When I went to the grocery store a few weeks ago,
I noticed that customers were wandering around,
looking confused.
I soon discovered why . . .
over the weekend
the store had been completely rearranged,
and nothing
was where I thought it would be.
I and the other customers
were flummoxed,
all in the same boat.
People began connecting with each other,
sharing complaints about the change
and asking if anyone knew where they moved the coffee to,
the salt,
the bread,
the pet food.
Once the shock wore off
it was actually pretty funny.
We were all a flock of sheep,
stumbling around in new pastures,
knocked off-kilter by the change.
I realized in those moments
that most of us really don’t like change,
especially unexpected change.
My first husband
told me that I clung like the devil to stasis,
then pointed out to me
that if change hadn’t been made
the result
could have been extremely unsatisfactory–
painful, even.
He was right,
and although change is still often very difficult for me,
I bow to his wisdom in this instance,
and carry that knowledge with me
wherever I go.
It supports me when I doubt . . .
it helps . . .
it really does. ♥
What supports me to be open to change is other people’s ideas!
I can only change if I am presented with views other than my own, so the more people I interact with, the more ideas I process, the more change is possible.
Since I am not God, and do not have the fullness of truth, I am always open-or at least I think I am open to change. It is Grace that allows me to be open and then to change.
The fact that I have finally reached a place where I understand that the only thing permanent in life is change. NOW is all we ever have. What is IS. What can I learn from my life situation? I am of worth. The definition of responsibility is the ability to respond. God is Isness. If I am in the past or future, I go there alone. The strength I need is Here Now.
I seem to resist change no matter what. It does no good, obviously.
I like what Charlie said about loosening his grip on control so he can sit with what is. I am facing a major challenge with my husband’s continued decline, and it is certainly not something I can control. Better to breathe and let go, one moment at a time. What other choice is there, really?
When I can loosen my grip on control, or the fiction of control, and I can sit with what is, or I can surrender to the universe and trust that change may be good, bad, or otherwise, I can be open to change.
I have resisted and feared change my whole life, and
it is something that I have thought about and tried to process. I’m getting better. Sitting here on a cool Sunday morning, I am open to whatever is in store for me today. Good, bad, or otherwise.
I hope you all have a wonderful day. 🙏
Charlie, it’s just like me when I can be obedient. My autonomy strengthens. Obedience helps me accept change, because I know my people just want what’s best for me.
I’ve witnessed, been subject to, and enacted a lot of active resistance to change. It’s painful. Fear of change is natural, and maybe resistance to change is automatic. Sometimes change isn’t beneficial, and you want to protect yourself. But a reflexive, active resistance to change, all and any change, becomes controlling, narrow-minded, and manipulative. I know that reality all too well. So let’s say having seen the opposite keeps me open.
Drea, we’re similar on the surface. Going deeper, my issues from what you described is fear of being controlled by others even out of goodwill and incompatibilities. Autonomy is my basic desires. As you mentioned the opposite, I need to learn to follow orders like I was good at when I was a child which I’m getting better. Again, it all points back to letting go of agendas.
What supports me is praying the Serenity Prayer, and asking Sophia (Holy Spirit) for guidance. Sometimes I still have to have a cathartic “Why?” either shared with a friend or in my journal then I can laugh about it. The Universe is leading the way. Peace this Sunday☮️ to all.
I too think listening is helpful if I or others are to change. Some of my most important conversations have happened when I have said very little, but the other person has spoken deeply.
What supports me is the knowledge that not all change is bad, that new ways of doing things or different circumstances might actually be better for me as I age. Change teaches me how to maintain my emotional balance. Kind of like surfing.
Your surfing analogy is wonderful. I can envision surfing through change.
It seems to me that even changes that are clearly bad on the surface offer some opportunity, maybe an unexpected challenge to recover balance and regain momentum in life.
Listening opens me to change. My dad was a great listener. I fail sometimes but I try to listen openly and learn- when I do that sometimes I change my mind, sometimes I just respect the other’s point of view. Sometimes I think they are “off their rocker” but can still respect them. Also just listening to myself, God and the universe. I don’t mean listening to ego but listening to the part behind it heart? Soul? The one that says wait, be honest with yourself.
What a gift to have a parent who was a great listener. Your comment on listening to the part behind ego is so important and a great reminder for me as I go through my day. Thanks Deann.
Dieng, you just touched on something important. I’m flattered when Ngoc praises me for being a good listener. I’m happy that my gentleness makes her feel like she’s being cared and also makes me feel valued. This brings me to integrity I’ve talked about before in many of my answers.
To go further, great listening requires setting aside agendas. Now, this is where I struggle, because like I said when commenting on Christina’s answer, I’ve run through walls for autonomy. Setting aside agendas will help us develope: connection, empathy, love, and compassion.
For one, reminding myself that change is inevitable. It’s going to happen no matter what. Also knowing that I have no control over a lot of what is changing, so it’s the practice of acceptance, as others have mentioned.
Hoping Joseph is okay… don’t think I’ve seen him for a few days.
I have been fine and composing a reflection each day and drinking tea while reading everyone’s reflections. I think my choice of a word to describe food shows has temporarily banned me from posting. I contacted the Grateful Living crew and their reply was 3 to 5 business days to read e-mails to them. I think it was 10/1.
I remember the post, Joseph, but I don’t remember anything objectionable about it.???🤔🤷♀️🫤😵💫 I would ask you what the word was, but I don’t want to get you banned again. 😬 Oh, my my my. Facebook banned me once for changing my name. They said I might be impersonating someone. I was insulted. 😐 With all the mean posts allowed on Facebook, they decided to ban me. For at least 6 weeks. We know how wonderful the people here at the Gratefulness website are, so I would be interested in hearing what they would say about this.
Glad to see you back, dear Joseph!!! ♥️♥️♥️
I know the word you speak of,
dear Joseph,
and I was temporarily banned
(for one night,
I believe),
for using the word s_x
in a completely innocent sentence.
Perhaps the team
can’t always keep up with the forum
personally . . .
In any case,
dear Joseph,
I am happy you have made your way back to us. ♥
Oh no! I recall what you said, and while it wasn’t a big deal, I guess the world of the internet looks for particular words… ugh.
But glad you are okay and hope you get your full access back soon!!
Many changes in my life are unpredictable and beyond my control. The most important thing I can manage is my attitude. Whether I accept it or not, change will come anyway. So I ask myself: Why don’t I accept it peacefully?
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The knowing that Universal Love guides all fate and that no one can ever get lost.
I guess knowing change is a given. Learning to adapt.
When I went to the grocery store a few weeks ago,
I noticed that customers were wandering around,
looking confused.
I soon discovered why . . .
over the weekend
the store had been completely rearranged,
and nothing
was where I thought it would be.
I and the other customers
were flummoxed,
all in the same boat.
People began connecting with each other,
sharing complaints about the change
and asking if anyone knew where they moved the coffee to,
the salt,
the bread,
the pet food.
Once the shock wore off
it was actually pretty funny.
We were all a flock of sheep,
stumbling around in new pastures,
knocked off-kilter by the change.
I realized in those moments
that most of us really don’t like change,
especially unexpected change.
My first husband
told me that I clung like the devil to stasis,
then pointed out to me
that if change hadn’t been made
the result
could have been extremely unsatisfactory–
painful, even.
He was right,
and although change is still often very difficult for me,
I bow to his wisdom in this instance,
and carry that knowledge with me
wherever I go.
It supports me when I doubt . . .
it helps . . .
it really does. ♥
Thanks for the thoughts. It comforted me as I feel confused etc. Since the death of Joe.
I am grateful,
dear Yram,
that something I wrote
helped . . .
I think you will find help
from many hearts who love you . . . ♥
What supports me to be open to change is other people’s ideas!
I can only change if I am presented with views other than my own, so the more people I interact with, the more ideas I process, the more change is possible.
Since I am not God, and do not have the fullness of truth, I am always open-or at least I think I am open to change. It is Grace that allows me to be open and then to change.
The fact that I have finally reached a place where I understand that the only thing permanent in life is change. NOW is all we ever have. What is IS. What can I learn from my life situation? I am of worth. The definition of responsibility is the ability to respond. God is Isness. If I am in the past or future, I go there alone. The strength I need is Here Now.
“If I am in the past or future, I go there alone. The strength I need is Here Now.”
Thank you, Carol Ann.
“The definition of responsibility is the ability to respond.”
I love this so much.
Thank you 🙏
Well said,
dear Carol Ann . . . ♥
God is Isness. Like that!
I seem to resist change no matter what. It does no good, obviously.
I like what Charlie said about loosening his grip on control so he can sit with what is. I am facing a major challenge with my husband’s continued decline, and it is certainly not something I can control. Better to breathe and let go, one moment at a time. What other choice is there, really?
Thanks to all of you for being here. Namaste.
This must be so hard for you and your husband, dear Linda.
I hold you both in my heart.
Just having experienced the death of my husband, I will hold you in a very special way .
♥
Prayers for you both and a hug.
Linda I just listened to a podcast with Oprah and Bruce Willis’s wife. You might get something out of it our her book.
When I can loosen my grip on control, or the fiction of control, and I can sit with what is, or I can surrender to the universe and trust that change may be good, bad, or otherwise, I can be open to change.
I have resisted and feared change my whole life, and
it is something that I have thought about and tried to process. I’m getting better. Sitting here on a cool Sunday morning, I am open to whatever is in store for me today. Good, bad, or otherwise.
I hope you all have a wonderful day. 🙏
“The fiction of control”…. that’s all it really is….
Yes, willingness, surrender, “the fiction of control” Wishing you a wonderful day, too.
Charlie, it’s just like me when I can be obedient. My autonomy strengthens. Obedience helps me accept change, because I know my people just want what’s best for me.
I’ve witnessed, been subject to, and enacted a lot of active resistance to change. It’s painful. Fear of change is natural, and maybe resistance to change is automatic. Sometimes change isn’t beneficial, and you want to protect yourself. But a reflexive, active resistance to change, all and any change, becomes controlling, narrow-minded, and manipulative. I know that reality all too well. So let’s say having seen the opposite keeps me open.
Open Heart, Open Mind
Drea, we’re similar on the surface. Going deeper, my issues from what you described is fear of being controlled by others even out of goodwill and incompatibilities. Autonomy is my basic desires. As you mentioned the opposite, I need to learn to follow orders like I was good at when I was a child which I’m getting better. Again, it all points back to letting go of agendas.
What supports me is praying the Serenity Prayer, and asking Sophia (Holy Spirit) for guidance. Sometimes I still have to have a cathartic “Why?” either shared with a friend or in my journal then I can laugh about it. The Universe is leading the way. Peace this Sunday☮️ to all.
Life is trustworthy
As Julienne of Norwich is famous for saying,
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”…
if we trust Life. ♥
The belief that is normal. I experienced it before and will again. My husband said all is good.
I too think listening is helpful if I or others are to change. Some of my most important conversations have happened when I have said very little, but the other person has spoken deeply.
We’ve got two ears and one mouth!
What supports me is the knowledge that not all change is bad, that new ways of doing things or different circumstances might actually be better for me as I age. Change teaches me how to maintain my emotional balance. Kind of like surfing.
I also love the surfing analogy…
Hi Lauren. I haven’t seen you for a while.
Your surfing analogy is wonderful. I can envision surfing through change.
It seems to me that even changes that are clearly bad on the surface offer some opportunity, maybe an unexpected challenge to recover balance and regain momentum in life.
Listening opens me to change. My dad was a great listener. I fail sometimes but I try to listen openly and learn- when I do that sometimes I change my mind, sometimes I just respect the other’s point of view. Sometimes I think they are “off their rocker” but can still respect them. Also just listening to myself, God and the universe. I don’t mean listening to ego but listening to the part behind it heart? Soul? The one that says wait, be honest with yourself.
As others have said opening up to acceptance.
Listening to the deeper I.
What a gift to have a parent who was a great listener. Your comment on listening to the part behind ego is so important and a great reminder for me as I go through my day. Thanks Deann.
Dieng, you just touched on something important. I’m flattered when Ngoc praises me for being a good listener. I’m happy that my gentleness makes her feel like she’s being cared and also makes me feel valued. This brings me to integrity I’ve talked about before in many of my answers.
To go further, great listening requires setting aside agendas. Now, this is where I struggle, because like I said when commenting on Christina’s answer, I’ve run through walls for autonomy. Setting aside agendas will help us develope: connection, empathy, love, and compassion.
For one, reminding myself that change is inevitable. It’s going to happen no matter what. Also knowing that I have no control over a lot of what is changing, so it’s the practice of acceptance, as others have mentioned.
Hoping Joseph is okay… don’t think I’ve seen him for a few days.
same, hopefully we hear from him soon
I, too, have been concerned about Joseph.
Yes, missing Joseph. Hopefully he’s okay.
Yes,
dear SunnyPatti . . .
change is inevitable,
and acceptance is the answer
for what cannot be changed.
ps. I too,
have been hoping that Joseph is all right.
Sending love . . . ♥
I have been fine and composing a reflection each day and drinking tea while reading everyone’s reflections. I think my choice of a word to describe food shows has temporarily banned me from posting. I contacted the Grateful Living crew and their reply was 3 to 5 business days to read e-mails to them. I think it was 10/1.
I remember the post, Joseph, but I don’t remember anything objectionable about it.???🤔🤷♀️🫤😵💫 I would ask you what the word was, but I don’t want to get you banned again. 😬 Oh, my my my. Facebook banned me once for changing my name. They said I might be impersonating someone. I was insulted. 😐 With all the mean posts allowed on Facebook, they decided to ban me. For at least 6 weeks. We know how wonderful the people here at the Gratefulness website are, so I would be interested in hearing what they would say about this.
Glad to see you back, dear Joseph!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Oh wow! Good to know something like that could happen though
What do you mean, Robin Ann?
I know the word you speak of,
dear Joseph,
and I was temporarily banned
(for one night,
I believe),
for using the word s_x
in a completely innocent sentence.
Perhaps the team
can’t always keep up with the forum
personally . . .
In any case,
dear Joseph,
I am happy you have made your way back to us. ♥
Wow, really. How strange!
Oh no! I recall what you said, and while it wasn’t a big deal, I guess the world of the internet looks for particular words… ugh.
But glad you are okay and hope you get your full access back soon!!
Glad you are back. I don’t remember the word or post but I do they not read your posts or the context? Please don’t sensor good hearted people
Sunnypatti, a reminder of change being inevidable is all we need. The rest falls into play.
Many changes in my life are unpredictable and beyond my control. The most important thing I can manage is my attitude. Whether I accept it or not, change will come anyway. So I ask myself: Why don’t I accept it peacefully?
My Ngoc, you just expanded upon my 1st answer and even the 2nd one too.