For the moment being, i will appreciate my inability to find my sleep in time. It would cause feeling having rested well in the morning when preparing for tne new day. May you all havae a sound sleep today.
I have a friend
who regularly finds something wrong with me . . .
she is an older-than-me-lady
who has the sharp tongue and the street smarts
of a New York City dweller,
and indeed spent much of her youth there.
I meet her for coffee once a week
after I’ve done my grocery shop.
Every week it’s something different,
and
(I have to laugh),
she will place her judgement upon me about opposite things
in the space of a couple of weeks.
It seems that anything will do.
She never hesitates to share her opinions about me
with me.
At first, I was offended and hurt by her comments,
but over the 15 years of our relationship,
I’ve learned not to take them personally,
and I have never engaged in an argument or discussion about them.
They no longer bother me.
She might say I should cut my hair,
sell my house,
pluck my eyebrows,
stop wearing long skirts,
don’t do hard work . . .
leave it for the men,
have that mole on my neck removed,
don’t talk to people in the stores . . .
they don’t care,
you have a hole in your sweater,
you try to do too much,
you don’t do enough.
Sometimes she is right,
sometimes not,
but it doesn’t matter,
because she is my faithful reminder
that I am not perfect,
and I can live with that.
Frankly,
I credit her in a way
because inadvertently,
she has helped me embrace most of my imperfections,
and freed me pretty much
from the desire to be perfect,
which I was a bit of a slave to
when I was in the flower of my youth.
I thank her for that. ♥
When I cultivate a greater appreciation for my imperfections, my self-perception shifts. It’s not an excuse for my mistakes in life, but rather a motivation to keep learning and growing, knowing I will never be perfect. I choose to accept myself and remain open to accepting others.
My aim is greater understanding acceptance of myself and others. Like the many trees now shedding their leaves, diversity, imperfection and unique shape, form, energy and expression is all there is. How helpful is it to judge who or what is perfect, or imperfect? If I gain greater self-acceptance and understanding today, and a bit more tomorrow, maybe that is enough …
If I had more appreciation for my imperfections, I might not try so hard to hide them from others. This, in turn, would likely lead to more genuine connection and more inner peace. This is a big one for me– thanks for the question!
I am able to bring more loving compassionate towards myself. In my morning routine, I’ve been free writing my thoughts as soon as I wake up. This morning, I was being so hard on myself and found myself crying. But like I would with a friend, I slowed down and told myself that it’s ok. I’m allowed to feel this way but there’s no need to be harsh. I finished my entry with a commitment to be more kind to myself today. And for that, I am grateful. 🙏🏽🧡
I’m reminded of the statement “it’s not that I think less of myself, it’s that I think of my self less.” Getting out of self centeredness and thinking more or others. ☮️
More patience with myself & less frustration perhaps. I think I need more time to ponder this question & read others responses.
Happy Beautiful Thursday All. 🍁🍂
🕊️♥️
Since I have become less ashamed of my imperfections and my shortcomings, I have a lot less to worry about. It frees up a lot of mental space. Keeping these things hidden and fretting about them, takes a tremendous amount of energy.
It’s a bit like Malcolm Gladwell describes in the book “The Tipping Point” where your imperfections, sometimes, become your super power. The things that I have had to do, to work around some of my deficits, have given me other abilities.
I appreciate who I am and what I have become. I’m a bit late to the game. I spent far too many years, and although I’ve gotten better, I still spend too much time fretting.
“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened”
– Mark Twain
Yes Charlie I can relate. I have spent way too much time hiding my short comings from others. I have propped up “false pretenses” quite a bit myself. Trying not to do that anymore.
Love the quote from Mark Twain, thanks for sharing.
🕊️♥️
That’s an interesting question. I might shift some of the inner critic and FOMO that manifests. I might see that they are just thoughts and not truth. A little critic keeps me on my P’s and Q’s— most of the time I just get small.
just a silly note from me: I don’t know the reference of FOMO…. but minding my P’s and Q’s makes perfect sense. I grew up with the saying. (I remember learning that it comes from the old days of type setting and that when the printer placed their letter “p” or their letter “q” they had to pay attention to the placement.) I do get comforted by the old-timey familiar…… Thanks, Avril. xox
I have been watching things shift little by little over the past several years, this past year especially, by accepting my so-called imperfections. I say so-called because perfection is so subjective – I don’t believe that, as humans, we will ever be free from flaws. The human experience is a path of learning and growing and acceptance. If we do the work, we can learn an appreciation for all that has been, all that is, and all that is to come – without any expectations. Everything we have ever been through has brought us to where we are right now, so while I might get frustrated with my physical self (female aging issues, mostly), I also have to remember how fortunate I am to be here at all. To be in this vessel that’s carrying me around on my path, even if my lower back bothers me sometimes and doesn’t let me bend the way I want to😆
My main weakness is being selective in how I want to receive care from others. For example, I have a tendency to get annoyed when grown-ups at family gatherings: over-read into my emotions, ask me 20 questions, talk in that babyish voice, cuddle, and pet me like a pet, especially when Ngoc’s not around for even just a little bit like a few seconds. The belief in Asian cultures is that you’re always a little kid to your parents. In a family of families cultures, any grown-up of our parents’s generation can be our parents. This clashes with my “Loc Down” brand, because the main thing it chases is autonomy. I can be steadfast in my ways. With that being said, I know my weaknesses and can turn them into strengths.
I can come off stubborn in the eyes of others. That, just like with anything, is subjective. I see myself as being firm in my mfoundation. I steadily adapt instead of allowing myself to go where the wind blows. As far as care selectiveness, I know my wants and needs and will go after them. I’m assertive like a bear. I’m no superteamer like LeBron James. I just know how to surround myself with the right people who will naturally accommodate for my wants, needs, and values. Collective Asian cultures aren’t bad. They’re just incompatible with my brand and me.
I designed my brand to inspire others to just be themselves like me. What makes you unique? I learned my business brand from Shaq. Shaq’s a larger than life personality. He’s able to win and have fun just like with me desiring to live a life beyond the keys as a piano player. The only main difference between him and me is that he’s a giant guy in size, and I’m just an ant when standing next to him. We’re both larger than life personalities without the politics.
Struggles in those traditional Asian gatherings make me need and love Ngoc even more. I’m like a bear. That’s the 8W9 ennielgram. With her, I’m a big teddy bear. Out in the world, I appear like a Grizzly bear but become a teddy bear for those who have earned my trust.
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For the moment being, i will appreciate my inability to find my sleep in time. It would cause feeling having rested well in the morning when preparing for tne new day. May you all havae a sound sleep today.
I have a friend
who regularly finds something wrong with me . . .
she is an older-than-me-lady
who has the sharp tongue and the street smarts
of a New York City dweller,
and indeed spent much of her youth there.
I meet her for coffee once a week
after I’ve done my grocery shop.
Every week it’s something different,
and
(I have to laugh),
she will place her judgement upon me about opposite things
in the space of a couple of weeks.
It seems that anything will do.
She never hesitates to share her opinions about me
with me.
At first, I was offended and hurt by her comments,
but over the 15 years of our relationship,
I’ve learned not to take them personally,
and I have never engaged in an argument or discussion about them.
They no longer bother me.
She might say I should cut my hair,
sell my house,
pluck my eyebrows,
stop wearing long skirts,
don’t do hard work . . .
leave it for the men,
have that mole on my neck removed,
don’t talk to people in the stores . . .
they don’t care,
you have a hole in your sweater,
you try to do too much,
you don’t do enough.
Sometimes she is right,
sometimes not,
but it doesn’t matter,
because she is my faithful reminder
that I am not perfect,
and I can live with that.
Frankly,
I credit her in a way
because inadvertently,
she has helped me embrace most of my imperfections,
and freed me pretty much
from the desire to be perfect,
which I was a bit of a slave to
when I was in the flower of my youth.
I thank her for that. ♥
When I cultivate a greater appreciation for my imperfections, my self-perception shifts. It’s not an excuse for my mistakes in life, but rather a motivation to keep learning and growing, knowing I will never be perfect. I choose to accept myself and remain open to accepting others.
My Ngoc, after all, we’re never finished products and there’s trash everywhere.
My aim is greater understanding acceptance of myself and others. Like the many trees now shedding their leaves, diversity, imperfection and unique shape, form, energy and expression is all there is. How helpful is it to judge who or what is perfect, or imperfect? If I gain greater self-acceptance and understanding today, and a bit more tomorrow, maybe that is enough …
I would definitely feel better about myself. I do better than I use to do in this area but that inner judge does still like to challenge me.
If I had more appreciation for my imperfections, I might not try so hard to hide them from others. This, in turn, would likely lead to more genuine connection and more inner peace. This is a big one for me– thanks for the question!
I am able to bring more loving compassionate towards myself. In my morning routine, I’ve been free writing my thoughts as soon as I wake up. This morning, I was being so hard on myself and found myself crying. But like I would with a friend, I slowed down and told myself that it’s ok. I’m allowed to feel this way but there’s no need to be harsh. I finished my entry with a commitment to be more kind to myself today. And for that, I am grateful. 🙏🏽🧡
Kindness is a good and necessary thing. Directed at others and ourselves. Thank you Jenifer.
I’d cultivate more compassion for myself and the human condition, which is very imperfect!
I’m reminded of the statement “it’s not that I think less of myself, it’s that I think of my self less.” Getting out of self centeredness and thinking more or others. ☮️
More patience with myself & less frustration perhaps. I think I need more time to ponder this question & read others responses.
Happy Beautiful Thursday All. 🍁🍂
🕊️♥️
Since I have become less ashamed of my imperfections and my shortcomings, I have a lot less to worry about. It frees up a lot of mental space. Keeping these things hidden and fretting about them, takes a tremendous amount of energy.
It’s a bit like Malcolm Gladwell describes in the book “The Tipping Point” where your imperfections, sometimes, become your super power. The things that I have had to do, to work around some of my deficits, have given me other abilities.
I appreciate who I am and what I have become. I’m a bit late to the game. I spent far too many years, and although I’ve gotten better, I still spend too much time fretting.
“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened”
– Mark Twain
Thank you Charlie.
Yes Charlie I can relate. I have spent way too much time hiding my short comings from others. I have propped up “false pretenses” quite a bit myself. Trying not to do that anymore.
Love the quote from Mark Twain, thanks for sharing.
🕊️♥️
That’s an interesting question. I might shift some of the inner critic and FOMO that manifests. I might see that they are just thoughts and not truth. A little critic keeps me on my P’s and Q’s— most of the time I just get small.
just a silly note from me: I don’t know the reference of FOMO…. but minding my P’s and Q’s makes perfect sense. I grew up with the saying. (I remember learning that it comes from the old days of type setting and that when the printer placed their letter “p” or their letter “q” they had to pay attention to the placement.) I do get comforted by the old-timey familiar…… Thanks, Avril. xox
FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out
Thanks Michele
I MIGHT feel whole because there are always 2 sides. There is always an opposite. And yet it is a whole.
Indeed,
dear Yram . . . 🙂
I have been watching things shift little by little over the past several years, this past year especially, by accepting my so-called imperfections. I say so-called because perfection is so subjective – I don’t believe that, as humans, we will ever be free from flaws. The human experience is a path of learning and growing and acceptance. If we do the work, we can learn an appreciation for all that has been, all that is, and all that is to come – without any expectations. Everything we have ever been through has brought us to where we are right now, so while I might get frustrated with my physical self (female aging issues, mostly), I also have to remember how fortunate I am to be here at all. To be in this vessel that’s carrying me around on my path, even if my lower back bothers me sometimes and doesn’t let me bend the way I want to😆
My main weakness is being selective in how I want to receive care from others. For example, I have a tendency to get annoyed when grown-ups at family gatherings: over-read into my emotions, ask me 20 questions, talk in that babyish voice, cuddle, and pet me like a pet, especially when Ngoc’s not around for even just a little bit like a few seconds. The belief in Asian cultures is that you’re always a little kid to your parents. In a family of families cultures, any grown-up of our parents’s generation can be our parents. This clashes with my “Loc Down” brand, because the main thing it chases is autonomy. I can be steadfast in my ways. With that being said, I know my weaknesses and can turn them into strengths.
I can come off stubborn in the eyes of others. That, just like with anything, is subjective. I see myself as being firm in my mfoundation. I steadily adapt instead of allowing myself to go where the wind blows. As far as care selectiveness, I know my wants and needs and will go after them. I’m assertive like a bear. I’m no superteamer like LeBron James. I just know how to surround myself with the right people who will naturally accommodate for my wants, needs, and values. Collective Asian cultures aren’t bad. They’re just incompatible with my brand and me.
I designed my brand to inspire others to just be themselves like me. What makes you unique? I learned my business brand from Shaq. Shaq’s a larger than life personality. He’s able to win and have fun just like with me desiring to live a life beyond the keys as a piano player. The only main difference between him and me is that he’s a giant guy in size, and I’m just an ant when standing next to him. We’re both larger than life personalities without the politics.
Struggles in those traditional Asian gatherings make me need and love Ngoc even more. I’m like a bear. That’s the 8W9 ennielgram. With her, I’m a big teddy bear. Out in the world, I appear like a Grizzly bear but become a teddy bear for those who have earned my trust.