Usually walking in nature, going to Church/prayers, listening to music, support groups, yoga and of course this website. I also will look for podcasts or find self-help information. Talking to friends and family. My therapist is also back from her 3 mos medical leave and she is wonderful to talk to about anything.
When I think of doing difficult things,
the emotion I am mostly dealing with
is anxiety. So, for me, breathing, meditating,
exercise, therapy, and talking with friends,
seems to help lower my anxiety and help
to problem solve. And maybe most of all,
is surrendering.
Meditation.
Spending time in prayer with the Divine.
My yoga practice.
Walking, spending time with Mother Nature.
Listening to Music.
RIP Kris Kristofferson.🙏🏻🖤🎶
And remembering my breath. Deep breathing.
I like the phrase, from how we were taught what to do if we ever caught fire: Stop. Drop. And roll. When facing something difficult my mind, and perhaps heart beat, tend to speed up, and my mentality is that of one of speeding up to power through. But going too fast does not often give me strength or actually sped up getting through the difficulty. So, I try to stop or pause and calm a bit. Drop meaning reassess expectations either my own, or what the real expectations are from others and not what I think they are. Drop also any outsized concerns or catastrophizing; bring things down to proportion (a minute of stillness, or an internal monologue, or a prayer will help). And then, having stopped, and dropped, I can roll with it: not avoid or procrastinate, nor proceeding faster than I can think. A conscious stop or pause. A prayerful dropping down. And then putting one foot in front of the other to manage or attend to the difficult situation.
I’ve always liked a line from a little poem written by Catherine McAuley, “Attend to one thing at a time: you’ve fifteen hours from 6 to 9.”
I usually weigh my options. Sometimes I make a pros and cons list, or analyze why I want things to go one way or the other. If I am facing something difficult I have to overcome, something I didn’t choose. I utilize my friends and family for support. I will also exercise more and try to focus on what I learned form the difficult situation. I’m currently going through a break up so in addition to the previous, I’m trying to find forgiveness and understanding for why things went the way they did. It is really hard as I feel like I’m the vicitm and have been lied to.
I call on my ancestors and claim their strength; I do breath exercises; I call someone and check on them and at all times, I practice mindfulness. I often ask “What can I learn from this situation?
When I can think about something directly as a challenge or difficulty, I draw on the knowledge that I’ve gotten through so many things in the past and that whatever happens, I’ll be able to move forward with new understanding from lessons learned.
In the moment, it depends on the situation. I may simply need to pause, breathe, and make sure I pull my shoulders away from my ears if they’ve crept up in anticipation of difficulty. Adjusting my posture adjusts my mind.
I may need to go for a walk to give my mind time and space to work through something.
I may need to meditate; although I don’t have a daily practice at this point, I do meditate on occasion and when I’m aware that I’m especially stirred up I make a point of doing so.
I may need a good night’s sleep, since things usually look better in the morning. Insight may arise because my subconscious has had a chance to reorganize overnight.
And there’s always chocolate! Seriously, sitting down to appreciate a good meal or a simple treat can be a respite from difficulty and remind me to meet my body’s needs so I’m emotionally and mentally better able to deal with whatever it is.
Barb, so many reminders here, thank you. I wrote a couple down for myself, including the one Deann liked, « shoulders away from ears ». Enjoy your day.
I always go back to the breath. If I can control my breath, I can manage my thoughts and stay strong, or at least as strong as I can be. The past several days have been a struggle, as we got hit pretty hard by Hurricane Helene. Who’d have thought the mountains would get hit so hard? There are people stranded, and even though we lost all services, I’m grateful it wasn’t worse. We are alive and in Charlotte as of last night.
SunmyPatti, you are like sunshine showing up here this morning. I have looked at photos of Helene’s path in your area and think of you each time. So good to hear from you. All the best in this huge challenge.
Thank you so much – you and everyone else here for all the kind words and support.
The house we are renting is okay. No power, water, or wifi, but they are working on those things and last I saw they expect power back by Friday. They were putting up emergency cell towers so that people could connect and check on each other. Our generator wasn’t strong enough to power everything and our landlord never came over to try and help us hook it up to the water line (i’d have taken running water over electricity), so we left. Tried to stay in a closer town where we got gas, but everyone was full, so we decided to come to Charlotte.
Please pray for those in Lake Lure, Chimney Rock, Bat Cave, Edneyville, Asheville…. there are so many towns I could mention that were flooded and some places totally taken out by mudslides and overflowing rivers going down mountains. We have friends who owned businesses in Chimney Rock, and one of my good friends has family in Bat Cave who lost literally everything. It’s incredibly sad.
I am so relieved you are ok!!! I’ve been thinking about you, your husband, pets, business. The news on your area of western NC are terrible – I recognize the names-Lake Lure, Bat Cave.
Prayers for all of you.
I’m glad you’re okay, too! I don’t know how it was where you are, but we got it WAY worse than my sister and her family in Milton, FL. They were fortunate to be on the “good” side of the storm. We live about 15 minutes south of Lake Lure, which was destroyed along with Chimney Rock & Bat Cave. And then there’s Asheville and so many towns around it and into Tennessee. I still can’t believe it happened.
Ironically,
this is just the opportunity to practice your abilities to handle this dire misfortune,
and put your tools to work,
dear Sunnypatti . . .
I send you light and strength
with love…
sparrow ♥
No sign of Kevin for a long time. He mentioned at one point that his ankylosing spondylitis was an increasing factor in what he could do in a day. I hope he’s still rowing with his team.
Timely question since I am facing something that feels difficult to me.
After twelve years in assisted living, memory care,
I received a notice that the facility is closing
and my Mom needs to be out in 45 days.
Mom doesn’t have a memory deficit.
She is in memory care for anxiety and depression,
and she likes it there.
My husband and I moved quickly
and got her into another facility which does not fit her needs as well,
but is the best we can do for now.
Mom is so scared and I am the person who will be there
for her emotional support and to problem solve.
So I need to be strong, be there for her,
but not allow myself to be pulled under,
not allow her fear, sadness and anxiety
become my fear, sadness and anxiety.
Tools to get me through this-
getting outside everyday and gratefully taking in the beauty of nature,
taking quiet time each day to reflect on gratefulness
and perhaps begin a meditation practice.
Spending time with Mom,
without letting the time with her deplete me.
Getting plenty of rest, eat well,
and saving time and energy for the things that I enjoy.
As Julian of Norwich said
All will be well, all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.
Blessings to all! ♥️
Mary, simply acknowledging your situation is so tender, so important, and potentially very stressful. I am holding a space in my heart for your Mom’s transition and for your well-being as you assit her. Godspeed.
Thank you Mary.
I’m so pleased that you responded.
I’m trying to find a place a nice place that Mom might like
while also considering what she can afford.
♥️♥️♥️
Action is a word that comes to mind. I can’t credit this quote, yet I have relied on it in my life. « Nothing relieves anxiety like action ».My action is often writing, flow is consciousness, as the situation works itself out. Talking with a trusted other can be helpful to me. And sometimes, just reflecting on how I got this far in life, tells me I can manage what’s coming my way. And each of your ideas, so helpful. Thanks!
Mary, I resignate with this as someone with a lead-by-example leadership style. I will use my voice when called upon. My general principle is that doing must always be equal to or greater than talking.
I have prayer always –it is my “go to”. I know that even when circumstances seem to upend my world. God is there with me and beside me in all things of my life. Not easy at all…but it gives me the strength to go on.
My Ngoc, speaking of supportive people, this reminds me of my self-esteem class during my autism transition program school days. The first thing our instructor, Jim, asked us everyday when we enter class is “Who has helped your self-esteem.” The rule is that we had to use a different person everyday. His purpose is to help us feel more comfortable with interacting with the people beyond our circle. Autism and introversion look similar. Attachment to our inner circle is the common thread. My version is similar but easier, because it refreshes every Monday. Even with a smaller circle, having 6 other people who influence our self-esteem beyond each other is within reach. It starts and ends with looking beyond the surface and appreciating care from every angle. Especially with the ladder, the more we’re able to do that, the more effective we’ll be when caring for others.
Prayer, meditation, reading, listening to a podcast, writing, listening to music and most important after prayer, talking to my mom or sitting quietly listening to my dad in my head.
Give yourself the gift of free bi-monthly inspiration including uplifting articles, diverse stories, supportive practices, videos, and more, delivered with heart to your inbox.
Usually walking in nature, going to Church/prayers, listening to music, support groups, yoga and of course this website. I also will look for podcasts or find self-help information. Talking to friends and family. My therapist is also back from her 3 mos medical leave and she is wonderful to talk to about anything.
When I think of doing difficult things,
the emotion I am mostly dealing with
is anxiety. So, for me, breathing, meditating,
exercise, therapy, and talking with friends,
seems to help lower my anxiety and help
to problem solve. And maybe most of all,
is surrendering.
Meditation.
Spending time in prayer with the Divine.
My yoga practice.
Walking, spending time with Mother Nature.
Listening to Music.
RIP Kris Kristofferson.🙏🏻🖤🎶
And remembering my breath. Deep breathing.
Mr. Kristofferson, one of the original outlaw country musicians. RIP
I like the phrase, from how we were taught what to do if we ever caught fire: Stop. Drop. And roll. When facing something difficult my mind, and perhaps heart beat, tend to speed up, and my mentality is that of one of speeding up to power through. But going too fast does not often give me strength or actually sped up getting through the difficulty. So, I try to stop or pause and calm a bit. Drop meaning reassess expectations either my own, or what the real expectations are from others and not what I think they are. Drop also any outsized concerns or catastrophizing; bring things down to proportion (a minute of stillness, or an internal monologue, or a prayer will help). And then, having stopped, and dropped, I can roll with it: not avoid or procrastinate, nor proceeding faster than I can think. A conscious stop or pause. A prayerful dropping down. And then putting one foot in front of the other to manage or attend to the difficult situation.
I’ve always liked a line from a little poem written by Catherine McAuley, “Attend to one thing at a time: you’ve fifteen hours from 6 to 9.”
Stop drop and roll is a great bit of advice the way you describe it. Thank you for sharing.
I usually weigh my options. Sometimes I make a pros and cons list, or analyze why I want things to go one way or the other. If I am facing something difficult I have to overcome, something I didn’t choose. I utilize my friends and family for support. I will also exercise more and try to focus on what I learned form the difficult situation. I’m currently going through a break up so in addition to the previous, I’m trying to find forgiveness and understanding for why things went the way they did. It is really hard as I feel like I’m the vicitm and have been lied to.
I call on my ancestors and claim their strength; I do breath exercises; I call someone and check on them and at all times, I practice mindfulness. I often ask “What can I learn from this situation?
When I can think about something directly as a challenge or difficulty, I draw on the knowledge that I’ve gotten through so many things in the past and that whatever happens, I’ll be able to move forward with new understanding from lessons learned.
In the moment, it depends on the situation. I may simply need to pause, breathe, and make sure I pull my shoulders away from my ears if they’ve crept up in anticipation of difficulty. Adjusting my posture adjusts my mind.
I may need to go for a walk to give my mind time and space to work through something.
I may need to meditate; although I don’t have a daily practice at this point, I do meditate on occasion and when I’m aware that I’m especially stirred up I make a point of doing so.
I may need a good night’s sleep, since things usually look better in the morning. Insight may arise because my subconscious has had a chance to reorganize overnight.
And there’s always chocolate! Seriously, sitting down to appreciate a good meal or a simple treat can be a respite from difficulty and remind me to meet my body’s needs so I’m emotionally and mentally better able to deal with whatever it is.
Barb, so many reminders here, thank you. I wrote a couple down for myself, including the one Deann liked, « shoulders away from ears ». Enjoy your day.
I love all of this! I love the idea of taking your shoulders out of your ears.
It always helps me to have the hunger quelled when pondering a challenge or complication Barb. It is a good point to mention.
Gotta feed the brain so it can work!
I always go back to the breath. If I can control my breath, I can manage my thoughts and stay strong, or at least as strong as I can be. The past several days have been a struggle, as we got hit pretty hard by Hurricane Helene. Who’d have thought the mountains would get hit so hard? There are people stranded, and even though we lost all services, I’m grateful it wasn’t worse. We are alive and in Charlotte as of last night.
Sunnypatti, I am glad you are well! Such a scary experience!
I live in Northeastern Florida so we got off pretty easy.
Wishing you the best!
SunmyPatti, you are like sunshine showing up here this morning. I have looked at photos of Helene’s path in your area and think of you each time. So good to hear from you. All the best in this huge challenge.
Thank you so much – you and everyone else here for all the kind words and support.
The house we are renting is okay. No power, water, or wifi, but they are working on those things and last I saw they expect power back by Friday. They were putting up emergency cell towers so that people could connect and check on each other. Our generator wasn’t strong enough to power everything and our landlord never came over to try and help us hook it up to the water line (i’d have taken running water over electricity), so we left. Tried to stay in a closer town where we got gas, but everyone was full, so we decided to come to Charlotte.
Please pray for those in Lake Lure, Chimney Rock, Bat Cave, Edneyville, Asheville…. there are so many towns I could mention that were flooded and some places totally taken out by mudslides and overflowing rivers going down mountains. We have friends who owned businesses in Chimney Rock, and one of my good friends has family in Bat Cave who lost literally everything. It’s incredibly sad.
I just can’t imagine what the aftermath is.
Thinking of you and so many others.
I am so relieved you are ok!!! I’ve been thinking about you, your husband, pets, business. The news on your area of western NC are terrible – I recognize the names-Lake Lure, Bat Cave.
Prayers for all of you.
I’m glad you’re okay, too! I don’t know how it was where you are, but we got it WAY worse than my sister and her family in Milton, FL. They were fortunate to be on the “good” side of the storm. We live about 15 minutes south of Lake Lure, which was destroyed along with Chimney Rock & Bat Cave. And then there’s Asheville and so many towns around it and into Tennessee. I still can’t believe it happened.
So glad you are okay. I hope your rental is okay too.
So glad you are OK and in a safe place.
Ironically,
this is just the opportunity to practice your abilities to handle this dire misfortune,
and put your tools to work,
dear Sunnypatti . . .
I send you light and strength
with love…
sparrow ♥
Glad to hear you are ok!
Sunnypatti., praying for you & All affected by Helene.🙏🏻 Blessings…..✨❤️
SunnyPatti, So grateful that you are okay and able to come to the site and share with us. We have all been concerned for you.
So glad to know you’re okay despite the difficulties.
Anyone heard from Kevin?
My go to tool would be getting out of me. If I reach out with a phone call, text, card, or share food, I feel better.
I have a book that I have entered severel quotes that I have collected for years. I read a few of those.
“A good cry” movie and laughter are also tools for relief.
Congratulating myself on the progress I have made.
Kevin had his own website. It was called something Rising I think.
I think Rising was part of the name.
I will try to find it.
No sign of Kevin for a long time. He mentioned at one point that his ankylosing spondylitis was an increasing factor in what he could do in a day. I hope he’s still rowing with his team.
Yes, Kevin is on my mind a lot too. I hope we hear from him soon.
Timely question since I am facing something that feels difficult to me.
After twelve years in assisted living, memory care,
I received a notice that the facility is closing
and my Mom needs to be out in 45 days.
Mom doesn’t have a memory deficit.
She is in memory care for anxiety and depression,
and she likes it there.
My husband and I moved quickly
and got her into another facility which does not fit her needs as well,
but is the best we can do for now.
Mom is so scared and I am the person who will be there
for her emotional support and to problem solve.
So I need to be strong, be there for her,
but not allow myself to be pulled under,
not allow her fear, sadness and anxiety
become my fear, sadness and anxiety.
Tools to get me through this-
getting outside everyday and gratefully taking in the beauty of nature,
taking quiet time each day to reflect on gratefulness
and perhaps begin a meditation practice.
Spending time with Mom,
without letting the time with her deplete me.
Getting plenty of rest, eat well,
and saving time and energy for the things that I enjoy.
As Julian of Norwich said
All will be well, all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.
Blessings to all! ♥️
Mary, simply acknowledging your situation is so tender, so important, and potentially very stressful. I am holding a space in my heart for your Mom’s transition and for your well-being as you assit her. Godspeed.
Thank you Mary.
I’m so pleased that you responded.
I’m trying to find a place a nice place that Mom might like
while also considering what she can afford.
♥️♥️♥️
Action is a word that comes to mind. I can’t credit this quote, yet I have relied on it in my life. « Nothing relieves anxiety like action ».My action is often writing, flow is consciousness, as the situation works itself out. Talking with a trusted other can be helpful to me. And sometimes, just reflecting on how I got this far in life, tells me I can manage what’s coming my way. And each of your ideas, so helpful. Thanks!
Mary, I resignate with this as someone with a lead-by-example leadership style. I will use my voice when called upon. My general principle is that doing must always be equal to or greater than talking.
I have prayer always –it is my “go to”. I know that even when circumstances seem to upend my world. God is there with me and beside me in all things of my life. Not easy at all…but it gives me the strength to go on.
The Gospels and my supportive people. In the darkness, I never be alone.
My Ngoc, speaking of supportive people, this reminds me of my self-esteem class during my autism transition program school days. The first thing our instructor, Jim, asked us everyday when we enter class is “Who has helped your self-esteem.” The rule is that we had to use a different person everyday. His purpose is to help us feel more comfortable with interacting with the people beyond our circle. Autism and introversion look similar. Attachment to our inner circle is the common thread. My version is similar but easier, because it refreshes every Monday. Even with a smaller circle, having 6 other people who influence our self-esteem beyond each other is within reach. It starts and ends with looking beyond the surface and appreciating care from every angle. Especially with the ladder, the more we’re able to do that, the more effective we’ll be when caring for others.
Ngoc, Yes, that is a wonderful practice and belief.
Prayer, meditation, reading, listening to a podcast, writing, listening to music and most important after prayer, talking to my mom or sitting quietly listening to my dad in my head.
“Walk it out” or “Write it out” are often helpful for me.
Absolutely Pilgrim!
Thank you.♥️
I like this, Pilgrim. Thanks for the helpful advice.