Please log in or Create a Profile to post a comment.
We're celebrating 25 years with you!
Help us sustain and grow our programs, support our global community, and make Br. David's vision for a more grateful world a reality.
Give $25 today to make the next 25 years possible!
2000 to 2025: Give $25 For Our 25th
Wow. Just wow. You have a good guy there.
I do indeed,
dear Linda,
and I will always be grateful for his care . . . ♥
When the time came
that I could no longer deny that I needed to have my hip replaced
I was overwhelmed with fear and trepidation . . .
I didn’t want to admit that I needed help to get through it.
My husband loves me,
but is not overly demonstrative
and depends on me to do my share in the house.
When I could no longer cook ‘real’ meals
he ate meals that I’d made ahead,
and then frozen meals and soup without complaining.
After my surgery
he took time off from work,
took me to my physical therapy appointments,
did the shopping,
the dishes,
the laundry,
cleaned out the litter box,
made me eggs and toast in the mornings,
and heated up pre-prepared meals for me . . .
he tolerated the messy house,
and vacuumed the rugs when he had time.
That is a lot
for someone who always took these things for granted.
He also became more tender towards me,
which has not stopped since I have healed
and taken up the housework again . . .
and remains more helpful in other ways.
He has also begun sharing more of his inner feelings and fears,
while really listening to mine as well.
None of this
was anything I ever would have expected from him,
but it has brought us closer together.
He’s had to address some issues of aging for himself as well . . .
hearing aids and dental work,
so is feeling more vulnerable too.
Whatever has caused this change
I will be eternally grateful for his life-saving support
through a very difficult time,
and feel optimistic for us
and sense that we are in a position
to grow old gracefully
together. ♥
Sparrow, this is so heartwarming. A virtual pat on the back to your husband for being a good guy.
He’s just the person I want beside me,
walking me home,
dear Drea . . . ♥
A love story❤️.
To be sure,
dear Joseph,
to be sure . . . ♥
Whenever someone encourages me it helps me so much.
I don’t love constructive criticism, although I’m sure it is necessary at times.
But when I have been encouraged and believe in myself, I have been amazed at what I can do.
So much of my experience flows from my state of mind.
I am grateful for this question, because it has reminded me of the importance of my my state of mind
I was talking with one of my yoga teachers the other day about hip pain and mom stuff, and she opened her class up with a beautiful poem her sister had written about those very things… hip pain and mom stuff, how we hold so much in our hips, how they hold us up in our life. It almost made me cry listening to it, but it was so pertinent and a nice reminder that I am not alone with dealing with situations like this. I needed that to get out of my head, and the flow that followed helped as well.
SunnyPatti – my Mom wrote a poem “I Love The Wind” that my yoga instructor years ago read in class and still does. My Mom’s bday was May 20th … I will write it out on that day. I would love, if it speaks to you, that you read it to your yoga class 🙂
I would love to read it! Thank you!
for some reason I was thinking we were still in May and the 20th was in a few weeks… here it is:
I LOVE THE WIND, by Christine Kane 11/21/00
From the Four Corners of the Earth, the wind will rise and greet us in anticipation of its surprise
“I Love the Wind”
Over the ocean the Wind will go, telling the waves to say hello
“I Love the Wind”
The trees are next in the Winds path, swaying branch by branch as they dance
“I Love the Wind”
See the Wind pick up the leaf, floating around and around until it hits the ground
“I Love the Wind”
The Wind has kissed the lake, its ripple you can’t mistake
“I Love the Wind”
Listen and you can hear the Wind is talking in our ear, its very near
“I Love the Wind”
The Wind is swirling around me, in my hair, in my face, I feel its Grace
“I Love the Wind”
The day will come when my Soul will rise and the Wind and I will go for a ride
“I Love the Wind”
And the Wind and I will never die
“I Love the Wind”
So, if you love the Wind as I, my Soul will touch you as we go by
“I Love the Wind”
That’s really nice, Michele! Thank you so much for sharing your mom’s poem. I would love to read it to some students 🙂
Sunnypatti, we have a lot in our heads that it’s easy to get stuck there.
The stuff in my head travels around my body… which is why I was having some hip pain as I have been dealing with some old mom stuff. But we can definitely get stuck in our heads, too!
Patti, I’m so glad your instructor shared that poem with you. Her action was definitely rooted in love. Grace, all is grace.It is very special when someone opens our eyes, our ears and are hearts to the flow.
It really was grace and love. And honestly, it helped me feel more connected to this teacher, something I’ve really wanted because I respect her so much.
Recently I went to a doctor with a specific problem, and the medicine she prescribed me actually treated the problem on the first try. This has so often *not* been the case that I was surprised and delighted when it did happen. What a relief.
This has happened quite a few times in my life.
Just the right person, saying just what I needed to hear, or just the right book, for what I was suffering from.
Part of it must be the state that I was in.
Raw, off centered, off balance, seeking something.
Seems that this state, is the optimal state for receiving help and guidance. I’ve been thinking about this lately. Somehow simulating this.
As I become comfortable and situated, I become less available to this sort of cosmic intervention.
Open and willing even when it is hurting like HELL!
Amen
I can’t think of an action that someone has given me. I do know I have been taken back when it happens.
Lately I have been aware of quotes and book recommendations that are timely.
I was raised in a church that told me I had to earn grace but that is not true. Grace is always hanging around just waiting for me to claim it.
Yram and Carol,
Carol posted a link in answer to the daily question on May 30 which asked how has life surprised me. Carol, I want you to know that I plan to continue giving this article much reflection. One reason I have trouble with feeling that I am not enough is that I look at many things that I have done in life as failures. This article by Richard Rohr views failures and humility in a different light than most people, including myself, would view them. Viewing failure and humility in this way, I just might be able to befriend the Mary who has had a lot of trouble succeeding. In case anyone missed it and would like to read this excellent article here is the link that Carol posted
https://cac.org/daily-meditations/chasing-success-creating-shadow/
Again, Carol, thank you so much.
So many times. In the last few years, my husband has been “that” person. Recently, I had a previous boss reach out to me. She embodies grace, enthusiasm, and spirituality. When I was her subordinate, I spent the first year waiting for the other shoe to drop—I was thinking, “is she really like this all of the time.” I eventually saw she was playing on a different level than most folks. She inspired me to go to grad school, to challenge myself in my career, and we supported each other through painful divorces. When I graduated from seminary, I officiated her wedding. Recently, there have been huge transitions at work. Jennifer texted me out of the blue. It was as if she knew—but, she didn’t. We’re meeting next week and I intend to share my goals and seek her advice. I don’t believe in serendipity; I do believe in being Divinely lead. I choose to believe in the latter reality. Jennifer is a career Angel.
It sounds very promising and inspiring. Hope it goes well Avril.
Go with the flow…All is grace but often we forget to claim it.
I pray that all goes in a flowing direction. If you believe it will be divinely lead, it will be.
In years past, I felt sufficated from protective care. Ngoc’s base is that style; not autonomous. Her willingness to adjust to the autonomous style helps a lot. That’s my foundation. My resistance towards protective care stems from Paw Mu’s same style of care but amplified. I’ve mentioned before.
With Ngoc showing me the way, not only have I been able to receive protective care, but also embrace it and pass along to others close to me within my circle as well. It’s also what has made me a darkhorse while Ngoc’s been gone in Vietnam. Even then, I still prefer autonomous care and will always will. I’ve shown that I’m capable of adapting to any system. Cracks have showed up in recent days, and I’m not surprised.
Cracks are more obvious at night. Overall, where I am now without Ngoc is like the Knicks surprising run to the Eastern Conference Finals beating Boston in the 2nd round infatically in 6 games only to just lose to Indiana in 6 games this weekend. The Knicks resemble adaptability, grit, and resiliency. It’s why I love them so much. They resemble so much of myself. Everyone talks about Jalen Brunson, but my favorite player on that team is OG Anunoby.
OG is a lockdown defender who can shoot 3s at a high rate. He scores around 17 points per game. OG’s a perfect Thibs guy. Tom Thibodeau loves guys who are lock-down perimeter defenders who can shoot 3s. He had a guy similar to OG back in Chicago in Luol Deng. Go Knicks!
“Cracks have shown up in recent days…Cracks are more obvious at night”
That is true for me too, Loc. If I start thinking about things that upset me at night
I become so much more troubled than I would in the daytime.
So I distract myself from troubling issues during the night.
In the light of day, I can see more clearly. ☀️☀️☀️
Oh yes, Mary. Our true colors are more obvious at night. For me, when cracks happen, it’s a good reminder to humble myself. Humility brings me centered. Being centered gives me clarrity. That inflated sense of self during the day doesn’t translate on to the night. Nights destroy egos.
Yesterday – my son came over and mowed my front yard (I had done the back). I always appreciate that kind of help, especially with the heat down here.
Wishing everyone a Happy Monday 🙂
That’s very nice of him, Michele. Speaking of mowing the lawn, it’s a perfect day to do that in the Twin Cities. It’s about to be a rainy day tomorrow.
I needed to take my lawnmower to the shop for an over due tune up. My younger neighbor was in her yard working and helped me load it into my car. At the hardware store I decided to rent a mower, as the grass was so over grown it needed it. (I thought of renting several goats but that would need permits;) When I came home, she helped me unload that mower. This morning I need to return the mower and will need to ask around for a neighbor to help, as the other neighbor works quite early. I’m Grateful for helpful neighbors, and the awareness I no longer have Herculean strength to do things by myself.
We were traveling to San Diego to visit my widowed sister-in-law in 2004. It was Saturday afternoon before Thanksgiving week, and when we stopped for the night in Marana, Arizona the truck was sputtering. A mechanics shop got the truck in first thing in the morning and had us on our way by noon. It was the fuel pump. My son now lives in Tucson. Peace, Love and Kindness.
Oh Joseph, fun story . I use to live in Arizona and have driven to San Diego from there and yes you don’t want the car to overheat ! Hope you had fun there !
Just last weekend. I was in a hurry to make my flight and someone let me to get in front of them in the coffee line. I was grateful because those extra few minutes allowed me to relax and release the stress I was feeling.
I was going about my usual unlimited things I want to do list and the helper at the meditation center (I practice on zoom online conveniently) said that he felt I wasn’t taking the meditaion seriously.
It made me stop and I had all kinds of emotions come up! Emotions like are you kidding me- how dare you think me of all people doesn’t take this seriously! So emotions like anger, resentment, rage, fear and anxiety to name just a few that boiled up to the surface.
What he did was a pivotal move for me at this juncture.
This situation could have gone a lot of was.
The monster of inferiority could have taken over and made me quit the method of discarding my salve illusionary self in favour of the ME-MYSELF-I who wants to make anything and everything about myself. The voice that thinks : I am this that or the other things is pure falseness and greed.
If in this one lifetime I can be anything I pray it is only Truth that will prevail.
Today’s wonderful quote can’t become true with the human mind- only the universe mind/God/Buddha/Universe can be True love. In other to make live forever we must become the light and energy of the world otherwise it’s all false .
What the helper or meditation guide did for me was a wake call to letting go of my greed of things I want to do. I’m so very grateful to this method- the universe. Thank you so much.☺️
I need to say that I think human minds and hearts can and do create movements rooted in love, and that this is essential. Each of us has our own path to love and to caring about what happens to others. adrienne maree brown’s list of things human beings are capable of exemplifying and practicing–“common ground, compassion, humility, healthy boundaries, patience and healing”–isn’t false for me.
I agree if we have not even evolved that much we have a ways to go.
I agree with Avril,
dear Antoinette . . .
as I was reading your post
I felt the same emotions arise in me
as you described,
and followed your process to its conclusion . . .
a wonderful demonstration how presence or self-awareness,
or your meditation style
really works.
I am grateful for you. 🙂
Thank you for being someone who actually understood what it means to really see your mind and not pretend to be good or holy . I am not holy or good . I am far from it . I have a human mind which needs to be cleaned . There can be no stain remaining. And I feel this is a privilege and a birthright. But I have no clue if I have the grit to make it to the end. I’ll keep doing my best . Thanks for accepting me and my messiness. 🙏
I have been teaching meditation for 12 years and I’ve never questioned someone’s commitment. That being said, I do think it’s interesting to observe what came up for you when the comment was made. I laud your ability to “stop, look, and go” and to use this as a growth opportunity.
This is a community that is extremely supportive and all the other communities that I have been in including as a yoga instructor all the Buddhist and breath meditations are not taking me to the next level. In fact I went all the way to the top level with somebody who has written books with a Dalai Lama and I was told that after 10,000 lifetimes maybe I’ll become enlightened that isn’t what this is about so. I don’t hide behind my mind I want the false self to be eliminated. I don’t need to Cuddled to have my shit shown to me . I want to know what I am carrying around with me and he know me very well. This space is a place I use to talk to the universe and I don’t make judgments. He was pointing out my habits which need to be completely eliminated. Thankfully I can truly surrender and keep letting go. The real meaning of surrendering is actually dead man’s pose and since you teach Yoga you must know what it means. It means that we actually must die and you don’t wait to die. You die actually now while you’re alive or it’ll be too late..
so for this I’m truly grateful. To have met my teacher or a person who can hold my hand the whole way with me is a blessing and gift .
His been here with me for four years. Holding my hand when I almost couldn’t walk four years ago. I’m in a very good place healing isn’t a pretty process and I accept the pain and joy one and the same .
I appreciate you being here and wanting to help. So thanks for that . 💓
I listen to meditation tracks on Insight Timer. I appreciate the many instructors who say gently that if I become aware that I’m thinking, that in and of itself is the practice and I can return my attention to my breath or whatever I’m focusing on. I don’t feel scolded, I feel seen and supported in continuing.
Maybe this isn’t the atmosphere to be able to bring this up because you don’t understand what’s happening. When we don’t take things that we have learned in Meditation into practice then we really haven’t learned anything. It means that we’re turning into our own selfish mind world and we continue to do the same old thing expecting new results.. I couldn’t have been more supported. He made all the difference in the world and now it’s changing my life.. i’m a very strong high strong person who constantly overdoes to the point where I make myself sick. It needs to be pointed out to me rather than pushed like many of the Americans that I grew up with who work like dogs until they get sick or die, I am the type of person who actually needs to learn how to stop and rest more often.
I appreciate how kind you are to show me that we are practicing stopping, looking and going 🙏
The right kind of help…some believe folks need to struggle and figure it out for themselves, but I think sometimes you hit a wall and need a boost.
The example that comes to mind is when I was younger and trying to complete a multiple Pirouette… I couldn’t get passed 2 turns, finally my teacher said…”stop thinking of going around and think only of going up”… and voila that was it! I really don’t think I would have figured it out myself, but sharing the small thought adjustment opened up new experiences.
It has happened, for me, like that throughout my life. Someone just sharing a thought that opened up a new way to approach life.
I love that suggestion as a metaphor for life too, Cathie.
Cathie, Yes, willingness to have eyes to see and ears to hear.