I would like to leave behind in writing the wisdom I, and some of my peers, have gleaned over a very long life. But my tendency towards perfectionism has created writers’ block. as always. I have only ever completed writing anything for publication when under external deadline. Any hints?
Perfection, or the concept has slowly
faded, for me. When I find myself in
that mode, I ask myself, what is my
motivation here? And often it’s about
how other will perceive me.
Thank you for the question today – it saved me. Because it made me realize that I fell into this perfectionism trap just today. It ended up in self-abuse and inner anger. Now I feel free and happy just to be, I’ve remembered who I am
I am not dealing with any current situation.
However, I do the best I can and do not seek to be perfect in all situations. I am human and human’s make mistakes and we are constantly learning from them.
My job as an immigration paralegal demands some level of perfection, as we are filing visa petitions that directly affect others lives. My perfectionism is sometimes detrimental however, as it slows me down and doesn’t allow me to complete as much work in a day as I would like — I’ll question myself and double check forms I already know have been completed correctly or focus in on something that really isn’t important. Like others have said, I think it’s about learning to trust yourself more….and getting out of your own way.
Lauryn, I commend you for working to help immigrants. Seems that many in society look down/treat like lower class people. We are all people, none better, none lesser.
Great question for my perfectionistic self!
I take a weekly class in drawing portraits
and a twice a month class in figure drawing,
both with a live model.
My perfectionism is always my worst enemy.
I always think that my problem is
that I need to work on some specific area
like the structure of the nose, or body proportions.
Those things are always helpful,
but the biggest thing I need to do
is let go and get out of my own way.
I’m sure this is true in my life also.
So thanks for the reminder.
Letting go, instead of holding on to a need to be perfect,
Is the way to go!♥️♥️♥️
I don´t know. Today I realized having read the question only half, missed the part ‚‘related to a current situation‘ . In order to open up to more to creativity, it would be helpful to follow just curiosity and joy, both of which might be restricted by intentions in the direction of perfection.
My husband is a perfectionist! It has taught me to be open to other ways of doing.
My “that’s just fine attitude ” or “it is good enough ” satisfies my abilities. In it all I try to find a balance.
While I have been known as a perfectionist, I don’t expect perfection. I know that nothing is perfect… and what is “perfect” anyway? It’s quite subjective! Of all of the things happening in my life right now – having gone from a restaurant back to catering only, putting our home on the market to move to the mountains, selling our business equipment and lease rights to get out of the building we’re in now, and booking and executing jobs to continue making money in the process…. well, I definitely would like them all to go a particular way, but instead of trying to control the outcomes, I just focus on doing my job, which I’m really good at, and trusting the process of life. When we decided we REALLY wanted to get out of the restaurant building we’re in now, our landlord introduced us to a guy who wants to move here and take over our space. Everything really does happen for a reason, and I know that God has our backs.
Sunnypatti, I define you as a high achiever. I see a perfectionist as someone who expects perfection out of themselves and others. Both can look similar.
I am definitely a high achiever! I used to expect perfection out of everyone, including myself, but not so much anymore. I do still want things to be perfect. The kind of work I do is 5-star food and service, so there are expectations from those who hire us to cook for them or cater their big events. I used to run surf contests and the friends I worked with always called me a perfectionist, and they loved it because they knew nothing would get left out. But it can be hard on my mentality, the whole “perfection” thing, so I’ve learned to trust myself and the skills I have. Feels a lot less stressful that way!
So interesting. You mentioned trust in both of your posts.
Trust is hard for me. I just took the class on Grateful Hope class
and trust is the part I had difficulty with.
The big step that I think I need to take now is to learn to trust myself.
Thank you Sunnypatti for bringing up the need to trust.
I can see perfectionism and difficulty with trust being related. ♥️
Sunnypatti, at one point for 5 years, I worked at Walgreens checking expiration dates on items and did some customer service like everyone else to some extent assisting customers to look for whatever they needed. Some perfection was certainly required. The last thing we need is someone taking home an expired item. Health is scary. I can see how your job requires you to be perfect. Like I’ve said before, impacts from food allergies are more visible and direct. This becomes enhanced when different cultures and backgrounds get involved.
I’ve come to learn (from this site) that letting go of expectations should be the norm – no expectations = no disappointments. This is not easy and definitely is a work in progress.
Happy Father’s Day to all our Dads out there 🙂 Enjoy your day with your family and loved ones.
Absolutely! Let go of expectations!
I am getting so much out of answering this question myself
and then especially reading and learning from all the comments.
Thank you Michele and thank you to all who responded!
Much love to all!
Letting go of expecting perfection is a way of reminding myself that I’m not perfect. Why should I expect perfection in the things or situations I encounter? Eventually, satisfaction arises when I accept that imperfection is a natural part of life. Embracing this perspective allows me to find contentment and appreciate the beauty in the imperfections of myself, others, and the world around me.
My Ngoc, this reminds me of our conversation a couple days ago. Between the lesser of the 2 evils, I’d choose being judged over hated. The 2nd one sounds harsher to me. Simply put, this reminds me of the running joke of dumb vs dumber. It’s easier to let go of judgement than haitrid. Therefore, life is clearly easier at the bottom than the top.
In just about any situation, letting go of my idea of perfection simply makes the pursuit more fun. It also gives me license to be more playful and creative. To ask, « what if » more often.
Right!
Perfectionism ruins fun, playfulness, and creativity.
It’s sad to lose these especially for an artist.
Quite a high price for something that’s unattainable.😐
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I would like to leave behind in writing the wisdom I, and some of my peers, have gleaned over a very long life. But my tendency towards perfectionism has created writers’ block. as always. I have only ever completed writing anything for publication when under external deadline. Any hints?
Perfection, or the concept has slowly
faded, for me. When I find myself in
that mode, I ask myself, what is my
motivation here? And often it’s about
how other will perceive me.
Thank you for the question today – it saved me. Because it made me realize that I fell into this perfectionism trap just today. It ended up in self-abuse and inner anger. Now I feel free and happy just to be, I’ve remembered who I am
I am not dealing with any current situation.
However, I do the best I can and do not seek to be perfect in all situations. I am human and human’s make mistakes and we are constantly learning from them.
My job as an immigration paralegal demands some level of perfection, as we are filing visa petitions that directly affect others lives. My perfectionism is sometimes detrimental however, as it slows me down and doesn’t allow me to complete as much work in a day as I would like — I’ll question myself and double check forms I already know have been completed correctly or focus in on something that really isn’t important. Like others have said, I think it’s about learning to trust yourself more….and getting out of your own way.
I bow to your will for perfectionism, dear Lauryn. For me it is a sacred will, in this special situation.
Lauryn, I commend you for working to help immigrants. Seems that many in society look down/treat like lower class people. We are all people, none better, none lesser.
Great question for my perfectionistic self!
I take a weekly class in drawing portraits
and a twice a month class in figure drawing,
both with a live model.
My perfectionism is always my worst enemy.
I always think that my problem is
that I need to work on some specific area
like the structure of the nose, or body proportions.
Those things are always helpful,
but the biggest thing I need to do
is let go and get out of my own way.
I’m sure this is true in my life also.
So thanks for the reminder.
Letting go, instead of holding on to a need to be perfect,
Is the way to go!♥️♥️♥️
Dear Mary, perfect synchronization with my post😊
Yes, dear Anna!♥️
I don’t know, like dear O. Christina.
Right now, it is not easy.
♥️♥️♥️
I don´t know. Today I realized having read the question only half, missed the part ‚‘related to a current situation‘ . In order to open up to more to creativity, it would be helpful to follow just curiosity and joy, both of which might be restricted by intentions in the direction of perfection.
If you can’t think of an example of this,
I would say that is a good thing.
Perfectionism is exhausting and self deafeating.
♥️
My husband is a perfectionist! It has taught me to be open to other ways of doing.
My “that’s just fine attitude ” or “it is good enough ” satisfies my abilities. In it all I try to find a balance.
Love this Yram!
Good enough is good enough
Exhale, breathe, be present, and be reasonable.
♥️
While I have been known as a perfectionist, I don’t expect perfection. I know that nothing is perfect… and what is “perfect” anyway? It’s quite subjective! Of all of the things happening in my life right now – having gone from a restaurant back to catering only, putting our home on the market to move to the mountains, selling our business equipment and lease rights to get out of the building we’re in now, and booking and executing jobs to continue making money in the process…. well, I definitely would like them all to go a particular way, but instead of trying to control the outcomes, I just focus on doing my job, which I’m really good at, and trusting the process of life. When we decided we REALLY wanted to get out of the restaurant building we’re in now, our landlord introduced us to a guy who wants to move here and take over our space. Everything really does happen for a reason, and I know that God has our backs.
Sunnypatti, I define you as a high achiever. I see a perfectionist as someone who expects perfection out of themselves and others. Both can look similar.
I am definitely a high achiever! I used to expect perfection out of everyone, including myself, but not so much anymore. I do still want things to be perfect. The kind of work I do is 5-star food and service, so there are expectations from those who hire us to cook for them or cater their big events. I used to run surf contests and the friends I worked with always called me a perfectionist, and they loved it because they knew nothing would get left out. But it can be hard on my mentality, the whole “perfection” thing, so I’ve learned to trust myself and the skills I have. Feels a lot less stressful that way!
So interesting. You mentioned trust in both of your posts.
Trust is hard for me. I just took the class on Grateful Hope class
and trust is the part I had difficulty with.
The big step that I think I need to take now is to learn to trust myself.
Thank you Sunnypatti for bringing up the need to trust.
I can see perfectionism and difficulty with trust being related. ♥️
Sunnypatti, at one point for 5 years, I worked at Walgreens checking expiration dates on items and did some customer service like everyone else to some extent assisting customers to look for whatever they needed. Some perfection was certainly required. The last thing we need is someone taking home an expired item. Health is scary. I can see how your job requires you to be perfect. Like I’ve said before, impacts from food allergies are more visible and direct. This becomes enhanced when different cultures and backgrounds get involved.
I’ve come to learn (from this site) that letting go of expectations should be the norm – no expectations = no disappointments. This is not easy and definitely is a work in progress.
Happy Father’s Day to all our Dads out there 🙂 Enjoy your day with your family and loved ones.
Absolutely! Let go of expectations!
I am getting so much out of answering this question myself
and then especially reading and learning from all the comments.
Thank you Michele and thank you to all who responded!
Much love to all!
Michele, being able to be more realistic with our expectations is already an accomplishment.
No specific situation comes to mind. I continue to try to do the best I can each day with work, with people and with whatever life brings my way.
Letting go of expecting perfection is a way of reminding myself that I’m not perfect. Why should I expect perfection in the things or situations I encounter? Eventually, satisfaction arises when I accept that imperfection is a natural part of life. Embracing this perspective allows me to find contentment and appreciate the beauty in the imperfections of myself, others, and the world around me.
Such a beautiful answer Ngoc!
My Ngoc, this reminds me of our conversation a couple days ago. Between the lesser of the 2 evils, I’d choose being judged over hated. The 2nd one sounds harsher to me. Simply put, this reminds me of the running joke of dumb vs dumber. It’s easier to let go of judgement than haitrid. Therefore, life is clearly easier at the bottom than the top.
In just about any situation, letting go of my idea of perfection simply makes the pursuit more fun. It also gives me license to be more playful and creative. To ask, « what if » more often.
Right!
Perfectionism ruins fun, playfulness, and creativity.
It’s sad to lose these especially for an artist.
Quite a high price for something that’s unattainable.😐
I do not recall every having an expectation of perfection. I am more of a “what will this day bring” type.
Beautiful, Pilgrim!♥️