I loved reading so many answers that reflected on the women’s movement and other freedom fighters. Those were the kinds of “pavers” I thought of first as well. I thank them, and the leaders from whom I have learned so much about privilege, by trying to pave the way for others.
I have been fortunate to have had many human angels in my life, not just one. Truly a blessing. I do pay it forward by helping others the best I can too.
Our lives
are all filled with experiences,
each one different . . .
we’ve all been touched in different ways
both positively and negatively.
Some of the seemingly negative lessons
have turned out to have a positive effect,
so it’s hard to tell
when the wind blows,
what direction it’s coming from,
what it will bring
and what it will take away.
Every person,
every being
who has ever crossed my path,
or I theirs,
has touched me,
shaped me,
made a mark on my in some way.
I bear the prints of so many winds upon me,
body and soul,
that I could never describe
what kind of soup I am today,
it’s such a diverse mix.
When my mother-in-law died
her daughters
chose a casket for her
that was designed to absorb
any finger or hand print that was placed on it,
the theory being
that she would take our touch with her
to the grave.
I touched the casket,
like everyone else did,
but had no faith
that it meant any more
than a higher price tag.
But I did it,
and I assume it still marks its place
down in the deep, dark earth
in a cemetery in Iowa.
As the years continue to go by
I try to find places for all of them,
and especially pull something beautiful and nourishing
out of the ones who have hurt me the most.
Usually
I can find good in them,
for they have made me stronger,
partly by choice
and partly by necessity.
I know I’m still growing,
so I can’t say that they have made me
the person I am today,
for the person I am today
is not finished,
and will continue to change
as challenges come to me in the future.
I thank them all
every day
by paying it forward. ♥
I’m not sure that my path has ever been “paved”.
People have certainly lent a hand. Friends have included me, and that has made a huge difference.
I have made those lists and I have reached out and thanked those people and made sure they knew how much they meant to me. I still make sure they know. My life has not followed anything close to a traditional path. I’ve had to make it up as I went along. It’s absolutely pure luck, that I’m where I’m at now. And now that I’m sitting here thinking about this, my uncle Dave, comes to mind. He was a deeply flawed person, but, he had a curiosity about so many things and an amazing ability to connect with people. Tagging along with him, showed me a way to interact and appreciate people of many different backgrounds.
I also inherited his sense of humor. 😁
He died when I was twenty. Just barely an adult. I would love to sit down and have a long rambling discussion with him. He would be so amazed and upset by so much of what has transpired in the last forty years. So, I will think of my uncle Dave today, as I do most days, and carry on his legacy of curiosity and connection.
I don’t think it was luck at all,
dear Charlie . . .
I don’t believe
that anything
is really random.
I can hear the joy in your voice when you speak of your uncle Dave.
There was a reason he graced your life,
left such an impression,
and remains in your heart
still. ♥
So many…some the author of books, many my ancestors, my mentor (RIP) of 27 years, my son’s love and wisdom, my neighbor who calls me daily and drives me to a spiritual group each month in KC,KS. I thank them by doing my best to Be Open and Willing to grow.
I will send my “thank you’s” list out to the wind that it reaches those still living. As it’s been said here by others, by being the best me, including my foibles, each day, is a way to thank them. I know I stand on msny shoulders. Grateful for ancestors! 🫶🏽☮️
So many women and men who went before me to make sure I could have a space in church leadership into which I was called. But also the men and women who fought valiantly to make sure that it is now a given that women can have credit cards, can vote, can own homes, can hold offices and positions of leadership of all kinds, play sports, healthcare regarding their own bodies, etc. May we continue to work that these rights stay in place. I’m also grateful for the example of my mother who owned her own business, not by desire, but because she had to. However, through that I learned so much about what women are capable of, in spite of what was expected of them in the 60’s and 70’s.
I also began thinking of the many women who fought for rights that came automatically to many men (mostly white men) as ones who paved the way I’ve traveled. It definitely still has bumps and potholes, and we need to keep working to pave it for others.
So many people, in ways big and small. Even the difficult relationships have paved the way, by showing what not to do. It is easier for me to ask: Who is paving the way for me right now? My husband, with his patience and love. My group of fellow travelers as we work together on similar issues. My hand occupational therapist, dealing with a stubborn healing process and doing her best. The author of a Japanese cookbook that is helping me heal my stomach with delicious food. I can write her a letter of thanks, and tell the rest I appreciate them.
I would not be the person I am today with out the support system I have and have had. It is like a big jigsaw puzzle with no missing parts. It is amazing how each piece fits perfectly and is found at the needed time. I think them by being the best creature I can be to myself and others.
Many people have made a near religious fetish of something called “self-reliance.” Most seem to think that while a person may not be responsible for the opportunities (s)he gets in life, each is entirely responsible for what he makes of these opportunities.
This is a false view of the human condition. Consider the biography of any “self-made” American, from Benjamin Franklin on down, and you will find that his or her success was entirely dependent on background conditions that he did not make, and of which he was a mere beneficiary. There is not a person on earth who chose his genome, or the country of his birth, or the political and economic conditions that prevailed. Consequently, no one is independently responsible for their own intelligence, range of talents, or ability to do productive work. If you have struggled to make the most of what Nature gave you, you must still admit that Nature also gave you the ability and inclination to struggle.
We stand on the shoulders and achievements of so many others: parents, siblings, baby-sitters, class mates, HS and college teachers and professors, colleagues, neighbors, politicians, police officers and so on. Simply recognizing that is an awe inspiring thought.
I knew a fellow who once told me we choose our parents before birth. I paused a minute then asked him why would anyone choose parents who were living in the South Sudan, at the time a festering sea of displaced, oppressed, hungry, thirsty, war ravaged human kind. He would or could not answer.
John, you are 100% right. The “self made man” myth is a thin cover for an insecure and frightened population. It’s been exploited for political power here in the USA since Manifest destiny. The old “pulling yourself up by your boot straps” thing. I’ve met so many wealthy people that prescribed to this myth, when their reality couldn’t be further from this. Overlooking all the shoulders that they stand on. All the shoulders that we all stand on.
Thanks for the reminder of all the privilege that has been available to me, just by being born here, at this time, in this skin. 🙏
My deepest thanks to those who have advocated for disability rights. The best way to say thank you is to be aware of my voice and continue to advocate for people with disabilities, both visible and invisible.
My Ngoc, you’re sounding like me there. This aligns perfectly with my behind-the-scenes LT1192 advocacy project for people with autism and mental health struggles, especially focusing more on our culture. This also plays right into my BosLoc empire too. Socialability is needed.
The list is too long to write here. I would like to thank and honor all the women who have fought tirelessly for the rights of all women to be independent and valued. I thank them by continuing the journey because we are not there yet. ♥️
I just typed a long comment, and then the website said I had to be logged in to post it 😂
Everyone has helped pave the way. Those who stood up for themselves and others, who questioned the norms, and who made effort to make life better, whatever better looked like for them or their communities. And also, those who showed me what not to do.
I thank all of them by following my heart, loving myself, and being kind to others and the earth.
“Those who showed me what not to do” reminds me of a quotation from someone I read years ago, that no one is so useless they cannot serve as a bad example.
I was talking with one of my students yesterday about a “life coach” I saw years ago who turned out to be a cult leader. I fortunately did not stay long enough for him to take any hold of my life, but I told my student about him, and he basically said that I learned a lot from that guy. So true. Bad teachers are still teachers!
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My uncle Murray. I need to call him. I have always thanked him for his support and tough love
I loved reading so many answers that reflected on the women’s movement and other freedom fighters. Those were the kinds of “pavers” I thought of first as well. I thank them, and the leaders from whom I have learned so much about privilege, by trying to pave the way for others.
I have been fortunate to have had many human angels in my life, not just one. Truly a blessing. I do pay it forward by helping others the best I can too.
Always a good thing, Robin Ann, lending a hand when one is needed.
Our lives
are all filled with experiences,
each one different . . .
we’ve all been touched in different ways
both positively and negatively.
Some of the seemingly negative lessons
have turned out to have a positive effect,
so it’s hard to tell
when the wind blows,
what direction it’s coming from,
what it will bring
and what it will take away.
Every person,
every being
who has ever crossed my path,
or I theirs,
has touched me,
shaped me,
made a mark on my in some way.
I bear the prints of so many winds upon me,
body and soul,
that I could never describe
what kind of soup I am today,
it’s such a diverse mix.
When my mother-in-law died
her daughters
chose a casket for her
that was designed to absorb
any finger or hand print that was placed on it,
the theory being
that she would take our touch with her
to the grave.
I touched the casket,
like everyone else did,
but had no faith
that it meant any more
than a higher price tag.
But I did it,
and I assume it still marks its place
down in the deep, dark earth
in a cemetery in Iowa.
As the years continue to go by
I try to find places for all of them,
and especially pull something beautiful and nourishing
out of the ones who have hurt me the most.
Usually
I can find good in them,
for they have made me stronger,
partly by choice
and partly by necessity.
I know I’m still growing,
so I can’t say that they have made me
the person I am today,
for the person I am today
is not finished,
and will continue to change
as challenges come to me in the future.
I thank them all
every day
by paying it forward. ♥
” . . . . that it meant any more
than a higher price tag.”
Reminds me of the marketing so many different consumer products / ideologies in our world, dear Sparrow.
I think about this
every time I turn on the television,
dear Joseph . . .
what are we paying for
when we buy these products? ♥
I’m not sure that my path has ever been “paved”.
People have certainly lent a hand. Friends have included me, and that has made a huge difference.
I have made those lists and I have reached out and thanked those people and made sure they knew how much they meant to me. I still make sure they know. My life has not followed anything close to a traditional path. I’ve had to make it up as I went along. It’s absolutely pure luck, that I’m where I’m at now. And now that I’m sitting here thinking about this, my uncle Dave, comes to mind. He was a deeply flawed person, but, he had a curiosity about so many things and an amazing ability to connect with people. Tagging along with him, showed me a way to interact and appreciate people of many different backgrounds.
I also inherited his sense of humor. 😁
He died when I was twenty. Just barely an adult. I would love to sit down and have a long rambling discussion with him. He would be so amazed and upset by so much of what has transpired in the last forty years. So, I will think of my uncle Dave today, as I do most days, and carry on his legacy of curiosity and connection.
Just beautiful, Charlie.♥️
I believe I would enjoy just such a discussion with your uncle Dave, Charlie. ☀️
I don’t think it was luck at all,
dear Charlie . . .
I don’t believe
that anything
is really random.
I can hear the joy in your voice when you speak of your uncle Dave.
There was a reason he graced your life,
left such an impression,
and remains in your heart
still. ♥
So many…some the author of books, many my ancestors, my mentor (RIP) of 27 years, my son’s love and wisdom, my neighbor who calls me daily and drives me to a spiritual group each month in KC,KS. I thank them by doing my best to Be Open and Willing to grow.
Carol Ann, such a beautiful and life-giving tribute, « by doing my best, and being Open and Willing to grow. »♥️
I will send my “thank you’s” list out to the wind that it reaches those still living. As it’s been said here by others, by being the best me, including my foibles, each day, is a way to thank them. I know I stand on msny shoulders. Grateful for ancestors! 🫶🏽☮️
So many women and men who went before me to make sure I could have a space in church leadership into which I was called. But also the men and women who fought valiantly to make sure that it is now a given that women can have credit cards, can vote, can own homes, can hold offices and positions of leadership of all kinds, play sports, healthcare regarding their own bodies, etc. May we continue to work that these rights stay in place. I’m also grateful for the example of my mother who owned her own business, not by desire, but because she had to. However, through that I learned so much about what women are capable of, in spite of what was expected of them in the 60’s and 70’s.
I also began thinking of the many women who fought for rights that came automatically to many men (mostly white men) as ones who paved the way I’ve traveled. It definitely still has bumps and potholes, and we need to keep working to pave it for others.
So many people, in ways big and small. Even the difficult relationships have paved the way, by showing what not to do. It is easier for me to ask: Who is paving the way for me right now? My husband, with his patience and love. My group of fellow travelers as we work together on similar issues. My hand occupational therapist, dealing with a stubborn healing process and doing her best. The author of a Japanese cookbook that is helping me heal my stomach with delicious food. I can write her a letter of thanks, and tell the rest I appreciate them.
May the stubbornness in the healing process of your hand subside, Drea.
Thanks Joseph. It’s teaching me to cultivate patience, that’s for sure.
I would not be the person I am today with out the support system I have and have had. It is like a big jigsaw puzzle with no missing parts. It is amazing how each piece fits perfectly and is found at the needed time. I think them by being the best creature I can be to myself and others.
. . . the very best gift you can give them,
dear Yram. ♥
Thanking someone by being the best person you can to yourself and others … this is a profound idea and I’m going to reflect on it. Thanks Yram.
Many people have made a near religious fetish of something called “self-reliance.” Most seem to think that while a person may not be responsible for the opportunities (s)he gets in life, each is entirely responsible for what he makes of these opportunities.
This is a false view of the human condition. Consider the biography of any “self-made” American, from Benjamin Franklin on down, and you will find that his or her success was entirely dependent on background conditions that he did not make, and of which he was a mere beneficiary. There is not a person on earth who chose his genome, or the country of his birth, or the political and economic conditions that prevailed. Consequently, no one is independently responsible for their own intelligence, range of talents, or ability to do productive work. If you have struggled to make the most of what Nature gave you, you must still admit that Nature also gave you the ability and inclination to struggle.
We stand on the shoulders and achievements of so many others: parents, siblings, baby-sitters, class mates, HS and college teachers and professors, colleagues, neighbors, politicians, police officers and so on. Simply recognizing that is an awe inspiring thought.
Thank you for keeping it real, John.♥️
Thank you John
So true! Thank you, John.
I knew a fellow who once told me we choose our parents before birth. I paused a minute then asked him why would anyone choose parents who were living in the South Sudan, at the time a festering sea of displaced, oppressed, hungry, thirsty, war ravaged human kind. He would or could not answer.
Good point, Joseph.
Well said,
dear John,
and powerfully put forth.
If we forget this important truth
our ‘success’
is forever tainted.
Namaste. ♥
John, you are 100% right. The “self made man” myth is a thin cover for an insecure and frightened population. It’s been exploited for political power here in the USA since Manifest destiny. The old “pulling yourself up by your boot straps” thing. I’ve met so many wealthy people that prescribed to this myth, when their reality couldn’t be further from this. Overlooking all the shoulders that they stand on. All the shoulders that we all stand on.
Thanks for the reminder of all the privilege that has been available to me, just by being born here, at this time, in this skin. 🙏
I’m with you,
dear Charlie . . . . ♥
My deepest thanks to those who have advocated for disability rights. The best way to say thank you is to be aware of my voice and continue to advocate for people with disabilities, both visible and invisible.
My Ngoc, you’re sounding like me there. This aligns perfectly with my behind-the-scenes LT1192 advocacy project for people with autism and mental health struggles, especially focusing more on our culture. This also plays right into my BosLoc empire too. Socialability is needed.
The list is too long to write here. I would like to thank and honor all the women who have fought tirelessly for the rights of all women to be independent and valued. I thank them by continuing the journey because we are not there yet. ♥️
Amen to that.
I just typed a long comment, and then the website said I had to be logged in to post it 😂
Everyone has helped pave the way. Those who stood up for themselves and others, who questioned the norms, and who made effort to make life better, whatever better looked like for them or their communities. And also, those who showed me what not to do.
I thank all of them by following my heart, loving myself, and being kind to others and the earth.
“Those who showed me what not to do” reminds me of a quotation from someone I read years ago, that no one is so useless they cannot serve as a bad example.
I was talking with one of my students yesterday about a “life coach” I saw years ago who turned out to be a cult leader. I fortunately did not stay long enough for him to take any hold of my life, but I told my student about him, and he basically said that I learned a lot from that guy. So true. Bad teachers are still teachers!
Many people – and I make sure I always say my ‘thank yous and my ‘I love yous’
Thank you and love to you Michele. Your reflections have buoyed me may times over the past four years.
💗🤗 thank you Joseph.