Unexpected, something feels becoming smoother, softer inside and around, fixed inner and outer perspectives seem to move, giving way to possibly turn again to unsolved relational problems. As these were unsolved despite my facing them since long and worked with it to get to change this after all might either be an illusion or unexpected this possibly might be an option. Another theme is to open up to creativity in mind and act and letting go of fixed mind´s perspectives, which suddenly seems to be possible also. So currently and unexpected several fields of possible unfolding show up and it feels freeing to possibly get to move some of these felt limitations.
My daughter was miraculously accepted to a longer term (90 days) mental health and addiction program after needing heart surgery a week ago Friday. Her doctor was advising for this to happen but many facilities said no, too close to post op. If this didn’t come thru then I would have needed to fly her here and figure it out but that would have been a nightmare too. I prayed so hard for help and thank goodness my prayers were answered. Now I can breathe again and concentrate on my well being since this has just been extremely overwhelming. I had to stay strong for my daughter & advocate for her needs. I am SO happy the nightmare is turning into perhaps a very hopeful journey for her. Luckily I picked the right health plan for her February 1 and that I have that strong knowledge of medical Benefit plans!!
And so evening came in my part of the world. I look at my mother, who is 89 years old, and I wonder if she will soon repeat her experience, what she experienced 85 years ago as a child in Warsaw. Politics, money and a whole lot of rights, reasons… Oh yes, tonight it becomes my point of reference, my challenge, my struggle and I face powerlessness, I face acceptance of reality, I face the silence of the world…, maybe it’s just too much news from this part of the world.
Dear Beata, Holding you in thought and prayer at this time. And, your news is not too much news, it’s news that is your day and world and I’m pleased that you felt able to share it. Sometimes just saying aloud what hurts and where the struggles are, somehow, makes all that’s heavy just a wee bit easier.
As I have written before, it is mainly health issues. But these struggles have left me in a far better space: more peaceful, more compassionate, more grateful, more resilient.
Another struggle is that my husband has undergone personality changes, and not for the better. But this, too, has enabled me to practice compassion and strength.
The other main struggle is watching the world go to h— in a hand basket I cannot be the activist I once was, but I do what I can. I live in the Congressional district of the infamous George Santos. I really pushed myself to get out and vote, including asking for (and getting) help to get to the polls, but vote I did.
Dolores…you are a hero. Doing what you can despite your challenges. Thank you for voting. We must continue to hold on to the belief that every “little” thing we do can make a difference. I struggle myself with holding on to hope.
Blessings to you and your husband. 🙏🙏
Looking at my physical limitations due to age and medical reasons I am learning to accept where I am at this present time of my life and to focus on what I can do and be grateful.
I haven’t responded much here lately, I guess because I don’t find exact answers that fit. But in an effort to answer the above question … First, maybe my struggles are generally offering me chances for growth all the time. Opportunities to grow seem bundled up with constant pain in my hand/wrist. I had the thumb/first finger/wrist operated on a few years ago which helped with use of my right hand/wrist. Now there is the same struggle on my left hand/wrist. It is very painful, but to have this surgery again is hardly calling my name.. “I’m old and tired” as someone recently said in a movie I was watching. I have been dependent on my hands/wrists for so long, as a musician, a writer, teacher and especially as a mother. What does one do when weary of pain, and weary of the fight? I don’t drive much anymore because of this. I drive to the beach, though, in season! It is a mile down the road, and I am “counting the days” for the season to bring me back to that gift. In the meantime, I enjoy my backyard in every season, filled with various wildlife and their antics. Life is a gift, and I am grateful to be here.
I too am grateful you are here Pilgrim. I honor your struggle to live with chronic, long-term pain. And I will count the days with you until you once again are back at the beach. I understand that pull….it is indeed a very special gift. I was, and always will be, a “beach baby”. 🙂
Blessings to you my friend. 🙏 Namaste.
Thank you so much, my friend. Connecting with you this day is such a gift, and a reminder that Hope and Gratitude have not “left the building.” May you be well, and “all manner of things” be well with you and yours.
Oh yes, life is a gift, and I thank you that You are here. I hope that I will enjoy life even if the world goes completely wrong for a while. Be above and go to the beach. You know, the beach is the dream of many people… I send you my hugs
And I am grateful you are here, my friend. Holding you in prayer and thought and hoping for some relief from the pain, your experience does not sound easy at all to cope with. And, beach YES, bring it on, the sooner the better. We walk the beach in the winter time as well, but can’t wait for warmer weather!
I can relate. I, too, have a number of age-related health issues and there are many times when I want to give up. The key is in your last words: we just have to be grateful for each breath we take and each moment we are given to dwell on this planet.
I am of two minds here regarding today’s question:
First, using myself as an example, I struggle with elevated pain levels and managing them every day. I have yet to see the opportunity in this. There are untold numbers of people who suffer mightily and live their lives the best way they can, where “opportunities” are nowhere in sight and not to be had, full stop. Now and then we get daily questions, like today’s in my view, that smack, however unintended, when we ponder them carefully as potentially insensitive for how these words fall upon people whose daily goal isn’t about “growing” but surviving to live another day.
Secondly, what’s grown for me over the last two years as a person living with Non-radiographic Spondyloarthritis, is my knowledge of how to live my best life from being in a support group with others living, and living well, with the same diagnosis.
Kevin, my husband lives with near constant back pain, and there seemingly is nothing doctors can do about it. It has severely disrupted his life (and mine) as we were very active before this started 4 years ago. It is hard to watch him suffer. I wish for you some pain free hours or days so you can still enjoy your life.
I would say it’s the innate intelligence. As a student studying science, the most crucial aspect in this field is problem-solving skills. However, I don’t see myself as having such innate intelligence for it. Nevertheless, I know for sure that struggling has offered me another opportunity: to find my own way and work harder than others to achieve my goal.
It feels like all experiences offer
opportunity to grow. But in my experience,
the more critical the struggle, the more
growth is possible. Right now, I would
say, inertia, is my most critical struggle.
Being disciplined and continuing to
move forward is a challenge. I guess the
opportunity is to dig deeper into my
habit of resisting. The “why” of my
tendency to cling to things and ideas.
The uncertainty of the future with medical, financial, ecological, political, and spiritual issues. The opportunities for growth are capabilities of hope, and trust.
For me, I am struggling with acceptance. I’ve come to realize I fantasize a lot throughout the day about what I could do, what I am capable of. But I also don’t believe in myself. I feel stuck, so I come up with scenarios in my head to make myself feel better, not being fully present and accepting of this moment. This past month and a half have been extremely difficult, but I know all I can do is give myself compassion. It’s hard at times, but I know I am deserving of love and kindness.
The yogis describe the fantasizing as a source of our own suffering. It’s ironic, we fantasize because we are suffering, then we suffer because the fantasy does nothing to help us in the current situation. The aphorism “lean into the sharp edge” helps me. We just have to be where we are and work through that experience—hopefully with full presence of mind because we aren’t daydreaming—and look for the lessons.
Currently I am estranged from my adult children. This estrangement has led me back to Jesus and I know that is a great thing! I am also learning how to be more compassionate and less controlling over others. I do try every day to be a follower of Jesus and encourage others without judgement (that’s tough, isn’t it?) and to let it GO for situations I cannot control.
My step-mother has now been transferred from the hospital to a Hospice Facility. My daughter flies in today, my brother later in the week.
Any struggles I have I am grateful that I am with family now.
Michele…I understand your gratefulness through this hard time. When my own mother was transported from hospital to hospice, I experienced the miracle of having our whole family there, even though we all lived in different parts of the country. By the miracle of divine grace, we all managed to arrive and be there together when she died.
You have brought back memories for me and I will remember you all in my evening prayers. 🙏
Om Shanti Michele….peace, peace.
Michele, your post reminds me of the power of mantra. Unlike prayer, it does not ask for anything. It claims it. I love the mantra: “I am calm.” And for this I have no doubt. I am calm at my core. It’s the egoic mind that jumps from past to future and struggles with being present that blinds me and so I remind myself that “I am calm.”
I am struggling with changing an addictive behavior. I am making progress mentally and physically day by day- but sometimes it is hour to hour. With the release of this behavior comes lightness, and happiness. No more guilt for doing something that I know is not good for me. RIght now- as my dear adopted Mom would say…”You are Number One…take care of yourself”. And so the story goes..one foot in front of the other.
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Unexpected, something feels becoming smoother, softer inside and around, fixed inner and outer perspectives seem to move, giving way to possibly turn again to unsolved relational problems. As these were unsolved despite my facing them since long and worked with it to get to change this after all might either be an illusion or unexpected this possibly might be an option. Another theme is to open up to creativity in mind and act and letting go of fixed mind´s perspectives, which suddenly seems to be possible also. So currently and unexpected several fields of possible unfolding show up and it feels freeing to possibly get to move some of these felt limitations.
My daughter was miraculously accepted to a longer term (90 days) mental health and addiction program after needing heart surgery a week ago Friday. Her doctor was advising for this to happen but many facilities said no, too close to post op. If this didn’t come thru then I would have needed to fly her here and figure it out but that would have been a nightmare too. I prayed so hard for help and thank goodness my prayers were answered. Now I can breathe again and concentrate on my well being since this has just been extremely overwhelming. I had to stay strong for my daughter & advocate for her needs. I am SO happy the nightmare is turning into perhaps a very hopeful journey for her. Luckily I picked the right health plan for her February 1 and that I have that strong knowledge of medical Benefit plans!!
Thoughts of compassion and kindness to you and yours, Robin Ann.
And so evening came in my part of the world. I look at my mother, who is 89 years old, and I wonder if she will soon repeat her experience, what she experienced 85 years ago as a child in Warsaw. Politics, money and a whole lot of rights, reasons… Oh yes, tonight it becomes my point of reference, my challenge, my struggle and I face powerlessness, I face acceptance of reality, I face the silence of the world…, maybe it’s just too much news from this part of the world.
Beata, you are stronger than you know. Holding you and your people in my heart and mind.
Dear Beata, Holding you in thought and prayer at this time. And, your news is not too much news, it’s news that is your day and world and I’m pleased that you felt able to share it. Sometimes just saying aloud what hurts and where the struggles are, somehow, makes all that’s heavy just a wee bit easier.
Thinking of you and wishing you peace for you and your Mother!
God bless you and your mother Beata and all in your country.
As I have written before, it is mainly health issues. But these struggles have left me in a far better space: more peaceful, more compassionate, more grateful, more resilient.
Another struggle is that my husband has undergone personality changes, and not for the better. But this, too, has enabled me to practice compassion and strength.
The other main struggle is watching the world go to h— in a hand basket I cannot be the activist I once was, but I do what I can. I live in the Congressional district of the infamous George Santos. I really pushed myself to get out and vote, including asking for (and getting) help to get to the polls, but vote I did.
Dolores…you are a hero. Doing what you can despite your challenges. Thank you for voting. We must continue to hold on to the belief that every “little” thing we do can make a difference. I struggle myself with holding on to hope.
Blessings to you and your husband. 🙏🙏
Looking at my physical limitations due to age and medical reasons I am learning to accept where I am at this present time of my life and to focus on what I can do and be grateful.
I haven’t responded much here lately, I guess because I don’t find exact answers that fit. But in an effort to answer the above question … First, maybe my struggles are generally offering me chances for growth all the time. Opportunities to grow seem bundled up with constant pain in my hand/wrist. I had the thumb/first finger/wrist operated on a few years ago which helped with use of my right hand/wrist. Now there is the same struggle on my left hand/wrist. It is very painful, but to have this surgery again is hardly calling my name.. “I’m old and tired” as someone recently said in a movie I was watching. I have been dependent on my hands/wrists for so long, as a musician, a writer, teacher and especially as a mother. What does one do when weary of pain, and weary of the fight? I don’t drive much anymore because of this. I drive to the beach, though, in season! It is a mile down the road, and I am “counting the days” for the season to bring me back to that gift. In the meantime, I enjoy my backyard in every season, filled with various wildlife and their antics. Life is a gift, and I am grateful to be here.
I too am grateful you are here Pilgrim. I honor your struggle to live with chronic, long-term pain. And I will count the days with you until you once again are back at the beach. I understand that pull….it is indeed a very special gift. I was, and always will be, a “beach baby”. 🙂
Blessings to you my friend. 🙏 Namaste.
Thank you so much, my friend. Connecting with you this day is such a gift, and a reminder that Hope and Gratitude have not “left the building.” May you be well, and “all manner of things” be well with you and yours.
Oh yes, life is a gift, and I thank you that You are here. I hope that I will enjoy life even if the world goes completely wrong for a while. Be above and go to the beach. You know, the beach is the dream of many people… I send you my hugs
And I am grateful you are here, my friend. Holding you in prayer and thought and hoping for some relief from the pain, your experience does not sound easy at all to cope with. And, beach YES, bring it on, the sooner the better. We walk the beach in the winter time as well, but can’t wait for warmer weather!
I can relate. I, too, have a number of age-related health issues and there are many times when I want to give up. The key is in your last words: we just have to be grateful for each breath we take and each moment we are given to dwell on this planet.
PIlgrim…and we are grateful to have you share here.
I am of two minds here regarding today’s question:
First, using myself as an example, I struggle with elevated pain levels and managing them every day. I have yet to see the opportunity in this. There are untold numbers of people who suffer mightily and live their lives the best way they can, where “opportunities” are nowhere in sight and not to be had, full stop. Now and then we get daily questions, like today’s in my view, that smack, however unintended, when we ponder them carefully as potentially insensitive for how these words fall upon people whose daily goal isn’t about “growing” but surviving to live another day.
Secondly, what’s grown for me over the last two years as a person living with Non-radiographic Spondyloarthritis, is my knowledge of how to live my best life from being in a support group with others living, and living well, with the same diagnosis.
My teacher calls it “spiritual malpractice” when we say, “what can you learn from this”.
Wow! “spiritual malpractice” Perfectly stated with just two words! Thank you, Avril.
I’ve heard it called “toxic positivity”. I have to be careful with that, especially with my daughters, as I am a chronic “fixer”
Thanks for your answer, Kevin and thanks for being here.
Kevin, my husband lives with near constant back pain, and there seemingly is nothing doctors can do about it. It has severely disrupted his life (and mine) as we were very active before this started 4 years ago. It is hard to watch him suffer. I wish for you some pain free hours or days so you can still enjoy your life.
More than I asked for
I would say it’s the innate intelligence. As a student studying science, the most crucial aspect in this field is problem-solving skills. However, I don’t see myself as having such innate intelligence for it. Nevertheless, I know for sure that struggling has offered me another opportunity: to find my own way and work harder than others to achieve my goal.
It feels like all experiences offer
opportunity to grow. But in my experience,
the more critical the struggle, the more
growth is possible. Right now, I would
say, inertia, is my most critical struggle.
Being disciplined and continuing to
move forward is a challenge. I guess the
opportunity is to dig deeper into my
habit of resisting. The “why” of my
tendency to cling to things and ideas.
The uncertainty of the future with medical, financial, ecological, political, and spiritual issues. The opportunities for growth are capabilities of hope, and trust.
For me, I am struggling with acceptance. I’ve come to realize I fantasize a lot throughout the day about what I could do, what I am capable of. But I also don’t believe in myself. I feel stuck, so I come up with scenarios in my head to make myself feel better, not being fully present and accepting of this moment. This past month and a half have been extremely difficult, but I know all I can do is give myself compassion. It’s hard at times, but I know I am deserving of love and kindness.
The yogis describe the fantasizing as a source of our own suffering. It’s ironic, we fantasize because we are suffering, then we suffer because the fantasy does nothing to help us in the current situation. The aphorism “lean into the sharp edge” helps me. We just have to be where we are and work through that experience—hopefully with full presence of mind because we aren’t daydreaming—and look for the lessons.
Currently I am estranged from my adult children. This estrangement has led me back to Jesus and I know that is a great thing! I am also learning how to be more compassionate and less controlling over others. I do try every day to be a follower of Jesus and encourage others without judgement (that’s tough, isn’t it?) and to let it GO for situations I cannot control.
My step-mother has now been transferred from the hospital to a Hospice Facility. My daughter flies in today, my brother later in the week.
Any struggles I have I am grateful that I am with family now.
Thank you everyone. All your responses touch me deeply. Much love to all of you.
Kindness and compassion to you and yours, Michele.
Thinking to you Michele during this difficult time. Glad you have family with you.
Michele…I understand your gratefulness through this hard time. When my own mother was transported from hospital to hospice, I experienced the miracle of having our whole family there, even though we all lived in different parts of the country. By the miracle of divine grace, we all managed to arrive and be there together when she died.
You have brought back memories for me and I will remember you all in my evening prayers. 🙏
Om Shanti Michele….peace, peace.
Michele, your post reminds me of the power of mantra. Unlike prayer, it does not ask for anything. It claims it. I love the mantra: “I am calm.” And for this I have no doubt. I am calm at my core. It’s the egoic mind that jumps from past to future and struggles with being present that blinds me and so I remind myself that “I am calm.”
Holding all of you in prayer and light, Michele.
I am struggling with changing an addictive behavior. I am making progress mentally and physically day by day- but sometimes it is hour to hour. With the release of this behavior comes lightness, and happiness. No more guilt for doing something that I know is not good for me. RIght now- as my dear adopted Mom would say…”You are Number One…take care of yourself”. And so the story goes..one foot in front of the other.
Amen to that but sometimes it is such a struggle and we get stuck. I appreciate that you wrote this. Thank you!
Nannette, Yes, one step at a time.
Blessings to you Nannette, may you embrace the power within you as you continue in your journey of change. Yes, you are number one and you are loved.