My life currently feels easy as of this writing. The ability and willingness to adapt to my circumstances has served me well. Ngoc’s absence at this time of year last year to this year is a prime example. Operating on an individualized adaptive way of care clashed with the Traditional Asian style where care is just care.
My mom eventually saw right through me towards the end of last summer. Being closer to God also made me come to the realization that I had to change my ways. As Angela has said before “If we do what’s easy for us, our lives will be harder. If we do what’s hard for us, our lives will be easier.” I find that the saying holds true for me. On the surface, things were worse compared to last year. Going deeper, I held my word even from then when I told friends and said here that I was going to work on my integrity.
Embracing care as it is helps me be a part of any system and social setting. Speaking of which, I have grown-ups of my dad’s friends from high school coming over to stay for the next week off and on. It will be somewhere around 10 people. It wasn’t too long ago I would have been overwhelmed, but now, I’m looking forward to it.
These adults are interested in Ngoc and me and love both of us. I’ve known them since almost childhood. The Vietnamese music they’re into is similar to what my parents listen to. People look for those who are similar to them just like with me and my small circle of buddies. And beside, knowing who Ngoc and me are, their friends become our friends too. Developing and maintaining friendships within our age group is challenging whether it’s stemming from: productivity, people having their own lives, netflix, agendas, backstage politics…
When I used to run a surf contest years ago, one of my friends said to me that she loved how much of a perfectionist I was since it helped the contest go so well. It was a compliment, but also not so much of one! Sometimes people say things at moments where their words really get in deep, and I truly realized how that aspect in myself was causing stress and all kinds of other emotions.
I still have my perfectionist tendencies, but it doesn’t rule my life as much as it used to. I’ve learned to let go and go with the flow, and it has certainly eased my mind. The biggest situation I’m facing now is moving and preparing for the move. There are so many things involved, but instead of “expecting perfection,” I am just trusting that this heartfelt decision we’ve made will work out for the best. I’m glad we have a little time left on our lease, as we are using it to let go of things we do not need (like catering equipment and supplies) while researching the area where we will be headed.
Sunnypatti, it’s interesting how the same thing can swing both ways. It goes to show that narratives are real. For example, “critical thinker” is a double-edged sword. When we’re going places and feeling lighter, it’s critical thinking. When we’re stressed and feeling heavier, that same narrative flips to overthinking. Technically, we are suppose to forgive others regardless of whether they’re productive or not. As we already know too well, only productivity is forgiven in the world system. It’s that mindset of “What have you done for me now?”
How could letting go of expecting perfection shift a current situation I’m facing?
Bring a perfectionist makes for making excuses to not get hurt or to not try because of worries of failing. So for example, being afraid of love of showing love completely without trying to protect myself and put up walls is something to let go. Anyone knows who has been hurt that love feels like something we have to protect ourselves from, just in case.
How can we be open and share our hearts fully ? How can I let go and trust ? The greatest gift is love and letting go of fear is key . 🔑
Antoinette, technically, we’ve faced the same problem when looking on the surface. Mine is rooted in the basic desire for autonomy. Being closer to God and my old ways catching up to me already on the first day without Ngoc made me come to the realization that I needed to evolve. I went from being under self-government to the government of God. It’s also where I’ve become closer to the universe.
Expect less, receive more. This seems to help me, if I can remember to employ this thought to let go of perfection in myself and others.
The saga of the Indian paintbrush along the ditch.
There were 4 plants outside the ditch bank and 2 inside. I have been putting a few shovels full of water out of our ditch every other day, to the four plants on the outside of the ditch to help them flourish. 5 days ago, one disappeared. For two days more a plant was gone. I cannot tell what is eating them. Not a lagomorph. The tracks were too small. Maybe a kangaroo rat or ground squirrel. Whatever was dining, must have gotten their fill. The past 3 mornings just a few flowers have been eaten, no full plants. The story of the disappearing paintbrush continues!
Peace, Love & Light.
I don’t strive for perfection. Having loved and lived with someone who does once led into that way of thinking but I never did master it. Finally I was able to notice the impact aiming for perfection had on the person and the people around him. I started noticing myself and others and accepting and appreciating the lack of perfection. I am relearning to grow with grace and help those I love grow with grace.
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My life currently feels easy as of this writing. The ability and willingness to adapt to my circumstances has served me well. Ngoc’s absence at this time of year last year to this year is a prime example. Operating on an individualized adaptive way of care clashed with the Traditional Asian style where care is just care.
My mom eventually saw right through me towards the end of last summer. Being closer to God also made me come to the realization that I had to change my ways. As Angela has said before “If we do what’s easy for us, our lives will be harder. If we do what’s hard for us, our lives will be easier.” I find that the saying holds true for me. On the surface, things were worse compared to last year. Going deeper, I held my word even from then when I told friends and said here that I was going to work on my integrity.
Embracing care as it is helps me be a part of any system and social setting. Speaking of which, I have grown-ups of my dad’s friends from high school coming over to stay for the next week off and on. It will be somewhere around 10 people. It wasn’t too long ago I would have been overwhelmed, but now, I’m looking forward to it.
These adults are interested in Ngoc and me and love both of us. I’ve known them since almost childhood. The Vietnamese music they’re into is similar to what my parents listen to. People look for those who are similar to them just like with me and my small circle of buddies. And beside, knowing who Ngoc and me are, their friends become our friends too. Developing and maintaining friendships within our age group is challenging whether it’s stemming from: productivity, people having their own lives, netflix, agendas, backstage politics…
When I used to run a surf contest years ago, one of my friends said to me that she loved how much of a perfectionist I was since it helped the contest go so well. It was a compliment, but also not so much of one! Sometimes people say things at moments where their words really get in deep, and I truly realized how that aspect in myself was causing stress and all kinds of other emotions.
I still have my perfectionist tendencies, but it doesn’t rule my life as much as it used to. I’ve learned to let go and go with the flow, and it has certainly eased my mind. The biggest situation I’m facing now is moving and preparing for the move. There are so many things involved, but instead of “expecting perfection,” I am just trusting that this heartfelt decision we’ve made will work out for the best. I’m glad we have a little time left on our lease, as we are using it to let go of things we do not need (like catering equipment and supplies) while researching the area where we will be headed.
Sunnypatti, it’s interesting how the same thing can swing both ways. It goes to show that narratives are real. For example, “critical thinker” is a double-edged sword. When we’re going places and feeling lighter, it’s critical thinking. When we’re stressed and feeling heavier, that same narrative flips to overthinking. Technically, we are suppose to forgive others regardless of whether they’re productive or not. As we already know too well, only productivity is forgiven in the world system. It’s that mindset of “What have you done for me now?”
How could letting go of expecting perfection shift a current situation I’m facing?
Bring a perfectionist makes for making excuses to not get hurt or to not try because of worries of failing. So for example, being afraid of love of showing love completely without trying to protect myself and put up walls is something to let go. Anyone knows who has been hurt that love feels like something we have to protect ourselves from, just in case.
How can we be open and share our hearts fully ? How can I let go and trust ? The greatest gift is love and letting go of fear is key . 🔑
Antoinette, technically, we’ve faced the same problem when looking on the surface. Mine is rooted in the basic desire for autonomy. Being closer to God and my old ways catching up to me already on the first day without Ngoc made me come to the realization that I needed to evolve. I went from being under self-government to the government of God. It’s also where I’ve become closer to the universe.
As much as I am a perfectionist, I am fully aware everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are necessary to learn from. Doing your best counts 🙂
https://nationaltoday.com/let-it-go-day/
Expect less, receive more. This seems to help me, if I can remember to employ this thought to let go of perfection in myself and others.
The saga of the Indian paintbrush along the ditch.
There were 4 plants outside the ditch bank and 2 inside. I have been putting a few shovels full of water out of our ditch every other day, to the four plants on the outside of the ditch to help them flourish. 5 days ago, one disappeared. For two days more a plant was gone. I cannot tell what is eating them. Not a lagomorph. The tracks were too small. Maybe a kangaroo rat or ground squirrel. Whatever was dining, must have gotten their fill. The past 3 mornings just a few flowers have been eaten, no full plants. The story of the disappearing paintbrush continues!
Peace, Love & Light.
I’ve never heard of Indian Paintbrush, so I just looked it up… how pretty! Obviously pretty tasty, too!
I don’t strive for perfection. Having loved and lived with someone who does once led into that way of thinking but I never did master it. Finally I was able to notice the impact aiming for perfection had on the person and the people around him. I started noticing myself and others and accepting and appreciating the lack of perfection. I am relearning to grow with grace and help those I love grow with grace.
Deann, learning from other’s mistakes and misteps is also a good way to learn too.