Bound Together: Grateful Contentment

Contentment is the grandest virtue in the grateful life. 

The philosopher and classicist Paul Woodruff says, “Virtues are sources of good behavior.” A good person, he says, is one “who feels like doing what is right…Virtue is the source of the feelings that prompt us to behave well.” Some may perceive the talk of virtues as antiquated or associate them with religion, but the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Chinese would much disagree. Virtues, as ancient philosophers taught, are what hold communities together because good character is what strengthens connection.

Contentment comes from the Latin continere meaning “to hold together.” Our modern understanding of the word comes from the early 15th century, “to rest or be satisfied.” Both definitions offer us a fuller understanding of living gratefully. 

The schema of discontent does not stop with the consumption of material goods. It proliferates throughout society and leverages fear and anxiety to drive us to a future world where virtues like contentment, justice, courage, fortitude, and others — the sources that hold communities together and strengthen us — are scarce.

Contentment is a virtue because it is lifelong work. The race to make us discontent begins very early in modern life and never leaves us. We know that products are aggressively marketed to children to get them addicted as early as possible, which we have seen from sugar to tobacco, and now online algorithms behave worse than the most unethical Chief Marketing Officers in corporations to drive overconsumption at the cost of the earth. The schema of discontent does not stop with the consumption of material goods. It proliferates throughout society and leverages fear and anxiety to drive us to a future world where virtues like contentment, justice, courage, fortitude, and others — the sources that hold communities together and strengthen us — are scarce. With a scarcity of virtues, fear is more easily propagated to generate profits and gain power. Rather than appreciating what we have, we follow the Marlboro Man in all his forms as he encourages us to chase whatever he is promoting as desirable, even if it is deplorable.

Luckily, contentment is a naturally occurring virtue when you live gratefully because your grateful recognition of what you have received in life and your being satisfied with it is where gratitude and contentment speak to each other. 

When you are grateful and do not take things for granted this is contentment speaking. When your needs are met and you appreciate what you have, this is gratitude speaking. When you finally rest in your satisfaction rather than chase an indefatigable desire to obtain more, this is grateful contentment shouting its thank you. 

The gratefully content heart seeks what is virtuous and good. When this is what you seek you are inevitably led to community, relationships, beauty, and kindness.  

This is why it is important to frequently ask yourself: what more must I seek if I am truly satisfied; if I am truly grateful? This is a powerful question to discern the state of your gratefulness. It is also transformative for discovering meaning in your life. The heart that is gratefully content does not seek what the Marlboro Man is selling nor is it easily persuaded by fear-mongering. The gratefully content heart seeks what is virtuous and good. When this is what you seek you are inevitably led to community, relationships, beauty, and kindness.  

Of course, it would be neglectful to ignore that there is much in life that is unsatisfactory. Relationships disappoint and people betray, and you will not always receive the care and kindness you deserve. With a grateful perspective, you can give thanks for what you did receive and release what no longer satisfies you. The gift of grateful contentment is that you can say thank you and goodbye in the same breath while knowing that what you seek is not found in products or prestige but rather in what you are worthy of receiving in this one, grateful life — the satisfaction of being alive and belonging. That your satisfied life matters even while discontent is being sown around you.

Photo by Ümit Bulut

Joe Primo, Grateful Living

Joe Primo is the CEO of Grateful Living. He is a passionate speaker and community-builder whose accomplishments made him a leading voice on resilience and adversity. Gratefulness for life, he believes, is foundational to discovering meaning and the only response that is big enough and appropriate for the plot twists, delights, surprises, and devastation we encounter along the way. A student of our founder since his studies at Yale Divinity School, Joe is committed to advancing our global movement and making the transformational practice of grateful living both accessible to all and integral to communities and places of belonging. His TED talk, “Grief is Good,” reframed the grief paradigm as a responsive resource. He is the author of “What Do We Tell the Children? Talking to Kids About Death and Dying” and numerous articles.

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