I think I can create a sense of belonging for myself by just giving myself space to be me. I’m realizing that’s hard for me — I’m always adapting to others needs and like telling myself I am not being understanding enough or giving enough. I tend to really beat myself up a lot over all kinds of things that are silly to beat oneself up for and find someway of like incriminating myself or making myself feel lowly. I think I do this because I’m so used to people being more hostile and in bad moods so like I tell myself it’s my fault for not adapting to their needs and being understanding enough. Then I feel this guilt for having as much happiness as I do — when really I’m not even sure that arises out of badness so much as just being simpler, more willing to be content and find the positives. I always feel this guilt at being happy, like I’m somehow not trying to be good or kind or something enough if I just am like — happy in my life because most people seem so unhappy. So then I feel I’m supposed to fix all these problems, take on people’s hardships, beat myself up and like twist and pretzel myself to appease their unhappiness. I think I give myself permission to just be happy. Period.
Inviting and sitting together with a friend of someone in order to solve a problem all together, which today turned out to become a personal, compassionate encounter including the chance of really solving the task at hand; by listening, mirroring and speaking kind but clear with a couple who were running into being quite unkind to each other, which led to more understanding in those two sensitive people and which helped them focus and relate again on their belonging instead of what would separate them; when leaving the workplace, always offering a heartfelt thank you to the people i have been gifted to work with in harmonious and supportive way all together.
How could I create a sense of belonging for myself or someone else today? It has been a busy day for me. I am going through several boxes of my deceased sister’s papers, sorting what needs to be shredded from what does not. I baked a cake and have given pieces of it to the mail man and my neighbors. The dentists office called to remind me of an appointment tomorrow and I thanked the receptionist by name which seemed to please her. While doing all this, I’ve been listening to music from the 1950’s and I don’t think there has been a song that I can’t sing along with. The lyrics are so familiar to me! So I feel my actions today have touched others in a positive way and seem to have lifted my spirit, too. I think when we reach out to others, we move from longing to belonging.
What a beautiful day you created, Carol. I see the surprised smiles on the faces of the cake recipients!
« I think when we reach out to others, we move from longing to belonging »; that is bumper sticker material! Thank you.
Anyone else noticing that something is wrong with the display of our little circle icons? Mine is a sideways letter V (like a less-than sign) in a yellow circle and many of your names don’t have anything next to them, or a similar yellow circle with < or a single letter.
I’ll be going into my office building midday after working at home in the morning. In the past I’ve asked the names of the people who staff the front desk and I’ll greet them by name when I come in.
I have various work meetings and can think about how I bring belonging into those. We always have a “connection before content” moment in my staff meetings and we have one of those today. In other meetings that isn’t necessarily on the agenda; I can create the connection and belonging by asking how people spent the long weekend before we plunge into work.
This afternoon I’m getting my hair cut. The relationship with a hairdresser is an especially personal one. I’ve been going to Kim since shortly after we moved here thanks to the recommendation of a coworker. She’s listened to all the trials of our home remodel and I’ve shared pictures with her in the past. Today I’ll tell her about my cooking extravaganza over the weekend (lots and lots of canning! Chutney and jams and apples) and how much I love the space we created.
When I interact today, I will say the person’s name in conversation.
I will thank myself for being who I am….
sister, wife, giver of care, parent, grandmother, elder, friend, teacher, learner, seeker etc.
I teach a meditation class tonight and I have the opportunity to chat with my students, to stretch them, to relax them, and I have been closing with poetry (mostly from this website). I fill my soul by sharing these teachings and techniques to them.
By speaking to people wherever we go today. My husband has a follow up interview with a fancy gun club, and I’m going with him to meet the family that owns it since, if this works out, I will be involved in helping run the catering. We shall see. There are some spots we’d like to hit up to look at couches, and since they are local, I’d like to chat with owners/employees and start the process of us becoming part of the community here. I look forward to meeting lots of nice folks today!
My husband and I moved four years ago. Introducing ourselves to servers at restaurants has made us regulars greeted by name at our favorite restaurant in particular. One server gave me marigold seeds that are now blooming by my tomato plants. My husband is especially good at this; thanks to him we know the name of the regular bus driver on our route, the postal carrier, others in our lives. Greeting people by their name definitely creates belonging.
Today is my Menards piano day. Playing the piano creates a sense of belonging for others, because it brightens their day and makes their shopping experience feel comfortable. My sense of belonging comes from getting to do what I enjoy.
Today is a travel day for my husband and I. We have been at a cousin’s home for the last 3 days and what a wonderful visit it has been. She lives in Upstate NY…my home state! She has made us feel that we belong…and has been kind and sharing on her beautiful land. Today we head towards Ohio to a State Park for a few days and we move onward towards Michigan. We live in a beautiful country…and we belong here. As we move along; I will try very hard to smile and be welcoming to people I meet. This country belongs to all of us. It is our home far and wide..and how Blessed we are. Wishing everyone here a very wonderful day full of God’s Blessings.
Nannette, Yes, this country belongs to all of us and if you have traveled in other countries, you know how small they are. May our country be truly united and appreciated.
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I think I can create a sense of belonging for myself by just giving myself space to be me. I’m realizing that’s hard for me — I’m always adapting to others needs and like telling myself I am not being understanding enough or giving enough. I tend to really beat myself up a lot over all kinds of things that are silly to beat oneself up for and find someway of like incriminating myself or making myself feel lowly. I think I do this because I’m so used to people being more hostile and in bad moods so like I tell myself it’s my fault for not adapting to their needs and being understanding enough. Then I feel this guilt for having as much happiness as I do — when really I’m not even sure that arises out of badness so much as just being simpler, more willing to be content and find the positives. I always feel this guilt at being happy, like I’m somehow not trying to be good or kind or something enough if I just am like — happy in my life because most people seem so unhappy. So then I feel I’m supposed to fix all these problems, take on people’s hardships, beat myself up and like twist and pretzel myself to appease their unhappiness. I think I give myself permission to just be happy. Period.
Inviting and sitting together with a friend of someone in order to solve a problem all together, which today turned out to become a personal, compassionate encounter including the chance of really solving the task at hand; by listening, mirroring and speaking kind but clear with a couple who were running into being quite unkind to each other, which led to more understanding in those two sensitive people and which helped them focus and relate again on their belonging instead of what would separate them; when leaving the workplace, always offering a heartfelt thank you to the people i have been gifted to work with in harmonious and supportive way all together.
How could I create a sense of belonging for myself or someone else today? It has been a busy day for me. I am going through several boxes of my deceased sister’s papers, sorting what needs to be shredded from what does not. I baked a cake and have given pieces of it to the mail man and my neighbors. The dentists office called to remind me of an appointment tomorrow and I thanked the receptionist by name which seemed to please her. While doing all this, I’ve been listening to music from the 1950’s and I don’t think there has been a song that I can’t sing along with. The lyrics are so familiar to me! So I feel my actions today have touched others in a positive way and seem to have lifted my spirit, too. I think when we reach out to others, we move from longing to belonging.
What a beautiful day you created, Carol. I see the surprised smiles on the faces of the cake recipients!
« I think when we reach out to others, we move from longing to belonging »; that is bumper sticker material! Thank you.
Anyone else noticing that something is wrong with the display of our little circle icons? Mine is a sideways letter V (like a less-than sign) in a yellow circle and many of your names don’t have anything next to them, or a similar yellow circle with < or a single letter.
I have not noticed anything like this on my end, Barb. So perhaps it is spotty for some reason.
Yes, I’ve noticed too – my photo isn’t there.
Been going on close to week now…Tech issue for the techs!
Barb, I just noticed it now. Something’s off. We’ll have to slow down, think twice, and be extra careful when we type for the time being.
Me too. I also can’t edit my posts anymore. I have to be really careful about typos!
Yes, it is very odd.
I’ll be going into my office building midday after working at home in the morning. In the past I’ve asked the names of the people who staff the front desk and I’ll greet them by name when I come in.
I have various work meetings and can think about how I bring belonging into those. We always have a “connection before content” moment in my staff meetings and we have one of those today. In other meetings that isn’t necessarily on the agenda; I can create the connection and belonging by asking how people spent the long weekend before we plunge into work.
This afternoon I’m getting my hair cut. The relationship with a hairdresser is an especially personal one. I’ve been going to Kim since shortly after we moved here thanks to the recommendation of a coworker. She’s listened to all the trials of our home remodel and I’ve shared pictures with her in the past. Today I’ll tell her about my cooking extravaganza over the weekend (lots and lots of canning! Chutney and jams and apples) and how much I love the space we created.
I will buy my mom a flight ticket and invite her to Minnesota, where I live, for a visit and exploration.
My Ngoc, that would be very exciting.
When I interact today, I will say the person’s name in conversation.
I will thank myself for being who I am….
sister, wife, giver of care, parent, grandmother, elder, friend, teacher, learner, seeker etc.
Yram, I can relate to the 2nd part you mentioned. I’m happy with the man I’m continuing to mature into and feel comfortable in my own skin.
Giving smiles and saying “ I appreciate …”. Acknowledging whoever and whatever they do to touch my life today.
I teach a meditation class tonight and I have the opportunity to chat with my students, to stretch them, to relax them, and I have been closing with poetry (mostly from this website). I fill my soul by sharing these teachings and techniques to them.
By speaking to people wherever we go today. My husband has a follow up interview with a fancy gun club, and I’m going with him to meet the family that owns it since, if this works out, I will be involved in helping run the catering. We shall see. There are some spots we’d like to hit up to look at couches, and since they are local, I’d like to chat with owners/employees and start the process of us becoming part of the community here. I look forward to meeting lots of nice folks today!
My husband and I moved four years ago. Introducing ourselves to servers at restaurants has made us regulars greeted by name at our favorite restaurant in particular. One server gave me marigold seeds that are now blooming by my tomato plants. My husband is especially good at this; thanks to him we know the name of the regular bus driver on our route, the postal carrier, others in our lives. Greeting people by their name definitely creates belonging.
Sunnypatti, I wish you guys the best of luck.
Today is my Menards piano day. Playing the piano creates a sense of belonging for others, because it brightens their day and makes their shopping experience feel comfortable. My sense of belonging comes from getting to do what I enjoy.
Oh yes, music empowers the musician and the audience! Energy flows from the stage and to the stage.
Today is a travel day for my husband and I. We have been at a cousin’s home for the last 3 days and what a wonderful visit it has been. She lives in Upstate NY…my home state! She has made us feel that we belong…and has been kind and sharing on her beautiful land. Today we head towards Ohio to a State Park for a few days and we move onward towards Michigan. We live in a beautiful country…and we belong here. As we move along; I will try very hard to smile and be welcoming to people I meet. This country belongs to all of us. It is our home far and wide..and how Blessed we are. Wishing everyone here a very wonderful day full of God’s Blessings.
Continued safe travels to you and your husband.
Nannette, Yes, this country belongs to all of us and if you have traveled in other countries, you know how small they are. May our country be truly united and appreciated.
Safe travels, Nannette!
Simply acknowledging the person, smiling, saying hello. It goes a long way.
Show up with an open stance, a smile, a welcoming disposition to friends and strangers alike. Be available.
Active listening