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What shifts when you accept and come to appreciate your imperfections is the self-nitpicking.
No longer do you perseverate on what is imperfect but begin to appreciate yourself more. There is now a different mental energy in yourself, a more peaceful and positive energy.
My own self love.
I think as I get older my imperfections do not bother me so much anymore. Everyone is unique in their own way. We are all God’s children and need to live and learn from our mistakes and try to be
better human beings
Wabi Sabi guides much of my creative work. The idea behind it is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. It is often described as one of appreciating beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete” in nature.
What might shift if I could cultivate greater appreciation for my imperfections?
I share a quote and my meditation on that quote to answer this question:
“There isn’t a problem that needs to be fixed. You’re perfect as you are right now—including all the self-judgments, fears, desires, and perceived problems you are experiencing in this moment…True healing always involves turning toward the present moment and accepting yourself is required to accept “what is.” Jeff Foster
When at a very young age, you are given the message that you have to be perfect or God will not love you, life becomes very difficult. That was the perspective I wrestled with well into my 50s because my perspective of self was colored by fear of failure. This led to anxiety in all situations so being appreciative and accepting my imperfections was not even an option. It took years of counseling and the wisdom of many mentors. Some were physically part of my life and some I only met in their writings, but thankfully, they all took residence in my head and helped me know the difference between worthiness and worth. Once I was convinced that I was of worth, the God of my understanding began to grow. S/HE was no longer a disciplinarian whose job was to find fault with every thing I attempted to do. S/HE became a rock I could lean on.
And over the years S/HE has evolved even more. These days, I am quite fond of the image of God as “The Lord of Life.” For me, S/HE is the one whose grace flows through creation and wants to flow in and through me and you. I have found that Life with a capital L is trustworthy when I can accept that “What is IS” and I have a lot to do with that fact.
It’s my current understanding that this Lord of Life has given all of creation “free will” and S/HE does not mess with it. When I pray now, I do not ask for something specific. I pray for wisdom about what ever is troubling me. From this process, I have realized that the gift of free will means my choices matter. I don’t have to die to experience heaven or hell because as part of creation, my species has free will we can muster that heaven or hell up ourselves.
I am in the Winter of my Life now and I’m experiencing the loss of some of my physical and mental capabilities. My first reaction to this was frustration and even anger. I thought of these changes as imperfections/liabilities until I realized that even they can ignite courage, compassion and connection in me. They can enhance my ability to love. “Greater appreciation” requires acceptance and in my experience, acceptance releases a lot of positive and life-giving energy. An energy that I use to waste on fretting!
I don’t know that I agree with Jeff Foster about being “perfect as I am right now” but I am content and willing to let go and let myself BE. The character of Colonel Potter in a TV episode of MASH sums it up for me, “If you ain’t where you’re at, you’re nowhere.” Granted sometimes that old fear rears its head, but I identify it, name it, and let it go. That’s a big shift for me.
Carol, I was raised for the first seven years in parochial school. I get the “need to be perfect” or your hell bound. At the least a good dose of purgatory. It took me a lot of reading about religions, the history of religions and time to find my peace from my early religious teaching by the Sisters of Notre Dame.
Joseph, The nuns really drilled the life-limiting message in and I hope before they passed from this world, someone or something helped them to question the man made dogma that convinced them that they were teaching the word of God. That said, there intentions were most likely well meant.
Thank you for the depth and candor in your post today, Carol.
Thank you again, Carol.
I identify with you.
I struggle with envy of other people’s good fortune. I myself have been blessed so I don’t understand the origin of this trait. It is as if their good fortune takes away from mine–now how silly is that??
Sometimes I feel the same, dear Linda.
Maybe a reason is hidden somewhere in our soul. But if we already have a lot of worries and loads to bear, let us slow down and think we are in the same boat. Human sharing mitigates our troubles.🌸
Thank you for this perspective, Anna. It helps.
When I acknowledge the imperfections in myself………….. I then find it easier to accept them in others……without making any judgement!
I have accepted my imperfections, but I have never attempted appreciating them. If I can appreciate my imperfections, I might be more accepting of all of myself. And if I’m more accepting of myself, maybe I’ll be more accepting and less judgmental of others, and if I’m less judgmental of others, maybe I can live with more equanimity.
I would stop expecting perfection in anything. This change in perception would expand my ability to appreciate the moment and ll that is in that moment. And confirm that perfection is only an idea, impermanent .
I might be able to accept all of me in an understanding and compassionate way.
This answer just popped in my mind…what wouldn’t! My entire world, everyone and everything i come in contact with..
I try to remember and move with the knowledge my imperfections are my uniqueness mark. They are the things that make me stand out and also relate to others.
I didnt appreciate a lot about myself much of my earlier life and adulthood. I can truly say remembering my imperfections are indeed beautiful helps me everyday. I cane be my worst critic.
Attitude. Imperfections make us unique, we need to embrace them. It is heart warming when I see that happen and also inspiring.
Thinking of this question in a totally different way, perhaps our imperfections help us know we need each other. What I can’t do someone else can and what I can do might be able to help someone else.
Echoing Michele – thanks Rabbit – what a great thought 🙂
love this, great way to look at it:)
My first reaction reading this, was “What, I need to change More?” Then smiled, knowing the Creator isn’t done molding and shaping me yet. I am beautifully made in the Creator’s eyes.
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