Right now it is me. Being in a grieving spot, 4 weeks since my husband’s spirit moved on, I consider I am doing well when I eat, sleep and engage.
I read once:
T talk to others if needed
H ask for help
R rest and regroup
I be inspired
V believe in your values
E exercise mind and body
First and foremost I want my children to Thrive but also learn from their mistakes. I would also like my grandson to Thrive, he is struggling in his first year of HS.
I also feel a lot of concern at the moment for all families that depend on snap food benefits that may be delayed from the the gov’t shut down especially coming so close to the Holidays.
I found out yesterday that my ex sister in law had a massive heart attack and died at age 62. She adopted 4 of her grandchildren about 2 or 3 yrs ago and they were definitely thriving from her love and guidance. It is so sad and such a shock. 🙏😥
Oh my goodness, Robin Ann– I am so sorry to hear about your ex sister-in-law! Sending much love and light for those who loved her, including her adopted grandchildren 🙏♥️
I would like to see every living being thrive,
prosper,
and live in peace and harmony,
but today
I’m thinking especially of my son,
who lives all the way across the country,
and I despair of seeing him
or hugging him
any time soon.
He shares a home with a loving Persian fiancée,
lives close enough to the ocean to walk there every day,
is employed by a company who values him,
is healthy and strong,
and can afford vacations,
but he occasionally hints at an undercurrent of a deep unhappiness.
He never complains,
but I hear doubt in his voice
about his self-worth,
and feel helpless to assure him that he is indeed worthy.
I also feel,
as many parents do,
that this is at least partly my own doing,
and this troubles me at night
when I cannot sleep.
He deserves to love himself . . .
he deserves all good things.
I turn this over to the Universe every day
and hope that he will find his way
to gratitude and to inner peace . . .
I cannot thrust it on him,
but must be patient
and trust he will see how rich he really is
one day. ♥
Is it selfish to say I want myself to thrive? I’ve been looking for a new job for awhile, feeling unfulfilled and underpaid with my current one. Looking at job postings everyday, I feel defeated. It just now occurred to me that I am seeking validation from this “perfect” job that doesn’t exist, one where people think I am smart and I am needed. I tie so much of my self worth into an ideal career when I don’t need to, that I can validate my own existence and worthiness, just by being. And for that, I am grateful. 🧡🙏🏽
”I tie so much of my self worth into an ideal career when I don’t need to, that I can validate my own existence and worthiness, just by being. And for that, I am grateful.”
First of all,
dear Jenifer,
you are not selfish to want to thrive,
but you can decide that you are worthy,
because you are. ♥
Oh, Grateful Community! darn! I’m having a hard time typing and reading because my eyes are just filled up and over – I could say, “with tears”…. but it is so much more than that. I just get filled with SO MUCH GRATITUDE, and quiet amazement, and awareness of Presence… that the emotion just fills me up and when it gets that strong, it just needs to run out my eyes. It isn’t crying… it is fluid emotion that I just feel so deeply — well — excuse me if I am “coming in out of the blue” with this — I have been “gone” from this Grateful Living on-line site, …. but I have thought and wondered about you all often…. and here you still are!!!! I am so deeply touched that so many are still right here!!!!!! still pulling together…. still sharing and caring and reflecting and being thoughtful and sincere and looking for your own honesty. I may not weigh-in alot, but I am so grateful to “see” each of you here – to be back in the fold – and I send you each and all much appreciation… and gratitude!… and hope for you, …. and my delight at being able to read what each of you has to share here. thank you so much, Community.
I want to maintain the willingness to thrive…Open heart and open mind…caring and compassionate. Why do I say this? Because, I am having a hard time not being judgemental. Even when I am angry, I have learned to use the energy anger produces constructively. Ah, but judgement builds walls and destroys the chance for cooperation. I had a dream many years ago. I was at a rail head and ask another hiker how long the trail was. He said, “Ten miles and you either go all the way or none of the way.” I’ve come to the understanding that I cannot help myself or anyone else thrive without willingness. My job is willingness.
It is so interesting to hear you talk about willingness, Carol Ann. It is such an important state of mind, but I rarely consider it.
For instance to what degree am I willing to meditate? Several weeks ago I said I was going to begin a morning meditation practice. I did start, but was not willing to meditate before drinking a cup of coffee, and after my coffee, well, it felt like meditation on caffeine, and I think that may not be worth doing. So I guess at this time, I’m not willing to start a morning meditation practice.
Willingness is an interesting concept, Carol Ann. I’m thinking you are looking at willingness in terms of a bigger picture. Such as, am I willing to be open to life? Am I willing to put in the effort to view my life with gratitude? Am I willing to put in the effort that it takes to come back to mindfulness when I find myself caught up in conflict? Am I willing to put in the effort to be kind and prioritize connecting with others? These are important questions for me and they all come down to the question of -Am I willing? Thank you for bringing up this topic.
There was a recent meditation from Richard Rohr,
dear Carol Ann,
that spoke to ‘sacred anger’
and how to spend it constructively.
I thought of you when I read it.
I think we all have the job to be willing,
especially when there is much to be angry about.. ♥
I want to help deep, trusting relationships thrive. Relationships where we’re real with each other, see each other, and care for each other. I want that kind of culture to thrive.
As a caregiver for my husband, I want to help him thrive while also helping myself to thrive. If I don’t keep helping myself to thrive, I will be unable to help him. I also want to help my local faith community as well as my local city/valley to thrive. And I want to help compassion to thrive. There are a few different nonprofits that inspire and help me and many others so much, including Grateful Living, and I want to help them to thrive.
I want all the people on the bottom of the social systems, the people that have not had a hand up, all kids everywhere, the people that actually make stuff, do stuff, build stuff, and bring something positive to this world to thrive. We need to reach back and extend our hands.
We are living in a backwards time. It’s been a long time coming. The wealthiest (with their self interest) and the poorest (with their fear and hate) have voted to take away healthcare and food assistance for millions of people, only to benefit those that have greedily hoarded far more than they could ever use in a hundred lifetimes.
I hope all of us can thrive. But I’ll settle for survive.
I’m wanting to help some family relationships thrive, especially the next generation of little people. I have 4 precocious great nephews in 2 families. All live out state from me. . They received gingerbread haunted houses to build as family hands on project. A little way to spread joy to them. Happy Fall Day🍁☮️
I have only two hours left to complete my 200-hour Crisis Text Line volunteer commitment. I remember the many times when my clients vented to me out of misunderstanding. However, the few words of thanks from other clients motivated me to keep going. This experience has been a wonderful opportunity to grow on my journey to becoming a better helper. My volunteer commitment will soon end, but my desire to help people in crisis continues to thrive. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s definitely possible. 💐
My mother. I want whatever time she has left to be wrapped in joy. Right now she’s aimless and bored. She can’t drive anymore and we’re working establishing home care. She needs a schedule, exercise, and stimulation. It’s difficult because I work and my father is in denial and addicted to the news. But, we are moving forward. I don’t accept that she can’t thrive with Alzheimer’s. But it will be a new kind of thriving. Everyone needs purpose and I am going to help her find it.
I may have mentioned this before but there is a very helpful site called daughterhood. It offers many things but the connection circles are very supportive with other caregivers sharing resources and tips.
I want to help LOVE thrive. The power of Love, the power of humanity.
I also want to help my yoga thrive, and I work on it daily with my practice, my offerings, and my studies.
I would also like to help my husband thrive, but the best I can do for him is listen when he needs me to and only give advice if it is asked for. He has his own work to do to thrive, but we are each other’s support system, and being a good support is important to me, especially when he has supported me so much on my own journey.
And you have offered much wisdom about how we each have our own work to do to thrive. We can offer others our love, appreciation, support, attention, but we cannot “make” someone thrive and if we get too attached to an outcome, it can backfire. It reminds me of a poem from “The Caregiver’s Tao Te Ching,” by William and Nancy Martin (p. 31).
Trying to be kind, we end up interfering
Trying to be helpful, we end up tinkering,
pushing, and generally being of no help at all.
True kindness appears when our true nature
touches the true nature of another person.
True helpfulness appears
when we are both simply together in the moment
At this point we share the feeling
of compassionate awareness.
Thank you for the poem, Elizabeth. I know all too well how outcomes can backfire with expectations of helping or making someone else thrive. I tried for way too long in my 1st marriage and it only got worse over the years instead of better.
When I was in the caregiving role and felt helpless, I remember a spiritual leader reminded me that I was in the ministry of presence. Sometimes I didn’t value that role but my husband appreciated it. Don’t underestimate what you do.
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Those who need help, those who stand for shared values, help thriving here; supporting the Sangha I belong to; Love to be unfolded.
Right now it is me. Being in a grieving spot, 4 weeks since my husband’s spirit moved on, I consider I am doing well when I eat, sleep and engage.
I read once:
T talk to others if needed
H ask for help
R rest and regroup
I be inspired
V believe in your values
E exercise mind and body
I am thinking of you, Yram. Sending comfort and peace ✨
I hope,
dear Yram,
that you feel held and supported
because you surely are. ♥
First and foremost I want my children to Thrive but also learn from their mistakes. I would also like my grandson to Thrive, he is struggling in his first year of HS.
I also feel a lot of concern at the moment for all families that depend on snap food benefits that may be delayed from the the gov’t shut down especially coming so close to the Holidays.
I found out yesterday that my ex sister in law had a massive heart attack and died at age 62. She adopted 4 of her grandchildren about 2 or 3 yrs ago and they were definitely thriving from her love and guidance. It is so sad and such a shock. 🙏😥
Sending so much love to your family, especially those adopted grandchildren 🙏🏼
Oh my goodness, Robin Ann– I am so sorry to hear about your ex sister-in-law! Sending much love and light for those who loved her, including her adopted grandchildren 🙏♥️
I would like to see every living being thrive,
prosper,
and live in peace and harmony,
but today
I’m thinking especially of my son,
who lives all the way across the country,
and I despair of seeing him
or hugging him
any time soon.
He shares a home with a loving Persian fiancée,
lives close enough to the ocean to walk there every day,
is employed by a company who values him,
is healthy and strong,
and can afford vacations,
but he occasionally hints at an undercurrent of a deep unhappiness.
He never complains,
but I hear doubt in his voice
about his self-worth,
and feel helpless to assure him that he is indeed worthy.
I also feel,
as many parents do,
that this is at least partly my own doing,
and this troubles me at night
when I cannot sleep.
He deserves to love himself . . .
he deserves all good things.
I turn this over to the Universe every day
and hope that he will find his way
to gratitude and to inner peace . . .
I cannot thrust it on him,
but must be patient
and trust he will see how rich he really is
one day. ♥
We are fortunate to have two adult children dear Sparrow. They are still our children. Their ebb’s and flow’s are a ripple in our lives.
How beautiful,
dear Joseph . . .
I will try to think of my remaining son
in this way too.
I think it will help. ♥
Sending so much love to you, dear Sparrow. And sending so much love to your dear son. ☀️☀️☀️
Thank you,
dear Mary . . .
I’m sure he will feel it. ♥
Is it selfish to say I want myself to thrive? I’ve been looking for a new job for awhile, feeling unfulfilled and underpaid with my current one. Looking at job postings everyday, I feel defeated. It just now occurred to me that I am seeking validation from this “perfect” job that doesn’t exist, one where people think I am smart and I am needed. I tie so much of my self worth into an ideal career when I don’t need to, that I can validate my own existence and worthiness, just by being. And for that, I am grateful. 🧡🙏🏽
❤️
”I tie so much of my self worth into an ideal career when I don’t need to, that I can validate my own existence and worthiness, just by being. And for that, I am grateful.”
First of all,
dear Jenifer,
you are not selfish to want to thrive,
but you can decide that you are worthy,
because you are. ♥
Oh, Grateful Community! darn! I’m having a hard time typing and reading because my eyes are just filled up and over – I could say, “with tears”…. but it is so much more than that. I just get filled with SO MUCH GRATITUDE, and quiet amazement, and awareness of Presence… that the emotion just fills me up and when it gets that strong, it just needs to run out my eyes. It isn’t crying… it is fluid emotion that I just feel so deeply — well — excuse me if I am “coming in out of the blue” with this — I have been “gone” from this Grateful Living on-line site, …. but I have thought and wondered about you all often…. and here you still are!!!! I am so deeply touched that so many are still right here!!!!!! still pulling together…. still sharing and caring and reflecting and being thoughtful and sincere and looking for your own honesty. I may not weigh-in alot, but I am so grateful to “see” each of you here – to be back in the fold – and I send you each and all much appreciation… and gratitude!… and hope for you, …. and my delight at being able to read what each of you has to share here. thank you so much, Community.
Hi Carol Ann! I’m so happy to see you!
Welcome back Carol Ann 🌞
I want to maintain the willingness to thrive…Open heart and open mind…caring and compassionate. Why do I say this? Because, I am having a hard time not being judgemental. Even when I am angry, I have learned to use the energy anger produces constructively. Ah, but judgement builds walls and destroys the chance for cooperation. I had a dream many years ago. I was at a rail head and ask another hiker how long the trail was. He said, “Ten miles and you either go all the way or none of the way.” I’ve come to the understanding that I cannot help myself or anyone else thrive without willingness. My job is willingness.
It is so interesting to hear you talk about willingness, Carol Ann. It is such an important state of mind, but I rarely consider it.
For instance to what degree am I willing to meditate? Several weeks ago I said I was going to begin a morning meditation practice. I did start, but was not willing to meditate before drinking a cup of coffee, and after my coffee, well, it felt like meditation on caffeine, and I think that may not be worth doing. So I guess at this time, I’m not willing to start a morning meditation practice.
Willingness is an interesting concept, Carol Ann. I’m thinking you are looking at willingness in terms of a bigger picture. Such as, am I willing to be open to life? Am I willing to put in the effort to view my life with gratitude? Am I willing to put in the effort that it takes to come back to mindfulness when I find myself caught up in conflict? Am I willing to put in the effort to be kind and prioritize connecting with others? These are important questions for me and they all come down to the question of -Am I willing? Thank you for bringing up this topic.
There was a recent meditation from Richard Rohr,
dear Carol Ann,
that spoke to ‘sacred anger’
and how to spend it constructively.
I thought of you when I read it.
I think we all have the job to be willing,
especially when there is much to be angry about.. ♥
I want to help deep, trusting relationships thrive. Relationships where we’re real with each other, see each other, and care for each other. I want that kind of culture to thrive.
As a caregiver for my husband, I want to help him thrive while also helping myself to thrive. If I don’t keep helping myself to thrive, I will be unable to help him. I also want to help my local faith community as well as my local city/valley to thrive. And I want to help compassion to thrive. There are a few different nonprofits that inspire and help me and many others so much, including Grateful Living, and I want to help them to thrive.
You help your husband that much more when you take good care of yourself, too 💜
Elizabeth, wishing you and your husband much thriving.
I want all the people on the bottom of the social systems, the people that have not had a hand up, all kids everywhere, the people that actually make stuff, do stuff, build stuff, and bring something positive to this world to thrive. We need to reach back and extend our hands.
We are living in a backwards time. It’s been a long time coming. The wealthiest (with their self interest) and the poorest (with their fear and hate) have voted to take away healthcare and food assistance for millions of people, only to benefit those that have greedily hoarded far more than they could ever use in a hundred lifetimes.
I hope all of us can thrive. But I’ll settle for survive.
I’m with you 100%,
dear Charlie. ♥
We’ll do more than just survive. Thriving seems impossible but it’s not and it never has been impossible. Reminds me of an inspirational read on the topic: https://www.dailygood.org/story/1538/do-not-lose-heart-we-were-made-for-these-times-clarissa-pinkola-estes/
Great reading for these troubled times,
dear Drea . . . ♥
I’m wanting to help some family relationships thrive, especially the next generation of little people. I have 4 precocious great nephews in 2 families. All live out state from me. . They received gingerbread haunted houses to build as family hands on project. A little way to spread joy to them. Happy Fall Day🍁☮️
love it! I’m sure they did too
Gingerbread haunted houses– what a cool twist!!
I have only two hours left to complete my 200-hour Crisis Text Line volunteer commitment. I remember the many times when my clients vented to me out of misunderstanding. However, the few words of thanks from other clients motivated me to keep going. This experience has been a wonderful opportunity to grow on my journey to becoming a better helper. My volunteer commitment will soon end, but my desire to help people in crisis continues to thrive. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s definitely possible. 💐
I too,
hope you continue to thrive,
dear Ngoc
in your desire to be of service . . .
I have no doubt you will . . . ♥
Congratulations, my Ngoc. You’ve grown into a better listener. Keep it up.
Thank you for having done this valuable volunteer work, Ngoc!
I wish you the best in finding your next way to help people in crisis ♥️
My mother. I want whatever time she has left to be wrapped in joy. Right now she’s aimless and bored. She can’t drive anymore and we’re working establishing home care. She needs a schedule, exercise, and stimulation. It’s difficult because I work and my father is in denial and addicted to the news. But, we are moving forward. I don’t accept that she can’t thrive with Alzheimer’s. But it will be a new kind of thriving. Everyone needs purpose and I am going to help her find it.
I may have mentioned this before but there is a very helpful site called daughterhood. It offers many things but the connection circles are very supportive with other caregivers sharing resources and tips.
Don’t forget,
dear Avril,
that you need support as well . . . ♥
Wishing you the best in finding good home care. And your mother is lucky to have you.
I want to help LOVE thrive. The power of Love, the power of humanity.
I also want to help my yoga thrive, and I work on it daily with my practice, my offerings, and my studies.
I would also like to help my husband thrive, but the best I can do for him is listen when he needs me to and only give advice if it is asked for. He has his own work to do to thrive, but we are each other’s support system, and being a good support is important to me, especially when he has supported me so much on my own journey.
“The power of Love, the power of humanity” ♥️
And you have offered much wisdom about how we each have our own work to do to thrive. We can offer others our love, appreciation, support, attention, but we cannot “make” someone thrive and if we get too attached to an outcome, it can backfire. It reminds me of a poem from “The Caregiver’s Tao Te Ching,” by William and Nancy Martin (p. 31).
Trying to be kind, we end up interfering
Trying to be helpful, we end up tinkering,
pushing, and generally being of no help at all.
True kindness appears when our true nature
touches the true nature of another person.
True helpfulness appears
when we are both simply together in the moment
At this point we share the feeling
of compassionate awareness.
Thank you for the poem, Elizabeth. I know all too well how outcomes can backfire with expectations of helping or making someone else thrive. I tried for way too long in my 1st marriage and it only got worse over the years instead of better.
When I was in the caregiving role and felt helpless, I remember a spiritual leader reminded me that I was in the ministry of presence. Sometimes I didn’t value that role but my husband appreciated it. Don’t underestimate what you do.
Yes, I really like that term too, YRAM– “ministry of presence” Thank you!
“the ministry of presence” – I really like the way that was put. I know your husband appreciated all you did for him❤️
Loving Kindness. Peace.
♥