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Yes, I struggle, as I’m sure we all do. How about my insecurity around finances, or maybe my anxiety in general. These things nag at me and I’m sure there’s a lesson. An opportunity to grow. But really, the best I can do, is think about these things as opportunities to put to practice the things that I am learning. This could be considered growth, I guess. Certainly better than my previous habit of avoidance and distraction.
My loneliness is offering me the opportunity to reflect and rediscover who I am apart from the roles and behaviors that have defined me in the past. It’s giving me the space to let go of the old versions of myself and allowing me to grow into the person I want to be.
Loneliness
is a great teacher,
dear Antonia . . .
I too,
sometimes suffer this,
even in the midst of ‘enough’.
It is through loneliness
that we often find ourselves . . .
keep walking through . . . ♥
A sense of frustration is allowing me the opportunity to grow. Old frustration, new frustration, individual and collective frustration–all are kindling to feed the fire of sustained vitality, of warmly determined action. Let the fires burn too hot and you burn out. Attempt to snuff them and you end up smoldered or stifled. There’s an alchemy to fire, an opportunity to galvanize and channel it, and the growth is in familiarizing myself with this sensation.
Love the imagery!
I’ll be returning home today, and Ngoc will be back in Minnesota next Tuesday. Not only have these times helped me become more resilient, it’s tested my adaptability as well by being able to receive care different from the way I’m use to or prefer. Most importantly, it perfectly plays into my strategical rebellion. The dots are becoming more aligned for me to design my life to my likings. That’s one of the major rewards for expecting nothing in return.
Nothing can replace god. Anything that comes from him is natural. Nature is the best. Not only that, even some of my parent’s friends, surprisingly, have taken noticed and are impressed with my strategical rebellious mastermind as well.
I’m not too surprised. It’s a matter of learning about the culture. Observe to participate. This speeds up the blending process and makes it feel natural. Observation is my foundation, but that can be misinterpreted as string-pulling in collective cultures. Intimacy is one big core value which is incompatible with mine in autonomy.
Obedience is the key to rebellion. Give conforming appearance, but sneakily bring up the new ounces. It’s why I’m careful about sharing anything strategical related. I call it “Elite Information.” Elite information stays in Vegas. Curruption is the last thing we need. This is where building from the root and detaching from our ways help.
Loc, I like to learn about Asian/collective cultures from your posts. When you write that observation can be interpreted as string-pulling, is that because a certain level of participation is demanded, or a certain type of participation? I always thought extroverted cultures like Americans didn’t observe enough, instead prioritizing being the loudest talker, so I’m curious about this other experience you describe. Also, your last paragraph reminds me of the book “The 48 Laws of Power.” Interesting read for sure.
Drea, I see where you’re going with this. American influences have spread around the globe. These traditional cultures have also allowed insecurity to get the best of them.
Where I’m going with this is that in collective Asian cultures, one’s duty is to honor the family and culture’s reputation to the highest order. In these cultures, it’s family of families. The environment can feel pushy and judgemental. It’s why observation can be interpreted as overthinking, string-pulling, and isolation. As for America, we’re really good at media manipulation and personal gain which is why we’re able to get to the top.
The struggle with the monkey in my mind. He took up residence in the addicted room of my psyche. The struggles are sporadic, but still a part of me. My hay meadows are growing good. Almost done irrigating the fourth time. I will cut at the end of the month. The light snowpack is gone and the river is dropping fast. I knew going in to the season that I would get one cutting for sure. If the southwestern monsoon is not productive……….then the dreaded “D” word comes into play. My lovely wife Cheryl and her siblings were gifted a decent sum of cash from their father. Cash he had collected over the years from hay that he sold for cash. Now my wife is fretting over her windfall. All of these small situations I can struggle with and make them problems, or I can stay present and realize I have no problem right “now”. Staying present, being ever grateful with presence for this present of a new day seems to be the stance that has kept me from trying to shoot that damn monkey out of the branches he so likes to swing on. Instead, invite him into my lap and calm him down. Peace. love and may all grow from life’s struggles.
“The struggle with the monkey in my mind. He took up residence in the addicted room of my psyche. The struggles are sporadic, but still a part of me.” I get it.
We are taking about two months to complete the estate sale of my mother-in-law who passed in April. So…
We leave the desert, drive to the midwest, and live in her house while we take care of her last things.
The monkey won’t leave me either.
Any struggle, whether work, mental, physical,relationships, etc. offers opportunities to grow in strength and leaning on positivity to get through them.
Have a good day everyone 🙂 Loving kindness to all who need it.
I think we all need loving kindness,
dear Michele,
don’t you?
Sending some your way . . . ♥
I agree that all struggles are opportunities to grow. Have a good day, too, Michele.
I struggle to keep a balance between reading, responding to justice information, actions and being in touch with that still point where I m fully aware of God’s presence, beauty and goodness in the world.
There’s an opportunity via my employment before me. I’ve worked in my own cubical space for over 5 years. Prior to that I worked directing two drop in centers with a minimally shared space for a total of 16 years. The company will be moving to a new space soon. I’ll be assigned to a shared communal cube. Regardless of being an extrovert, I like defined boundary “spaces” at work. I’ll see the space next week and have been working on my attitude already. A bigger work space with more direct sunlight isn’t “woo-ing” me. Yes, I’m grateful to be employed, and this change of space is a big adjustment. It’s not my style to be a whiner.
Carla, when I read your post, I recalled the ample evidence that open offices didn’t turn out to be as beneficial as originally imagined. You’re not alone in wanting boundaried spaces. I hope the situation evolves in a way that works out for everyone.
Carla, being in an uncomfortable work space can definitely be a challenge. I’m wondering how the other people in your work space are feeling. Perhaps a conversation about each one’s needs and adjustment struggles
would be helpful. I pray it will work out to be
a peaceful place for you.