food, and since that’s not what we provide, we will face our fears and trust that we are making the right decision. And hopefully we can both start sleeping thru the nights better, along with all of the other benefits of not having to run a slow restaurant.

    4 months ago
    1. Nannette

      SunnyPatti; From your postings on this site; I know that you and your husband have worked very hard to make this business work. You gave it your best!! You tried and that is what is important…now rest with your feelings – you made the BEST decision for you and your husband. Life can become “normal” again…you can rest and do what you do best and have people appreciate your work. My heart goes out to you both as I know this had to be a hard decision…but a new journey awaits. Blessings!!

      4 months ago
    2. Barb C

      A tough decision, I’m sure. It took courage to open, it took courage to be clear about whether it was working the way you wanted and needed. Congratulations on deciding and moving forward.

      4 months ago
    3. Yram

      My the path ahead be clearer with each day.

      4 months ago
    4. Robin Ann

      It sounds like you have both thought this through very carefully and sometimes you just need to trust your gut! Best of luck with your catering business!!! Hopefully it will be less stressful and give you more time to enjoy other things : )

      4 months ago
    5. pkr

      Sunnypatti, I wish you & your husband much success in your expanded catering business. I am happy you listened to your gut & are doing what is best for You. Good Luck. Cheers & Love…🥂❤️

      4 months ago
    6. Don Jones

      I don’t know about your community, but here in Australia, there seems to be an atmosphere that rudeness is OK and self-centeredness is some sort of right. I know that is a sweeping generalization, but the toll on customer service roles is apparent and awful. My encouragement to you both is to focus on your passion, which clearly brings you joy.

      4 months ago
    7. Charlie T

      I’m sorry to hear this, but I am
      glad you have made a decision and
      are willing to make the change.
      It’s such a hard business, even in
      the best of situations. I hope you
      can get a breather and take stock.

      4 months ago
  6. Toni

    I am being called to understand the IFS work (Internal Family Systems). As a member of ACA (adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families) I have come across the terms inner family and reparenting. At first it was so foreign to me and now I am beginning to understand what this new language is about. Since I have suffered with depression for years along with substance use and abuse I often wondered where this disfunction originated and what it can teach me about myself, my family and the world around me. Since recovery has been something I have become familiar with as far as attendance at meetings and the 12 steps approach to recovery, I want to move on with my life and live in the moment as I look at the past and do the work involved in the reflections of the 4th step that will be the next step on my journey to get me out of stuck patterns I have not been able to break free of. I want to feel more joy and less fear and resistance and get into the spontaneous nature of life and not be so afraid and anxious to try new ways of living. I am being called to acceptance and being at peace with my past so I can move on and get on with living. Life is short and I don’t want to keep hiding behind fear when I am being offered a way out. I want to become empowered to take the risk and live with more freedom and ease.

    4 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      I hope that practicing grateful living will help, it has helped me a great deal. My daughter is an addict and life became very overwhelming for me. I have been here for a year now and I thank God I found this site.

      4 months ago
  7. Nannette

    Each day I am understaning myself a bit more…searching my soul. What makes me tick…? What causes me to make some of the decisions that I make? I don’t need to understand the world…I have tried- and we continue in the same vein…wars, poverty, abuse. In the past I would read the newspapers daily- catch up on the lates atrocities. Now…I read Grateful Living and think of the good things. I know and I continue to feel and fear all the awful things that people do to one another. My empathy sometimes leaves me exhausted. So now in the winter of my life…I am not fearing …just trying to enjoy each day on this beautiful earth. The people here help me see all the goodness there is. We each may have problems and sorrows but we also have hope and share our love with this community.

    4 months ago
  8. Barb C

    I’ve mentioned in responses to previous questions that learning about my privilege has shifted how I view people and systems. My learning continues and I would say it not only leads me to fear less, but to care more and do more. Today’s quotation fits this question perfectly. Everyone has a story and if I understand that and don’t impose assumption or judgment, I will learn and will expand my mind and heart.

    4 months ago
  9. Yram

    Right now I am called to learn more about the physical/mental challenges my husband is encountering. But I also think I want to learn a boundary in that search so I don’t fear more.

    4 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      Yes, one needs to take of of themselves first before they should take care of others. It isn’t always easy to grasp but necessary.

      4 months ago
  10. Michele

    The ongoing wars with Ukraine and Russia and Israel, Palestine, Hamas

    4 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      so true, so difficult

      4 months ago
  11. Laura

    I don’t feel a need to understand as much as I used to. Nowadays I feel a stronger pull to accept and go with the flow. Maybe understanding comes, maybe it doesn’t, but I’ve moved forward and experienced regardless.

    4 months ago
  12. Joseph McCann

    The aging process. I am trying to stay in the present with the process that none of us escapes if we are gifted enough time on the planet. I need not future trip and/or fear that if I live long enough, I will simply be unable to take care of our small forage farm. My father is 91 and my step-mother is 87, they are in an assisted living home. My father in-law is 81 and sold out his interest in his farm and cows to one of his sons and now spends his days watching television. I only have the present and future tripping/fearing the aging process is not a good place for my mind to dwell.

    4 months ago
    1. Nannette

      You are not alone, Joseph. My husband and I live on what is called a “farm” here in W.V. We have a bit over 100 acres on this tract of land. We are not farmers- we do not have any farm animals nor do we grow food. I have tried numerous times- but I have lost more gardens than I care to count…after hours of tending. We have fierce summer rains…and my gardens have been washed away- or eaten away by the deer and rabbits and ground hogs (even with fencing). My husband has a wood workshop that is his hobby now that he is retired…the land still needs to be cared for…mowing- making sure culverts are open, trees removed from the “roads”….house repaired as needed. We, too worry that as we age…what will we do? Will we be able to continue to take care of our home and property. We live about 25 miles from groceries, etc…so will we be able to comtinue to drive. All questions we have as we age…and we are 68 and 71. For now..God willing we are both healthy…and we are not letting worry about what is down the road make us fearful. We are enjoying each day we now have… as the old saying of the 60’s….”Let’s live for today”…but be aware of tomorrow. Blessings my friend…you got this!!

      4 months ago
  13. EJP

    This new season of my life is calling for me to understand and learn more with an open heart and soul so that I may be less fearful of today.

    4 months ago
  14. Avril

    I’m not a fan of the word “understand” because there an infinite things that I will never understand. However, I choose to interpret this as “accept”. Acceptance is my weakest primary value. I often want to understand—“why is my stepdaughter making these choices?” My struggle is to let go of fearing what she may do to herself and the family. I aim to trust the Divine Mother, trust my intellect, trust our family bond, and notice when I react to her from my desire to “understand” and control—which is fear. I’m feeling the fear and leaning into love—mostly from afar.

    4 months ago
  15. Carol

    What is calling me to understand more and to fear less?
    I’ve been up most of the night in pain but thankfully I know not to engage in “Why me?” Addressing today’s question, I’m not sure anything is calling me to understand but everything calls me to accept and to trust.

    Today’s quote from John Powell says it well when it calls on us to recognize/acknowledge even when we don’t necessarily understand. He says “When people’s stories are recognized, it does something: It creates a possibility.” The caring and sharing of this community creates possibility in me every day.

    I read a quote yesterday from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés that called out to me to fear less, to not be afraid of my vulnerability. Estes says:

    “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely.”

    Makes me think of the lyric, “This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine.”

    4 months ago
    1. Carol

      After I posted my comment above, I read Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation. Had to share it:
      Arab-American poet Naomi Shihab Nye recalls a transformative, unexpected occasion of generous acceptance:

      Wandering around the Albuquerque Airport Terminal … I heard an announcement: “If anyone in the vicinity of Gate A-4 understands any Arabic, please come to the gate immediately.”

      Well—one pauses these days. Gate A-4 was my own gate. I went there.

      An older woman in full traditional Palestinian embroidered dress, just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly. “Help,” said the flight service person. “Talk to her.… We told her the flight was going to be late and she did this.”

      I stooped to put my arm around the woman and spoke to her haltingly. “Shu-dow-a, Shu-bid-uck Habibti? Stani schway, Min fadlick, Shu-bit-se-wee?” The minute she heard any words she knew, however poorly used, she stopped crying. She thought the flight had been canceled entirely. She needed to be in El Paso for major medical treatment.… I said, “No, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just later, who is picking you up? Let’s call him.”

      We called her son and I spoke with him in English. I told him I would stay with his mother … and would ride next to her.… She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it. Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and found out of course they had ten shared friends. Then I thought … why not call some Palestinian poets I know and let them chat with her? This all took up about two hours.

      She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life, patting my knee, answering questions. She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—and was offering them to all the women at the gate. To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the mom from California, the lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same powdered sugar. And smiling. There is no better cookie.

      And then the airline broke out free beverages … two little girls from our flight ran around serving us all apple juice and they were covered with powdered sugar, too. And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing, with green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

      And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought, this is the world I want to live in. The shared world. Not a single person in that gate—once the crying of confusion stopped—seemed apprehensive about any other person. They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women, too. This can still happen anywhere. Not everything is lost.


      Naomi Shihab Nye, “Gate A-4,” in Honeybee: Poems & Short Prose (New York: Greenwillow Books, 2008), 162–164. Used with permission of author.

      4 months ago
      1. Robin Ann

        wow that is so Beautiful- thanks for sharing!

        4 months ago
      2. Barb C

        I love this poem so, so much. Every time I read it I tear up.

        4 months ago
      3. Nannette

        Thank you, Carol! I had not gotten to Richar Rohr’s site this morning and I love this story!! It is mething we all need!! It reminded me of many years ago. I was standing in line at a bank in Nairobi, Kenya. A man in back of me started up a conversation…He was from the Middle East…He asked where I was from…and I said NY…he said his son was in college in a small town in NY…I asked where…turns out he was in college a few miles from my home. This man and I bonded.. a warm feeling of love and home – in this large world…two people from exact opposite places on the globe met and shared a commonality…There is much of that if we just open ourselves to others.

        4 months ago
      4. Joseph McCann

        What a lovely story Carol. Thank you.

        4 months ago
    2. Avril

      I completely agree Carol. Trying to understand can get us into a head trip.

      4 months ago
1 2

Subscribe to Grateful Living

Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Customize your subscription