My Mother’s long time friend Nan, she has been like a step Mother to me since my Mother died 23 yrs ago.
I express my gratitude always and make an effort every year to visit her on Cape Cod, we fb message almost on a daily basis : )
I feel it in some ways it has been a solitary journey … except when I remember (or notice) the Ruah. It is that breath, that mysterious happening – the inhale and exhale that stays with me no matter how turbulent and chaotic the waters seem to be. It is the Ruah.
It’s not what I want to share (for a couple of reasons) and I’m finding myself really resisting the “Post Comment” button – which just feels like a reason to press it … the answer is “me”.
It doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been help along the way. There have been writers and books every step of the journey. It just means that my life has seemingly lacked a person or group that wanted to see me thrive. I’ve certainly played a part in this. Whether it was an inability to communicate, an aversion to being a burden, not seeing myself as valuable enough to receive help. At various points in my life all of those things have been true. But there’s no blame or guilt to go around, for me, or anyone in my life. If I identify the people I have looked to for this help, they’ve all had their own situations to work through as well. Loss, fear, grief, exhaustion.
But to answer this question in a way that feels honest, it’s me – and it’s me that deserves gratitude. I can express this to myself through love and by continuing to purposefully carve out the space for me to exist. By taking an objective look at who I am and where I’m headed. And in response to any pain that my exist, I can dissolve it by showing up for anyone else who could use someone when they need it. Giving both of us an opportunity to feel that support.
As I think about this I’m recognizing that I don’t often let others know if I’m having a dark day. I’m naturally an optimist but that doesn’t have to mean failing to acknowledge feelings that arise. It’s knowing that they arise and then pass that helps me rekindle my own inner light and I’m grateful for the writers whose teachings have helped me grow in this way. I recognize that I don’t have to perpetuate the darkness.
This morning I’ve been reading Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chödrön. Some lines from that: “It isn’t the content of our movie that needs our attention; it’s the projector. It isn’t the current story line that’s the root of our pain; it’s our propensity to be bothered in the first place.”
I also appreciate two very good friends and my younger sister, all of whom are the ones I do share those dark moments with at times. I saw one of them just yesterday; this is a good reminder to reach out to the other two.
This is also reminding me to reach out to a friend who is going through her own dark days. Maybe I can help with some rekindling. She has taken a very brave stand as a whistleblower and it has resulted in the loss of her job because she stood up and spoke out for her values and on behalf of people being harmed by the actions of an agency. I’ve already texted her and told her she’s a role model for living her values. Today I’ll call and see if I can talk with her.
Thank you for your post, Barb. I also tend to keep my dark days to myself but also recognize that I should be ok with sharing my feelings with others. Additionally, I have two sisters I am eternally grateful for who have been lifesavers for me in rough times.
Two spiritual directors, who helped me in difficult times. A doctor who figured out a diagnosis and saved my life. My daughters and their partners. I have absolutely expressed my gratitude, and carry that gratitude within me always.
Friends have been crucial, but not
exactly in that way. I have mostly
had to seek them out. I think books
that have appeared at just the right
time have been so helpful. Pema Chodron’s
books being the latest. The truth is, I
have pulled myself out of some very
dark and deep wells. It’s been this way
since forever.
Something just occurred while writing
this (as it often does), my friend that
sent me the link to this site was like
a spark of light, just when I needed it.
The wisdom that is expressed here is
profound. I am quite used to it now,
but I remember being really touched
by the expressions of support and
the honesty. I will send a thank you
to my friend and I want to thank all
of you. 🙏
You inspire me Charlie, I thank you! A loved one is going through a very hard time, your comments make think of him. When I see your answers it inspires me to connect with him in a different way. Thank you!
Throughout my years I have collected several quotes that were meaningful at the time and complied them in a book. The authors are from famous well known to a young student. When I am in a dark place, I will randomly read them. I say thank you!
This group also adds comfort!
I love that you share these national days. I will have to pet Tiggs short for Tigger, also known as Mr. Stripey Pants and many other nicknames, in celebration of this significant holiday. He’s already had a treat and a petting for being a good boy and using his scratching post instead of the nearby chair.
Yesterday for National Chocolate Day I had a couple of pieces of Taza chocolate. It has this wonderful slightly sandy quality that may not sound good, I know, but that I really like. It’s one of the companies on the list of producers of ethically sourced chocolate https://www.slavefreechocolate.org/ethical-chocolate-companies.
After my bike crash, I saw many health care professionals. The individuals who gave me hope, confidence, and never doubted my ability to regain my strength, motor functions, and confidence in myself were and are my physical therapists. They have educated me, pushed me, listened to me and very insightfully, let me know when it was my brain holding me up, not my body. I have voiced my appreciation many times during the process. “It hurts so good,” was a regular thank you in the beginning! Both of my PT’s love good food, so on Halloween, this Tuesday, I will take them homemade banana bread, a secret recipe:). Through their chatting, I’ve learned they are confiseurs of banana breads and muffins! All this to say, these 2 youngsters gave me faith and hope during some uncertain times.
I hear you! I broke my left elbow in a bike crash and then got a frozen shoulder. PT was everything in regaining my mobility and range of motion. It’s like magic as long as we do what we need to.
I relate, Mary. After my hip replacement, the trainer helped me push just enough to build strength but not so much that it would set me back.
Hope your rehab continues to go well.
I cannot think of any one person who has rekindled my life when in darkness. I would say that at different times…it was different people…and at times I was also alone and had to cope and find the light in life on my own. Sometimes it is difficult to get out of that darkness- but thankfully; that is not so in my life today. I have light and happiness and gratitude. I am happy to be in this world with all its flaws. Blessings for a good Sunday.
The universe with all its wonder, beauty and the fact that I am a conscious part of it for a time, no matter how small or relatively short lived, in comparison to other aspects of this great universe.
During my dark days, suffering people rekindle my inner light. Listening to their stories, looking at their difficulties, I am aware that I will never be the most suffering person in the world. There are people facing darkness in life, however many of them chose not to give up. Me too! It may a bit wired to say that suffering people help me stay positive in darkness. Expressing my gratitude to suffering people means to express my gratitude to the small world around me: nothing is better than maintaining living healthily and being helpful to other people in need to overcome their difficult moments.
The meditation method of letting go of my false mind world to live with truth has helped me. The helpers in the meditation method have been super supportive and helped me to learn how to lean on the meditation method to go to the inner light within.
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My Mother’s long time friend Nan, she has been like a step Mother to me since my Mother died 23 yrs ago.
I express my gratitude always and make an effort every year to visit her on Cape Cod, we fb message almost on a daily basis : )
I feel it in some ways it has been a solitary journey … except when I remember (or notice) the Ruah. It is that breath, that mysterious happening – the inhale and exhale that stays with me no matter how turbulent and chaotic the waters seem to be. It is the Ruah.
It’s not what I want to share (for a couple of reasons) and I’m finding myself really resisting the “Post Comment” button – which just feels like a reason to press it … the answer is “me”.
It doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been help along the way. There have been writers and books every step of the journey. It just means that my life has seemingly lacked a person or group that wanted to see me thrive. I’ve certainly played a part in this. Whether it was an inability to communicate, an aversion to being a burden, not seeing myself as valuable enough to receive help. At various points in my life all of those things have been true. But there’s no blame or guilt to go around, for me, or anyone in my life. If I identify the people I have looked to for this help, they’ve all had their own situations to work through as well. Loss, fear, grief, exhaustion.
But to answer this question in a way that feels honest, it’s me – and it’s me that deserves gratitude. I can express this to myself through love and by continuing to purposefully carve out the space for me to exist. By taking an objective look at who I am and where I’m headed. And in response to any pain that my exist, I can dissolve it by showing up for anyone else who could use someone when they need it. Giving both of us an opportunity to feel that support.
Thank you for the support ❤️ 🙏
This is just wonderful. Thank you so much!
This is a powerful answer. Thank you for entrusting it to us.
As I think about this I’m recognizing that I don’t often let others know if I’m having a dark day. I’m naturally an optimist but that doesn’t have to mean failing to acknowledge feelings that arise. It’s knowing that they arise and then pass that helps me rekindle my own inner light and I’m grateful for the writers whose teachings have helped me grow in this way. I recognize that I don’t have to perpetuate the darkness.
This morning I’ve been reading Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chödrön. Some lines from that: “It isn’t the content of our movie that needs our attention; it’s the projector. It isn’t the current story line that’s the root of our pain; it’s our propensity to be bothered in the first place.”
I also appreciate two very good friends and my younger sister, all of whom are the ones I do share those dark moments with at times. I saw one of them just yesterday; this is a good reminder to reach out to the other two.
This is also reminding me to reach out to a friend who is going through her own dark days. Maybe I can help with some rekindling. She has taken a very brave stand as a whistleblower and it has resulted in the loss of her job because she stood up and spoke out for her values and on behalf of people being harmed by the actions of an agency. I’ve already texted her and told her she’s a role model for living her values. Today I’ll call and see if I can talk with her.
Thank you for your post, Barb. I also tend to keep my dark days to myself but also recognize that I should be ok with sharing my feelings with others. Additionally, I have two sisters I am eternally grateful for who have been lifesavers for me in rough times.
guess what, there is a National Sisters Day – first Sunday in August, so next year it will be Aug 4th 2024
Two spiritual directors, who helped me in difficult times. A doctor who figured out a diagnosis and saved my life. My daughters and their partners. I have absolutely expressed my gratitude, and carry that gratitude within me always.
Friends have been crucial, but not
exactly in that way. I have mostly
had to seek them out. I think books
that have appeared at just the right
time have been so helpful. Pema Chodron’s
books being the latest. The truth is, I
have pulled myself out of some very
dark and deep wells. It’s been this way
since forever.
Something just occurred while writing
this (as it often does), my friend that
sent me the link to this site was like
a spark of light, just when I needed it.
The wisdom that is expressed here is
profound. I am quite used to it now,
but I remember being really touched
by the expressions of support and
the honesty. I will send a thank you
to my friend and I want to thank all
of you. 🙏
You inspire me Charlie, I thank you! A loved one is going through a very hard time, your comments make think of him. When I see your answers it inspires me to connect with him in a different way. Thank you!
Throughout my years I have collected several quotes that were meaningful at the time and complied them in a book. The authors are from famous well known to a young student. When I am in a dark place, I will randomly read them. I say thank you!
This group also adds comfort!
The collective wisdom expressed here has helped me see many difficulties with new perspectives. Thank you, everyone, for your wide-hearted sharing.
my cat – and today is National Cat Day so extra pets and snacks for her today. 🐈
I love that you share these national days. I will have to pet Tiggs short for Tigger, also known as Mr. Stripey Pants and many other nicknames, in celebration of this significant holiday. He’s already had a treat and a petting for being a good boy and using his scratching post instead of the nearby chair.
Yesterday for National Chocolate Day I had a couple of pieces of Taza chocolate. It has this wonderful slightly sandy quality that may not sound good, I know, but that I really like. It’s one of the companies on the list of producers of ethically sourced chocolate https://www.slavefreechocolate.org/ethical-chocolate-companies.
Thank you Barb for sharing the link 🙂
After my bike crash, I saw many health care professionals. The individuals who gave me hope, confidence, and never doubted my ability to regain my strength, motor functions, and confidence in myself were and are my physical therapists. They have educated me, pushed me, listened to me and very insightfully, let me know when it was my brain holding me up, not my body. I have voiced my appreciation many times during the process. “It hurts so good,” was a regular thank you in the beginning! Both of my PT’s love good food, so on Halloween, this Tuesday, I will take them homemade banana bread, a secret recipe:). Through their chatting, I’ve learned they are confiseurs of banana breads and muffins! All this to say, these 2 youngsters gave me faith and hope during some uncertain times.
I hear you! I broke my left elbow in a bike crash and then got a frozen shoulder. PT was everything in regaining my mobility and range of motion. It’s like magic as long as we do what we need to.
Angels in your life. Continue on that healing road.
🙏
I relate, Mary. After my hip replacement, the trainer helped me push just enough to build strength but not so much that it would set me back.
Hope your rehab continues to go well.
I cannot think of any one person who has rekindled my life when in darkness. I would say that at different times…it was different people…and at times I was also alone and had to cope and find the light in life on my own. Sometimes it is difficult to get out of that darkness- but thankfully; that is not so in my life today. I have light and happiness and gratitude. I am happy to be in this world with all its flaws. Blessings for a good Sunday.
🙏
The universe with all its wonder, beauty and the fact that I am a conscious part of it for a time, no matter how small or relatively short lived, in comparison to other aspects of this great universe.
During my dark days, suffering people rekindle my inner light. Listening to their stories, looking at their difficulties, I am aware that I will never be the most suffering person in the world. There are people facing darkness in life, however many of them chose not to give up. Me too! It may a bit wired to say that suffering people help me stay positive in darkness. Expressing my gratitude to suffering people means to express my gratitude to the small world around me: nothing is better than maintaining living healthily and being helpful to other people in need to overcome their difficult moments.
The meditation method of letting go of my false mind world to live with truth has helped me. The helpers in the meditation method have been super supportive and helped me to learn how to lean on the meditation method to go to the inner light within.
Time spent with children rekindles my inner light on my darkest days and I express my true gratitude with warm hugs and loving words.