I would like to share with you an experience I had, which helped me overcome deep sadness and self-hatred. I frequently refer back to this experience, which I almost forgot, but found my way back to, through the practice of gratefulness. Without the infinite, absolutely beautiful abundance of nature and without these beautiful people, who give all their heart to support the cure and development of a beautiful, healthy, shared one world, this experience would not have been possible. With deepest thanks, and deep gratefulness from my heart, to all of you here…
Softly rustling sounds, scents of crackling autumn leaves rise, oblique rays of sunshine pass through pervasive wafts of mist between the bare tree trunks of mixed forest. I love the aromatic, fresh taste of the sun-infused air during the early-morning hours, when the tiniest drops of delicate mist moisten my nose and my face.
Along the footpath, single rays of light illuminate “guttation pearls”; sparkling like precious gems in the embrace of a wild lady’s mantle. Heavenly water — pearl upon pearl — born of this healing herb.
I kneel down. The tear in the center of the chalice-shaped leaf draws my attention. Tears. Since birth I have shed so many of them. My soul’s futile attempt to flush away the sadness living deep within me. These fruitless attempts now remembered as if in a time-lapse.
As the rising sun slowly warms the day — myself included — I gratefully observe this tiny, glistening beauty. I feel a silent wave of joy spreading throughout my being, as I am witness to its loveliness.
As a child, singing led me to a great unfolding of love and delight; training in the arts warmed my soul and tuned my senses to color, proportion and harmony; teachers and friends, my chosen family, warmhearted and willing to accompany my journey. Extraordinary caring friendships, along with wise, humble guidance has been offered to me and helps my life unfold to be its best!
Suddenly, several small droplets at the leaf margin of the Alchemilla drip and melt with the one completely transparent pearl in the center of the chalice, inviting me to dive deep into this magnifying lens of beauty. I immerse myself in its pure light.
There is nothing but a sense of pristine awareness. The clear liquid invites me to merge with it. I feel like I am being carried by the water.
My attention passes the convex surface, and I gaze at the detailed structure of the leaf below. Where is the loneliness? The deep sadness? Where is the unresolved hatred? Where is my fear of the ultimate authority, which has determined my life so far? The fear of death? My heart beats intensely, but I cannot find it. There is nothing but a sense of pristine awareness. The clear liquid invites me to merge with it. I feel like I am being carried by the water. My eyes watching. I dare myself to close my eyes. In this purity, there is no threat, and so I surrender and dissolve.
Stillness. There is nothing but pure, deep joy in timeless stillness. All embracing love in infinite spaciousness. Me and everything around me is one heart beating. Everything near and far is connected. No difference and yet everything is differentiated.
In its crystal clarity, I retrieve the treasure and stow the preciousness into the heart’s basket of remembrance. I am embedded in eternal security and comfort. We all are.
While leaving this sacred space, I bow my head in deep gratefulness.