In our Grateful Hope course, the renowned peacebuilder John Paul Lederach joined us in conversation. He has worked in war torn communities across the globe for decades. At the heart of his work is belonging. When he enters situations where peace appears impossible, he seeks to understand. 

In his many wisdom-rich stories, John Paul’s heroines all have one thing in common. They have the courage to make an improbable friend. The people who make peace possible don’t surround themselves with those who think like them, have the same values, or have similar life experiences. Instead, it’s most often a small group of people who are willing to honor the humanity of someone else — even people who make it hard to see their humanity or understand their perspective. 

One of the many gifts we receive when we practice grateful living is the ability to connect more deeply with others. Why? Because our perspective expands to the point where it becomes increasingly more difficult to close our heart off to others. This everyday practice extends a challenging and transformative invitation to make an improbable friend.

This practice is not to be taken lightly. Belonging is a human need and to “other” or be “othered” is a deep physical and spiritual pain. Engage in this practice when you have the capacity to show up fully, tenderly, and with a commitment to these grateful living values.

Step One: Identify

Identify a topic, situation, or conflict that causes you anger, deep concern, or passion.

Step Two: Seek

Seek out someone who believes, is actively experiencing, or thinks differently than you do about this source of conflict or concern.

Step Three: Connect

Bring your whole self to a conversation with an improbable friend and work to understand (not change) the person in front of you. 

Here are the values you will carry into the conversation and every interaction:

  • I will see this person’s humanity
  • I will seek to understand their life experiences
  • I will seek our shared hopes
  • I will not walk away; I will move more deeply into the discomfort

Photo by Kate Kalvach


Build a Life of Belonging

Take a meaningful step to heal the divisiveness in the world. In this self-guided series you will receive guidance, inspiration, and practices to help you cultivate a deeper sense of belonging in your daily life.

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Joe Primo, Grateful Living
Joe Primo, Grateful Living

Joe Primo is the CEO of Grateful Living. He is a passionate speaker and community-builder whose accomplishments made him a leading voice on resilience and adversity. Gratefulness for life, he believes, is foundational to discovering meaning and the only response that is big enough and appropriate for the plot twists, delights, surprises, and devastation we encounter along the way. A student of our founder since his studies at Yale Divinity School, Joe is committed to advancing our global movement and making the transformational practice of grateful living both accessible to all and integral to communities and places of belonging. His TED talk, “Grief is Good,” reframed the grief paradigm as a responsive resource. He is the author of “What Do We Tell the Children? Talking to Kids About Death and Dying” and numerous articles.

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Perspective
Peace
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