Oh boy. I know some pretty amazing humans.
Including my wife. Who is so good at getting the help she needs. Even when dealing with very challenging issues. I’ve definitely learned to be more persistent and resourceful from her.
Resilience seems to be a key ingredient in living a fulfilling and engaged life. I think some of the stuff I’ve learned has helped me to be more likely to bounce back from disappointments, failures, and the inevitable setbacks.
I feel like resourcefulness and persistence should be named and prized more often in our culture. I’ve met so many resourceful, persistent people, and their skills go unnoticed in the broader conversation.
My ancestors were rich in resilience . . .
they made the long and perilous journey across the land
and then the sea
to come to this country.
Later,
some pioneered their way across spring fed rivers on rafts
and over blazing hot prairies
to find opportunity and room to breathe.
Some caught the gold fever,
and disappeared into the mountains of the west,
at least one
sought out the desert,
seeking salvation,
and was also never heard from again.
Others did the dangerous job
of working with the Underground Railroad,
hiding slaves
and doing the best they could
to help free them from bondage.
Over the years though,
life became easier,
I suppose,
and family became content
where they were.
They dealt with all of the usual domestic tragedies
and moved on.
In the fifties,
all of the relatives I was aware of
lived pretty cookie cutter lives
and followed the rules of society
without a fuss . . .
they were fortunate.
It is from the stories of others
that I have heard and read
of the resilience of people
who have faced terrible odds
and have not only survived,
but have thrived,
although not all of them.
Those who died,
did so
with dignity and grace.
I have always loved these stories,
and look for them
in the films I watch
and the books I read,
for right now,
I can’t say I know anyone personally
who has gone through true hell
and come out the other side.
Is it because I diminish other’s suffering?
I don’t know,
but on my journey towards wellness
I felt a terrible guilt
when drowning in my own grief and pain,
to think of the people over the centuries
who have been tortured,
maimed and slaughtered by the thousands,
the hundreds of thousands,
the millions.
I felt that I could not lift my face up to the sky
with my own measly sorrow and shame.
I now know
that there is no real comparing of pain . . .
it all deserves an effort of resilience.
A person
can wither away
from a seemingly trivial loss,
or find a way to get out of bed
and rise above it.
But it’s all hard.
I admire those who can do this,
and am inspired by their strength and courage,
but I also feel a deep tenderness
for those who can’t.
I’ve lived in both pairs of moccasins
so I see it both ways now. ♥
I taught myself. Through trial and error (lots of error), I built my resiliency and am stronger and wiser now because of it.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads! I’m grateful for mine, taking me as his own when he married my mom almost 46 years ago. Too bad he never answers his phone so that I could tell him I love him 😂 He will be getting a card if he didn’t get it already.
Happy International Yoga Day to all on the path and all who enjoy the practice 🕉️
And Happy Summer Solstice! My favorite time of year ☀️
Not necessarily who, but what… as my medical situation at birth was life threatening due to what is called Rhesus- incompatibility which was untreatable at that time. The red blood cells are destroyed by antibodies against the blood conveyed by the mother and many newborns died, while many other babies survived this basal threat.
What made the difference medically is unknown until today. So on a very basic physiological level, I managed to survive this and my body had built resilience. It laid the physical foundation for me to be able to draw on some unknown strength when in doubt, which helps then. Inside me, this is somehow linked to a kind of intuition or may be gut instinct, depending on the level of the issue at hand. Something which appears rather than that I “do” something and it is the same with the being in the moment for creativity – or not- it is there out of the blue. A kind of “creative resilience” may be, a precious gift of this crucial moment of survival.
Another result of this unfortunately was imprinted fear of death, which could be there at times if triggered by signals similar to the several months of preverbal isolation in a lonely glass case of a clinic far away from my family and covered by compensation mechanisms so well for survival and even unrecognized by myself for a long time. This led to terrible decisions and automatic reactions of flight, fight or freeze in order to avoid to ever feel this preverbal- so without being able to give it a name – crucial inner terror and despair again.
It subsided to the largest part or even fully after the most difficult time of my life through facing this inner terror again and angain and again, until realizing as if located in the deepest cells of my body what was lingering inside as a phantom and needed all my strength to face it again and again until letting go was possible. Without the enormous support and help of many dear friends, loved ones, teachers during life time and nowadays, as well as you here, this I am sure of would never have been possible. So I thank you all dearly, from my heart to you dear ones and all concerned who so kindly supported facing it.
I am sure,
dear Ose,
that you have heard of ‘phantom pain’
that happens after someone has lost a limb.
The person
sometimes feels extreme pain
in the arm or the leg that is no longer there . . .
unexplainable maybe,
but the presence of it is real.
Your telling of the unverbalized fear
makes me think of that.
Thank goodness you are here now,
healthy and strong and wise,
among us.
I am grateful for you. ((( ♥ )))
I share a meditation from my 2010 journal
Womb Love
As good and wonderful as my mother was, I sense that her pregnancy with me came at a time of great insecurity for her. Her womb was not warm and welcoming. Perhaps, that is what one would describe as primal abandonment—a sense of being unwanted. Add to that the fact that I was what in those days was called a “blue baby.” My father’s blood was A negative and my mother’s blood was O positive. Her blood was attacking mine and a baby born in such circumstances was in a battle to survive. Medically there was no life saving treatment.
As an adult, I still struggle with those abandonment issues. Once when I was lamenting this struggle, my spiritual mentor said, “You need to remember that you were always there for you.”
When I took that statement into prayer, I could see the little girl in me and feel her pain but also her resilience. Paradoxically, she is and always has been my weakness and my strength. She has always dwelt in the center of my abandonment wound and I have no doubt that she has shown tremendous courage.
At another meeting with my spiritual advisor, he said, “Carol, please understand that there is a part of you that has never been afraid; that has never been touched by your abandonment issues. You can call it forth at any time and it will pick up that little girl and comfort her; it will tell that fear-filled bully who lives in your head to sit down and hush. No matter what has triggered your feelings of abandonment, your biggest battle will always be within.”
As I pondered his words and applied the wisdom they offered me, I learned that those of us who live with abandonment issues must embrace the pain they generate; we must offer shelter and comfort to the fearful but resilient inner child who experienced that abandonment. We must have compassion for his/her struggle. When we do this, we love the fear to death. We must do this over and over until the day when we experience an inner resurrection, a true release; we must exercise this compassionate self-love until the day when our being knows a womb’s love.
You might have felt you were your own worst enemy,
dear Carol Ann,
but in truth,
I believe you are your own best friend . . .
it’s just taken some time
for you to realize that.
What a gift.
As I am with Ose,
I am grateful you are here today. ((( ♥ )))
My mom went through a lot. In the late 70s, she was in jail for 2 years from the Vietnam war. Later on, she was the one who uplifted my family whether it’s me getting hospitalized for my manic bipolar episodes for a few months in 2004 and a week in August of 2019, my dad suffering from multiple mialoma in 2022, or her dealing with breast cancer late in 2023 early 2024. She has maintained a positive attitude through it all.
When one sits and listens to other people’s stories as I have throughout my career, it is truly amazing that most of us are still getting out of bed every day, going to work, going out into the garden, going for a run, caring for others, doing whatever it is we do. There are so many reasons any one of us could stay in bed, pull the covers up and linger there for who knows how long. And certainly we have all developed our own coping mechanisms for managing through our grief, pain, anger, hurt, disillusionments, disappointments, – some better than others. But nonetheless – resilience is both a gift, though one has to want it; and a skill, one has to work at it. I have one friend whose style of resilience is just to push through; another went to individual grief therapy; another has just set her mind to stay positive and stay busy, be grateful, pray daily and laugh often. Whatever it looks like for you or me, I think it means tending to your own soul. And I have learned that from many and myself.
The person that came to mind was my maternal grandmother. Looking back on her life, and unfortunately I never asked questions, she lost two daughters and had 3 sons in the war. After my mother died at an early age, she mothered both my brother and myself.
Lots of human and more-than-human teachers here.
The ocean: relax into turmoil.
Bristlecone pine: let rocky soil and wind be your sculptor, let difficulty be the mistress of longevity.
Trail running: yes, you can keep going through some seriously unpleasant sensations.
My old yoga teacher: don’t take the machinations of your mind seriously.
Music: sing it out, play it out, dance it out.
Grief teachers: you can walk with grief without it flooding you.
I love the idea of using nature as an example of resilience. Today, on my bike ride, I spent a few minutes admiring a Madrone tree, that had been through a fire, apparently, and about half of it died, and had adapted its Cambrian layer into what looked like two very large veins that kept the rest of the tree alive.
We marveled at nature’s extreme desire to continue.
My mom is the very first person who taught me about resilience in the face of difficulty. She didn’t grow up with hardship. In contrast, her childhood was quite materialistically comfortable. Despite this, she faced life’s challenges with adaptability and resilience. I love her and admire her.
All the people around me have been supportive in many ways big and small. I could start with this amazing country and the supportive health care system for one !
I don’t know would have happened to me with without a system that takes care of its people. I’m grateful to have health care and hospitals that provide quality care.
I make it sound as if I’m always sick but chronic migraines took me away from my 25 years teaching middle schoolers and that wasn’t my plan because I love teenagers and my job.
Im grateful to the people who all over the world do this meditation and all the helpers who have helped me through the levels and taught me how to let go. This past five years of meditation and meeting all these people at different centres has changed my life.
I’m so eternally grateful. Thank you universe.
I, too, suffered with severe migraines for about 20 years. I almost had to go on disability, before finally finding a neurologist who treated me both kindly and with a comprehensive treatment of infusions, physical therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and occupational therapy, plus a preventative medication. Gratitude does not even begin to describe what it means to get my life back. But it is the only word I have.
I’m glad you’re getting good care for your migraines, Antoinette, and that you have so much love and support. Migraines do not mess around and it seems like you’re handling the twists and turns they’ve brought with grace and consciousness.
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Oh boy. I know some pretty amazing humans.
Including my wife. Who is so good at getting the help she needs. Even when dealing with very challenging issues. I’ve definitely learned to be more persistent and resourceful from her.
Resilience seems to be a key ingredient in living a fulfilling and engaged life. I think some of the stuff I’ve learned has helped me to be more likely to bounce back from disappointments, failures, and the inevitable setbacks.
I feel like resourcefulness and persistence should be named and prized more often in our culture. I’ve met so many resourceful, persistent people, and their skills go unnoticed in the broader conversation.
I taught myself for the most part. I would also think of my Mom who would say” Always get back up after you fall, brush yourself off and carry on” .
Happy Father’s day to all the Dad’s out there.
I had my outpatient surgery on Thursday and starting to feel better thank goodness!
Good to hear you are feeling better Robin Ann. 🤗❤️
Glad you’re healing well, Robin Ann.
It’s good to hear,
dear Robin,
that all went well with your procedure,
and I hope that soon
you are back on your feet. ♥
Glad you’re feeling better!
Continue healing to you and a speedy recovery.
Good to hear your healing is progressing, Robin Ann.
My ancestors were rich in resilience . . .
they made the long and perilous journey across the land
and then the sea
to come to this country.
Later,
some pioneered their way across spring fed rivers on rafts
and over blazing hot prairies
to find opportunity and room to breathe.
Some caught the gold fever,
and disappeared into the mountains of the west,
at least one
sought out the desert,
seeking salvation,
and was also never heard from again.
Others did the dangerous job
of working with the Underground Railroad,
hiding slaves
and doing the best they could
to help free them from bondage.
Over the years though,
life became easier,
I suppose,
and family became content
where they were.
They dealt with all of the usual domestic tragedies
and moved on.
In the fifties,
all of the relatives I was aware of
lived pretty cookie cutter lives
and followed the rules of society
without a fuss . . .
they were fortunate.
It is from the stories of others
that I have heard and read
of the resilience of people
who have faced terrible odds
and have not only survived,
but have thrived,
although not all of them.
Those who died,
did so
with dignity and grace.
I have always loved these stories,
and look for them
in the films I watch
and the books I read,
for right now,
I can’t say I know anyone personally
who has gone through true hell
and come out the other side.
Is it because I diminish other’s suffering?
I don’t know,
but on my journey towards wellness
I felt a terrible guilt
when drowning in my own grief and pain,
to think of the people over the centuries
who have been tortured,
maimed and slaughtered by the thousands,
the hundreds of thousands,
the millions.
I felt that I could not lift my face up to the sky
with my own measly sorrow and shame.
I now know
that there is no real comparing of pain . . .
it all deserves an effort of resilience.
A person
can wither away
from a seemingly trivial loss,
or find a way to get out of bed
and rise above it.
But it’s all hard.
I admire those who can do this,
and am inspired by their strength and courage,
but I also feel a deep tenderness
for those who can’t.
I’ve lived in both pairs of moccasins
so I see it both ways now. ♥
I’ve met people who have gone through true hell, gained material wealth, and stayed in hell. I think it’s really hard to come out the other side!
Me, myself & I.
I am thankful for all my experiences, good, bad, all of them. 🙏🏻
Happy Father’s Day to All the Dads.🩷
I taught myself. Through trial and error (lots of error), I built my resiliency and am stronger and wiser now because of it.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads! I’m grateful for mine, taking me as his own when he married my mom almost 46 years ago. Too bad he never answers his phone so that I could tell him I love him 😂 He will be getting a card if he didn’t get it already.
Happy International Yoga Day to all on the path and all who enjoy the practice 🕉️
And Happy Summer Solstice! My favorite time of year ☀️
”He will be getting a card if he didn’t get it already”
Keep the faith,
dear SunnyPatti . . .
don’t give up. ♥
I’m not talking about the birth father, but my dad, the man who raised me. He deserves the fun card I sent him!
Happy International Yoga Day to you too
Sunnypatti. 🧘♀️🩷
And Happy Summer Solstice.☀️
Not necessarily who, but what… as my medical situation at birth was life threatening due to what is called Rhesus- incompatibility which was untreatable at that time. The red blood cells are destroyed by antibodies against the blood conveyed by the mother and many newborns died, while many other babies survived this basal threat.
What made the difference medically is unknown until today. So on a very basic physiological level, I managed to survive this and my body had built resilience. It laid the physical foundation for me to be able to draw on some unknown strength when in doubt, which helps then. Inside me, this is somehow linked to a kind of intuition or may be gut instinct, depending on the level of the issue at hand. Something which appears rather than that I “do” something and it is the same with the being in the moment for creativity – or not- it is there out of the blue. A kind of “creative resilience” may be, a precious gift of this crucial moment of survival.
Another result of this unfortunately was imprinted fear of death, which could be there at times if triggered by signals similar to the several months of preverbal isolation in a lonely glass case of a clinic far away from my family and covered by compensation mechanisms so well for survival and even unrecognized by myself for a long time. This led to terrible decisions and automatic reactions of flight, fight or freeze in order to avoid to ever feel this preverbal- so without being able to give it a name – crucial inner terror and despair again.
It subsided to the largest part or even fully after the most difficult time of my life through facing this inner terror again and angain and again, until realizing as if located in the deepest cells of my body what was lingering inside as a phantom and needed all my strength to face it again and again until letting go was possible. Without the enormous support and help of many dear friends, loved ones, teachers during life time and nowadays, as well as you here, this I am sure of would never have been possible. So I thank you all dearly, from my heart to you dear ones and all concerned who so kindly supported facing it.
Namaste, dear Ose.
I am sure,
dear Ose,
that you have heard of ‘phantom pain’
that happens after someone has lost a limb.
The person
sometimes feels extreme pain
in the arm or the leg that is no longer there . . .
unexplainable maybe,
but the presence of it is real.
Your telling of the unverbalized fear
makes me think of that.
Thank goodness you are here now,
healthy and strong and wise,
among us.
I am grateful for you. ((( ♥ )))
I share a meditation from my 2010 journal
Womb Love
As good and wonderful as my mother was, I sense that her pregnancy with me came at a time of great insecurity for her. Her womb was not warm and welcoming. Perhaps, that is what one would describe as primal abandonment—a sense of being unwanted. Add to that the fact that I was what in those days was called a “blue baby.” My father’s blood was A negative and my mother’s blood was O positive. Her blood was attacking mine and a baby born in such circumstances was in a battle to survive. Medically there was no life saving treatment.
As an adult, I still struggle with those abandonment issues. Once when I was lamenting this struggle, my spiritual mentor said, “You need to remember that you were always there for you.”
When I took that statement into prayer, I could see the little girl in me and feel her pain but also her resilience. Paradoxically, she is and always has been my weakness and my strength. She has always dwelt in the center of my abandonment wound and I have no doubt that she has shown tremendous courage.
At another meeting with my spiritual advisor, he said, “Carol, please understand that there is a part of you that has never been afraid; that has never been touched by your abandonment issues. You can call it forth at any time and it will pick up that little girl and comfort her; it will tell that fear-filled bully who lives in your head to sit down and hush. No matter what has triggered your feelings of abandonment, your biggest battle will always be within.”
As I pondered his words and applied the wisdom they offered me, I learned that those of us who live with abandonment issues must embrace the pain they generate; we must offer shelter and comfort to the fearful but resilient inner child who experienced that abandonment. We must have compassion for his/her struggle. When we do this, we love the fear to death. We must do this over and over until the day when we experience an inner resurrection, a true release; we must exercise this compassionate self-love until the day when our being knows a womb’s love.
You might have felt you were your own worst enemy,
dear Carol Ann,
but in truth,
I believe you are your own best friend . . .
it’s just taken some time
for you to realize that.
What a gift.
As I am with Ose,
I am grateful you are here today. ((( ♥ )))
My mom went through a lot. In the late 70s, she was in jail for 2 years from the Vietnam war. Later on, she was the one who uplifted my family whether it’s me getting hospitalized for my manic bipolar episodes for a few months in 2004 and a week in August of 2019, my dad suffering from multiple mialoma in 2022, or her dealing with breast cancer late in 2023 early 2024. She has maintained a positive attitude through it all.
☀️
Indeed,
dear Loc,
your parents
are a story of resilience. ♥
They really are!
When one sits and listens to other people’s stories as I have throughout my career, it is truly amazing that most of us are still getting out of bed every day, going to work, going out into the garden, going for a run, caring for others, doing whatever it is we do. There are so many reasons any one of us could stay in bed, pull the covers up and linger there for who knows how long. And certainly we have all developed our own coping mechanisms for managing through our grief, pain, anger, hurt, disillusionments, disappointments, – some better than others. But nonetheless – resilience is both a gift, though one has to want it; and a skill, one has to work at it. I have one friend whose style of resilience is just to push through; another went to individual grief therapy; another has just set her mind to stay positive and stay busy, be grateful, pray daily and laugh often. Whatever it looks like for you or me, I think it means tending to your own soul. And I have learned that from many and myself.
Resilience as a gift that one has to want, and a skill–thank you for this perspective, Katrina.
What a great description! I love it.
Yes, you have to want it.
” . . . tending to your own soul.” Self-care at its best. Thank you, Katrina.
Well spoken,
dear Katrina . . .
we all do what we need to do
to get through the day.
I hope we choose a healthy way. ♥
Katrina, it’s amazing to see how there are many different ways to cope. As the old addage goes “Different strokes for different folks.”
The person that came to mind was my maternal grandmother. Looking back on her life, and unfortunately I never asked questions, she lost two daughters and had 3 sons in the war. After my mother died at an early age, she mothered both my brother and myself.
She sounds like a very resilient woman, and caring.
me, myself and I
Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s 🙂
Happy Summer Solstice 🌞🌻
https://nationaltoday.com/today/
Lots of human and more-than-human teachers here.
The ocean: relax into turmoil.
Bristlecone pine: let rocky soil and wind be your sculptor, let difficulty be the mistress of longevity.
Trail running: yes, you can keep going through some seriously unpleasant sensations.
My old yoga teacher: don’t take the machinations of your mind seriously.
Music: sing it out, play it out, dance it out.
Grief teachers: you can walk with grief without it flooding you.
I love the idea of using nature as an example of resilience. Today, on my bike ride, I spent a few minutes admiring a Madrone tree, that had been through a fire, apparently, and about half of it died, and had adapted its Cambrian layer into what looked like two very large veins that kept the rest of the tree alive.
We marveled at nature’s extreme desire to continue.
Madrones are gorgeous! Some of the most beautiful trees if you ask me.
“Bristlecone pine: let rocky soil and wind be your sculptor, let difficulty be the mistress of longevity.”
Profound and so true of those tough pines above timberline, Drea. Thank you.
The bristlecones are magical, Joseph. I’m delighted every time I end up in their habitat.
Those are some mighty fine lessons from some wonderful teachers. I especially love the lesson from your yoga teacher.
Thank you Katrina, I try to remember the yoga teacher’s lesson often.
My mom is the very first person who taught me about resilience in the face of difficulty. She didn’t grow up with hardship. In contrast, her childhood was quite materialistically comfortable. Despite this, she faced life’s challenges with adaptability and resilience. I love her and admire her.
My Ngoc, both our moms taught us resilience although in different ways.
Those who came before me that I share DNA with. A collective resilience through difficulties of time immemorial emanating through my form and essence.
Peace, Love & Light.
It may be DNA,
dear Joseph,
but I think there is something more as well.
Just sayin’.
Take some credit. 🙂
All the people around me have been supportive in many ways big and small. I could start with this amazing country and the supportive health care system for one !
I don’t know would have happened to me with without a system that takes care of its people. I’m grateful to have health care and hospitals that provide quality care.
I make it sound as if I’m always sick but chronic migraines took me away from my 25 years teaching middle schoolers and that wasn’t my plan because I love teenagers and my job.
Im grateful to the people who all over the world do this meditation and all the helpers who have helped me through the levels and taught me how to let go. This past five years of meditation and meeting all these people at different centres has changed my life.
I’m so eternally grateful. Thank you universe.
I, too, suffered with severe migraines for about 20 years. I almost had to go on disability, before finally finding a neurologist who treated me both kindly and with a comprehensive treatment of infusions, physical therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and occupational therapy, plus a preventative medication. Gratitude does not even begin to describe what it means to get my life back. But it is the only word I have.
KATRINA, I’m so happy for you . That’s what I have used also . All of the above . Do you still have them?
I’m glad you’re getting good care for your migraines, Antoinette, and that you have so much love and support. Migraines do not mess around and it seems like you’re handling the twists and turns they’ve brought with grace and consciousness.
DREA,
Thank you 🙏