Reflections

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  1. Robin Ann

    I have many friends for life that I am grateful for. Most of my great friends do not live near me though. They are loyal, kind & thoughtful.
    Years may pass but our friendships remain very strong.

    2 months ago
  2. C
    Carissa Thomas

    I am grateful for friends to feel a mutual love and care for each other, to be a shoulder to cry on but to also cheer them on through their accomplishments. To be honest and vulnerable, to laugh together, and to trust them with your deepest secrets and fears.

    2 months ago
  3. Barb C

    This question made me smile because I’m fortunate to have several really wonderful friends, including my sister and my sister-in-law as well as best friends where I used to live and where I live now. Among many other special qualities that others are bound to list as important qualities they’re all “errand friends”: the kind of people who will say yes, they’d love to go along with you just to keep you company when you’re going to run some errands, not only spend time together when you’re doing something big or involving money or deep housecleaning. Heck, they’d all help me clean my house if I needed it, for that matter.
    Qualities we share: Time, laughter, listening, support, honesty.

    2 months ago
  4. bluesalamander

    Her extreme tolerance to my extreme flaws

    She also tells the truth doesn’t speak falsehoods to me

    Quiet and withdrawn yet able to be more social than I am in social settings complementary yet relatable to my extreme introversion

    2 months ago
  5. Don Jones

    It’s hard to go past the little kelpie girl (dog) in my life – a person’s best friend, they say. Our ‘bluetooth’ connection is very strong.

    2 months ago
  6. Dolores Kazanjian

    The primary one is being “straight” being “real.” Being honest about thoughts and feelings.
    Kindness, of course, a spiritual dimension, and ideally a sense of humor.
    Also smart, but not necessarily the good-at-school type smart. (I was good-at-school type smart and it doesn’t mean a thing except that I was good at school, which enabled me to get a part-time job as a professor.) Smart as in has a brain and skills (we all have our own skills) and uses them.
    It is interesting that no one here has mentioned compatibility politically, theologically, religiously ethnically, culturally. Not important to me, either.

    2 months ago
  7. Charlie T

    The qualities that I’m most grateful for
    in a friend? We’ll, this is an evolving
    subject. What I looked for and appreciated
    twenty years ago, are not the same things
    I’m grateful for now.
    I’m grateful when friends can be open and
    honest with me and I can share with them
    and trust them.

    2 months ago
  8. S
    Ana Maria

    What a wonderful question! I love my women group of friends, we have raised our children together and we continue to see each other as often as possible. Now that we are older ( Late 60’s) we still have so much to share and celebrate. We try to connect on our birthdays and celbrate each other. There was never any cometition or comparing of children. What a gift! We all have worked in community work, we are all givers so we try to remember that when sharing because all of us tend to want to jump in and help. How wonderful to have them in my life!

    2 months ago
  9. Pilgrim

    A good listener, kindness, sense of humor. When I moved here 2-3 years ago, I had to leave all my local/longtime friends behind. It has been difficult, for sure. There are a couple of people I connect with on and off, and on birthdays/holidays. We send occasional “hello, how are you” cards and such. I am most appreciative of friends who listen and remember.

    2 months ago
  10. Carol

    Kindness but always the willingness and vulnerability to be honest with me even when it is something I don’t wish to hear. I share a morning meditation I wrote in 2015 about a dear friend whose kindness, willingness and vulnerability helped process, accept and survive one of the most difficult truths about my own life.

    Morning Meditation May 4 2015 Friendship is More Than Friendliness

    “When you plant a seed of love, it is you that blossoms.” Ma Jaya Sati

    Henri Nouwen in his May 1, 2015 “Bread for the Journey” daily meditation, points out the fact that “We need friends. Friends guide us; care for us; confront us in love [and] console us in times of pain.”

    That said. When we expect one friend to have all we need, it is not friendship. Either we end up disappointed or the other person ends up resentful because at some point the friendship becomes dependence for one and burden for the other. I made the mistake of putting a dear friend of mine in this position. She finally had to withdraw her friendship from me. I had become too big of a burden. Though this happened many years ago, I still miss her but I understand why she did it.

    Sharing and caring is very different from neediness and neediness is very different from need. Our relationship started with mutual need. There was nothing we could not share with each other and there was total acceptance of it all but then I put her on a pedestal and made her my main source of strength. I was clingy and narcissistic.

    Granted my whole world had fallen down around me but friends can’t fix that. They can console us, even emotionally support and encourage us and physically shelter us if that is helpful but when we put them on a pedestal, when we forsake our own inner strength, we are not graciously accepting their help we are using them.

    I will always cherish that friend but I have no contact with her now. I honor her choice. I am very thankful she believed in me enough to do what was best for her and which I know today was best for me. She made me look within for the strength I needed. She refused to let me depend on her for what I needed to take responsibility for myself.

    I have learned from her. When in doubt, do what is best for you as she did and you will find that it is apparently what is best for the others in your life.
    To this day, I cherish and give thanks for her friendship.

    2 months ago
    1. S
      Ana Maria

      How powerful Carol! How I wish your friend could read this testament from you these many years later. It is so hard when we are in crisis and in survival mode, to see the light and wisdom of our future selves. I am so gald she was in your life when you needed her. Thank you for sharing this raw answer to the the question of the day. Blessing to you on this Holy week.

      2 months ago
  11. Yram

    I don’t have one friend that embodies the qualities I am grateful for. I do have certain folks that I call on for laughter, confider, cheer leader, chit chatter, politcal adviser, and spiritual guide. Many of them are longtime friends.

    2 months ago
  12. Renee Murphy

    I am an introvert so it is easy to have my husband as my best friend as we are very compatible and with him I feel heard, seen and safe. I also work hard to keep other women friends relationships alive. It is hard because we don’t live next door and our lives are busy however I value and prioritize making time with them. I value the conversation, the perspective, the shared experiences in life and the differences as well. I never had many friends as a child and I find myself now with a group of friends that while we don’t see each other frequently I know that they are out there and would take my call and listen to me if I ever needed them. I value that connection.

    2 months ago
    1. Robin Ann

      Hello & Welcome!

      2 months ago
    2. Michele

      Welcome Renee – this is an awesome Community 🙂

      2 months ago
    3. Joseph McCann

      Welcome Renee and little one.

      2 months ago
    4. S
      Ana Maria

      Beautiful profile picture! Welcome to this incredible community of kind souls. Keep making connections, so important for the journey of life.

      2 months ago
    5. Avril

      Welcome Renee, I haven’t noticed you pose here before. I am glad you’re here.

      2 months ago
      1. Renee Murphy

        Thank you! I just joined the community!

        2 months ago
  13. Antoinette

    Loving kindness, generosity, and understanding are great qualities!

    2 months ago
  14. Avril

    I have several really good girlfriends–one stands out a little more than the others (don’t tell them). I am an extrovert and my BFFs, and my husband, are more on the quiet/introverted side. None of us are extreme poles. I can become very introverted and they are not wallflowers. Nevertheless, I feel balance when I with them. My closest girlfriends are very spiritual people–we don’t necessarily believe or practice the same things. Nonetheless, my confidants deeply believe in something. We are all adventurous. But, weirdly enough, I can be a homebody. These friends inspire me to travel and explore. We challenge each other to try new things. We always introduce new healthy habits and ideas to each other. Lastly, we need each other; but, we are not needy. If we don’t talk for a while, it’s OK. But, when we need to talk often, we do. Oh, and they are all fabulous dancers!

    2 months ago
  15. J
    John

    One of my best friends is funny, intelligent, forgiving, and a good listener. Of course these are qualities that my wife of 19 years have as well, and I think likely why I can say 19 years.

    I do have a friend from college who lives in another state. We have only re-connected in the last three or four years, and we almost were able to pick up where we left off, even in the face of our recent political upheavals. He is active in that phase of life, not I, and though we do not share ideas in that realm, our common bond from our college and several post-college years have paid off in a renewed friendship.

    2 months ago
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