Not having much money when I was young,
I couldn’t go to the store and buy a new one of whatever had broken . . .
I didn’t have the funds to buy things like curtains
or rugs or bookcases
or shelves,
or benches for that matter.
It became a sort of game
or treasure hunt
to find creative ways to fulfill these lacks.
My perspective changed into a creative challenge.
I became curious out of necessity,
improvised,
and made some really lovely additions to our sparse home.
I discovered
that I didn’t need a whistler on the top of my tea kettle . . .
it boiled water just fine,
I painted or stained discarded furniture . . .
I learned how and enjoyed making braided rugs,
and fixed glitchy things
with paper clips and clothespins.
I’ve become spoiled now
in my relative wealth,
getting a store-bought tablecloth last year
when I didn’t absolutely need one.
These are the kinds of problems I approach with creativity . . .
it’s not always so easy with the other kind.
I just put on my big girl boots
and get it done . . .
avoid it until I can’t
and then look the lion in the face,
and let the outcome be
whatever it’s going to be.
You are the best kind of resourceful, Sparrow. My dear friend who recently passed was skilled at staining furniture. We would buy old ratty furniture with good bones at the thrift shore, and she worked true magic. I was always in awe of how many things can be transformed with love and care.
Curiosity like a child means to trust like a child. To risk this step once again after all. What if—- ??? being deeply and painfully hurt and being and staying vulnerable after having paid a price for what since ??? It is easy to make suggestions, have you really tried to put yourself in the shoes at the other end of the game?? what this really means day by day? And you who hides wihle i make myself naked and bare, what about you? Do you join the club of equals among differents? Of one person dear to me, no , two persons dear to me, i know, they have. To you i deeply bow. And you other than thoseOnes? In your heart, is it really for the best of the child who offers its curiosity, creativity and its nonjudgmental but playful being to look from a clear and newborn prespective? Will you do, too? If you can honestly say “Yes”, i will be trusting you. But hey, stop, it is meant to be unconditional! To the Ones already meantioned i by now feel free and deeply trusting to say “Yes”. to do so, even if still a bit afraid, giving myself over to what is meant to be. One of the best alternatives to problem solving, i guess… Thank you dearly for this question and the support offered so kindly. Wishing all a happy and peaceful sleep and a beautiful new day.
Approaching a situation with curiosity for me typically involves the question of why – why does this bother me? why do I feel this way; or when – when did this start happening? That actually helps me to solve the cause. Otherwise, I am usually focused on solving the result. Approaching a situation with curiosity also helps me be not so judgmental.
This question is tricky for me. In some situations, I have used curiosity–the hunger for knowledge–to attempt to squash uncertainty. Thanks to the internet, it is possible to know too much about something. So the curiosity develops a voracious quality that is similar to the hunger to solve a problem. I tell myself: “If I only know more, if I only understand, I’ll no longer be bothered by this.”
So the curiosity and the problem solving have to *not* be driven by fear. I would re-interpret this question: When I shift from a fear-based encounter to a receptive encounter, what changes? I think it depends on the situation. Lots to contemplate here.
I agree, Drea. There is a lot to this question.
The fear is what I want to release,
but I think I have to accept it first.
Welcome it when it shows up at my door.
Perhaps learning to relax with it is the first step
to releasing it.
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Drea. ♥️
Dear Mary, your comment inspires me to share a couple of tricks I have used with fear. One is self-c0mpassion (the trick for everything I think). Another is to write down, as though watching a movie, the imagery associated with my fear. As in, the horrible nightmare situation that is scaring me. Then ask myself: “How can I protect myself out of love instead of fear?” The third is to meditate and really let the fear expand within me. Eventually it gets so big that it just deflates. That’s a purely somatic approach. All three have worked well. I wish you much patience and courage in whatever practice you apply to the visitor that is fear.
Dear Drea, Thank you for sharing your tricks to use with fear. The first trick, self compassion, is always a winner. It seems to help in every situation. I love your second trick, writing down the fear imagery, and then asking, how can I protect myself out of love instead of fear. I really love this question.
The last one, well, that sounds pretty scary.
(I’m afraid of that fear trick 😲😆😂)🥰
You know, I think I will get a box, and write down, each on its own sheet of paper, ways of dealing with fear. I will call it my Fear Toolbox. I think this would be very helpful.
I like to make things as concrete as possible for myself. Thanks so much Drea!🥰
Ooh, fear toolbox is a great idea, Mary! I wonder what other tricks could go in there. I like the idea of making it fun to deal with fear.
1
Mary
3 weeks ago
Good question. I think the biggest difference is that when I approach a situation with curiosity my heart feels lighter.
When problem solving, especially a situation involving loved ones, my heart feels heavy as I feel the pain of the situation.
No matter how I approach it the pain will be there, but if I change my focus to curiosity, I might come up with more creative and perhaps more subtle ideas.
It is certainly worth a try.
This question is a good one. I tend to react with anxiety rather than think when I feel overwhelmed. If I consider the concept of being curious about it rather than afraid, my whole body relaxes.
Choosing curiosity over fear.
That’s not easy, but it sounds right.
For me baby steps help.
I could inch over from fear to curiosity.
Thank you, Linda.
I try to always remember Eckhart Tolle’s advice:”Don’t turn a situation into a problem!” As Joseph says and I paraphrase, “Life is not happening to me. I am Life.” I don’t call it “problem solving.” I call it dealing with my life situation. I find this change in perspective very helpful. What is this situation trying to teach me? What can I do to help myself and others in this situation? I suppose that is curious behavior!
Switching from problem solving mode to curiosity opens me up to more possibilities.
I may see opportunities & solutions that I had not seen before. My view of the situation is widened, expanded. With this new view, the situation actually may not be so difficult, uncomfortable to remedy.
Have a blessed holiday weekend All.
🕊️♥️
Yes, PKR!
“…curiosity opens me up to more possibilities. I see opportunities that I had not seen before.”
Possibilities and opportunities, two of my favorite words!
I think they are always there, when I have the eyes to see them
Hmm, I will have to consciously try that and see. It seems like it might free me from the burden of thinking I need to solve and do everything and open things up to become aware of more possibilities and listen better
Approaching with curiosity takes some of the stress away. It helps me look at a situation from a different perspective, allowing (hopefully) for better decision making.
It’s the asking of questions that seems to open up conversations and encourages a true dialogue.
When I can ask questions and not be ready with a story or a solution or a plan, it seems that things open up. It also helps to look at difficult things as practice. A chance to put into practice, something I have been working on. Maintaining a beginner’s mind is not easy. Like anything, it requires coming back again and again with as little self judgment as possible. Easier said than done.
This one was difficult for me, although I see the answer to it in others’ posts. There are 2 problems I’m thinking of. Being curious might be asking why I see them as problems or just simply asking why.
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Not having much money when I was young,
I couldn’t go to the store and buy a new one of whatever had broken . . .
I didn’t have the funds to buy things like curtains
or rugs or bookcases
or shelves,
or benches for that matter.
It became a sort of game
or treasure hunt
to find creative ways to fulfill these lacks.
My perspective changed into a creative challenge.
I became curious out of necessity,
improvised,
and made some really lovely additions to our sparse home.
I discovered
that I didn’t need a whistler on the top of my tea kettle . . .
it boiled water just fine,
I painted or stained discarded furniture . . .
I learned how and enjoyed making braided rugs,
and fixed glitchy things
with paper clips and clothespins.
I’ve become spoiled now
in my relative wealth,
getting a store-bought tablecloth last year
when I didn’t absolutely need one.
These are the kinds of problems I approach with creativity . . .
it’s not always so easy with the other kind.
I just put on my big girl boots
and get it done . . .
avoid it until I can’t
and then look the lion in the face,
and let the outcome be
whatever it’s going to be.
You are the best kind of resourceful, Sparrow. My dear friend who recently passed was skilled at staining furniture. We would buy old ratty furniture with good bones at the thrift shore, and she worked true magic. I was always in awe of how many things can be transformed with love and care.
I love doing this,
dear Drea . . .
it is so satisfying
to transform a reject
into something beautiful. ♥
This was wonderful to read, Sparrow.
Thank you.
I think,
dear Mary,
that Life has mysterious ways
to teach us what we need to learn. ♥
Like your take on curious!
Curiosity,
dear Christina,
is a good thing,
no? ♥
Curiosity like a child means to trust like a child. To risk this step once again after all. What if—- ??? being deeply and painfully hurt and being and staying vulnerable after having paid a price for what since ??? It is easy to make suggestions, have you really tried to put yourself in the shoes at the other end of the game?? what this really means day by day? And you who hides wihle i make myself naked and bare, what about you? Do you join the club of equals among differents? Of one person dear to me, no , two persons dear to me, i know, they have. To you i deeply bow. And you other than thoseOnes? In your heart, is it really for the best of the child who offers its curiosity, creativity and its nonjudgmental but playful being to look from a clear and newborn prespective? Will you do, too? If you can honestly say “Yes”, i will be trusting you. But hey, stop, it is meant to be unconditional! To the Ones already meantioned i by now feel free and deeply trusting to say “Yes”. to do so, even if still a bit afraid, giving myself over to what is meant to be. One of the best alternatives to problem solving, i guess… Thank you dearly for this question and the support offered so kindly. Wishing all a happy and peaceful sleep and a beautiful new day.
Thank you dear Ose.
Wishing you peace,
dear Ose . . . ♥
Approaching a situation with curiosity for me typically involves the question of why – why does this bother me? why do I feel this way; or when – when did this start happening? That actually helps me to solve the cause. Otherwise, I am usually focused on solving the result. Approaching a situation with curiosity also helps me be not so judgmental.
This question is tricky for me. In some situations, I have used curiosity–the hunger for knowledge–to attempt to squash uncertainty. Thanks to the internet, it is possible to know too much about something. So the curiosity develops a voracious quality that is similar to the hunger to solve a problem. I tell myself: “If I only know more, if I only understand, I’ll no longer be bothered by this.”
So the curiosity and the problem solving have to *not* be driven by fear. I would re-interpret this question: When I shift from a fear-based encounter to a receptive encounter, what changes? I think it depends on the situation. Lots to contemplate here.
Thank you Drea for the thoughts to ponder.
You’re welcome Joseph, there is much to ponder in life.
Drea, I like the alternative you offer.
Thanks Christina, glad it is useful.
I agree, Drea. There is a lot to this question.
The fear is what I want to release,
but I think I have to accept it first.
Welcome it when it shows up at my door.
Perhaps learning to relax with it is the first step
to releasing it.
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Drea. ♥️
Dear Mary, your comment inspires me to share a couple of tricks I have used with fear. One is self-c0mpassion (the trick for everything I think). Another is to write down, as though watching a movie, the imagery associated with my fear. As in, the horrible nightmare situation that is scaring me. Then ask myself: “How can I protect myself out of love instead of fear?” The third is to meditate and really let the fear expand within me. Eventually it gets so big that it just deflates. That’s a purely somatic approach. All three have worked well. I wish you much patience and courage in whatever practice you apply to the visitor that is fear.
Dear Drea, Thank you for sharing your tricks to use with fear. The first trick, self compassion, is always a winner. It seems to help in every situation. I love your second trick, writing down the fear imagery, and then asking, how can I protect myself out of love instead of fear. I really love this question.
The last one, well, that sounds pretty scary.
(I’m afraid of that fear trick 😲😆😂)🥰
You know, I think I will get a box, and write down, each on its own sheet of paper, ways of dealing with fear. I will call it my Fear Toolbox. I think this would be very helpful.
I like to make things as concrete as possible for myself. Thanks so much Drea!🥰
Ooh, fear toolbox is a great idea, Mary! I wonder what other tricks could go in there. I like the idea of making it fun to deal with fear.
Good question. I think the biggest difference is that when I approach a situation with curiosity my heart feels lighter.
When problem solving, especially a situation involving loved ones, my heart feels heavy as I feel the pain of the situation.
No matter how I approach it the pain will be there, but if I change my focus to curiosity, I might come up with more creative and perhaps more subtle ideas.
It is certainly worth a try.
This question is a good one. I tend to react with anxiety rather than think when I feel overwhelmed. If I consider the concept of being curious about it rather than afraid, my whole body relaxes.
Well said,
dear Linda . . . ♥
Choosing curiosity over fear.
That’s not easy, but it sounds right.
For me baby steps help.
I could inch over from fear to curiosity.
Thank you, Linda.
I try to always remember Eckhart Tolle’s advice:”Don’t turn a situation into a problem!” As Joseph says and I paraphrase, “Life is not happening to me. I am Life.” I don’t call it “problem solving.” I call it dealing with my life situation. I find this change in perspective very helpful. What is this situation trying to teach me? What can I do to help myself and others in this situation? I suppose that is curious behavior!
Changing the vocabulary,
dear Carol Ann,
makes all the difference in the world,
doesn’t it?
I find your response
incredibly helpful . . .
thank you. ♥
I think that is the receptive, positive kind of curiosity! The kind to cultivate.
Switching from problem solving mode to curiosity opens me up to more possibilities.
I may see opportunities & solutions that I had not seen before. My view of the situation is widened, expanded. With this new view, the situation actually may not be so difficult, uncomfortable to remedy.
Have a blessed holiday weekend All.
🕊️♥️
Yes, PKR!
“…curiosity opens me up to more possibilities. I see opportunities that I had not seen before.”
Possibilities and opportunities, two of my favorite words!
I think they are always there, when I have the eyes to see them
I’m multiple steps ahead and can adapt to my environment with less effort. I’m also able to get more of what I want effectively too.
Hmm, I will have to consciously try that and see. It seems like it might free me from the burden of thinking I need to solve and do everything and open things up to become aware of more possibilities and listen better
Approaching with curiosity takes some of the stress away. It helps me look at a situation from a different perspective, allowing (hopefully) for better decision making.
It does,
at that,
dear SunnyPatti . . . ♥
Problem -solving, for me, means, I have to have a correct solution. Curiosity, takes the burden off.
It’s the asking of questions that seems to open up conversations and encourages a true dialogue.
When I can ask questions and not be ready with a story or a solution or a plan, it seems that things open up. It also helps to look at difficult things as practice. A chance to put into practice, something I have been working on. Maintaining a beginner’s mind is not easy. Like anything, it requires coming back again and again with as little self judgment as possible. Easier said than done.
Yes,
dear Charlie . . .
that’s a tough one. ♥
This one was difficult for me, although I see the answer to it in others’ posts. There are 2 problems I’m thinking of. Being curious might be asking why I see them as problems or just simply asking why.
The immediate need to fix unravels and the stress becomes less prominent. I might see windows opening.