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I am having difficulty with this question…but my mother comes first to mind. She faced such hardships…first as a child of 10 children, Irish Catholic- poor. Married my father- a drinker…she shoveled coal to keep an apartment house of people warm, kept me safe, and went on each day and met it and all that it had to offer. …and to take away. She was the most wonderful Mom.
My Mother, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when she was 57. She didn’t want anyone to know not even my children.
She didn’t want anyone to be concerned. She was a nurse and fought hard, getting help from a cancer survivor friend. Learned about different foods to eat and mental focus. Always having hope : ). Continued to do all the things she enjoyed as much as she could.
So many have taught me resiliency. There is also the deep well of resilience that dwells inside of me.
Most recently, it is beloved friend who is in the terminal stages of ALS. He is truly accepting of his fate, lives and has lived life to the fullest possible, and maintains a deep spiritual faith.
In my history, it is my grandparents’ and great grandparents’ generation, survivors of the Armenian genocide.
My mother. Resilience in the face of difficulty. My dad died by suicide while she was at home in 1979. It was a violent death and she heard the gunshot and ran to the bedroom to find him. I can’t imagine the trauma she endured and lived with. She was never the same, but she pulled herself together and made the best of her hard life.
Many authors, spiritual guides, my faith & Mother Nature, in particular Redwood Trees have taught me about resilience. However, in the end it has come down to me & my desire to want to rise above the difficulty. All my “teachers” have guided me on this journey.
Happy Friday All…🙏🏻✨😊
My sister-in-law is the first one who comes to mind. My beloved brother Don drowned 7 years ago tomorrow. He jumped into the lake to cool off, said, “The water’s fine”, but went under and never came up again despite being a strong swimmer. He was 65, and ours is a long-lived family. He should have lived another 30 years.
His wife and our whole family were devastated at the loss of our Donny Boy, eternally childlike in his zest for life. She has stayed close to friends and family and has been able to find the good things that have followed his death. Among them, she and I and my younger sister started having occasional “sister weekend” getaways–something we probably wouldn’t be doing if he were still alive. She has said directly that we are closer than we would have been if he were alive simply because the relationship between couples is different from that between two women.
Two nights ago I was able to spend the night at their house and she and I went out to dinner. The home is full of pictures of him and the two of them, and his artwork (he was very talented). When we parted I gave her an extra hug for Donny Day, which is what we call July 1. She’s going to the lake where he died to spend time with other family members and I know they’ll laugh and tell stories about him and probably cry a little, but feel so much love.
Barb, thinking of you, your sister-in-law, and family today- Donny Day.
I lit a candle on this site for you and your family. 🕯
Barb, Oh how terrible…Your brother sounds like he was a wonderful spirit. How good it is that you have such a loving relationship with your sister in law…You are a gift. Thinking of you and your family.
Barb, so sorry for your loss. What a frightening experience for your family.
I’m having difficulty answering this
question with one person.
On one level, I feel like we all go through
difficult situations. On another level,
I have met and know people who have
been through wars and forced
migration. People who have endured
neglect and abuse.
All the people in my life give me inspiration,
and anyone that can carry on with their lives
with kindness and compassion, gives me
My mentor helped me see about my own resiliency. I share a meditation I wrote in 2020.
As good and wonderful as my mother was, I sense that her pregnancy with me came at a time of great insecurity for her. She did not want another child with my father. Her womb was not warm and welcoming. Perhaps, that is what one would describe as primal abandonment—a sense of not necessarily being unloved but being unwanted.
As an adult, I still struggle with abandonment issues. Once when I was lamenting this struggle, my spiritual director said, “You need to remember that you were always there for you.”
When I took that statement into prayer, I could see the little girl in me and feel her pain but also her resilience. Paradoxically, she is and always has been my weakness and my strength. She has always dwelt in the center of my abandonment wound and I have no doubt that she has shown tremendous courage.
At another meeting with my spiritual advisor, he said, “Carol, please understand that there is a part of you that has never been afraid; that has never been touched by your abandonment issues. You can call it forth at any time and it will pick up that little girl and comfort her; it will tell that fear-filled bully with whom she struggles to sit down and hush. No matter what has triggered your feelings of abandonment, your biggest battle will always be within.”
As I pondered his words and applied the wisdom they offered me, I learned that those of us who live with abandonment issues must embrace the pain they generate; we must offer shelter and comfort to the fearful but resilient inner child who experienced that abandonment. We must have compassion for his/her struggle. When we do this, we love the fear to death. We must do this over and over until the day when we experience an inner resurrection, a true release; we must exercise this compassionate self-love until the day when our being knows a womb’s love.
Wow! Carol, your post brought tears to my eyes, my heart feels your words deeply. My little girl lives with fear of violence. Trying to fix everything around her, to make the grown ups and her siblings be well. What a journey of walking on egg shells. I am tired of the fear and the egg shells. I am so ready to walk on solid ground and mentally walk away from all of it. As we cared for mom who is in hospice the trauma of all of us siblings is alive and creates havoc. Dad’s passing in November only brought it all in the open. I must offer shelter and comfort to the fearful but resilient inner child who experience the verbal and physical violence. She is worthy, she is beautiful, she deserves it! I thank you for your wisdom and light.
Carol, you are such a beautiful writer – this brought tears to my eyes and is so powerful. Thank you always for your wisdom.
Very touching and genuine Carol. My mother died when I was just about 4 years old. I am now learning about issues that sometimes surround the loss of a mother at such a young age. Thank you.
Carol, My heart goes out to you. You are a strong woman…I can feel it in your words…and I can feel the hurt that you have felt. You are not alone. Blessings to you, my friend.
As usual, Carol, this spoke to me.
My great-niece, Grace is 13 years old and has Downs Syndrome. She was diagnosed at age 4 with leukemia and went through two and a half years of chemo. She is doing great, she loves school and loves life! She is a true inspiration! Thank to everyone who kindly shares their reflections! 🙏🧘♀️🌈
Today I celebrate 81 years of living. Living and deceased prophets, my ancestors, and all people have taught me resiliency. It is truly amazing and a miracle. Thank you all for the prayers, comments and insights presented on this site. My mornings start out on a lovely note! Be well!
Happy 81st birthday Yram! You’re the same age as my dad- he turned 81 last Oct.
Happy and Healthy Birthday, YRAM! Thinking of you. So very grateful for the words and wisdom that you share. Happy Birthday and Blessings!!
This life experience is a wonderful blessing. Have a wonderful day.
Happy Birthday Yram. Many blessings to You on your day.✨🥳
Happy Birthday Yram. It is my husband’s birthday too. He is 84.
Have a great day.
Happy Birthday, Yram.
And congratulations on 81 years. 💐
Happy Birthday to you, Yram. Thank you for being here every day!
Some spiritual teachers whose books I read and talks I listened to, but when it came down to the really hard stuff, it was mostly me. You can learn from others, but when you deal with things hands-on, it’s a whole different story.
Yes very true!
Life´s call to survive a life threatening situation as a newborn.
A counselor told me once, when you are going through something difficult, remember a another situation that was difficult but you got through it. Think of the things you used to get through it and see if they have application to this situation.
My mother modeled everyday courage. I learned to square my shoulders and face what needed facing.
Numerous people, some authors, taught me that when facing a difficulty, it’s OK to be scared, to feel not quite up to the challenge. They also taught me that resilience requires fuel — rest, kindness to myself, physical and mental replenishment and nourishment.
Love what you wrote, thank you!
Thank you Laura. I especially like that last little bit. Need to do more of that.
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