I have been very vulnerable for a week now with my daughter still in the hospital. I needed support from friends and family and received it overwhelmingly. She needs love and support also and it has been such a blessing for her to have too. Her 12 year old son (my grandson) is visiting her as I write. They drove 4 hours to visit her today. He is so adorable, he read her a prayer over the phone this week.
Many times the willingness to be vulnerable has helped me deal with difficult situations. It doesn’t always transform the situation but many times it has been an agent of personal transformation. Vulnerability can definitely foster personal growth. I was reminded of a poem I wrote to help me work through the grief I was feeling when my physical limitations began challenging my ability to sing. I would like to share that poem of lament with you.
My Voice by Carol Ann Conner
Some of us have a booming voice
Others speak with a lilt
A few are given the gift of song
And must lament
when it is gone.
I don’t know how one ever
fully grieves the loss
to inspire, instill hope,
fill hearts with
their voice
How I wished I had understood
that priceless gift,
shared it more,
given thanks
from my very core.
It is like a part of me
has been violently stripped,
ripped from my being
at the altar
of wasted chances.
Love sang to me
through me,
filling my aching heart
so many times when hope
could not be found.
Thanks for the memories.
Thanks for the reveries.
The lives
I was privileged to touch
with my song
The laughter,
The tears,
The promise,
The fears,
The vulnerability in each note.
Images in the audience
that still thrill me,
still inspire me
and still fill me
with awe and gratitude.
No longer the singer
of the song,
No longer the voice
that’s forever gone
but the music lives on, and on.
On a daily basis I’m in conversations with professionals who know a lot more than I do about their specialized work, and I’m advocating for changing things they’ve done for years because I know more about certain aspects that weren’t centered in their work in the past. It’s my job to bring about change that sometimes isn’t entirely welcome. When I’m able to listen fully to their expertise and their concerns and be clear that they do know more than I do about a lot of things, I’m being vulnerable. I’m also learning. I don’t know if it transforms the situation; it creates a more collegial and collaborative context for the conversation and that creates space for change to begin.
You nailed it. And yes, I can now speak with confidence about things like the importance of a tight turning radius at a corner to slow the driver so they have time to see and not hit the pedestrian instead of designing every corner as if a hundred semi-trucks need to pass through it every day. I’ve gotten to learn so much! And when I tell them we have more serious and fatal crashes in poorer neighborhoods where we built wide, fast, busy roads, and that the history of those neighborhoods in urban areas often involves a history of racist redlining, I’m giving them knowledge they didn’t get in engineering school.
Good morning everyone.
I had to chuckle at this question because it speaks so clearly to me this morning.. Vulnerability means trust and letting go to me. Specifically right now, it means trusting that all will be well as I (vulnerably) plan our vacation adventure this May. How fortuitous (and in my mind a “divine intervention”) that Michelle should share that today is “National Plan for Vacation” Day!! 🤗 I am a very anxious traveler and each time we plan a vacation I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. To trust, that no matter what may or may not go “wrong” God will be with us and, as mystic Julian of Norwich says “All manner of things will be well” no matter how many disaster scenarios my anxious brain imagines!
Last night, as I was saying my evening prayers I asked God for wisdom and guidance and an assurance that I should continue down this adventure path. I’m so grateful for answered prayer and today I will continue on with the planning, acknowledging my vulnerability that gives me the opportunity to trust and let go and let God. This is a life lesson for me. This situation is transformed as I go forward with faith…and joy.
love this Diane! Reading your reflection made me smile and I’m happy for you that the National Day coincided with your vacation planning and was a sign for you. I can’t wait to hear about that trip later in the year:)
We were at a gathering and it was apparent that a lady had difficulty managing a simple situation. I assisted with engaging her in conversation and getting her food. It eased her anxiety and the tension in the room. She was so grateful for the gesture.
I’m not sure about a specific situation,
but, being vulnerable with the right person
at the right time, can be life changing.
I tend to be perceived as in control
and confident, when in reality, I am
as confused and insecure as anyone.
Even more so. Letting people into my
true world, usually leads to a deepening
of the relationship and a lowering of
anxiety caused by the difference of my
reality, and how I am perceived, and
trying to maintain that fiction.
I began transforming my mental outlook some 23 months and change ago. Being vulnerable, open, honest and with a willingness to change past behaviors. Opening my mind to new thought patterns, acceptance, presence and looking through a lens of gratefulness has helped tremendously for me. Reading and exploring resources, all along the same theme, has also helped. Namaste.
I think you are right about the openness and honesty as the first steps. Perhaps that should be the basis of most conversations. Then we can check for ourselves on whether it makes a difference or not.
I’m most vulnerable during difficult/traumatic/painful times. Relying on inner strength, family/friends,this site and all who participate help me when I need it. Nature too.
Some good Nat’l Days today-> Nat’l Croissant Day, Nat’ Plan For Vacation Day, National Escape Day, Nat’l Yodel For Your Neighbors Day all make me smile and crack up. 😆
Thank you all for your responses – made me smile. They have a National Day for everything – believe it or not, there is a National Fart Day that is coming up on Feb 5th, hahahahahaha
Michelle….I can’t thank you enough for this! Read my post to see how you were an angel of sorts, delivering a important message for me. I’m reminded that we never know the blessing to others our sharing can be. Thank you for telling us about “National Plan For Vacation Day”….when I read those words (and visited the site) my heart smiled real big! 🥰
Michelle, thank you for the reminders of the whimsical side of life! Talk about making yourself vulnerable; if I were to Yodel for my Neighbor Today, that would fill the bill!
Maybe I will transform National Yodel For Your Neighbor Day to Yodel For Wife This Morning Day! Thanks for the heads-up, Michele. I will let you know how it turns out!
Vulnerability is a reminder of my humanity. I am not perfect. Sometimes I hurt. A willingness to accept this changes my perspective, and so changes the situation.
My willingness to be vulnerable helped me to leave a job that had reached maximal remuneration. I was a single mom that just finished a pretty intense divorce. I took a job as a contractor making decent money, but not having any benefits. But, it gave me some much-needed work experience. Within two years, I was able to get a job as an executive in the same healthcare system I had left only a little while before. My vulnerability brought me to a man who also had two children. We combined our homes during the pandemic. We were married after six months. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Life is really nothing but what ifs… Sometimes we delude ourselves into feeling there’s certainty. I’m not ever saying everyone should jump off a cliff. But, making yourself open makes life amazing .
When the stress of daily living get too much especially due to health issues I look at my Dad’s picture and return to my childhood or teenage years and the times I could get advice from him. I know what he would say and then I handle the problem as he advises. At times I long to be six or ten years old. That is when I hear his voice say ” remember who you are ” .
Love this! I still have my Dad in his 80’s and he still has such wonderful wisdom! I call him when life gets hard. His calming and suggestive ways always helps.
A couple years ago, I was often in situations facilitating meetings in a spirituality support group via a leadership role. On those occasions when there were challenges about changes that were ahead of us, and fears were heard; I was led by Spirit to share my fears. Transparency is sometimes hard. I needed to be willing to be honest down to the bone. Sometimes others were willing to name their fears or prejudices. One could feel the presence of the Other in the room. The naysayers and bullies were silenced. Grace arrived with Light.
Not to react but staying open while being with the deep pain a situation had caused was very difficult in the beginning, I did not really understand “why”, most probably even did misunderstand the causation, but just staying with it while taking my possible part in it again and again was helpful to clear and let go of any expectations and possible “wrongs” from my side, staying centered as good as possible and without judgment or accusations, leading to some understanding and finally left me humble and deeply grateful. It taught me to wait until things clear by themselves, not interfering, not being impatient and not reacting but simply being true to myself, and to truly having dear friends alongside.
“It taught me to wait until things clear up” reminded me of a statement I recently came upon:
Try not to get ahead of the unfolding.
This reminder has helped me in many a challenging situation.
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I have been very vulnerable for a week now with my daughter still in the hospital. I needed support from friends and family and received it overwhelmingly. She needs love and support also and it has been such a blessing for her to have too. Her 12 year old son (my grandson) is visiting her as I write. They drove 4 hours to visit her today. He is so adorable, he read her a prayer over the phone this week.
Loving Kindness and Healing to you and yours Robin Ann. Your grandson sounds like a kind soul himself.
Many times the willingness to be vulnerable has helped me deal with difficult situations. It doesn’t always transform the situation but many times it has been an agent of personal transformation. Vulnerability can definitely foster personal growth. I was reminded of a poem I wrote to help me work through the grief I was feeling when my physical limitations began challenging my ability to sing. I would like to share that poem of lament with you.
My Voice by Carol Ann Conner
Some of us have a booming voice
Others speak with a lilt
A few are given the gift of song
And must lament
when it is gone.
I don’t know how one ever
fully grieves the loss
to inspire, instill hope,
fill hearts with
their voice
How I wished I had understood
that priceless gift,
shared it more,
given thanks
from my very core.
It is like a part of me
has been violently stripped,
ripped from my being
at the altar
of wasted chances.
Love sang to me
through me,
filling my aching heart
so many times when hope
could not be found.
Thanks for the memories.
Thanks for the reveries.
The lives
I was privileged to touch
with my song
The laughter,
The tears,
The promise,
The fears,
The vulnerability in each note.
Images in the audience
that still thrill me,
still inspire me
and still fill me
with awe and gratitude.
No longer the singer
of the song,
No longer the voice
that’s forever gone
but the music lives on, and on.
beautiful and touching poem Carol.
That was very insightful. Thank you, Carol.
On a daily basis I’m in conversations with professionals who know a lot more than I do about their specialized work, and I’m advocating for changing things they’ve done for years because I know more about certain aspects that weren’t centered in their work in the past. It’s my job to bring about change that sometimes isn’t entirely welcome. When I’m able to listen fully to their expertise and their concerns and be clear that they do know more than I do about a lot of things, I’m being vulnerable. I’m also learning. I don’t know if it transforms the situation; it creates a more collegial and collaborative context for the conversation and that creates space for change to begin.
I will guess you work with some engineers Barb. If so, are you picking up some engineer speak?
You nailed it. And yes, I can now speak with confidence about things like the importance of a tight turning radius at a corner to slow the driver so they have time to see and not hit the pedestrian instead of designing every corner as if a hundred semi-trucks need to pass through it every day. I’ve gotten to learn so much! And when I tell them we have more serious and fatal crashes in poorer neighborhoods where we built wide, fast, busy roads, and that the history of those neighborhoods in urban areas often involves a history of racist redlining, I’m giving them knowledge they didn’t get in engineering school.
Good morning everyone.
I had to chuckle at this question because it speaks so clearly to me this morning.. Vulnerability means trust and letting go to me. Specifically right now, it means trusting that all will be well as I (vulnerably) plan our vacation adventure this May. How fortuitous (and in my mind a “divine intervention”) that Michelle should share that today is “National Plan for Vacation” Day!! 🤗 I am a very anxious traveler and each time we plan a vacation I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. To trust, that no matter what may or may not go “wrong” God will be with us and, as mystic Julian of Norwich says “All manner of things will be well” no matter how many disaster scenarios my anxious brain imagines!
Last night, as I was saying my evening prayers I asked God for wisdom and guidance and an assurance that I should continue down this adventure path. I’m so grateful for answered prayer and today I will continue on with the planning, acknowledging my vulnerability that gives me the opportunity to trust and let go and let God. This is a life lesson for me. This situation is transformed as I go forward with faith…and joy.
love this Diane! Reading your reflection made me smile and I’m happy for you that the National Day coincided with your vacation planning and was a sign for you. I can’t wait to hear about that trip later in the year:)
We were at a gathering and it was apparent that a lady had difficulty managing a simple situation. I assisted with engaging her in conversation and getting her food. It eased her anxiety and the tension in the room. She was so grateful for the gesture.
I am not surprised, Yram. You are a kind person…looking out for others…even those you do not know. God Bless You.
I’m not sure about a specific situation,
but, being vulnerable with the right person
at the right time, can be life changing.
I tend to be perceived as in control
and confident, when in reality, I am
as confused and insecure as anyone.
Even more so. Letting people into my
true world, usually leads to a deepening
of the relationship and a lowering of
anxiety caused by the difference of my
reality, and how I am perceived, and
trying to maintain that fiction.
I began transforming my mental outlook some 23 months and change ago. Being vulnerable, open, honest and with a willingness to change past behaviors. Opening my mind to new thought patterns, acceptance, presence and looking through a lens of gratefulness has helped tremendously for me. Reading and exploring resources, all along the same theme, has also helped. Namaste.
I think you are right about the openness and honesty as the first steps. Perhaps that should be the basis of most conversations. Then we can check for ourselves on whether it makes a difference or not.
I’m most vulnerable during difficult/traumatic/painful times. Relying on inner strength, family/friends,this site and all who participate help me when I need it. Nature too.
Some good Nat’l Days today-> Nat’l Croissant Day, Nat’ Plan For Vacation Day, National Escape Day, Nat’l Yodel For Your Neighbors Day all make me smile and crack up. 😆
https://nationaltoday.com/today/
Thank you all for your responses – made me smile. They have a National Day for everything – believe it or not, there is a National Fart Day that is coming up on Feb 5th, hahahahahaha
oh, Michele with one ‘L’ ya’ll
Yeah, yodeling in any form would require courage.
Michelle….I can’t thank you enough for this! Read my post to see how you were an angel of sorts, delivering a important message for me. I’m reminded that we never know the blessing to others our sharing can be. Thank you for telling us about “National Plan For Vacation Day”….when I read those words (and visited the site) my heart smiled real big! 🥰
Michelle, thank you for the reminders of the whimsical side of life! Talk about making yourself vulnerable; if I were to Yodel for my Neighbor Today, that would fill the bill!
Maybe I will transform National Yodel For Your Neighbor Day to Yodel For Wife This Morning Day! Thanks for the heads-up, Michele. I will let you know how it turns out!
Vulnerability is a reminder of my humanity. I am not perfect. Sometimes I hurt. A willingness to accept this changes my perspective, and so changes the situation.
Laura…Yes! A willingness to accept my vulnerability with self-compassion makes all the difference!
My willingness to be vulnerable helped me to leave a job that had reached maximal remuneration. I was a single mom that just finished a pretty intense divorce. I took a job as a contractor making decent money, but not having any benefits. But, it gave me some much-needed work experience. Within two years, I was able to get a job as an executive in the same healthcare system I had left only a little while before. My vulnerability brought me to a man who also had two children. We combined our homes during the pandemic. We were married after six months. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Life is really nothing but what ifs… Sometimes we delude ourselves into feeling there’s certainty. I’m not ever saying everyone should jump off a cliff. But, making yourself open makes life amazing .
I also love being vulnerable here! You are all beautiful.
I agree with that!!
When the stress of daily living get too much especially due to health issues I look at my Dad’s picture and return to my childhood or teenage years and the times I could get advice from him. I know what he would say and then I handle the problem as he advises. At times I long to be six or ten years old. That is when I hear his voice say ” remember who you are ” .
Love this! I still have my Dad in his 80’s and he still has such wonderful wisdom! I call him when life gets hard. His calming and suggestive ways always helps.
My willingness to be vulnerable creates an even stronger reliance on my faith…..letting go and trusting a higher power transforms all situations.
A couple years ago, I was often in situations facilitating meetings in a spirituality support group via a leadership role. On those occasions when there were challenges about changes that were ahead of us, and fears were heard; I was led by Spirit to share my fears. Transparency is sometimes hard. I needed to be willing to be honest down to the bone. Sometimes others were willing to name their fears or prejudices. One could feel the presence of the Other in the room. The naysayers and bullies were silenced. Grace arrived with Light.
Not to react but staying open while being with the deep pain a situation had caused was very difficult in the beginning, I did not really understand “why”, most probably even did misunderstand the causation, but just staying with it while taking my possible part in it again and again was helpful to clear and let go of any expectations and possible “wrongs” from my side, staying centered as good as possible and without judgment or accusations, leading to some understanding and finally left me humble and deeply grateful. It taught me to wait until things clear by themselves, not interfering, not being impatient and not reacting but simply being true to myself, and to truly having dear friends alongside.
“It taught me to wait until things clear up” reminded me of a statement I recently came upon:
Try not to get ahead of the unfolding.
This reminder has helped me in many a challenging situation.
“Try not to get ahead of the unfolding”…thanks, YRAM. I needed that today.