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That their actions are really about them and not you. Hurting people hurt people. Healed people help heal people.
Thanks Lydia. So helpful and true … ‘hurting people hurt people. Healed people help heal people.’
‘Healed people help heal people’ – love this:)
That is surely the bridge to empathy and from that comes better communication, compassion, kindness, love, help. Basically what the world needs.
A completely different world view.
a gentle heart
I was having some issues with a co-worker, whom I felt was putting a lot of extra work and unreasonable expectations on me, then I met her supervisor, and realized that she was being put under a lot of pressure and that her supervisor could be pretty harsh; it made me realize why she was doing what she was doing, and it was not anything personal with me, she was just going through it. That really helped. Sometimes I make everything about me or personal, but in reality, when people seem snappy or upset, it often has to do with their own issues, and it is better to help them overcome than take it personal.
So true that things are about us a lot less often than our ego is able to recognize. I’m reminded of the advice for living from The Four Agreements: don’t take things personally.
People are crying out for hope from all walks of life, all over the world.
Without the need to add much more to all the lovely reflections already mentioned by others … not sure if this makes sense but I will give it a go … 🙂 … I wonder if sometimes there is also the need to for us to be understood , to be able to at certain times and situations for us also to better be able to see through the eyes of others. (?) 💕💞
When I endeavor to see through the eyes of others, it becomes clearer to me that all of us want to be good but fail at times because of our own pain, fears, and insecurities. It helps me be more forgiving when I see that others are acting poorly because they themselves might be wounded in some way.
When I endeavor to see through the eyes of others I understand that all of us have unique challenges and difficulties. I am not alone in my struggles and most certainly will not be to first or last to feel this way. I have learned (and consciously try to practice) kindness and compassion for others. We truly never know what someone else is facing.
What this brings up for me is that I frequently have a critical thought about someone and then realize I could apply the same critical thought to myself.. But sometimes I forget and remember this useful practice only later.
I am helping a new Afghan refugee settle in the US. It is challenging because of Covid, and also because of the numerous roadblocks new immigrants face in trying to get the documentation they need to work, find a place to live, and a myriad of other challenges. At times I feel somewhat discouraged with the process, but she is strong and it is so worth my time to figure all these things out for her. She is facing so many more challenges than I am, and yet she is happy and highly motivated to find her place in the US. It is very inspiring.
Empathy, love and compassion which lead to a better understanding of others and the reasons why they think or act a certain way. By doing so better acceptance of others and less self stress.
When I pause and remind myself to endeavor to see through the eyes of others I am reminded that my own perspective and lack of understanding clouds my vision. I can never fully comprehend how others view the world/circumstance…and that reminds me to weave in compassion and curiousity.
That it feels good to be heard. So I need to listen, and with true curiosity.
A different perspective. An understanding.
I like all the other answers here on this page….and I can’t think of anything much to add….except this; I have a neighbor who hates me. She really does. She lives right next door, and even told me she was going to start world war three with me and complain to the city about me at every chance she could. She can put me in stress mode constantly if I allow it. What I have done to deal with this problem is remember what I represent to her….she has a home where there is never anything-not even a dirty dish-out of place, ever. Her yard is manicured to perfection, and what isn’t, does not exist in it. She will rip it out….weeds drive her crazy. Really. She is extremely critical of everyone, but I am the one who gets the most venom. She hates our dog. Truly. I worry that she may poison her someday. Really, it is that bad. Our dog is not allowed to bark over two minutes-I have had to time it only because I think that is reasonable-and then I bring her inside. I have told her husband that if I am in the bathroom or shower or out shopping, and my husband is home with her and she is outside, there is nothing I can do about that. Our townhome is on the side of the parking lot, so Joy loves to greet the neighbors going to their cars with some barking and tail wagging. And neighbors that walk around the back of our yard with their dogs…same thing. Our neighbor used to bang on our wall when we would open our closet doors…it is an adjoining wall in our town home. She has stopped that because her husband found out.
This is an extremely stressful situation, and has been for five years. I try my best to see it through her eyes, through her mind.
All I can offer is kindness, but firmness. Compassion for her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t stand firm. I get it….she has issues that run deep. And I try….but it has lead me to a better understanding and patience.
So I have tried to look at life from her perspective….for her, my messy yard with abundant blossoms that are not always manicured, my front porch that is often filled with plants that are not picture perfect and often have people on it, it must destroy her idea of perfection. So now I have compassion for her. I try to bring this stress to meditation, and that has helped. I do believe this has shown me how to look at someone else’s perspective, but not give up my own. And that is key. That is revealed.
Your neighbor sounds very troubled,
dear Mary Pat,
and possibly dangerous.
No wonder you were compelled to write about it.
I am grateful you have found meditation to be of help,
and indeed it has gotten you through five years of this…
I will keep you in my heart
that you are able to rise above the cruelty next door,
Goodness, I am reading what I wrote yesterday and had no idea it bothered me enough to write all this out! That was revealing to me as well….thank you for listening, and supporting me in this….
You are rising to the challenge in this question with compassion for sure. What a strain on you and also on her, to live on high alert all the time. That must be exhausting all around.
Indeed Barb, it is. But it has shown me how important meditation can be in my life. And I don’t use the gift of meditation I can really feel the stress.
How self-focused I am.
The importance of compassion, kindness and understanding in our interactions with others. And the need to get out of our own heads.
That I don’t know what I thought I knew.
A new perspective and a better understanding.
I’ve done this my whole life,
but don’t know how or where I learned to do this,
but I do it,
often to my own detriment . . .
I think this has something to do with ‘weeping for the universe’.
It is felt viscerally . . .
in my belly,
in the pit of my stomach,
and in my heart.
But what is revealed?
It is something deeper than compassion,
Our connection with each other,
that we are each other,
that we are One.
It is always an aha moment when I see another’s perspective. It helps me to understand their thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
A new perspective that allows me to imagine walking a mile in their moccasins. .
I try to understand what they are facing… I’m more compassionate. But (to be honest) sometimes I’m just puzzled and flummoxed.
And there’s that! Hahaha!
A whole new world of others reality.
The need for compassion.
So true, Kevin.
A different perspective is revealed when seeing through the eyes of others.
That more often than not they are doing the best with what they have/know. If they are not there yet, they can get there. I can see more clearly why they think as they think. Perhaps even see that we have similar values.
That’s inspiring, thank you.
Thank you, Maurice 😊
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