There are a lot of things that I should do in this life . . .
otherwise there are consequences.
If I am willing to pay the consequences
then I can skip them,
‘consequences’ being the pivotal word here.
I should eat healthy food,
but might choose to fill my face with doughnuts and fatty, fried foods instead.
I might be too tired or lazy to cook and order take-out
or eat a bag of chips.
The consequences will be paid . . .
in indigestion, diarrhea,
or in a host of other,
more serious ailments.
Those whoppers might be paid back in a heart attack.
And over time I would certainly gain unhealthy weight
that is harder and harder to get off
when we get older.
It’s the same with the gym . . .
I should go there almost every day.
What I need to do
is to find a way to turn that “should”
into something I want to do,
and go into it enthusiastically . . .
change my mindset.
(I’m still working on that.)
‘Shoulds’
keep our world more orderly.
When my mother was still alive
I knew I should call her every day,
and although there were days when I didn’t feel like it,
I did it anyway.
‘Shoulds’ and things like ‘norms’
keep the world sane.
Look what has happened in the US right now
with norms and ‘shoulds’ being trampled upon
and tossed away on a daily basis.
They are part of the fabric of our society
that are being ripped apart,
and there will be consequences,
some of which
we can already feel and see.
I try to keep that in mind
when I think of letting go of some of my own ‘shoulds’ . . .
I am not burdened by most of the ‘shoulds’,
but I pay attention when I see one coming,
and give thought to whether a particular should
is helping or harming me.
If I didn’t keep my obligations to other people,
I soon would not have any friends.
If I didn’t pay my bills,
the electricity, the heat, and the water would go.
If I didn’t take care of myself
my health would deteriorate.
If I didn’t feel like feeding the cats
they would die.
Life, for me,
is not about being free to do whatever I want to . . .
it’s a balance.
I’m willing to reap the rewards of positive ‘shoulds’,
and reject the ones that don’t serve me.
I gave up imagining how life should be
several lifetimes ago. ♥
You know dear Sparrow, I never had a game plan when I left my folks home, a month after I turned 18. One older sister and 4 younger siblings. I was the first to head out. I just knew I wanted to live a life out of doors. I guess I never imagined how life should be. It just unfolded, 6 steps forward 4 back, 6 more forward 4 more back. The universe has granted me a bit more good fortune than bad fortune. I am grateful. Namaste.
I didn’t have a game plan either,
dear Joseph . . .
I just flew by the seat of my pants.
I too,
am grateful for what the Universe has granted you,
and I am grateful too,
for what the Universe has granted me.
Namaste.♥
Sometimes I get a glimpse of that–that life changes constantly and holding on to how it “should be”, isn’t really producing the results I want.. It is a difficult shift for me.
When I read today’s question, I thought of a quote from “The Daisy Book” by Sue Levy: I began living the day I threw away the “Shackles of Should.”
I’m not sure I even know how life SHOULD be. I just do my best to deal with “what is.” And, I try not to turn situations into problems. Today, the kitchen faucet is leaking and the plumber can’t come until Monday. I have decided it is not a problem…an inconvenience, yes, but not a problem.
When I can let go of my pre conceived notions and rigid expectations, I can feel my shoulders drop, my breath becomes deeper, and I can see more options and opportunities. Accepting things as they are, is a constant goal of mine.
I am free.
I feel perfectly fine “marching to my own drummer” & not to someone else’s.
I have always felt I don’t fit & have struggled with this for years. I am happy I don’t fit because all this “should have, would have, could have” that society places on each of us are soul destroying, in my opinion.
🕊️♥️
I relax. I accept what is happening right now. I want to add that when I catch a value judgment in motion, it’s really interesting to question what it is about and why I am holding onto it. I can learn a lot that way. So “ideas of life how should be” are also good teachers about oneself.
Letting go of my ideas about how life should be helps me to be more connected with others.
It helps me to stop resenting others who have things that I don’t have.
It frees me to look at possibilities and allows me to feel content with what I have.
Physically I can feel my shoulders relax, blood pressure retreat, and a lightness in my step. Universe knows what to do, not finite me. Safe and restful weekend to all. 🌻☮️
I notice that I am able to let go of the physical tension I hold in my body when I’m resisting to what is. Once I allow myself to simply let go, my body feels light. And for that, I am grateful. 🙏🏽🧡
This is a really interesting concept, Joseph.
Are you saying that we create our own lives and our own reality?
I would love to hear you say more about this. 😊
Life of all forms is unfolding all around me. Nature of all forms is unfolding all around me. All I am, is all I am. I am grateful to be able to witness the beauty and the chaos that this planet consists of, but also able to not swim against the current.
The ability to “play by ear” grows as I let go of how life should be. May everyone have a wonderful Friday, full of joy and excitement for a fun weekend.
Life flows so much easier when we let go of the “shoulds.” And like Michele mentioned, it can be full of surprises – some you may never thought would happen. There’s a saying that tells us not to should on ourselves… the guided meditation I listened to earlier had a mantra and it’s Trust – Flow – Surrender – Let Go. I think it pairs up with today’s question perfectly.
I remind myself that opinions are like assholes. Everybody has them. They all stink and are full of shit. This brings humility and reminds me that I’m just your average Joe.
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There are a lot of things that I should do in this life . . .
otherwise there are consequences.
If I am willing to pay the consequences
then I can skip them,
‘consequences’ being the pivotal word here.
I should eat healthy food,
but might choose to fill my face with doughnuts and fatty, fried foods instead.
I might be too tired or lazy to cook and order take-out
or eat a bag of chips.
The consequences will be paid . . .
in indigestion, diarrhea,
or in a host of other,
more serious ailments.
Those whoppers might be paid back in a heart attack.
And over time I would certainly gain unhealthy weight
that is harder and harder to get off
when we get older.
It’s the same with the gym . . .
I should go there almost every day.
What I need to do
is to find a way to turn that “should”
into something I want to do,
and go into it enthusiastically . . .
change my mindset.
(I’m still working on that.)
‘Shoulds’
keep our world more orderly.
When my mother was still alive
I knew I should call her every day,
and although there were days when I didn’t feel like it,
I did it anyway.
‘Shoulds’ and things like ‘norms’
keep the world sane.
Look what has happened in the US right now
with norms and ‘shoulds’ being trampled upon
and tossed away on a daily basis.
They are part of the fabric of our society
that are being ripped apart,
and there will be consequences,
some of which
we can already feel and see.
I try to keep that in mind
when I think of letting go of some of my own ‘shoulds’ . . .
I am not burdened by most of the ‘shoulds’,
but I pay attention when I see one coming,
and give thought to whether a particular should
is helping or harming me.
If I didn’t keep my obligations to other people,
I soon would not have any friends.
If I didn’t pay my bills,
the electricity, the heat, and the water would go.
If I didn’t take care of myself
my health would deteriorate.
If I didn’t feel like feeding the cats
they would die.
Life, for me,
is not about being free to do whatever I want to . . .
it’s a balance.
I’m willing to reap the rewards of positive ‘shoulds’,
and reject the ones that don’t serve me.
I gave up imagining how life should be
several lifetimes ago. ♥
You know dear Sparrow, I never had a game plan when I left my folks home, a month after I turned 18. One older sister and 4 younger siblings. I was the first to head out. I just knew I wanted to live a life out of doors. I guess I never imagined how life should be. It just unfolded, 6 steps forward 4 back, 6 more forward 4 more back. The universe has granted me a bit more good fortune than bad fortune. I am grateful. Namaste.
I didn’t have a game plan either,
dear Joseph . . .
I just flew by the seat of my pants.
I too,
am grateful for what the Universe has granted you,
and I am grateful too,
for what the Universe has granted me.
Namaste.♥
Sometimes I get a glimpse of that–that life changes constantly and holding on to how it “should be”, isn’t really producing the results I want.. It is a difficult shift for me.
When I read today’s question, I thought of a quote from “The Daisy Book” by Sue Levy: I began living the day I threw away the “Shackles of Should.”
I’m not sure I even know how life SHOULD be. I just do my best to deal with “what is.” And, I try not to turn situations into problems. Today, the kitchen faucet is leaking and the plumber can’t come until Monday. I have decided it is not a problem…an inconvenience, yes, but not a problem.
Good for you,
dear Carol Ann!
Plumbing problems
usually send me into a panic. ♥
When I can let go of my pre conceived notions and rigid expectations, I can feel my shoulders drop, my breath becomes deeper, and I can see more options and opportunities. Accepting things as they are, is a constant goal of mine.
I am free.
I feel perfectly fine “marching to my own drummer” & not to someone else’s.
I have always felt I don’t fit & have struggled with this for years. I am happy I don’t fit because all this “should have, would have, could have” that society places on each of us are soul destroying, in my opinion.
🕊️♥️
Western societal conditioning is certainly “soul destroying” PKR. Thank you.
I relax. I accept what is happening right now. I want to add that when I catch a value judgment in motion, it’s really interesting to question what it is about and why I am holding onto it. I can learn a lot that way. So “ideas of life how should be” are also good teachers about oneself.
Letting go of my ideas about how life should be helps me to be more connected with others.
It helps me to stop resenting others who have things that I don’t have.
It frees me to look at possibilities and allows me to feel content with what I have.
Physically I can feel my shoulders relax, blood pressure retreat, and a lightness in my step. Universe knows what to do, not finite me. Safe and restful weekend to all. 🌻☮️
A safe and restful weekend to you as well, Carla. 🌷
I notice that I am able to let go of the physical tension I hold in my body when I’m resisting to what is. Once I allow myself to simply let go, my body feels light. And for that, I am grateful. 🙏🏽🧡
Life is not happening to me, Life is happening as me. Peace and love.
This is a really interesting concept, Joseph.
Are you saying that we create our own lives and our own reality?
I would love to hear you say more about this. 😊
Life of all forms is unfolding all around me. Nature of all forms is unfolding all around me. All I am, is all I am. I am grateful to be able to witness the beauty and the chaos that this planet consists of, but also able to not swim against the current.
Thank you, Joseph. ☀️
The ability to “play by ear” grows as I let go of how life should be. May everyone have a wonderful Friday, full of joy and excitement for a fun weekend.
What a beautiful reply,
dear Ngoc . . . 🙂
My Ngoc, I’m not a planner. Playing things by ear feelm much more comfortable.
Great insight, Ngoc.
I love how you connected living life to playing music.
Life flows so much easier when we let go of the “shoulds.” And like Michele mentioned, it can be full of surprises – some you may never thought would happen. There’s a saying that tells us not to should on ourselves… the guided meditation I listened to earlier had a mantra and it’s Trust – Flow – Surrender – Let Go. I think it pairs up with today’s question perfectly.
I remind myself that opinions are like assholes. Everybody has them. They all stink and are full of shit. This brings humility and reminds me that I’m just your average Joe.
Life is always full of surprises …
TGIF 🙂
It sure is, Michele. It’s why I’m not a planner.
Freedom.
That’s exactly what I’m going to say, autonomy. Same thing but only freedom on steroids.