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Feeling underserving of an extraordinary life. Stems from self doubt, lack of trust in my abilities and fear of failing. But i am slowly learning that i have to go after the things i want in life even if i might fail its all one steep learning curve
Because I look back and see how it has been so far.
I need to do something different, see my life differently. Or go on an adventure!
What is extraordinary, really? All of our lives have meaning, and if we can also find a purpose to our lives, it is even better. Just being alive is an extraordinary accomplishment!
I’m not looking for a life out of the ordinary. In the ordinary there is such great beauty. Why stress about pushing into something that is extraordinary?
Wonderful. I love this.
Thank you Anna.
WHAT KEEPS YOU FROM TRUSTING THAT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU?
During my PERSONAL BREAKTHROUGH transformation, I have increased my trust & faith in my decisions in life. I was a person ALWAYS in her emotions and feeling like I had to prove my belief (secretly because I didn’t believe fully myself). Currently I have been blessed to be “reborn” in a way where LIFE’S PURPOSE has become so clear and AMAZING that I want to share it with EVERYONE to make life worthwhile for all of US. Before I would focus on ways that I DID NOT TRUST the Universe nor myself; which was fuel for my anxiety. I am so happy to say I am progressing and growing and tend to focus on the positive A LOT MORE.
NOW for “work”/ “healing and supporting” I install a “Cup ALWAYS half Full” mindset. ALL things (emotionally/mentally) associated with fear/neglect are to be CELEBRATED because these “RED FLAGS” are signals of being human and having awareness. Awareness is one of the steps for personal development, wellness, success & fulfillment.
Rather than dwell that you have recognized something bad I focus on the simple fact that there is AWARENESS and these are messages from our mind, body and soul telling us we KNOW and WANT BETTER !!! Keep going and keep growing there is always a blessing as a disguise. Open your mind, body and spirit to life start trusting The Creator/ God than increase personal trust and focus on what IS AVAILABLE for YOU in this extraordinary life.
I’ve always been the kind of person that dreams and visions the life I want to live in the future! Sometimes, I fear it loses it’s touch with reality, but I know that such a life is possible if I work for it. And then some days, I fear that I’m taking the life I have right now for granted. One thing I’ve done, despite wanting other things, is to be grateful for what I have now. It’s just a matter of reassurance for me. There is a fear of failure instilled in everyone, but I think if we trust ourselves and the process, we’ll be able to overcome it like any other challenge in life! I believe I will live that extraordinary life that I vision for me, I don’t know how, what or when, but I know I will.
At my age, I figure I’ve another 15-20 years to attain the extraordinary life. Perhaps I am already living it and just need to recognize and be grateful for it. When I lack this awareness it’s because I slip into fear of committing to the hard work I’ve been trained to accept as needed, rather than grace, for example. Fear of failure, which ultimately leads to fear of death, holds me back.
When I doubt that I am not special enough to have one, fear, not being worthy. Yet everyday is more extraordinary to me as I age. Just seeing a bee or looking at the big gorgeous moon in the night sky last night. Really just gaining wisdom with age that living is extraordinary on planet Earth. Sets one free of ego based fear.
What keeps you from trusting that an extraordinary life is available to you?
By how it has been to date.
What helps you trust that an extraordinary life is available to you?
By how it has been to date.
Allowing myself to be distracted by nonsense and not keeping focused on the priorities I have set for myself.
For a long time I almost did not know other than living up to imprinted set standards of expectation, with an arrogant entitlement of an assumed extraordinary life, similar to what has been mentioned by Matthew E. In this mindset, the other people and also me had good chance to land up in a role associated with judgment and other mechanisms where good or bad, better or worse, wrong or right, so polarity and duality were leading principles. Then I saw that beyond this, when really looking closely, underneath there was helplessness, difficulty to find orientation inside my own and not so much of some already formulated authentic contribution, which would come from my heart and not from my “doing” to create together how we could best live together in this world, led by the heart. Currently, it is work in progress to detect the residues, which belong to these old habits of mind and to transform all into a peaceful and joyful state ready to share with others in the best way possible. I am happy and deeply grateful to have the chance and so much support of many dear kindred hearts. This by now is on its way to change inner perspective and to open up inside to the deep joy to possibly living a life blossoming in humility, humbleness and gratefulness, being there and giving and sharing with an open heart..
I agree with many of the comments below. Not having enough self belief -for example, even when I found myself surprisingly an executive Head of 3 schools, I couldn’t believe it was right! The old imposter syndrome again! And I often feel that I am too small to live an extraordinary life and make a difference.
But when a question like this stops me and makes me think, I do feel that, as many people have said, actually my life is extraordinary every day, and I have so much to enjoy and be grateful for. That’s the beauty of this site – it does help you stop and take stock and sometimes challenge your thinking.
Every time I say “I can’t” — either to myself or out loud.
Negativity —- in all of its ugly forms.
Ideas and behavior pattern ingrained in me since childhood.
Fear- fear of failure, fear of not thinking I’m good enough, fear of success- plain old fear
Lack of presence and awareness. Not making and taking the time to step back, meditate, reflect, connect and ground physically in the here and now with all that is; to accept and be with what is as it is, to practice gratitude. Forgetting to pause.
Fear. Also, forgetting gratefulness. Coincidentally, when I am fearful, I forget to be grateful. But when I move through fear and trust with all my heart, I can get to gratefulness and life can be extraordinary!
But that being said, and I forget this… life is extraordinary ALL THE TIME. Good , bad or indifferent.
Yes, I left out that part of my reply, too – the extraordinariness of my life already. Thanks, Craig K
Depends on the definition of extraordinary. Each day is extraordinary in that it is new every morning. What I do with it and how I react to life’s events makes all the difference. I can rely on old programing or change and see things differently. The fact that I have that choice (when I am aware) is extraordinary. A scripture comes to mind. “No temptation has seized you, except what is common to man. And God is faithful when you are tempted he will provide a way out so you can stand up under it.” My job, is to seek, is to notice when I’m feeling stuck and turn to God as my guide to get out of my limited beliefs or thinking. The mystery of the God of my understanding always knows best. Having that option to trust is extraordinary and works every time. Jesus said, I have come so you can have life and have it to the full. When I trust what Jesus said and act accordingly and question my limited beliefs and remember to trust, I’m in good shape.
Epigenetics also speaks to this concept in scientific terms. The work of Bruce Lipton in The Biology of Belief agrees. We can change. We are not a set program designed by our inherited genes. We can make choices to change. That to me is extraordinary and then life becomes available. Life is change.
Yes- this—— Each day is extraordinary in that it is new every morning. What I do with it and how I react to life’s events makes all the difference. I can rely on old programing or change and see things differently. The fact that I have that choice (when I am aware) is extraordinary.
What a great question! My biggest roadblock is the belief that I’m not worthy of an extraordinary life. Who am I to deserve such blessings, to shine so brightly in the world? On a cognitive level, I know this belief is false, but deep inside, it is still a wound that needs healing.
Entitlement is what keeps me from trusting that an extraordinary life is indeed already mine. At the half century mark, regretfully, I am just now seeing I have an extraordinary life. I have been walking blind with arrogant entitlement. I am here to live differently from now on. I “found”:gratefulness.org out of the brokenness of my friend Adam. Adam was in the midst of burn out and came to my home for a few days to just be. A few weeks later he wrote in a newsletter about his soul renewing time with us and his journey into gratitude. In a few short weeks his ulcer was healed, dark mood lifted and his chest tightness released. His suffering became my double blessing. I thought he was the one in crisis, turns out (surprise) it was me. I am so grateful.
Thank you, Matthew E – that’s a thought-provoking answer – Entitlement – and a wonderful story.
I think most of us would just like to live an ordinary life these days. Travel, see and hug friends and relatives, attend large gatherings, sing in a choir, dance til we drop! An extra ordinary life is not about egoic successes. It’s about a healthy relationship with one’s self and with others. As I’ve stated many times before, I’m reminded of John Lennon’s song, “Imagine.” .
Thank you, Carol – a young adult family member said last night that he was waiting for life to get back to normal, and he disagreed with my opinion that we’ll never get back to the old normal. Thank you, too, Carol, for reminding me of John Lennon’s moving song, “Imagine.”
I am living an extraordinary life! I know I am loved with an everlasting love. I know I am blessed beyond what I “deserve”. And I know that eternity awaits me. That, my friend, is extraordinary!
Nothing now or anything from the past years has kept me from living, having and being in an extraordinary life. I have had advantages, opportunities, great love and support and the God of creation backing me all the way. There has been no “life maze” for me to negotiate but rather an endless walk in a labyrinth meeting others on the same path, going away from others, turning, going, coming full circle. I have good health, good memories, have learned from errors, cherish my family and friends, feel at peace with who I am and whose I am.
Your sharing echoes the ‘Word of the Day’ very well!
Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.
RABBI ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL
WHAT KEEPS YOU FROM TRUSTING THAT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE IS AVAILABLE TO ME?
My previous mental health conditions keeps me from trusting that this “amazing life” is available to me. At 27 I was diagnosis w/ [Anxiety & Panic Disorder] I was advised from my MD’s that is NOT CURABLE BUT TREATABLE. At first they diagnosis me with a chronic heart condition that can cause a heart-attack;.which increased my anxiety more. From all my research within the past 3yr has given me the experience & knowledge. We know what other’s do not know this is because we have had a few break-throughs and self discoveries.
My environment can also be inconsiderate as sometimes its influences the body, mind & soul survivor. I try to be in places that have open sky’s and less sky scrapers. When I begin to feel lazy it is most. likely that my environment NO LONGER serves me; I take the proper precautions to adjust my surroundings and move from time to time. When I get comfortable I do not put forth the high vibration or energy that is required for my business & Non Profit Org.
Please keep in mind Environment factors are anything to do with your surroundings and imprints from a child (beliefs & behaviors created as a child.
My mind constantly tells me that I may have a panic attack and shouldn’t be traveling alone, however my HEART tells me I am protected and have a duty & obligation.
After reading the responses of others and wrestling with my own, I’m considering that the question itself is either bogus or simply confusing. And that primarily lies in the use of the word “extraordinary”. What is extraordinary to one is not to another. I would have to define the extraordinary life in my mind even before answering the question. I’m not up for that today.
That is a courageously honest answer. Keep seeking and you will find. I prayed for you today.
Nothing keeps me from trusting that an extraordinary life is available to me. I am trusting the Universe. Many responses on this website have uplifted me and given me hope. Positivity.
NOTHING trust wise. If there is a “stopping” it is there for protection only. . .. But on the other hand “life available” while experiencing the dualism of life in the world of separation is for gaining ‘Life experiences’ fundamentally needed, absolutely important conditioning so as to ……
.be able to exist and live as “ordinary” in the IMMENSE experiences to-come in the so-called, “extra-ordinary” higher states of BE-ing-ness. Yes they are all there NOW (and always have been THERE) ….When one does not develop their BEing-ness while in the world of separation then there is a sense called “doubt” which is a protection system within the sub-consciousness saying, “your not ready for more yet,”
M’y attitude has shifted to the idea that life and being alive is extraordinary. There is so much that living has to offer. I just look around me and see all that there is, that having reasonably good health, being able to hear and feel my heart beat and my lungs breath is something amazing and realize how amazing the human body is and things around me such as Mother Nature and the stars in the sky are.
The ghosts of the past.
Limited thinking for example the pandemic is not allowing for me …. stops me from living an extraordinary life.
At the same time, it’s interesting to look deeply at the word extra-ordinary.
Life it self is extra ordinary. Being grateful to breath and have working eyes that can allow me to see the beauty around me is extraordinary!
The “ordinary” is where gratefulness is born and blossoms.
This question assumes that one doesn’t already consider their life extraordinary. Isn’t ordinary life also, in many ways, extraordinary? This question also makes it sound like we hold ourselves back. Do we?
I think this question has hit a nerve for me, just at the moment. As someone who puts a lot of expectations on themselves, I instead need to practice that what I do is enough. I am enough.
Nothing. Anymore, that is! The old version of me didn’t think I deserved love or happiness, muchless an “extraordinary” life. But through healing, empowerment, and the grace of God, I have learned that I do deserve those things. I also know that extraordinary is subjective. Is my life extraordinary in a way that I am famous, astonishing, or incredible? Probably not. But it is a miraculous life that I’m living. It’s unique because it’s my individual experience. It’s phenomenal to me, the things that I have grown through and the processes by which I came to where I am today. A simple life can be an extraordinary life, depending on your perspective – I woke up to another day. My heart is beating. My brain is thinking. I’ll go to work and do my thing, and then I’ll come home and garden, cook, play with our animals…maybe the next couple of days there might be some waves, so I’ll get to go surfing. If not, I’ll practice some yoga or pull up a kickboxing class on youtube. The fact that I can do these things while living in a state of joy and gratitude for them all is pretty extraordinary… to me 🙂
hahahaha. Wow. Interesting question.
My father certainly lived an extraordinary life, many times over, and was widely recognized for it. It can be difficult growing up in the shadow of an extraordinary and successful parent. Expectations for yourself are high, but you never quite feel out of that shadow.
It doesn’t help matters that your parent expects all his children to be extraordinary, to buck the system, to strike an unique path, to, as my brother puts it, “have contempt for conformity.”
I don’t feel extraordinary. Unusual at times, yes, but not extraordinary. And I’ve had unusual life events, not through my own doing. But it wasn’t until this question today that I realized that I DO have an extraordinary life…
…that the gift is, we all do.
Quiet or famous doesn’t matter. Conformity or non-conformity doesn’t matter. Success or continued struggles doesn’t matter. This life is mine. It is like none other. I have choice. It is miraculous, and extraordinary.
Holly, I can relate to your response. I had a parent that was very outgoing, gregarious and talkative. I felt “in the shadow” at times. But I learned as time went on to grow into “be yourself” and “just be”.
From Leave Yourself Alone by Barry Magid
“Just sitting means just that. That “just” endlessly goes against the grain of our need to fix, transform, and improve ourselves. The paradox of our practice is that the most effective way of transformation is to leave ourselves alone. The more we let everything be just what it is, the more we relax into an open, attentive awareness of one moment after another. Just sitting leaves everything just as it is.”
From today’s Word of the Day:
Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.
RABBI ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL
There are times throughout each day, moments really, when my grounded reality is in a world that is essentially hostile. That is threatening in its nature. Those moments I am operating in a fundamentally survivalist mode, and in those times trusting that the future is rosy just doesn’t have a chance. Now, it is also true that this is not the dominant state of affairs. That through practice and after a good deal of therapy (LOL) I am able to shift that grounded reality. I am not attached to it in my deepest sense of self or my character. I do not succumb to it. It passes. Why is this tug-of-war going on? I assume it’s because I refuse to be in denial about the utter awful parts of our existence. What we are capable of and actually perpetrate on one another.
Or it is simply that you have experienced fright and pain in your life. Be gentle with yourself, Howie.
Reality and need. Reality, because thinking, wishing, and believing, don’t make things happen. Work and commitment make these things happen. And the second part of my answer, “need,” is about knowing what I need, and I personally do not have a need for an extraordinary life. What I do strive for is a life of purpose, meaning and usefulness that adds a measure of worth and perhaps joy, as rent, for my time here on the planet.
“Purpose” – thank you, Kevin
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