What comes to mind to me was moving away from an area I lived for many years. Although I have worked up in this area it was still very much new to me. Our neighbors have been very friendly which isn’t always the case so we are very fortunate. I did find a church that I kinda like too 😊
I’m so glad that all worked out for you. I totally get moving away from somewhere you’ve lived a long time, and finding good neighbors when you are in your new home is such a blessing… so is finding a new church 🙂
I have never really trusted life
since that first tragic day when I was 21,
just before Easter in 1970,
when the world collapsed around me . . .
it was after that
when I went looking for
and finding trouble . . .
much more than my early life had prepared me for.
It’s not that I didn’t trust . . .
it was that I didn’t care.
I should have either ended up in prison or dead,
but somehow
Grace saved me,
and I started to care again.
I soon realized that I was crippled by my lack of trust,
and would never heal unless I could find it again.
It was a painful journey,
but find it I did,
slowly and surely,
at least enough to function.
I married again,
and my life settled down in baby steps,
until we reached a crisis of home.
It was impossible to stay where we were living,
so we went out on a limb
and bought a home.
I was scared out of my wits to be homeless again,
but with my husband beside me,
I steeled myself and jumped in,
only when I allowed myself to trust him fully.
That’s when the door opened
and I could breathe again.
Joy returned with each hole I dug,
and the blood of creativity
began coursing through my veins again . . .
I felt redeemed
and went quite crazy digging up ferns and hosta from the old place
and bringing them to their new home,
creating curved beds,
planting iris, astilbe,
peonies and dead nettle and ajuga,
which likes to go wherever it wants . . .
rudbeckia, echinacaea and oriental poppies,
brunnera and old fashioned bleeding hearts,
filipendula and globe thistle . . .
hauling earth and soil around,
dragging big, old cobblestones to make borders . . .
and,
as things began to thrive
I had enough that I could trade with a few people,
and add more to my plant and flower family.
We’ve been here almost 13 years now,
so you can imagine how it might have grown during that time.
Opening that door
brought me back to life . . .
I can’t say that I trust the Universe again,
but feel like I have a pretty firm foothold
most days. ♥
Dear Sparrow, I’m glad you’re here, sharing your beautiful description of you hand-built world of plants. It sounds like a couple of near-misses and/or tragedies found you landing softly and with a great appreciation for life. What an inspiration.
Yes,
dear Joseph . . .
they are always better seen in retrospect.. ♥
3
Jenifer
3 weeks ago
Recently, I’ve been having a hard time with trusting life. I feel very stuck, stagnant. Closed off, More so this year than ever. I’m present with these feelings but they’re overpowering. I see where I want to go, but can’t seem to get there. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s difficult for me to consider myself as a person, with wants and needs and desires. I don’t get to where I want to go because I don’t believe I can or feel like that I’m worthy of anything. I don’t feel this trust in my life, but I know it’s there. I know I can believe in myself, I know I am worthy. I recognize my mind thinks one way but my heart thinks another. Getting both of them to align is and has been and will be one of the most difficult processes I will embark on, but I know it’ll be worth it. As long as I keep showing up, trusting myself even when I’m scared, will I know serenity. And for that, I am grateful 🧡
Dear Jenifer, I know that stuck feeling, and it can hold us back. Recognizing that is a step in the right direction. You are a divine being with a bright light who deserves everything your heart desires. Keep dropping back into your heart, as that is where the truth lies… the mind will eventually follow.
I am so sorry, Jennifer, that life has been so difficult.
These feelings sound really hard to deal with.
Please know that I care and that I stand with you
I will light a virtual candle for you.
Sending love, Mary
Jenifer, Something that helped me was when I realized that I did not have to be “worthy.” Because, I am of “worth.” I have failed at the game of “being worthy” many times but I have felt such joy knowing that I am of “Worth.” I am enough. Until I separated those two words–worthy and worth, I was always putting myself down. But when I realized I don’t have to be “worthy, I started to trust Life and myself.
Jenifer, thank you for showing up and sharing here. Saying it out loud (in writing in this case) is such a powerful way to crystallize where you’re going. You are worthy, you can do this, you can get to where you want to go. You are believing in yourself by sharing here. Naming the divide between mind and heart is a powerful step towards aligning them. Cheering you on as you continue show up. You got this.
I’m grieving closed doors. Or else, doors that were once open, that I thought were forever doors, have morphed and changed, some closed, some too small. I feel I’m in a river of loss. The river leads somewhere, so I’m allowing myself to go with the flow. Something is opening gently. I’ll trust that eventually I will see what it is.
“I’m grieving closed doors…I feel I’m in a river of loss. “
Loss and grief are so hard, Drea.
I’ve been feeling loss and grief too.
I’m with you in this Drea.
Sending love.
Trusting life hasn’t made that much sense to me, although I would feel a whole lot better if I trusted life.
What I do trust in is possibility, and that is my source of hope. Maybe trusting life and trusting possibility are the same, and the difference is one of semantics. I’m not sure if that is true or not, but for me trusting in the potential of possibility makes sense. Many times trusting possibility has opened new doors. After graduating college with a business degree (my Dad’s influence. Business wasn’t my thing.😐) I started out working for an advertising firm, then later became manager of a bookstore.
But I was thinking about becoming an elementary school teacher, so decided I would try to do that. I found a teaching position as the Math teacher in a Catholic school for grades 5-8 with the understanding that in addition to teaching, I would take the additional classes necessary for math teacher certification. I did this in my twenties and continued in Education as my life long profession. This all happened because I thought there was the possibility that someone would hire me to teach children. I was fortunate in that it worked out for me right away.
Now I have retired and there are so many possibilities. This is something that I continue to ponder.
20 years ago my husband and I moved 5 hours away from our old home and community on the Front Range in Colorado over the Continental Divide and to the Western Slope of Colorado. We were moving here for my new job. We didn’t know anyone here, and at first it was lonely. It has been a great adventure, with difficult times and happy times. We love the new community we have found here and our home. It was a good move to make.
I think it usually takes some time
to see the bigger picture,
dear Elizabeth,
and embrace the gifts of change . . .
I’m happy that this move worked out for you. ♥
Yes, I think it does often take time to see the bigger picture, dear Sparrow! and what the big picture seems to be now is different than what it will seem to be 20 years from now. Thank you for your kind words.
I don’t really think in terms of “trusting life”, but maybe I should. I get the meaning and I have definitely lived my life not trusting that things would work out. Lived my life resisting, out of fear. Lived my life convinced that the stars were arranged against me. That fate was generally not on my side. Finally, realizing that it didn’t matter what I thought. These were just thoughts. Concepts. Boxes. I would rather think of it as non resistance or going with the flow. Maybe I have finally become less centric and see myself in the bigger picture. All I know is, fear is the thing I must push aside. I can feel it when it arises in me. That tightness. I try to relax into it. Imagining myself swimming with the current. It’s amazing what opens up. And it’s sad how much my fear had kept me from experiencing.
Charlie, I relate. It is sad how much fear keeps us from interesting and life-giving experiences. Why it takes us so long to go with the flow, I don’t know but I am so grateful that I have not left this world without gaining that self awareness. Most of those opportunities are gone but having the self awareness of how I operated during those years has helped me grow.
I have posted this link before,
dear Charlie,
but your post today
has prompted me to post it again . . .
It is the text for ‘The Parable of Mushin’ https://hack.org/~mc/texts/the-parable-of-mushin.txt
from Charlotte Yoko Beck’s book, ‘Everyday Zen’.
It has helped me put things in perspective
many times . . .
I often go back to it.
Maybe it will speak to you. ♥
Charlie, the last sentence really spoke to me. I’ve also kept get sad and even angry at the thought of how much fear rules my life. I feel like I’m in the process now of grieving what didn’t happen but that same reason, reminding myself to take advantage of the now. Some days I do, others I don’t. And that’s ok too. Nothing lasts forever.
Charlie, I’m with you regarding non-resistance or going with the flow. I’ve trusted things would work out and some did, some didn’t, and some did until they didn’t. What Carol shared about life as a process or a flow really rings true.
Everyday seems to a day of trust as I move with my husband and his physical health journey.
I have been presented with an idea at a care support group. I really want to investigate more. I am not sure the timing in right but the inkling is there.
Yram, this is beautiful that you are able to have this attitude as you move with your husband and his physical health journey. I am sometimes also able to have this attitude of trust when I move with my husband and his physical health journey. At other times, I want to know and control everything. I find that there is a sweet balance spot of taking some time to research and gain knowledge, but also being able to just let go and trust too. It is much less exhausting when I can trust. Good luck to you as you investigate this idea that you heard at the caregiver support group.
Every day is filled with new doors. I found a journal entry from 2022 that contains a quote from Avril! The daily question was “When has trusting life given me insight?” I share what I wrote that day below and follow it with a Morning Med I wrote in 2019 that contains a short essay from Kristi Nelson about Uncertainty.
2022 Journal entry:
When I realized that Life is trustworthy, I realized that I am trustworthy because I am Life. We all are life. Franciscan priest Richard Rohr often says, “We offer our prayer together in all the Holy Names of God.” He’s not preaching or teaching dogma. He’s honoring and claiming the wisdom of all paths that lead this Life to fruition and promise. This site is a perfect example of caring and sharing our one Life. Breathing in and breathing out this infinite spirit that our finite mind cannot define. This Breath of Life that is calling us all forth to honor and embrace hundreds of years of evolutionary experience and growth. It is doing its best to assure us that if we go with the flow, roll with the punches, we will be shown a way. When I read the story of creation from various religious disciplines I always come away forsaking victimhood. There is no “Why me?” There is only “May I learn from this situation and not turn it in to a problem. Life, for me, is trustworthy. As Avril said in her post today, “…trust and acceptance are synonymous…” Desist instead of resist.
Morning Meds, May 13 2019 We are Life
There is a short essay from Kristi Nelson below. It is a beautifully written reminder filled with the wisdom of “going with the flow,” of “expecting what you need” not what you think you need; It is a reminder that life is trustworthy. I’ve been in my new home for about two weeks and am learning so much about myself from this experience. As Br. David says in this essay, “Deep trust in life is not a feeling but a stance that you deliberately take. It is the attitude we call courage.” Yes, it’s the attitude of gratitude. As Matthew Fox says in his book “Meditation with Meister Eckhart”
“The Word of God
Is always “In the beginning.”
And this means it is always in the process of being born
And is always already born”
Deepening Our Comfort with Uncertainty
By Kristi Nelson, Executive Director Gratefulness.org
You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.
~ Thomas Merton
I used to put myself to sleep by repeatedly reciting a little mantra that helped me transition from active days to hopes for a calm mind at night: “There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to know.” Guiding myself into greater comfort with not knowing was always helpful in reassuring my mind that it could truly rest and take a break from trying to plan and figure everything out. It seemed that where my mind could lead, my body would follow, and so I could slip into the sweet embrace of sleep.
There is much to discover that can surprise us, so much to which we can gratefully yield, so much permission to let go of our need to know or control what will happen.
In our daily lives, there are endless forms of uncertainty — far more things we cannot know than know. Objectively, this could be cause for great delight, wonder, and surrender. We could be relieved and appreciative that we do not have to perpetually hold onto the steering wheel, captain the ship, drive our lives. There is much to discover that can surprise us, so much to which we can gratefully yield, so much permission to let go of our need to know or control what will happen. And yet when we experience the presence of true uncertainty in our lives, it can be rattling. It goes against the conditioning most of us have internalized that not knowing is threatening — that it must be hidden or overridden, solved or resolved, as quickly as possible.
For everyone alive now, and for everyone who has ever lived, we are united in the fact that life invites us to show up again and again into mystery. There are no guarantees — only exquisite unknowns. We do not know exactly how or when we will die, and there is no single formula for how best to live. We do not know how life is going to unfold — in the grand scheme and also in its minutiae — and we cannot be in charge of most all of it. This freedom from control can either shrink our perspective to the size of a clinging fist or deliver us readily into the gaze of the cosmos, depending on how we approach life in the moment. Much of our freedom depends on cultivating greater perspective about being with uncertainty, however and whenever we can.
As we meet the uncertain world with grateful and wholehearted presence, our inner life and spiritual life are unfathomably enriched.
When we practice grateful living, we create a welcoming space for the surprise of uncertainty, knowing that it arrives naturally in each of those moments when we truly take nothing for granted. Without expectations, life is one surprising unfolding after another. The exact nature of the surprises that arrive in our lives is not up to us, but the nature of our response to surprise is ours and ours alone. Each time we let go and welcome life instead of holding onto our ideas about it, we receive reinforcement for our willingness to surrender to vastness rather than trying to resist it. The rewards of this shift are ever-available to us and make the risks ever-worthwhile, as they deliver the gifts of greater ease, resilience, and joy. As we meet the uncertain world with a more grateful, trusting presence, our inner life and spiritual life are unfathomably enriched. As Br. David Steindl-Rast says, “Deep trust in life is not a feeling but a stance that you deliberately take. It is the attitude we call courage.”
It seems we could benefit from learning to bring more of the intentions and prayers we use to guide ourselves to sleep at night to help guide us in how to be truly awake to our days. At night, we soften into the impending unknown of sleep by encouraging our minds to be fully in the moment, to let go, to trust, to surrender. Perhaps if we allowed ourselves to remember this practice of release — and that there truly, often is nothing to know — in the fullness of how we live out our days, we might find ourselves more available to life, and life infinitely more available to us.
Carol, I have not yet written my own response to this, but I find that your response contains much richness that helps me to consider what it means to trust life. I also love the Richard Rohr and Matthew Fox quotes, which I choose to interpret as inspiration for my practice of using a mantram or Holy Name or Word of God. And I am going to try to remember the phrase suggested by Kristi Nelson when I go to sleep at night!
When we packed up all of our belongings last October – after just unpacking them 2 months prior – and moved from the mountains to Charlotte. It was like the universe guided us here, and while it was scary, I trusted that it was the best thing for us. I love this city and all that it has to offer. I love the studio I found, the friends I have made, and the time I had to finish my 200 hr YTT. And now I am guiding classes and working with a respected teacher to start the next part of my Yoga journey. I’m so so grateful that I was willing, with my husband, to trust what would open up when this door was offered to us.
There’s a quote that says something like, “take a leap of faith – you’ll land somewhere new or learn to fly.” I feel like I am doing both at the same time!
“Bench the ego” Phil Jackson. I’ve said before that I’m past the Triple R killer days of resentment, rebellion, and regret. Paw Mu’s advice years ago of not separating from the root has a massive butterfly effect. Not only have I been more resilient and able to receive care while Ngoc is in Vietnam, I also have found a new passion in writing vietnamese poems as well. Even better, it’s a shared passion with my parents, their friends, and extended family.
I’ve also been writing poems but in Spanish! It’s been a fun and beautiful experience being able to conjure up my thoughts in my native language, and I hope you continue doing so !
I spent several years in a “golden birdcage” job. I felt I couldn’t leave because of the benefits and I couldn’t stay because of lack of growth opportunities. As a divorced single mom, I trusted a job as a contractor which didn’t come with benefits. Within a 18 months I had enough clinical experience to move into my current position in 2019 as a women’s heart program coordinator. Over the last two years, I’ve been wanting to move to a higher position. I want to challenge myself and have an opportunity for greater remuneration. I’ve avoided being impetuous and simply looking for more money. Now, things are aligning and there is an opportunity to move into a management position in this program, which I have grown exponentially over the last few years. I am trusting that I have done the work. I am trusting that the door is open and I am the right woman to cross this threshold. I am grateful that my practice of gratitude and my Sadhana have given me the freedom to know I am taken care of and all will be well.
May have been January 29th, 1979, the day I arrived in the San Luis Valley of Colorado. Been here since. May have been 1986 when I asked my lovely wife Cheryl out the first time. Two months shy of a 37 year union. May have been the births of our two children. Adult children now. May have been February 17th, 2022, the first day of no alcohol. (This go around) Have kept the genie in the bottle since. May have been the day in late May or early June 2022 when I saw Brother David’s video. Led me to this site and forum. Only days I have missed since are days the magic of wi-fi was not preforming. These are some of the doors that have opened to me and I choose to walk through them. Namaste.
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What comes to mind to me was moving away from an area I lived for many years. Although I have worked up in this area it was still very much new to me. Our neighbors have been very friendly which isn’t always the case so we are very fortunate. I did find a church that I kinda like too 😊
I’m so glad that all worked out for you. I totally get moving away from somewhere you’ve lived a long time, and finding good neighbors when you are in your new home is such a blessing… so is finding a new church 🙂
You are indeed fortunate,
dear Robin Ann,
to have good neighbors . . .
count your blessings. ♥
Unexpected, a little deepening of Song, inducing rings of ripples in the water. Thank you for this question.
When I quit my job to be self employed full time. People called me courageous, but it didn’t feel like it: I felt that I had to do it.
It was scary at first, but I became more and more trusting as the clients kept coming, and so far it didn’t stop.
I have never really trusted life
since that first tragic day when I was 21,
just before Easter in 1970,
when the world collapsed around me . . .
it was after that
when I went looking for
and finding trouble . . .
much more than my early life had prepared me for.
It’s not that I didn’t trust . . .
it was that I didn’t care.
I should have either ended up in prison or dead,
but somehow
Grace saved me,
and I started to care again.
I soon realized that I was crippled by my lack of trust,
and would never heal unless I could find it again.
It was a painful journey,
but find it I did,
slowly and surely,
at least enough to function.
I married again,
and my life settled down in baby steps,
until we reached a crisis of home.
It was impossible to stay where we were living,
so we went out on a limb
and bought a home.
I was scared out of my wits to be homeless again,
but with my husband beside me,
I steeled myself and jumped in,
only when I allowed myself to trust him fully.
That’s when the door opened
and I could breathe again.
Joy returned with each hole I dug,
and the blood of creativity
began coursing through my veins again . . .
I felt redeemed
and went quite crazy digging up ferns and hosta from the old place
and bringing them to their new home,
creating curved beds,
planting iris, astilbe,
peonies and dead nettle and ajuga,
which likes to go wherever it wants . . .
rudbeckia, echinacaea and oriental poppies,
brunnera and old fashioned bleeding hearts,
filipendula and globe thistle . . .
hauling earth and soil around,
dragging big, old cobblestones to make borders . . .
and,
as things began to thrive
I had enough that I could trade with a few people,
and add more to my plant and flower family.
We’ve been here almost 13 years now,
so you can imagine how it might have grown during that time.
Opening that door
brought me back to life . . .
I can’t say that I trust the Universe again,
but feel like I have a pretty firm foothold
most days. ♥
What a beautiful garden you must have, Sparrow!
I wish I could see it.
It is beautiful,
dear Mary . . .
I too,
wish you could see it. ♥
Dear Sparrow, I’m glad you’re here, sharing your beautiful description of you hand-built world of plants. It sounds like a couple of near-misses and/or tragedies found you landing softly and with a great appreciation for life. What an inspiration.
No,
dear Drea . . .
I did not land softly,
but clawed my way out anyway,
and yes,
my appreciation for Life is great.
I think yours is too. 🙂
Sometimes the hard landings of my life have been great learning experiences although most were perceived as painful and distasteful at the time.
Yes,
dear Joseph . . .
they are always better seen in retrospect.. ♥
Recently, I’ve been having a hard time with trusting life. I feel very stuck, stagnant. Closed off, More so this year than ever. I’m present with these feelings but they’re overpowering. I see where I want to go, but can’t seem to get there. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s difficult for me to consider myself as a person, with wants and needs and desires. I don’t get to where I want to go because I don’t believe I can or feel like that I’m worthy of anything. I don’t feel this trust in my life, but I know it’s there. I know I can believe in myself, I know I am worthy. I recognize my mind thinks one way but my heart thinks another. Getting both of them to align is and has been and will be one of the most difficult processes I will embark on, but I know it’ll be worth it. As long as I keep showing up, trusting myself even when I’m scared, will I know serenity. And for that, I am grateful 🧡
Dear Jenifer, I know that stuck feeling, and it can hold us back. Recognizing that is a step in the right direction. You are a divine being with a bright light who deserves everything your heart desires. Keep dropping back into your heart, as that is where the truth lies… the mind will eventually follow.
I am so sorry, Jennifer, that life has been so difficult.
These feelings sound really hard to deal with.
Please know that I care and that I stand with you
I will light a virtual candle for you.
Sending love, Mary
❤️ dear Jenifer.
Being scared
doesn’t have to stop you,
dear Jenifer . . .
you are seeing clearly
today.
I am on your side. ♥
Jenifer, thank you for sharing and I am glad you are here. You are worthy and special 💕
Jenifer, Something that helped me was when I realized that I did not have to be “worthy.” Because, I am of “worth.” I have failed at the game of “being worthy” many times but I have felt such joy knowing that I am of “Worth.” I am enough. Until I separated those two words–worthy and worth, I was always putting myself down. But when I realized I don’t have to be “worthy, I started to trust Life and myself.
Jenifer, thank you for showing up and sharing here. Saying it out loud (in writing in this case) is such a powerful way to crystallize where you’re going. You are worthy, you can do this, you can get to where you want to go. You are believing in yourself by sharing here. Naming the divide between mind and heart is a powerful step towards aligning them. Cheering you on as you continue show up. You got this.
I’m grieving closed doors. Or else, doors that were once open, that I thought were forever doors, have morphed and changed, some closed, some too small. I feel I’m in a river of loss. The river leads somewhere, so I’m allowing myself to go with the flow. Something is opening gently. I’ll trust that eventually I will see what it is.
Sending love, Drea ♥️ I am inspired that you are able to feel that trust even in this difficult time for you.
Thank you Elizabeth.
“I’m grieving closed doors…I feel I’m in a river of loss. “
Loss and grief are so hard, Drea.
I’ve been feeling loss and grief too.
I’m with you in this Drea.
Sending love.
Thank you Mary.
Trusting life hasn’t made that much sense to me, although I would feel a whole lot better if I trusted life.
What I do trust in is possibility, and that is my source of hope. Maybe trusting life and trusting possibility are the same, and the difference is one of semantics. I’m not sure if that is true or not, but for me trusting in the potential of possibility makes sense. Many times trusting possibility has opened new doors. After graduating college with a business degree (my Dad’s influence. Business wasn’t my thing.😐) I started out working for an advertising firm, then later became manager of a bookstore.
But I was thinking about becoming an elementary school teacher, so decided I would try to do that. I found a teaching position as the Math teacher in a Catholic school for grades 5-8 with the understanding that in addition to teaching, I would take the additional classes necessary for math teacher certification. I did this in my twenties and continued in Education as my life long profession. This all happened because I thought there was the possibility that someone would hire me to teach children. I was fortunate in that it worked out for me right away.
Now I have retired and there are so many possibilities. This is something that I continue to ponder.
20 years ago my husband and I moved 5 hours away from our old home and community on the Front Range in Colorado over the Continental Divide and to the Western Slope of Colorado. We were moving here for my new job. We didn’t know anyone here, and at first it was lonely. It has been a great adventure, with difficult times and happy times. We love the new community we have found here and our home. It was a good move to make.
I think it usually takes some time
to see the bigger picture,
dear Elizabeth,
and embrace the gifts of change . . .
I’m happy that this move worked out for you. ♥
Yes, I think it does often take time to see the bigger picture, dear Sparrow! and what the big picture seems to be now is different than what it will seem to be 20 years from now. Thank you for your kind words.
I don’t really think in terms of “trusting life”, but maybe I should. I get the meaning and I have definitely lived my life not trusting that things would work out. Lived my life resisting, out of fear. Lived my life convinced that the stars were arranged against me. That fate was generally not on my side. Finally, realizing that it didn’t matter what I thought. These were just thoughts. Concepts. Boxes. I would rather think of it as non resistance or going with the flow. Maybe I have finally become less centric and see myself in the bigger picture. All I know is, fear is the thing I must push aside. I can feel it when it arises in me. That tightness. I try to relax into it. Imagining myself swimming with the current. It’s amazing what opens up. And it’s sad how much my fear had kept me from experiencing.
Charlie I heard this at a Life Ring meeting Monday morn. The fellow that said it referred to it as an old Zen saying………Hope is as hollow as fear.
Charlie, I relate. It is sad how much fear keeps us from interesting and life-giving experiences. Why it takes us so long to go with the flow, I don’t know but I am so grateful that I have not left this world without gaining that self awareness. Most of those opportunities are gone but having the self awareness of how I operated during those years has helped me grow.
I have posted this link before,
dear Charlie,
but your post today
has prompted me to post it again . . .
It is the text for ‘The Parable of Mushin’
https://hack.org/~mc/texts/the-parable-of-mushin.txt
from Charlotte Yoko Beck’s book, ‘Everyday Zen’.
It has helped me put things in perspective
many times . . .
I often go back to it.
Maybe it will speak to you. ♥
I love that story, Sparrow. Thank you very much for sharing it.
Charlie, the last sentence really spoke to me. I’ve also kept get sad and even angry at the thought of how much fear rules my life. I feel like I’m in the process now of grieving what didn’t happen but that same reason, reminding myself to take advantage of the now. Some days I do, others I don’t. And that’s ok too. Nothing lasts forever.
Charlie, I’m with you regarding non-resistance or going with the flow. I’ve trusted things would work out and some did, some didn’t, and some did until they didn’t. What Carol shared about life as a process or a flow really rings true.
Everyday seems to a day of trust as I move with my husband and his physical health journey.
I have been presented with an idea at a care support group. I really want to investigate more. I am not sure the timing in right but the inkling is there.
Yram, this is beautiful that you are able to have this attitude as you move with your husband and his physical health journey. I am sometimes also able to have this attitude of trust when I move with my husband and his physical health journey. At other times, I want to know and control everything. I find that there is a sweet balance spot of taking some time to research and gain knowledge, but also being able to just let go and trust too. It is much less exhausting when I can trust. Good luck to you as you investigate this idea that you heard at the caregiver support group.
Every day is filled with new doors. I found a journal entry from 2022 that contains a quote from Avril! The daily question was “When has trusting life given me insight?” I share what I wrote that day below and follow it with a Morning Med I wrote in 2019 that contains a short essay from Kristi Nelson about Uncertainty.
2022 Journal entry:
When I realized that Life is trustworthy, I realized that I am trustworthy because I am Life. We all are life. Franciscan priest Richard Rohr often says, “We offer our prayer together in all the Holy Names of God.” He’s not preaching or teaching dogma. He’s honoring and claiming the wisdom of all paths that lead this Life to fruition and promise. This site is a perfect example of caring and sharing our one Life. Breathing in and breathing out this infinite spirit that our finite mind cannot define. This Breath of Life that is calling us all forth to honor and embrace hundreds of years of evolutionary experience and growth. It is doing its best to assure us that if we go with the flow, roll with the punches, we will be shown a way. When I read the story of creation from various religious disciplines I always come away forsaking victimhood. There is no “Why me?” There is only “May I learn from this situation and not turn it in to a problem. Life, for me, is trustworthy. As Avril said in her post today, “…trust and acceptance are synonymous…” Desist instead of resist.
Morning Meds, May 13 2019 We are Life
There is a short essay from Kristi Nelson below. It is a beautifully written reminder filled with the wisdom of “going with the flow,” of “expecting what you need” not what you think you need; It is a reminder that life is trustworthy. I’ve been in my new home for about two weeks and am learning so much about myself from this experience. As Br. David says in this essay, “Deep trust in life is not a feeling but a stance that you deliberately take. It is the attitude we call courage.” Yes, it’s the attitude of gratitude. As Matthew Fox says in his book “Meditation with Meister Eckhart”
“The Word of God
Is always “In the beginning.”
And this means it is always in the process of being born
And is always already born”
Deepening Our Comfort with Uncertainty
By Kristi Nelson, Executive Director Gratefulness.org
You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.
~ Thomas Merton
I used to put myself to sleep by repeatedly reciting a little mantra that helped me transition from active days to hopes for a calm mind at night: “There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to know.” Guiding myself into greater comfort with not knowing was always helpful in reassuring my mind that it could truly rest and take a break from trying to plan and figure everything out. It seemed that where my mind could lead, my body would follow, and so I could slip into the sweet embrace of sleep.
There is much to discover that can surprise us, so much to which we can gratefully yield, so much permission to let go of our need to know or control what will happen.
In our daily lives, there are endless forms of uncertainty — far more things we cannot know than know. Objectively, this could be cause for great delight, wonder, and surrender. We could be relieved and appreciative that we do not have to perpetually hold onto the steering wheel, captain the ship, drive our lives. There is much to discover that can surprise us, so much to which we can gratefully yield, so much permission to let go of our need to know or control what will happen. And yet when we experience the presence of true uncertainty in our lives, it can be rattling. It goes against the conditioning most of us have internalized that not knowing is threatening — that it must be hidden or overridden, solved or resolved, as quickly as possible.
For everyone alive now, and for everyone who has ever lived, we are united in the fact that life invites us to show up again and again into mystery. There are no guarantees — only exquisite unknowns. We do not know exactly how or when we will die, and there is no single formula for how best to live. We do not know how life is going to unfold — in the grand scheme and also in its minutiae — and we cannot be in charge of most all of it. This freedom from control can either shrink our perspective to the size of a clinging fist or deliver us readily into the gaze of the cosmos, depending on how we approach life in the moment. Much of our freedom depends on cultivating greater perspective about being with uncertainty, however and whenever we can.
As we meet the uncertain world with grateful and wholehearted presence, our inner life and spiritual life are unfathomably enriched.
When we practice grateful living, we create a welcoming space for the surprise of uncertainty, knowing that it arrives naturally in each of those moments when we truly take nothing for granted. Without expectations, life is one surprising unfolding after another. The exact nature of the surprises that arrive in our lives is not up to us, but the nature of our response to surprise is ours and ours alone. Each time we let go and welcome life instead of holding onto our ideas about it, we receive reinforcement for our willingness to surrender to vastness rather than trying to resist it. The rewards of this shift are ever-available to us and make the risks ever-worthwhile, as they deliver the gifts of greater ease, resilience, and joy. As we meet the uncertain world with a more grateful, trusting presence, our inner life and spiritual life are unfathomably enriched. As Br. David Steindl-Rast says, “Deep trust in life is not a feeling but a stance that you deliberately take. It is the attitude we call courage.”
It seems we could benefit from learning to bring more of the intentions and prayers we use to guide ourselves to sleep at night to help guide us in how to be truly awake to our days. At night, we soften into the impending unknown of sleep by encouraging our minds to be fully in the moment, to let go, to trust, to surrender. Perhaps if we allowed ourselves to remember this practice of release — and that there truly, often is nothing to know — in the fullness of how we live out our days, we might find ourselves more available to life, and life infinitely more available to us.
Life is process not product and we are LIFE!
These are helpful shares, thank you Carol.
Carol, I have not yet written my own response to this, but I find that your response contains much richness that helps me to consider what it means to trust life. I also love the Richard Rohr and Matthew Fox quotes, which I choose to interpret as inspiration for my practice of using a mantram or Holy Name or Word of God. And I am going to try to remember the phrase suggested by Kristi Nelson when I go to sleep at night!
When we packed up all of our belongings last October – after just unpacking them 2 months prior – and moved from the mountains to Charlotte. It was like the universe guided us here, and while it was scary, I trusted that it was the best thing for us. I love this city and all that it has to offer. I love the studio I found, the friends I have made, and the time I had to finish my 200 hr YTT. And now I am guiding classes and working with a respected teacher to start the next part of my Yoga journey. I’m so so grateful that I was willing, with my husband, to trust what would open up when this door was offered to us.
. . . a huge leap of faith,
dear Sunnypatti. ♥
There’s a quote that says something like, “take a leap of faith – you’ll land somewhere new or learn to fly.” I feel like I am doing both at the same time!
“Bench the ego” Phil Jackson. I’ve said before that I’m past the Triple R killer days of resentment, rebellion, and regret. Paw Mu’s advice years ago of not separating from the root has a massive butterfly effect. Not only have I been more resilient and able to receive care while Ngoc is in Vietnam, I also have found a new passion in writing vietnamese poems as well. Even better, it’s a shared passion with my parents, their friends, and extended family.
I’ve also been writing poems but in Spanish! It’s been a fun and beautiful experience being able to conjure up my thoughts in my native language, and I hope you continue doing so !
Jennifer, it sure brings us closer to our root people. This reduces isolation.
LOC, Love to hear you are writing poetry!
I spent several years in a “golden birdcage” job. I felt I couldn’t leave because of the benefits and I couldn’t stay because of lack of growth opportunities. As a divorced single mom, I trusted a job as a contractor which didn’t come with benefits. Within a 18 months I had enough clinical experience to move into my current position in 2019 as a women’s heart program coordinator. Over the last two years, I’ve been wanting to move to a higher position. I want to challenge myself and have an opportunity for greater remuneration. I’ve avoided being impetuous and simply looking for more money. Now, things are aligning and there is an opportunity to move into a management position in this program, which I have grown exponentially over the last few years. I am trusting that I have done the work. I am trusting that the door is open and I am the right woman to cross this threshold. I am grateful that my practice of gratitude and my Sadhana have given me the freedom to know I am taken care of and all will be well.
Blessings to you,
dear Avril,
as you embark on the next journey . . .
set your sails with the wind
with love . . . ♥
Good for you, Avril, it sounds like you’ve really forged a wonderful program and opportunity.
Blessings! 💞🙏
May have been January 29th, 1979, the day I arrived in the San Luis Valley of Colorado. Been here since. May have been 1986 when I asked my lovely wife Cheryl out the first time. Two months shy of a 37 year union. May have been the births of our two children. Adult children now. May have been February 17th, 2022, the first day of no alcohol. (This go around) Have kept the genie in the bottle since. May have been the day in late May or early June 2022 when I saw Brother David’s video. Led me to this site and forum. Only days I have missed since are days the magic of wi-fi was not preforming. These are some of the doors that have opened to me and I choose to walk through them. Namaste.
I’m sure there will be many more,
dear Joseph . . . ♥
Yes, thank you for the reminder that this site was a door to walk through, and continues to be a door every day.
I am happy you found this site and share your journey/s and love of the land.