The aspect of strictness towards self and others is loosening up then while in the same time it offers more space between both perfection and imperfection. Although it is my prefered approach to do things as good as possible, naturally failure in this is unavoidable. It makes me happy to only recently starting to open up to be less judgemental towards myself in this sense and more aware of the space inbetween, where something else might possibly appear also. Another quality, more free engagement, love, which currently starting to be experienced in singing or playing music for example. Thank you for this question.
I just wanted to share with you all, completely off-topic, that I just came from my 90th birthday party where I was wrapped in the love of family and friends. “Imperfections” are completely irrelevant in that context. And who is to say what “imperfections” are, anyway?
I am a bit late with my greeting…But!! HAPPY< HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dolores!!! I am very grateful to have you here – I look forwrd to your answers to the daily question. Thank you and Bless You…May your days be filled with laughter and happiness and much love!!
I just work on the imperfections that I would like to. My most recent and never ending (lol) is trying to eat healthy and workout more. I do not dwell on my imperfections at this age 64 going on 46 haha! I have never been a perfectionist so I am grateful for that!
My daughter will be 4 mos sober in 2 days, that is what I focus on and celebrate today! She sounds very positive and has a healthier outlook and is communicating a lot with me which makes this Mom very happy!! The word of the day helps sum it up!
Three years ago after a divorce (my decision after a 26 year marriage) I sat down one day and forgave myself for not being all of the things other people thought I should be. I haven’t been the perfect daughter, friend, sister, wife, mom, co-worker, and so on…but this is who I am.
My post divorce tattoo reads: I am worthy and that is enough.
Enough said. Life is precious!
My view of other people. If I am not so hard on myself about my imperfections then I won’t be as hard on others about seeing the same ones in them. Having more compassion for people. I will feel lighter and freer.
I ended up writing what would have been my post as a reply to Deann’s remark below.
I’ll switch to a different topic for more thoughts prompted by this question. All my life I have considered myself a procrastinator. I do far better with deadline pressure. Postponing something till the last minute creates an artificial deadline pressure and I do really good work at that point. But a while back I read something that said essentially I’m not procrastinating, I’m respecting the way my mind works and using it in a way that works for me. Completely shifted my thinking about my time management. I’m managing it so it works *for me*. I’m not failing at trying to follow someone else’s idea of time management. My mind is working on whatever it is even if I don’t have my fingers on the keyboard. I’m synthesizing, I’m collecting more ideas and information on a long walk listening to a podcast, I’m picking up something from a question someone asks and weaving it into the work. That’s how my brain works and it works just fine.
One person’s “imperfection” is another person’s “works perfectly”. Giving the judge in my brain some time off deletes a lot of so-called imperfections.
I love this! I am going to share this with my daughter who is in high school and tells me all the time she waits last minute for assignments because it works for her. I will tell her “ mom gets it now”. I try to give her space and let her do it her way, but I also ask her to be done in time to get a good night sleep. Your post will help me to let her do her thing. Thank you
More self love & less self-criticism. I needed this prompt today as this is something I often struggle with & often have a great deal of shame surrounding my imperfections. I hope that I can continue to grow and learn to embrace them.
Michele, first of all, there was a technology glitch when I was responding to you a couple hours ago. I did some testing replying to Josie on Deann’s answer, that went through. Glad that got resolved.
But anyways, your answer reminds me of my apology post from a few weeks ago when I received unanimous support in the responses, especially most importantly, from you. I immigrated to the US when I was 1.5yrs old with my family in the summer of 1993. Technically, English is my 2nd language. My autism plays a part in me being developmentally delayed. But however, I was able to take off at the right time with the proper resources.
I misunderstood the definition of sex and gender. My easiest explanation is that the former is outside, and the ladder refers to inside. Afterall, all types of people buy sneakers and listen to music. On a serious note put simply, “Each their own.” In detail, they are whatever gender they choose to identify with.
Some of the funniest moments of my life come from my imperfections. And I wasn’t always able to see the humor that others saw in my imperfections. As I have mentioned before, I have come a long way on the road to getting over my perfectionism. Much to the relief of those who love me a lot!
At this point in time in my life, I don’t want to give energy to being perfect. So shifting away from that gives me more time for what’s truly important to me. And that is a lot more fun!
Many of you refer to our imperfections being qualities that make us unique, human, approachable. That is where I want to live.
Mary, I’m all too familiar with that coming from the Vietnamese culture. Once lessons have been learned, and everything becomes water under the bridge, the humor comes out no matter how intense the situation may feel in the heat of the moment.
I would have more self compassion and by doing so show my daughters that our imperfections make us special. I am healthy and fit yet have had about 20 pounds to lose for years. I struggle with my image but still workout almost everyday and eat healthy food…I also add the processed unhealthy goodies and I never turn away from a home baked treat. I am the least intimidating fitness instructor you will meet and honestly I think it is my imperfections that keep my classes full. Sort of, “ if she can do this so can I” During those moments I accept by imperfections. When I put on clothes….not so much/
Mentally and emotionally well I don’t think those imperfections will ever be fixed but I am learning to be me again after always meeting everyone else’s needs. And little by little I find those imperfections help create my story. The method of change or acceptance just adds to the plot.
The first thing I thought of was acceptance of my body as it is now, not as it was 20 or 30 or 40 years ago. I can look at it through perceptions completely formed by media and by companies trying to sell me things and see imperfection. Or I can look at it and see a body that has done amazing things and that is still doing amazing things every day just moving me around and tasting and enjoying food and using oxygen to fuel my movement. I don’t have to look at anything about me and see imperfection.
At this point in my life I really don’t want to have instruction from people who have the kind of bodies that tell me maintaining that appearance is a primary focus of their attention. I want to learn from people who have a more well-rounded life and that often means a more well-rounded body. I would like your class far more than one taught by an impossible ideal. Because what made it an ideal in the first place?!
Barb, Just yesterday while standing before stepping into the shower at the mirror, I noticed that my shoulders to hips bodily image has filled up the available frame of the mirror. After giving it some thought, I’ve decided that I need a new mirror!
Much of what you wrote about body image and meeting my own needs strikes a chord in me too, Deanne. Wish I could be in your fitness class.😉 Thanks for sharing.
Josie, my apologies for going off topic. I’m glad your response to Deann went through. I was trying to comment on Michele’s post around 8amcst. There was a technology glitch.
I’ve also just noticed that shorter responses work better too. Yesterday, I put a few paragraphs replying to Ngoc, and it worked just fine. It could possibly be a data issue. Who knows?
I’ve gotten in the habit of doing a copy of my answer before I hit submit just in case it vanishes into the void.
2
2 months ago
L
Loc Tran
Thanks for your input, Barb. With this being a website, I’m sure you probably use the computer like a lot of people on this site do. I use the phone. That can make a difference. Phone users are at a greater risk for glitches. And FYI, I’m very happy my comment to Michele from this morning went through as if last checked now after waking up from a good nap for almost 2hrs.
1
2 months ago
L
Loc Tran
Deann, I resignate with this as someone who’s a cross between the American and Vietnamese culture even with a mild case of autism and bipolar mania.
Sunnapatti, I see where you’re coming from. We live in a society full of expectations. There’s only more to do within less time. Embracing imperfections takes work.
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I have a lot of problems with my imperfections.
Staying in this site, reading your answers, really helps me.
The aspect of strictness towards self and others is loosening up then while in the same time it offers more space between both perfection and imperfection. Although it is my prefered approach to do things as good as possible, naturally failure in this is unavoidable. It makes me happy to only recently starting to open up to be less judgemental towards myself in this sense and more aware of the space inbetween, where something else might possibly appear also. Another quality, more free engagement, love, which currently starting to be experienced in singing or playing music for example. Thank you for this question.
I just wanted to share with you all, completely off-topic, that I just came from my 90th birthday party where I was wrapped in the love of family and friends. “Imperfections” are completely irrelevant in that context. And who is to say what “imperfections” are, anyway?
I am a bit late with my greeting…But!! HAPPY< HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dolores!!! I am very grateful to have you here – I look forwrd to your answers to the daily question. Thank you and Bless You…May your days be filled with laughter and happiness and much love!!
Happy birthday dear Dolores!
Happy Birthday Dolores!!
Thank you all so much. I love you all and I am grateful to have you in my life.
Wishing you a very happy 90th Dolores:)
What a milestone! May the blessings continue to come abundantly. Thank you for who you are and who you are to this community of grateful believers.❤️
Wow! Happy Birthday, Dolores!
Happy late birthday and so glad you had such a special celebration!
Dolores, I remember your reply to me from the compassion thread. Happy 90th birthday.
That is a few turns around the sun Dolores!
I just work on the imperfections that I would like to. My most recent and never ending (lol) is trying to eat healthy and workout more. I do not dwell on my imperfections at this age 64 going on 46 haha! I have never been a perfectionist so I am grateful for that!
My daughter will be 4 mos sober in 2 days, that is what I focus on and celebrate today! She sounds very positive and has a healthier outlook and is communicating a lot with me which makes this Mom very happy!! The word of the day helps sum it up!
This is great! Very happy for her and you:)
Please relay to your daughter my sincerest congratulations’ Robin Ann.
Thank you Joseph I sure will : )
Three years ago after a divorce (my decision after a 26 year marriage) I sat down one day and forgave myself for not being all of the things other people thought I should be. I haven’t been the perfect daughter, friend, sister, wife, mom, co-worker, and so on…but this is who I am.
My post divorce tattoo reads: I am worthy and that is enough.
Enough said. Life is precious!
Yes indeed!!
My view of other people. If I am not so hard on myself about my imperfections then I won’t be as hard on others about seeing the same ones in them. Having more compassion for people. I will feel lighter and freer.
I ended up writing what would have been my post as a reply to Deann’s remark below.
I’ll switch to a different topic for more thoughts prompted by this question. All my life I have considered myself a procrastinator. I do far better with deadline pressure. Postponing something till the last minute creates an artificial deadline pressure and I do really good work at that point. But a while back I read something that said essentially I’m not procrastinating, I’m respecting the way my mind works and using it in a way that works for me. Completely shifted my thinking about my time management. I’m managing it so it works *for me*. I’m not failing at trying to follow someone else’s idea of time management. My mind is working on whatever it is even if I don’t have my fingers on the keyboard. I’m synthesizing, I’m collecting more ideas and information on a long walk listening to a podcast, I’m picking up something from a question someone asks and weaving it into the work. That’s how my brain works and it works just fine.
One person’s “imperfection” is another person’s “works perfectly”. Giving the judge in my brain some time off deletes a lot of so-called imperfections.
This is terrific Barb, thank you.
I love this! I am going to share this with my daughter who is in high school and tells me all the time she waits last minute for assignments because it works for her. I will tell her “ mom gets it now”. I try to give her space and let her do it her way, but I also ask her to be done in time to get a good night sleep. Your post will help me to let her do her thing. Thank you
You’re very welcome, and my best to your daughter. High school is tough. It gets better.
More self love & less self-criticism. I needed this prompt today as this is something I often struggle with & often have a great deal of shame surrounding my imperfections. I hope that I can continue to grow and learn to embrace them.
What imperfections?😁
Too much Charlie T. Thanks for the chuckle.
Like many have said, they make me the quirky individual I am. My quirkiness may be someone else’s delight.
I never want my imperfections hurt another.
One’s perspective might shift… everyone is different – we need to all embrace those imperfections, it is what makes us unique and special.
Michele, first of all, there was a technology glitch when I was responding to you a couple hours ago. I did some testing replying to Josie on Deann’s answer, that went through. Glad that got resolved.
But anyways, your answer reminds me of my apology post from a few weeks ago when I received unanimous support in the responses, especially most importantly, from you. I immigrated to the US when I was 1.5yrs old with my family in the summer of 1993. Technically, English is my 2nd language. My autism plays a part in me being developmentally delayed. But however, I was able to take off at the right time with the proper resources.
I misunderstood the definition of sex and gender. My easiest explanation is that the former is outside, and the ladder refers to inside. Afterall, all types of people buy sneakers and listen to music. On a serious note put simply, “Each their own.” In detail, they are whatever gender they choose to identify with.
I appreciate your clarification Loc, thank you 🙂
No problem, Michele. Lets buy some sneakers, as the great Michael Jordan would say, from his original line of republicans buying sneakers.
Some of the funniest moments of my life come from my imperfections. And I wasn’t always able to see the humor that others saw in my imperfections. As I have mentioned before, I have come a long way on the road to getting over my perfectionism. Much to the relief of those who love me a lot!
At this point in time in my life, I don’t want to give energy to being perfect. So shifting away from that gives me more time for what’s truly important to me. And that is a lot more fun!
Many of you refer to our imperfections being qualities that make us unique, human, approachable. That is where I want to live.
Mary, I’m all too familiar with that coming from the Vietnamese culture. Once lessons have been learned, and everything becomes water under the bridge, the humor comes out no matter how intense the situation may feel in the heat of the moment.
I would have more self compassion and by doing so show my daughters that our imperfections make us special. I am healthy and fit yet have had about 20 pounds to lose for years. I struggle with my image but still workout almost everyday and eat healthy food…I also add the processed unhealthy goodies and I never turn away from a home baked treat. I am the least intimidating fitness instructor you will meet and honestly I think it is my imperfections that keep my classes full. Sort of, “ if she can do this so can I” During those moments I accept by imperfections. When I put on clothes….not so much/
Mentally and emotionally well I don’t think those imperfections will ever be fixed but I am learning to be me again after always meeting everyone else’s needs. And little by little I find those imperfections help create my story. The method of change or acceptance just adds to the plot.
The first thing I thought of was acceptance of my body as it is now, not as it was 20 or 30 or 40 years ago. I can look at it through perceptions completely formed by media and by companies trying to sell me things and see imperfection. Or I can look at it and see a body that has done amazing things and that is still doing amazing things every day just moving me around and tasting and enjoying food and using oxygen to fuel my movement. I don’t have to look at anything about me and see imperfection.
It’s a lot of work to overcome that early brainwashing though. I have found the writing of Virginia Sole Smith to be very helpful in shifting my thinking away from diet culture. Her newsletter Burnt Toast is great. A recent post on exercise seems to fit here. https://open.substack.com/pub/virginiasolesmith/p/who-decides-what-counts-as-exercise?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=2t69m
At this point in my life I really don’t want to have instruction from people who have the kind of bodies that tell me maintaining that appearance is a primary focus of their attention. I want to learn from people who have a more well-rounded life and that often means a more well-rounded body. I would like your class far more than one taught by an impossible ideal. Because what made it an ideal in the first place?!
Thank you so much Barb! I appreciate everything g you said and will read the newsletter!
Barb, Just yesterday while standing before stepping into the shower at the mirror, I noticed that my shoulders to hips bodily image has filled up the available frame of the mirror. After giving it some thought, I’ve decided that I need a new mirror!
Much of what you wrote about body image and meeting my own needs strikes a chord in me too, Deanne. Wish I could be in your fitness class.😉 Thanks for sharing.
Josie, my apologies for going off topic. I’m glad your response to Deann went through. I was trying to comment on Michele’s post around 8amcst. There was a technology glitch.
I’ve also just noticed that shorter responses work better too. Yesterday, I put a few paragraphs replying to Ngoc, and it worked just fine. It could possibly be a data issue. Who knows?
I’ve gotten in the habit of doing a copy of my answer before I hit submit just in case it vanishes into the void.
Thanks for your input, Barb. With this being a website, I’m sure you probably use the computer like a lot of people on this site do. I use the phone. That can make a difference. Phone users are at a greater risk for glitches. And FYI, I’m very happy my comment to Michele from this morning went through as if last checked now after waking up from a good nap for almost 2hrs.
Deann, I resignate with this as someone who’s a cross between the American and Vietnamese culture even with a mild case of autism and bipolar mania.
I’m with Laura – my energy would shift. I try to think of my so-called imperfections as what makes me “me,” but it’s not always easy.
Sunnapatti, I see where you’re coming from. We live in a society full of expectations. There’s only more to do within less time. Embracing imperfections takes work.
I think my energy would experience a boost. Always a good thing.
Laura, I’ve noticed that in myself too. A lot of positive surprises end up happening.