Reflections

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  1. Barb C
    Barb C
    1 month ago

    Weird thing happening: My comment seemed to post but doesn’t show. When I try to post it again, the “duplicate message” pop-up tells me I can’t. Trying one more time a couple of days later–

    Community is my jam! Long answer–

    I’m fortunate to have good real-life and online communities. Here, of course, for online, and also the Ask A Manager commentariat. That space is very well-moderated and people really engage.

    In real life, my improv troupe is my newest well-established community. I’m the oldest member and appreciate having new friends of different ages.

    I’m about to start going to a “nearly silent writing club” held at my local independent bookstore and expect to find community there. I haven’t been writing as many blog posts over the past year as I intended. I’m in the planning and research phases of a book I’ve been thinking about writing. Having a dedicated time and place will keep me on track as well as connect me with other writers.

    We moved to this town five years ago. I’ve made new friends, such as the improv members, and have one best friend and others I don’t see as often as I’d like. Years ago I created a friendship group and I want to recreate it here.

    What I did back then: I reached out to a lot of great women I’d meet professionally with a message that in essence said “I think we could be friends but we won’t have friendship time and space unless we schedule it because we’re busy. I’m going to go for coffee once a month on the second Saturday. If you want to join me, please do! And feel free to bring a friend.” The Second Saturdays group had met every month for over a decade when I moved away and handed the email list off to someone else to be the inviter/organizer. It ran for a while longer, then petered out.

    It took some vulnerability to say “I want to be your friend”, just as it did when we were kids on the playground. I was selective in who I reached out to–women I already had a sense of connection with, served on a committee with or worked with. I got such enthusiastic response! Every once in a while I’d check that the people on the list wanted to keep getting my monthly email with the location. Some of them replied “Keep me on the list. I haven’t been able to come yet but I love this idea and hope to come someday.” The need to formally schedule friendship time resonated with them. Some of the women who became good friends were friends of friends; my original contact may or may not have kept coming, but someone they brought stayed on. The key was a consistent schedule and an open invitation with no pressure.

    I’d been thinking of starting that up in this town. My barrier has been finding a coffee shop with enough space for a good-sized group. I want it to be in a public space so no one has to clean house or fix food and we can all get the kind of coffee drink we want for a treat. Now that we have good weather I can do some scouting by bike for coffee shops and check how busy they are at the time I’d want to schedule this.

    The other community I created last year is doing well and I’ll keep putting energy into that. I belong to a large professional organization and the regional chapter was holding all its meetings in the major metro that no one from my part of the region finds it particularly easy to travel to, or they’re at times that make it a super long day, or both.

    I volunteered to start organizing events in our end of the general region area if others would join me. This was over a year ago. They put out a survey that identified definite interest and a few committee members. We got rolling, have held four events (roughly one a quarter) bouncing between the two largest cities in our area, and it’s been a screaming success. SO much energy and enthusiasm for finally feeling as if the members here are getting full value, plus we’re recruiting new members and building a professional network.

    This is a women-centered organization (which welcomes men, nonbinary, everyone to join) and it’s been great to feel the response. More volunteers joined the committee after coming to the first events, and the committee members have become friends I enjoy working with.

    All of this is to say, communities form when someone does something to create a connecting space and time. I often do something ☺️.

    1. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      3 weeks ago

      Your energy for organizing and connecting,
      dear Barb,
      is astonishing.
      It’s a wonder you have time to breathe.
      I’m sure your efforts
      are welcome
      wherever you go
      and whatever your goal is.

      In the last several years
      I have made an effort
      to connect with two different people,
      but it just never worked out.
      They both seemed enthusiastic at the time I mentioned it,
      but never responded
      when I actually reached out . . .
      I must only guess
      that their lives are busy enough.

      For you,
      onward and upward . . .
      bravo! 🙂

  2. Robin Ann
    Robin Ann
    1 month ago

    I have found 2 places in my community for chair yoga. Just what I really needed. I’d love to do regular yoga right now but I am limited with health issues to do so unfortunately. Everyone is super friendly and nice!

    I am also grateful for this community and my community at work only 12 mins away .

    1. Patti
      sunnypatti
      1 month ago

      Chair yoga is still yoga! You are doing good for yourself 🙂

      1. Robin Ann
        Robin Ann
        1 month ago

        Thanks SunnyPatti!

    2. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Get well soon, Robin. Being able to do what we want is a pleasurable feeling.

  3. pkr29022
    pkr
    1 month ago

    I recently moved across the country to the city I grew up in having just lost my husband.
    I am searching for community here in my new home. So far I have not had much success.
    I have my daughter & a dear cousin who are my community, which is great. I need more tho…
    I recently started taking Jin Shin Jyustu classes & have begun a community of sorts with like minded people. Familiar faces @ the classes.
    Gratefulness.org has been my community for many years now. It is an honor to be a part of this sanctuary. So much love here, authenticity too.🩷🙏🏻
    I will continue to search for other avenues to connect. I haven’t given up but it’s been hard!!
    Feel like “I don’t fit”……

    1. Yram
      Yram
      1 month ago

      That is a big leap after the passing of your husband. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. I am in a similar position. I am not ready to move but I am also keeping options open. It takes a long time to fit in
      I am glad you are here. Blessings!

      1. pkr29022
        pkr
        1 month ago

        Thank you Yram for your kind words.
        🙏🏻🩷

    2. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      PKR, family is certainly a great starting point.

    3. Robin Ann
      Robin Ann
      1 month ago

      It really is hard it took me a full year to feel comfortable after my move and only starting to find some community that feels right. It will happen I am sure PKR💕

      1. pkr29022
        pkr
        1 month ago

        Thank you Robin Ann. Yes, it does takes time. 🙏🏻🩷

  4. sparrow51014
    sparrow
    1 month ago

    When I was a little girl
    I never imagined that adults went to parties
    or got together in group,
    so it was a surprise to me
    to be invited to one.
    I suppose
    I don’t know enough people at these gatherings
    to feel comfortable
    or like I belong.
    I’ve been to a few since then,
    and I can’t say that I enjoy them
    or do well with them,
    so I don’t seek them out . . .
    but I do respect community
    and groups with purpose.

    Being a member here
    satisfies and fulfills me
    more than any group I’ve belonged to
    or been on the fringes of.
    I don’t much like being singled out,
    but prefer to be a presence–
    blending in with the whole picture.
    I love to read what is in people’s hearts
    and to hear their/your stories,
    and learn so much
    from the expressed thoughts of others . . .
    I feel in communion here,
    and not so afraid anymore.
    I was in the beginning,
    but have grown to feel safer
    and willing to take a chance,
    which is good for me,
    because like some others
    I am more or less alone in the world
    except for my beloved husband,
    of course,
    and one or two friends
    who I see or hear from occasionally.
    My family is gone now
    and my son is far away,
    although I do hear from him from time to time.

    You are real to me
    and I value what is provided here
    more than I can say . . .
    I don’t have an outlet for the spiritual,
    which is really the main thing that I am,
    and I would be quite bereft
    if this place didn’t exist,
    so thank you.
    The Divine in me
    bows to the Divine in you . . .
    all of you. ♥

    1. Michele
      Michele
      1 month ago

      Namaste

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 month ago

        🙏🏼

    2. Patti
      sunnypatti
      1 month ago

      This space is truly a beautiful place to be. I feel so fortunate to share it with you and all the others ✨

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 month ago

        I do too,
        dear SunnyPatti . . .
        this is my source
        for the Spiritual. ♥

    3. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 month ago

      Namaste and thank you dear Sparrow, ☀️.

      1. sparrow51014
        sparrow
        1 month ago

        May the sun shine brightly
        on your dear soul,
        dear Joseph. ♥

  5. Ngoc Nguyen
    Ngoc Nguyen
    1 month ago

    This question comes at the right time since I have social anxiety. Making connections and finding a sense of community is quite a challenge for me, especially since we’re going to have a four-day trip with my extended family of more than 20 people. It will be pretty crowded, as the trip includes adults, young children, and toddlers. So, it’s not something that I find easy to manage, but I’ll try to observe my feelings, be a little more patient, and offer what I can do by supporting and watching the toddlers if I can. It’s a good start. Have a great one, everybody.

    1. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      My Ngoc, this question came at the perfect timing for me as well, because out of the blue, I felt lonely in the middle of the night around 4am missing you.

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 month ago

      I too,
      have social anxiety,
      dear Ngoc . . .
      that is at least partially why
      I love coming to this place.
      I cringe a little about your visit . . .
      a four day trip
      with all of those people!
      Yikes!
      But you are fortified with love
      from your immediate family
      and have learned much
      through your work on the call lines.
      Look after the toddlers,
      sure,
      but take a little risk
      and put your beautiful self out there too . . .
      you don’t need to feel captive to your anxiety anymore. ♥

      1. L
        Loc Tran
        1 month ago

        Sparrell, based on my answers of overcoming my biggest barrior being pride, I can balance her out in this area. My presence puts herself out there while she keeps my circle pure. I call her everyday after I eat dinner to check up on her, and we end up having quite a few meanningful conversations.

  6. C
    Claire757
    1 month ago

    Who here is using the community app/lounge space through grateful.org?
    I check the daily question every morning. Wondering what other options there are if people are using?

    1. Yram
      Yram
      1 month ago

      I do take time for both venues. I do enjoy both on a daily bases. I will look for your name. It may be worth a try.

    2. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 month ago

      Here is a link,
      dear Claire,
      to the Gratefulness Lounge,
      in case it is of interest to you. ♥

      https://community.grateful.org/c/lounge/

      1. C
        Claire757
        1 month ago

        Do you use it

        1. sparrow51014
          sparrow
          1 month ago

          I take a peek now and then,
          dear Claire,
          but no,
          I do not post there.
          This space here,
          works wonderfully for me. ♥

    3. Barb C
      Barb C
      1 month ago

      I looked at the lounge a while back, didn’t make it part of my morning routine. I want to be sure to be present in this community and only have so much time. I’d be interested in reading what others think who make use of that space as well as this one.

      1. Michele
        Michele
        1 month ago

        same for me, I don’t have time for both.

  7. EnnDee Gee
    EnnDee
    1 month ago

    I often think about community and am glad to have found this Grateful Living community. Until I retired, I had a work community with many like-minded individuals who care deeply about the people who live in my area–part of the mission of the organization. I felt a responsibility to retire so that my husband and I could do some of the things we’d hoped to do since he had retired after open heart surgery at the age of 61 and then fought a rare leukemia a few years later. He is not home bound, but doing things outside of home takes increasing effort and planning. So I look for community outside of family in online forums… those with interests in mindfulness, healthy eating, and other areas. Perhaps I will find my community in volunteering!

    1. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 month ago

      I think it is wonderful,
      dear Enndee,
      that you were able to retire
      to be with your husband more,
      as he has certainly had some very big challenges.
      You don’t need to restrict your social life at all . . .
      perhaps there is some volunteer work
      that both you and your husband
      could participate in together . . .
      it sounds like your support
      is important to him,
      whether he acknowledges it or not.
      Have fun looking . . . ♥

      1. EnnDee Gee
        EnnDee
        1 month ago

        Thank you, dear Sparrow! I will continue to look for volunteer work that suits us!!

  8. Antoinette88615
    Antoinette
    1 month ago

    This is funny to me because of course I get why we want to seek Community and I too do this as well, but I also see that the seeking mind is an endless mind and it’s a dead end. Having said that it’s important to note Truth is within us and what we are looking for is here inside us and all around us. We are all one and when I see from the this perspective my burden is taken away .

    1. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 month ago

      ”We are all one and when I see from the this perspective my burden is taken away .”

      I think,
      dear Antoinette,
      that is why we come here . . .
      to seek community,
      but also to share our hearts
      and our wisdom. ♥

    2. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Antoinette, as the old addage goes, “Alone together.”

      1. Antoinette88615
        Antoinette
        1 month ago

        Thanks Loc Tran i dint know that one .

        1. L
          Loc Tran
          1 month ago

          No problem, Antoinette. From what I vaguely remember, it’s a title to one out the standard jazz tunes.

  9. Carol Ann Conner
    Carol Ann Conner
    1 month ago

    Seeking community right now is very challenging due to physical issues. I am seeing a medical specialist next week to evaluate whether surgery is possible or would be helpful. I love Audre Lorde’s quote, “Tomorrow belongs to those of us who conceive of it as belonging to everyone, who lend the best of ourselves to it, and with joy.” That I can work on and found today’s meditation from Richard Rohr’s site a helpful message in relationship to today’s quote. I identify with it.
    https://cac.org/daily-meditations/the-spirit-reworks-us/

    1. Patti
      sunnypatti
      1 month ago

      Thinking of you, Carol Ann 🙏🏼

    2. Joseph
      Joseph McCann
      1 month ago

      May you time with a specialist be fruitful Carol Ann.

    3. sparrow51014
      sparrow
      1 month ago

      I am pleased,
      dear Carol Ann,
      that you are seeking advice from a specialist . . .
      this person
      can help you to see your issues more clearly,
      and may have solutions
      you haven’t thought of.
      I will be thinking of you
      as you tread this path.

      ps. I thought Richard Rohr’s meditation today
      was very pertinent
      to what happens
      as we grow spiritually. ♥

    4. Antoinette88615
      Antoinette
      1 month ago

      CAROL ANN
      I’m sorry about your health issue and I hope you get help you need . Sending hugs .

      1. Carol Ann Conner
        Carol Ann Conner
        1 month ago

        Thank You, Antoinette

  10. Kathy29496
    Katrina
    1 month ago

    I love this community, and was greatly distressed when I was BLOCKED! I see that happened to others of you. I am grateful to be back. I have a group of women I meet with on Thursday mornings called No Agenda Coffee. And that it truly what it is. We talk about anything and everything, except politics. It is my primary community since I am no longer attending church. That is because I just can’t find my niche. I am a retired pastor/preacher. I know what I want in a faith community, but it doesn’t exist in my area. And like Drea, I don’t want to drive an hour to find it. And I can’t afford that area anyway. I do have other friend and family communities of which I am a member, but I don’t get to meet in person with them very often. I would love a book club, hobby or volunteer based community – my neighborhood community is “pick up my mail/borrow sugar” kind of community. I could cultivate more there, but not sure …

    1. Barb C
      Barb C
      1 month ago

      Your No Agenda Coffee reminded me of my Second Saturdays group from years ago that I described in my response. Those informal “play dates” are harder to find once we’re adults, aren’t they? We have to create them if we can’t find them.

    2. C
      Claire757
      1 month ago

      Blocked from this site? How?

      1. Antoinette88615
        Antoinette
        1 month ago

        This happened to me as well . So strange. I don’t know how it happened?

        1. Patti
          sunnypatti
          1 month ago

          It was a new security feature they added, but unfortunately it effected lots of us regular users. Should be all good now!

    3. Carol Ann Conner
      Carol Ann Conner
      1 month ago

      I understand and relate, Katrina. I also love this community and give thanks for it everyday. I too want a faith community but it doesn’t exist in my area. In my response to today’s question, I posted a link to Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation. I’m thinking you would relate to it and might find it helpful.

    4. Barb C
      Barb C
      1 month ago

      My local bookstore holds reading groups and I recently participated in the first one. It’s not quite the same as a club with consistent members, but we pretty instantly formed a sense of community thanks to the facilitator (and the book; we read Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering). I’m now going to watch for their groups on other books that interest me. Maybe there’s something like that available in your area? It was great and I love supporting my local independent bookstore.

  11. V
    Valerie Suszynski
    1 month ago

    I am seeking community in multiple places of my life, but I must accept what I may control. There is not much hope for the type of community I wanted in my family, however other ways I have been expanding that is by growing closer with cousins and spending one on one time with that familt vs. trying to unite everyone which was unsuccessful in the past,

    I also seek community in my interests in reptiles and fitness, but I use facebook groups to get closer to that as majority of my friends aren’t into that.

    I also seek community in friendships in general, but I have just been strengthening my current or newer friendships in an effort to adjust that, as it is not that I do not have people in my life, I just do not have many I am close with.

    1. Michele
      Michele
      1 month ago

      I don’t have a sister and I value my close relationship I have with my cousin.

  12. D
    Drea
    1 month ago

    Everyday community in the neighborhood would be nice. I can participate in trash clean ups and neighborhood meetings as a start.

  13. Yram
    Yram
    1 month ago

    This is a timely question for me. I belong to a few groups that meet regularly. Are they community? I have to ponder this more.
    This morning sharing time definitely is community for me. Thank you

  14. Avril
    Avril
    1 month ago

    When I begin my day here, I connect with a community of like-minded individuals. It’s a nice way to move into the world remembering that there are others who are light workers. I live in an area with brutal traffic and it can be aggressive just even getting to work in the morning, so this helps to balance my nervous system. I have very good friends and I’m developing a community in my Qigong teachers training program. My husband lacks community and we were visiting the church in North Georgia, where I was delivering the sermon and he remarked how much it felt like home. I speak their quarterly and every time we go, he makes note of how it feels so good to him. We’re beginning a process of a seven year plan of moving to that area so that we can have a regular relationship instead of an hour and 15 minute drive. We have to let our middle schooler finish her journey without uprooting her but now we can skillfully find our home and make a smooth transition the day she graduates high school.

    1. Michele
      Michele
      1 month ago

      Excited for you – how nice to find that community – time will fly by before you know it.

    2. D
      Drea
      1 month ago

      I like hearing about the home church/community you found, and your long term plan to get there. It’s inspiring.

    3. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Avril, valuing well-being is the first common thread jumping out that links us together here.

  15. D
    Deann
    1 month ago

    I have been realizing that even though I can say I have a lot of friends from different aspects of life, work, working out, neighbors etc. I rarely gather with any group outside of that element.

    I need to start orchestrating time to sit, chat, laugh with some of these people in a relaxed setting.

    1. Michele
      Michele
      1 month ago

      I totally relate to this. For the most part I am a home-body and I am ok with that but do want to get out a bit more.

    2. D
      Drea
      1 month ago

      Grateful Gatherings are wonderful if you have one locally (or are willing to become a host).

    3. L
      Loc Tran
      1 month ago

      Deann, compatible environments make a huge difference in our well-being. It’s why I strongly value compatibility and have a basic desire for common ground when looking for friendships.

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