How could I create a sense of belonging for myself or someone else today?
I used to take great pleasure in making Christmas gifts for my friends and family . . .
hemming handkerchiefs
and stuffing oranges with cloves to be placed in dresser drawers.
I made wooden trays and painted wisteria vines and roses one year,
coasters out of clay saucers,
personalized wall calendars,
sun catchers out of origami cranes and antique crystals,
crocheted snowflakes to hang on their tree.
One year
I even made everyone afghans
to throw on the bed or the sofa . . .
an ambitious venture that I started early.
Later,
I baked boxes of biscotti and fudge,
butterhorns,
and Grandma Warneys’s War-Time Pineapple cookies.
Several people have returned the empty tins to me,
hinting that they’d like a repeat of the gift next year.
I honestly don’t know
if relatives truly appreciated the effort,
and I became tired of torturing myself,
how to please them this year.
I could go the route that most of them have taken . . .
hot house flowers,
Hickory Farms,
stacking boxes of stale pretzels and cheesy popcorn,
but it didn’t appeal to me.
We are all grown up now,
and no one needs another tie
or bottle of ‘Evening in Paris’ cologne.
So.
I have found a surprising way to feel a little better,
and that has been by sending no gifts at all . . .
only sheep and goats and bees and chicks–
to everyone I give gifts to.
Heifer International saved my Christmas spirit,
and I hope that the recipients of the cards announcing these gifts
will be happy for the poor and underprivileged people
who will receive the actual chickens or goats.
Doing this
gives me a strong sense of belonging,
and I hope that the people in whose names I donate,
will feel the warmth of being part of something greater than themselves.
To me,
this is the Spirit of Giving.
And yes,
I will still make cookies
for a few of my local friends too. 🙂
Not sure. This is a timely question for me as I feel kind of “down in the dumps” these days….hard for me to even acknowledge this feeling as it’s a time of “Joy” & as hard as I am trying to get in the spirit I am having a hard time. I know a lot of my feelings are due to missing so many members of my family & husband, all up there somewhere…✨
I acknowledge my feelings of aloneness & do keep myself engaged with others.
I also feel very sad & dismayed by the violence & hate that has reared its ugly head these past few days, past week. I do not understand the hate, the violence, nor people’s lack of love for each other.
I admit I got sucked in to the “news narrative” & this has been so bad for me. Nothing but “fear porn”. I did not protect my peace. ☹️
I don’t recognize this world, this country….My heart hurts for all of us.
However, I do feel a sense of belonging here. Thank you for letting me vent & reading my post.
Thank you to you All here, who are honest, kind, loving & trying to make a difference in your part of the world.
Bless you All…..🙏🏻✨♥️
🕊️♥️
I know the feeling,
dear PKR . . .
I suspect that we all do.
This year
the spewed hate and violence
seems harsher than ‘usual’,
and I am broken hearted for our wounded world.
This year
I am donating in honour of my family and friends . . .
it gives me so much pleasure,
and reminds me
that I belong to this world community . . .
I hope those I have honoured with my donations
will feel the same way.
There are many places where we can do this,
but I chose Heifer International.
Last year
a friend had a tree planted in my honour
and it was my favorite gift. ♥
I know it’s not the same, but I hope you can find some comfort knowing your loved ones are at peace. I believe that if we pause, close our eyes, and imagine our passed loved ones with us that we can truly feel their energy… maybe you might like to try it 💜
I sense a deep loneliness in what you wrote. This is a particularly difficult time of year for that. I generally avoid the entire season because of this and the news because I share your sentiments. Today, I am indulging myself in things that feel pleasurable and I hope that you will too. ❤️
I try to stay connected with friends and family. I also reach out when people are struggling. I try to be kind and welcoming when I’m out in the world.
Growing up as a city person, it’s easy to not make eye contact or say hello and to generally steel myself and guard myself from harm. But these are old and (mostly) unnecessary habits.
I will try to stay open and welcoming to all of the living things.
Thank you for this prompt. 🙏
I was not a city girl
when I stayed in San Francisco for a few months,
dear Charlie.
I didn’t know the ‘no eye contact rule’
and very nearly got myself into some serious trouble.
I am more careful now
who I make eye contact with.
If you no longer need that habit
let it go. ♥
I understand the inter connectedness and belonging i have with every living creature on my planet.
But on a more personal level : Last night my husband was disrespectful to me over a trivialmatter. He prioritized the goodwill of a stranger over the goodwill of our relationship. I said something out of self protection that probably landed hard on him. I later acknowledged this but he chose to hold onto his grievances. We spent our evening apart.
Today is his birthday and He is choosing to withdraw and sulk, responding to me in grunts.
I am not responding to this in my usual way of chasing, capitulation or over compensation. I am not performing joy or making myself small and anxious or waiting in limbo for him to thaw.
I am giving him space to move through his deregulation which unfortunately could take days of the silent treatment. I am staying respectfully open to reconnecting when he is able.
In the meantime, I am going to have a good day. Start with a workout and then I think I will take myself out for pancakes. (Which might be me eating my feelings but yum yum they are tasty feelings LOL) Then a walk on the beach with the ocean as my companion and perhaps a lemony drink.
I will check in occasionally but let him choose his day.
I think this provides opportunity for both of us to find belonging. Ultimately we all belong Firstly to ourselves and to a divine power that knows, heals and loves.
May we all feel a belonging today that is not effected by the moods and motives of others.
Today is a good day.
Been awhile since I was in any similar pickle with my lovely wife Cheryl. But I/we have. So far we have come out stronger rather than resentful. Sounds like you have good game plan, HeatherHoney.
I did! They were huge and fluffy with lots of butter and real maple syrup. I walked the beach from 130 to 430 and traveled a good distance and back. The house was still chilly so at 730 so I took myself out for spaghetti, a glass of cabernet and Tiramisu. I brought the birthday boy a piece which he refused but its in the fridge for when he is interested.
On Wednesdays I see a coworker at a shared meeting, who’s Jewish. I’ll be reaching out, wishing Happy Hanukkah, and seeing how else I can support him. There’s some texts I can send to the next generation…or phone call(s). Warm Winter Blessings to all this Wednesday, especially those sick with flues or COVID. 🫶🏽☮️
Hmm… I’m not so sure. Home sick, so can I create a sense of belonging here? Do I create it or just melt into what already exists here? Maybe I’ll check back later 🙂
I broke down and signed in for a virtual urgent care visit last night when the sinus pressure was just too much. Hopefully the meds she prescribed will help me beat this. I’m not really a meds kind of person, but I know they have a time & place… and for me, that is here & now (or rather, as soon as the pharmacy opens today!).
Thanks, HeatherHoney… easy to snuggle when it’s cold out, although I am making my best effort to take my dogs out for a short visit to the church across the street. I might not be up for a walk, but I can at least let them run in the giant back yard this church has!
mmm… cream of wheat makes me think of being a kid! My mom used to make it all the time. All my friends thought it was weird since it’s not really a Southern thing, but I liked it!
I wish I really loved this prompt—I give myself permission to feel like this is awkward. I can try to be comforting to a friend who lost his 24 year old son. I can be warm to strangers. I can be open to community. However I don’t know if that will instill “belonging.” But I will try.
Avril, I struggled with this too. I had to sit with it for a bit. I think it’s mostly due to my struggle with belonging (or not belonging) in general. It did prompt me to research local meditation centers. Now I just need to take the next step.
I am the I am. We are the we are. As water has sought its level, humans have belonged. We are not separate, here to impose dominion and control. We are one, connected to all life. Here to enjoy the ride, not conduct it. Peace & Love.
This year has been heavy for my team. marked by grief, loss, and stress that we’ve journeyed together.I’ve been thinking deeply about what helps us feel a sense of belonging: being seen, being valued, and knowing we’re not alone.
I wanted to use my small yet hopefully meaningful—a gift and a card—to remind them of the strength we’ve shown and the hope that still calls us forward. The poem is adapted from one my father wrote before we lost him ten years ago. His words have been a source of comfort for me this year, and I hope they bring sense of light and resilience.as we continue to process what shadows we’ve been through
Through Shadows, Toward Light
This year was heavy, the road was long,
We faced the storms and still grew strong.
Through trials deep and skies of gray,
We found our strength along the way.
The nights still dark, yet stars still shone,
Reminding us we’re not alone.
And now a new year calls our name,
With brighter skies and hope aflame.
So lift your heart, let courage stay—
Tomorrow brings a brighter day.
By R. Bergs, (adapted for Peds Rehab 2025 by K,Lynn.).
Right now I think my self of self is a lot of the issue – much like a field full of flowers we all belong . One flower doesn’t sit and “think” that she doesn’t belong . Trees 🌳 don’t fit in their mind and debate their lack of with or belonging! From the universe perspective things are as they are – without any human mind world labels of this is that or that is this .
So today I will continue to use the method is letting go- discarding all of the human mind thought and pictures that I hold onto . All clutter and garbage 🗑️.
The task for me now is to see always the universe.
Without human conceptualizing. A goal of mine each time I observe my surroundings with the senses bestowed upon. Just open up, do not label. I read once that when a bird is named for a child the first time, the child never sees that bird fully again. Thank you Antoinette,
Thank you Joseph. Yes it’s true we see the world through our pictures and labels and not as the whole of the universe of which we are as well. This is a beautiful practice of letting go.
Today’s Action for Happiness suggests exactly the right thing for me to do to create a sense of belonging. Happy Wednesday, everyone! https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
How could I create a sense of belonging for myself or someone else today?
I used to take great pleasure in making Christmas gifts for my friends and family . . .
hemming handkerchiefs
and stuffing oranges with cloves to be placed in dresser drawers.
I made wooden trays and painted wisteria vines and roses one year,
coasters out of clay saucers,
personalized wall calendars,
sun catchers out of origami cranes and antique crystals,
crocheted snowflakes to hang on their tree.
One year
I even made everyone afghans
to throw on the bed or the sofa . . .
an ambitious venture that I started early.
Later,
I baked boxes of biscotti and fudge,
butterhorns,
and Grandma Warneys’s War-Time Pineapple cookies.
Several people have returned the empty tins to me,
hinting that they’d like a repeat of the gift next year.
I honestly don’t know
if relatives truly appreciated the effort,
and I became tired of torturing myself,
how to please them this year.
I could go the route that most of them have taken . . .
hot house flowers,
Hickory Farms,
stacking boxes of stale pretzels and cheesy popcorn,
but it didn’t appeal to me.
We are all grown up now,
and no one needs another tie
or bottle of ‘Evening in Paris’ cologne.
So.
I have found a surprising way to feel a little better,
and that has been by sending no gifts at all . . .
only sheep and goats and bees and chicks–
to everyone I give gifts to.
Heifer International saved my Christmas spirit,
and I hope that the recipients of the cards announcing these gifts
will be happy for the poor and underprivileged people
who will receive the actual chickens or goats.
Doing this
gives me a strong sense of belonging,
and I hope that the people in whose names I donate,
will feel the warmth of being part of something greater than themselves.
To me,
this is the Spirit of Giving.
And yes,
I will still make cookies
for a few of my local friends too. 🙂
This is a great idea! I’m looking into it now.
Thank you 🙏
That makes me happy,
dear Charlie . . . ♥
That is the spirit of giving, and it will most definitely be appreciated… especially by those getting the goats or chickens or cows 🐄🤍
I think so too,
dear SunnyPatti,
and don’t know why it took me so long. ♥
Love this….thank you!
I love the idea of donating
as gifts to people
who don’t want or need for anything,
dear EJP.
It makes me wonder
why it took so long. ♥
Not sure. This is a timely question for me as I feel kind of “down in the dumps” these days….hard for me to even acknowledge this feeling as it’s a time of “Joy” & as hard as I am trying to get in the spirit I am having a hard time. I know a lot of my feelings are due to missing so many members of my family & husband, all up there somewhere…✨
I acknowledge my feelings of aloneness & do keep myself engaged with others.
I also feel very sad & dismayed by the violence & hate that has reared its ugly head these past few days, past week. I do not understand the hate, the violence, nor people’s lack of love for each other.
I admit I got sucked in to the “news narrative” & this has been so bad for me. Nothing but “fear porn”. I did not protect my peace. ☹️
I don’t recognize this world, this country….My heart hurts for all of us.
However, I do feel a sense of belonging here. Thank you for letting me vent & reading my post.
Thank you to you All here, who are honest, kind, loving & trying to make a difference in your part of the world.
Bless you All…..🙏🏻✨♥️
🕊️♥️
sending you a virtual hug 🤗
Thank you and may blessings flow toward you, PKR. 🕊️
I know the feeling,
dear PKR . . .
I suspect that we all do.
This year
the spewed hate and violence
seems harsher than ‘usual’,
and I am broken hearted for our wounded world.
This year
I am donating in honour of my family and friends . . .
it gives me so much pleasure,
and reminds me
that I belong to this world community . . .
I hope those I have honoured with my donations
will feel the same way.
There are many places where we can do this,
but I chose Heifer International.
Last year
a friend had a tree planted in my honour
and it was my favorite gift. ♥
I know it’s not the same, but I hope you can find some comfort knowing your loved ones are at peace. I believe that if we pause, close our eyes, and imagine our passed loved ones with us that we can truly feel their energy… maybe you might like to try it 💜
I sense a deep loneliness in what you wrote. This is a particularly difficult time of year for that. I generally avoid the entire season because of this and the news because I share your sentiments. Today, I am indulging myself in things that feel pleasurable and I hope that you will too. ❤️
I try to stay connected with friends and family. I also reach out when people are struggling. I try to be kind and welcoming when I’m out in the world.
Growing up as a city person, it’s easy to not make eye contact or say hello and to generally steel myself and guard myself from harm. But these are old and (mostly) unnecessary habits.
I will try to stay open and welcoming to all of the living things.
Thank you for this prompt. 🙏
I was not a city girl
when I stayed in San Francisco for a few months,
dear Charlie.
I didn’t know the ‘no eye contact rule’
and very nearly got myself into some serious trouble.
I am more careful now
who I make eye contact with.
If you no longer need that habit
let it go. ♥
Sorry about my previous response telling you to feel better soon. I was responding to someone else and my phone glitches. I deleted the comment
I understand the inter connectedness and belonging i have with every living creature on my planet.
But on a more personal level : Last night my husband was disrespectful to me over a trivialmatter. He prioritized the goodwill of a stranger over the goodwill of our relationship. I said something out of self protection that probably landed hard on him. I later acknowledged this but he chose to hold onto his grievances. We spent our evening apart.
Today is his birthday and He is choosing to withdraw and sulk, responding to me in grunts.
I am not responding to this in my usual way of chasing, capitulation or over compensation. I am not performing joy or making myself small and anxious or waiting in limbo for him to thaw.
I am giving him space to move through his deregulation which unfortunately could take days of the silent treatment. I am staying respectfully open to reconnecting when he is able.
In the meantime, I am going to have a good day. Start with a workout and then I think I will take myself out for pancakes. (Which might be me eating my feelings but yum yum they are tasty feelings LOL) Then a walk on the beach with the ocean as my companion and perhaps a lemony drink.
I will check in occasionally but let him choose his day.
I think this provides opportunity for both of us to find belonging. Ultimately we all belong Firstly to ourselves and to a divine power that knows, heals and loves.
May we all feel a belonging today that is not effected by the moods and motives of others.
Today is a good day.
Been awhile since I was in any similar pickle with my lovely wife Cheryl. But I/we have. So far we have come out stronger rather than resentful. Sounds like you have good game plan, HeatherHoney.
I pray,
dear Heather,
that you both come through this
with courage and with love . . . ♥
I hope you enjoyed your pancakes and walk by the ocean! And I hope your husband can move past what happened and enjoy his birthday.
I did! They were huge and fluffy with lots of butter and real maple syrup. I walked the beach from 130 to 430 and traveled a good distance and back. The house was still chilly so at 730 so I took myself out for spaghetti, a glass of cabernet and Tiramisu. I brought the birthday boy a piece which he refused but its in the fridge for when he is interested.
Sounds like you had a good day.
As for the birthday boy, there is still hope… and a piece of tiramisu!
Yes, HeatherHoney today is a good day.
Take care of yourself & if your husband wants to stew, let him…..!
Enjoy your time at the ocean. ♥️
This is tough. I am sending you vibes for a peace-filled movement to resolution.
I agree it’s a hard day. move with peace and intention and stay present and if you can place it with your God. He will take it from there for you.
I can welcome flaws, shortcomings, quirks, mistakes, forgetfulness–in myself and others.
On Wednesdays I see a coworker at a shared meeting, who’s Jewish. I’ll be reaching out, wishing Happy Hanukkah, and seeing how else I can support him. There’s some texts I can send to the next generation…or phone call(s). Warm Winter Blessings to all this Wednesday, especially those sick with flues or COVID. 🫶🏽☮️
Happy Hanukkah 🕎
Happy Hanukkah
to those of kindred faith. ♥
Blessings to you, too, Carla – and to all of our Jewish friends and loved ones 🙏🏼
Yes, Happy Hanukkah to all our Jewish family & friends. 🕎
Hmm… I’m not so sure. Home sick, so can I create a sense of belonging here? Do I create it or just melt into what already exists here? Maybe I’ll check back later 🙂
I hope you feel better SunnyPatti.
Thank you, Michele 🙏🏼
I hope you can beat this cold soon,
dear SunnyPatti . . .♥
I broke down and signed in for a virtual urgent care visit last night when the sinus pressure was just too much. Hopefully the meds she prescribed will help me beat this. I’m not really a meds kind of person, but I know they have a time & place… and for me, that is here & now (or rather, as soon as the pharmacy opens today!).
Feel better Sunnypatti. 🤗
Thank you, PKR 💜
Feel better soon and snuggle up
Thanks, HeatherHoney… easy to snuggle when it’s cold out, although I am making my best effort to take my dogs out for a short visit to the church across the street. I might not be up for a walk, but I can at least let them run in the giant back yard this church has!
Feel better soon! For me, hot tea while sick feels like a sense of warmth and belonging.
Thanks, Drea! I am definitely drinking hot tea on and off 🍵
Today calls for self-care.
and to all the Canadians, guess what today is…
https://nationaltoday.com/national-maple-syrup-day/
I love those maple sugar candies
in the shapes of maple leaves
and pilgrims,
dear Michele.
I shouldn’t eat them though.
They are just too delicious. ♥
Well then Im definitely having pancakes . It will have to be maple flavor though cuz there isn’t any real syrup where I am.
I had cream of wheat and added some maple syrup in it, was delicious.
mmm… cream of wheat makes me think of being a kid! My mom used to make it all the time. All my friends thought it was weird since it’s not really a Southern thing, but I liked it!
I wish I really loved this prompt—I give myself permission to feel like this is awkward. I can try to be comforting to a friend who lost his 24 year old son. I can be warm to strangers. I can be open to community. However I don’t know if that will instill “belonging.” But I will try.
You can feel awkward or not,
dear Avril . . .
you are participating in ‘belonging’,
no matter how you feel about it.
Very True!
Avril, I struggled with this too. I had to sit with it for a bit. I think it’s mostly due to my struggle with belonging (or not belonging) in general. It did prompt me to research local meditation centers. Now I just need to take the next step.
I too can feel like I am an outsider. But one of my communities is my meditation family!
With simple kindness and a smile……
I can be open to connecting.
I can be willing
I can keep commitments and show up with an open heart
I like this. Well said. Thank you. 🙏
I am the I am. We are the we are. As water has sought its level, humans have belonged. We are not separate, here to impose dominion and control. We are one, connected to all life. Here to enjoy the ride, not conduct it. Peace & Love.
Maybe,
dear Joseph,
we need to tell this truth to our leaders. ♥
This year has been heavy for my team. marked by grief, loss, and stress that we’ve journeyed together.I’ve been thinking deeply about what helps us feel a sense of belonging: being seen, being valued, and knowing we’re not alone.
I wanted to use my small yet hopefully meaningful—a gift and a card—to remind them of the strength we’ve shown and the hope that still calls us forward. The poem is adapted from one my father wrote before we lost him ten years ago. His words have been a source of comfort for me this year, and I hope they bring sense of light and resilience.as we continue to process what shadows we’ve been through
Through Shadows, Toward Light
This year was heavy, the road was long,
We faced the storms and still grew strong.
Through trials deep and skies of gray,
We found our strength along the way.
The nights still dark, yet stars still shone,
Reminding us we’re not alone.
And now a new year calls our name,
With brighter skies and hope aflame.
So lift your heart, let courage stay—
Tomorrow brings a brighter day.
By R. Bergs, (adapted for Peds Rehab 2025 by K,Lynn.).
Thank you,
dear Kelli Lynn,
for sharing your father’s poem with us.
It has much to say about hope. ♥
A beautiful poem, thanks to you and your father Kelli Lynn.
Right now I think my self of self is a lot of the issue – much like a field full of flowers we all belong . One flower doesn’t sit and “think” that she doesn’t belong . Trees 🌳 don’t fit in their mind and debate their lack of with or belonging! From the universe perspective things are as they are – without any human mind world labels of this is that or that is this .
So today I will continue to use the method is letting go- discarding all of the human mind thought and pictures that I hold onto . All clutter and garbage 🗑️.
The task for me now is to see always the universe.
Without human conceptualizing. A goal of mine each time I observe my surroundings with the senses bestowed upon. Just open up, do not label. I read once that when a bird is named for a child the first time, the child never sees that bird fully again. Thank you Antoinette,
I’m conflicted
on this concept,
dear Joseph,
but thank you for giving me some insight. ♥
Thank you Joseph. Yes it’s true we see the world through our pictures and labels and not as the whole of the universe of which we are as well. This is a beautiful practice of letting go.
Today’s Action for Happiness suggests exactly the right thing for me to do to create a sense of belonging. Happy Wednesday, everyone!
https://actionforhappiness.org/calendar
My Ngoc, combining both our answers, that’s sharing without personal agendas.